Oh Jules
by Lov3good
Summary: My feelings for Paul changed the minute he knocked a door into my face. But I guess, that's the price to pay for love. Paul/OC !COMPLETE! SEQUEL UP!
1. Need More Colour, Need More Change

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Paul for that matter. If I would, you think I really would be wasting my time here? hehehe!**_

**_A/N: I know, another Twilight story. First of all I like to apologize for deleting my Jared/Kim story Beautiful Disaster. I just lost interest and the past couple of months I'm losing interest in writing and all my other occupations for that matter, but I suppose that's the end of that! But behold my new story! I got inspired by all those wonderful Paul/Oc stories. And I of course saw Twilight, and for the people who haven't seen it, I won't spoil it, but I'll say this. It is just awesome! Go watch it! Anyway, if you like to talk about Twilight, just send me a message! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! Anyway, enough of yapping! Behold Oh Jules._**

**_Hugs to my beta WolfGirl-Addie 3_**

_Need More Colour, Need More Change_

With a fluent motion I brushed a thin layer of paint on the thick canvas. Another brush stroke, but of pale blue this time. And another feather light stroke, slightly covering the pale blue, and giving it a greenish kind of glow. Almost there, I thought. As I carefully dipped the point of the paintbrush in the paint on the pallet and applied it on the paper I realised that I was getting there. Slowly, yes, but at least I was getting there. In the past couple of months all of my work was dreadful. Not up to my usual standard and it was making me stress out. At first I thought it was just like a writers block, but with art. But when I just wouldn't get out of my rut I realised that maybe it is more. Maybe I've used all my inspiration and that I'm lacking a muse right now. But how am I going to find a muse when I never needed one?

Sighing I put the paintbrush away and sat down on my knees in front of it. It was alright. Maybe a bit too bright, but it's bearable. Yet still, it was missing something. And that something was something different. It was the same. It was comparable to my paintings of last week, or last month. Or even last year. It was simply the same. I need something else, something new, something to make it different. But that was easier said that done.

I decided to leave it to this and started cleaning up my mess. Right now I'm pretty sure Miss Gates wouldn't appreciate the mess I've left behind in the art classroom. After all, I was still in school. I quickly washed the paint off my hands and grabbed my bags leaving the classroom, descending the stairs, and heading towards the cafeteria. Where my loyal friends: Kim Sudol and Summer Lott would be waiting.

"Julie." Kim exclaimed. She was currently sitting in her boyfriend Jared Deloria's lap and the way Jared looked at Kim made me envious. Who would ever think that Jared Deloria would fall for Kim Sudol? No one, even though I knew that one day Jared would have to notice Kim, I mean. How can you not notice a girl who has been sitting next to you for two years? Well apparently you can, Jared just proved us wrong, but once he set his eyes on her, his eyes stayed there. So I suppose that makes it up for the not noticing.

I plopped down next to Summer. "Jules," She acknowledges and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her distant manner of greeting. But that is just Summer. Distant, but you get used to it. Her dark hair was hanging loosely on her shoulders and her gorgeous green eyes were fixated on her plate as she practically stabbed her fork in her salad. Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed. Or in her case: with the wrong person.

"You got something right here." Jared suddenly said, pointing his index finger on his cheek. I raised my hand to mine and I realized that there was a smudge of blue on it. Great, so I've been walking through the whole school with paint all over my face.

"Ugh! Great!" I moaned. I was about to get up but my stomach protested.

"I think I'll eat first." I said, slightly embarrassed.

"Good idea." Kim said, preoccupied with Jared, like always. Sometimes I wished I had a guy like Jared. He was handsome, nice, smart, strong and just utterly adorable. But of course: Those kinds of guys are either taken or hidden somewhere where you can't see them. In my case, I'm just surrounded with morons. I carefully decorated my salad in an artistic way as I delayed my walk to the table. I really wasn't in the mood for sappiness and Summer's gloom presence. She was making me feel bad, which I really didn't need right now.

"Decorate much?" In shock I almost dropped the bowl that was in my hands. I looked up and saw Seth Clearwater with a big grin on his face. I than realized he was almost a head taller than me.

"Seth? Dude, how did you grow so much?" I looked up and Seth's grin just grew. I felt slightly intimidated with his presence and him practically towering over me.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Ah well, maybe you're just short Jules." He gave me slight nudge in my ribs and I recoiled slightly but not enough as I punched his arm. Ouch! That hurt. As we both walked back to the table. I flexed my hand secretly. Hoping it wasn't bruised or anything. I needed that hand to paint.

"Hey guys, look who I found." I said cheery as Seth sat down next to Summer. I sat down next to Seth to hear Summer grunt something incoherently to Seth. Seth rolled his eyes and got comfortable throwing his arm around Summer. I couldn't help but laugh when Summer slapped his arm away.

"Seth!" She practically growled at him. I started to laugh when I saw Seth recoil. Putting his hand in the air as if surrendering him self. This of course was all done in good fun and in Seth's case, he was mocking Summer. Like always.

"Dick." She snapped and grabbed her stuff before leaving the table and the cafeteria.

"Seth." I said exasperated. This always happened. During class Kim and I didn't have to suffer through Seth and Summer biting each other's heads off. I think Seth likes Summer, and the feeling is mutual, but she just doesn't realize it.

"What? It's not my fault; it's easy to push her buttons." Seth grinned and took a piece of cucumber and popped it into his mouth, chewing quite animatedly.

"Whatever, I'll go find her." I got up and walked out of the cafeteria. Summer was only one year older than Seth, because she skipped a grade. That's why she is a senior and Seth a sophomore. If Seth and Summer end up together, which I strongly support, I hope Seth will be able to contain his tongue. He is sweet and all, but he got the strong urge to say what he thinks. No matter if it is negative or positive. It has to get out.

As I ascended stairs and ran blindly through the hallway I didn't see the door on my left and I slammed blindly into it, hitting my head in the process. The last thing I remember?

"Jules? Shit! Love, you alright?"

Things turned black right there and oblivion pulled me under like a heavy blanket. It was the only thing I could hold on to. A suffocating blackness was closing me in from every side.

"Jules? Julie, come on!"

"Is that Julie? Paul what did you do?"

The voices automatically were turned down a few notches. It was like tuning out an old radio. At least I know the catalyst behind my current condition.

Paul Matson.

**_A/N: So, worth continiuing? I truly hope so! Anyway, let me know. Don't hesitate to leave me review! I love to hear from you guys!_**


	2. Cause I'm A Paper Chaser

**_Disclaimer: So I don't own anything, and the rest you know._**

**_A/N: So the second chapter. I had a bit trouble with the start, but after that I had a lot of fun. I hope you'll like it. I'd like to thank all of you guys for the support! FIFTEEN ALERTS! Holy macaroni! That's bloody amazing! Anyway, I'd love it if you guys would drop me a review. Just a few words is fine too. I love to hear from you guys! _**

**_Anyway, my other story Goodbye Alice In Wonderland is being majorly edited. The whole story is in fact changing, but I'm thinking about just deleting the story and starting overnew! But I can also just edit the chapters. But let me know what you guys prefer._**

**_And that's that, and here is chapter two: Enjoy!_**

**_Hugs to my beta WolfGirl-Addie =D_**

_Cause I'm A Paper Chaser_

An ice cold pack of ice was held against my head and it slightly relieved my pain, as I couldn't help but feel remotely ridiculous. Look where I was. Sitting in the nurse's office with I don't know how many people here with me. I counted the familiar faces. Summer, Seth, Kim, Jared, Collin, Brady, Summer's little brother and a close friend of Seth. Those I knew. But then you also had; Jacob Black. Quil Ateara. Embry Call, and then last and in this case also least, Paul Matson. I wondered what they were doing here.

I mean I understand that Paul was there, even though I was surprised when I came to that he carried me to the nurse's office, Paul isn't really known for his chivalry. But strangely enough he didn't complain, he even seemed a bit concerned. This bothered me immensely.

"Now dear, if you feel any nausea, faint or anything come straight back to me. Now off you go." The sweet old school nurse said to me and than turned to Paul with a very dangerous glare. I swear I saw Paul cower in fear. But I suppose it's hard not to feel afraid when the school nurse is about to attack you. I held back a laugh and I saw others do the same thing.

"You," She growled pointing her finger at Paul. "We are going to have a talk. Outside. _Now_!" The moment Paul cringed and slouched out the door everyone started laughing. The moment the door closed behind them I could hear the school nurse yell while Paul was continuingly apologizing. His apologies muffled by a screaming school nurse.

"Anyway, are you feeling alright Jules?" Seth asked nicely. He sat down next to me and ruffled my hair in a sweet gesture but the blow was still fresh and cringed in pain.

"Right. Sorry Jules." He apologized. Jules, my nickname ever since I was a little kid, Seth gave it to me. I can't remember exactly when it started but the moment his parents introduced me to him as Julie, he shortened my name and started calling me Jules. That was now four years ago. He was eleven and I was thirteen.

The door opened and Paul came back in, his dark hair ruffled because of his hand going through his hair continuously. He gave me a small smile and I gave him a small one back. Just out of politeness. His dark eyes were focused on me and I stared back, completely breathless. My thoughts were on overdrive but my thoughts were incoherent. One word: Mush.

"Ahem." Kim coughed quite loudly, and might I add, not so subtle. I immediately darted my eyes away from his and looked at Kim, who was watching me oddly...

"I guess it's time to go." Jared said and grabbed Paul by his arm dragging him out of the room with Jacob, Embry, Quil following them, and Collin trailing obediently behind them. It's like seeing bees following honey.

"Hope you'll feel better." Quil said quickly.

"Thanks." I muttered and the door closed behind them, leaving me alone with Summer, Kim, Brady and Seth.

"So," I said as got back on my feet. That wasn't really a good idea because I could feel the instant faintness set in. Seth grabbed my arm as I swayed and steadied me. His skin was warm and I couldn't help but let out a gasp by the shock. I knew he had a warm skin. So did Brady and Collin, but I couldn't help but think about it.

"Easy there." He said simply.

"So," Brady began. Ugh. Brady. Honestly. He's nice, he really is, but he sure knows how to make awkward conversation.

"What was that?" I decided to play stupid. Hey, someone knocked me out. I think I have a right to do so.

"What was what?" I replied simply. Brady and Summer both exchanged looks and I rolled my eyes. Ouch! Even that hurts! All of us trailed out of the school nurse's office and headed back to our lockers.

"You know what we're talking about." Summer said as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I scowled. Why oh why do they have to notice that.

"I think Paul likes you." Summer teased and her smile grew while I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Shut up!" I muttered embarrassed. Seth gave Summer a small nudge and I could see Summer's face explode with anger. She hated it when Seth touched her. Even put an arm around her. I often wonder why she hates him so much. I couldn't imagine someone hating Seth. He's a very kind guy and he would be a great boyfriend.

"Lay off." She growled. Summer could do with some anger management.

"Calm down." Seth said. His joking demeanour wasn't here at the moment and I knew that this would be a huge blow out.

"I am calm."

"You sure look like it." Seth said sarcastically if not patronizing.

Summer glared at him but suddenly her eyes softened and she turned her head away from him. Kim, Brady and I all looked at the scene. Boy, there really was something going on here.

"Come on Seth. Let's go." Brady intercepted and he gave his sister a disgusted look and then turned back to me.

"Hope you'll feel better Julie." I smiled at the concern and waved him goodbye.

"See ya Jules." Seth said his eyes still on Summer and he gave me a small peck on the head before leaving with Brady.

"What was that?" Kim quoted Brady, and I shrugged while Summer grabbed my arm again.

Boy, they're seriously dysfunctional.

^*^

"Julie!" My mother, Dena called. "Dinner's ready." I sighed and turned off my radio and put down the pastels I was using. My drawings were still awful, repetitious, and simply unoriginal. I hated it, but somehow I couldn't get out of the block. As I got up and washed my hands I couldn't help but long for some fresh air.

I descended the stairs after I was done and ran into the kitchen. My dad wasn't there. That wasn't really a surprise. My mother made me sit down and handed over a plate. As we both ate silently I looked out of the window. The sun wasn't completely down yet and it wasn't raining, so I might as well go outside after dinner for a while. Maybe I could take my sketchbook with me.

"So how's your head?" My mother asked me. Her sweet brown eyes were radiating genuine concern and I felt like hugging her.

"It's alright, throbs a bit but other than that it's fine."

"Hmm, maybe we should ask if Dr Cullen could take a look at it." I rolled my eyes always the concerned one. Dr Cullen lives in Forks with his family. I've seen Edward Cullen and his girlfriend Bella Swan once in the grocery store. They seemed nice enough.

"No, I don't think it's necessary." I said. She huffed but gave up. My mother and I never really had that great mother daughter relationship. Partially because my dad prevented it. Even though he wasn't at home he had a certain claim on her and me and it prevented us from being a real family. I could feel the resentment fill my gut as thoughts of my dad came up.

"I'm going outside for a while. I'll be back in an hour or so." I said and my mother nodded absentminded.

I quickly dumped my plate in the kitchen and went to my room to grab my sweatshirt and bag, where I put my sketchbook and pencils in. I left the house in no more than five minutes. I lived in La Push, like most Quileute people and our house was pretty big in size. It looked a bit like a country house. It was white with two storeys, and blue window frames. In fact it was a dream house and if there was one thing I loved it would've been our house.

Not a lot of people in La Push had these kinds of houses, there were only a few. This sadly enough included Paul Matson. I'm not really sure what I have against Paul. It's just I hate the way he treats people. He's always so angry and it makes me wonder what he lacks.

I took off to the beach and as my feet trudged forward in a solid rhythm I hummed the mockingbird lullaby. I loved the mockingbird song. My mother used to sing it when I was little and I did the same thing to my little baby cousin.

As I found a spot to sit down I shrugged on my sweatshirt. It was a littler more chilly than I expected but it was bearable. As I sat down I looked at the sight in front of me I felt some inspiration, and thus I began.

Several minutes passed and I was completely engrossed in my drawing that I didn't hear someone sit down next to me. When I felt the person radiate heat I looked up sharply dropping my sketchbook and pencil immediately while I yelped.

"Calm down, it's just me." Paul said. And I put a hand to my chest preventing my heart from jumping out.

"What are you doing here?" I muttered, surprised at the fact that he was here in the first place.

"Hello to you to." He joked and he gave me this heartbreaking smile. This cannot be happening. I cannot like that smile. I refuse.

"I have to go." I said, completely forgetting everything. But luck wasn't on my side today and a heavy wind started to blow away all my sketches.

"Oh, my God," I muttered horrified as several pieces of paper whirled on the gusts of wind. Paul got up and helped me collect them. He got them quicker than I would have been able to and handed them over.

"Thanks." I said, looking at my feet.

"You can look at me you know. I won't bite you." Paul pointed out and I grimaced, I hated when people pointed these kind of things out.

"I know, sorry about that." I really was, honestly.

"Hey listen. About this morning, I'm really sorry knocking you out. If it helps, I didn't see you." Paul said with an apologetic smile.

'If it helps, I didn't see you.'

No that doesn't help, at all. "Is that your subtle way of pointing out that someone is invisible?" I snapped, clearly insulted. I gathered my stuff and put them in my bag before walking away. The nerve of that guy!

"Julie, listen." I knew he was jogging behind me and close to catching up so I quickened my pace.

"Hey come on." He said and he grabbed my arm making me turn. I never really realized how tall he really was, as I had to crane my neck backwards to see his face.

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Sure you didn't." I muttered. I refused to look into his smouldering brown eyes.

"Look you took it the wrong way. I didn't see you because…" He let out a small laugh awkwardly before he continued, "because you're not the tallest of girls." I raised my eyebrows at him. He really had a knack for insulting me.

"Thanks a lot you jerk." I pushed him away from me and continued my walk.

"Oh shit, Jules, hey!" He pulled my arm again and this time I collided with his chest. The heat rose immediately to my cheeks.

"Are you mad?" His voice husky

"I- uh, I-" I stuttered.

"I didn't mean to." I had to get out of here. His body heat was too much for me to bear, besides I hardly know the boy, so why does this feel so pleasant?

"I understand." My brain was taking over from here. "But I have to go now."

"Oh, alright, I understand." Was that disappointment?

"Okay, well bye." I stepped back and waited for him to leave and walk in the other direction.

"Bye."

We both kept standing, our eyes never really meeting each other. So I suppose this is where awkward silences come from.

"Bye!" I decided to cut the chase and I turned around breaking the spell. I heard him call my name and to my utter surprise my body reacted and stopped.

"What?" I yelled back.

"You got some paint right here." He tapped his cheek. I raised my hand to my cheek. The blue paint of this morning was still there. Crap.

**_A/N: So how was it? I'd love to hear from you guys._**


	3. You Talk To Me In A Siren Song

_**Disclaimer: This is Stephenie Meyer's work! I repeat STEPH-ANIE ME-YER. I suppose I'm clear now =D**_

**_A/N: Here's chapter three. Four is being worked on. Don't worry though it's all in my head! Hahaha anyway. Thank's to my lovely beta WolfGirl-Addie. She's really a rock for betaing this chapter in a blink of a eye! You rock girl! So I'm dedicating this chapter to you Addie! _**

_You Talk To Me in A Siren Song_

"So you just left?" Kim repeated. I nodded meekly and hid my face in my hands, too embarrassed to face my two best friends in the eye. Right now I was with Kim and Summer in the living room. My parents were both working in the hospital. My dad was a surgeon and my mum was a nurse. Both met through their work, obviously. And voila, three years later came baby Julie. I sighed and faced Kim and Summer. Both looking at me like I was an idiot, or at least, Summer, was.

"Kim before you say anything, it doesn't have to mean anything. Maybe it's all just a one timer." I tried. Summer just rolled her eyes and muttered something like "If only you knew." I frowned at that but Kim demanded attention and I turned back to her.

"Do you really believe that? Because honestly I think you're avoiding the whole thing." Kim said slowly. I suppose she could be right. So let me put everything in order.

Paul Matson, 18 years, a senior, just like me. He hangs out with Jared mostly but he's seen with Jacob, Embry, Quil and Seth too. He's tall, and I mean very tall, like 6 feet 5 or something. He's in some sort of gang, Sam Uley is the leader, and they call themselves the protectors. Seriously though! What do I know more of Paul besides the fact he's sort of attractive? He has a three year old sister. I think her name is Sara. And he lives with his parents.

So that's that and now I can move on... or not...

"What do you want me to do than?" I asked Kim. Cause quite frankly I didn't know what to do.

"Well I suppose you could give him a chance. You might be surprised." Wow, rewind! A chance...? A chance to what?!?

"Wow, stop there! What do you mean? What kind of chance? I don't even know the guy!" I responded. What was she implying?

"That's what I mean Jules. I think you should, I don't know, acquaint with him more. You know, become _friends_." She emphasised. I snorted very unladylike and Kim threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

"I think you should just leave the guy alone." Summer piped up. Typical Summer, no long term relationship... Hold on, where did that come from? Why did I just link Paul with a long term relationship?

"You okay there Jules? You look kind of pale." Kim suddenly asked. I swallowed and cleared my throat before speaking.

"Just peachy..."

"Good, so now we can discuss what you are going to with Paul." I grunted and looked annoyed at Kim.

"Weren't we just contemplating the possibilities?" I asked.

"Yes Kim, it's not always sunshine with guys." Summer began. "They're not all_ Jared_."

"I _know _that." Kim stressed. "But Paul is a good guy."

"What makes you say that?" Summer barked. I rolled my eyes. Kim and Summer loved each other to death but they would butt heads often. Actually Summer would butt heads with almost everyone.

"Well, I know the guy, besides he's friends with Jared." I opened my mouth to cut Kim off.

"Yes and we all know how amazing Jared is." She gave me a sour look and Summer and I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself."

"Obviously," Kim said. She gave me a pointed look before she continued. "I just think you ought to give him a go. You'll be surprised." She looked so determined that it looked like she almost convinced me. But then Summer had to say something.

"Don't listen to her. Just do what you think is best and I personally say that you should just let the boy go. There are plenty of guys out there. I could help you look for one." Summer raised her eyebrows suggestively and I groaned hiding my face in my hands again. I'm so confused!

Both of their opinions didn't feel right. Personally I wasn't sure what to do. One part said that I should befriend the guy. Who knows, maybe he's absolutely adorable. But the other part said that it's best to leave it like it's supposed to be. Just go back to how it was before this morning. I mean, I wasn't unhappy or something. But then again, I'm not sure if I want to go. 'Cause I have to admit, Paul does have me under a certain kind of spell. It's confusing really.

"So what are you going to do?" Both Kim and Summer had their eyes on me. I suppose there is only one thing left for me to do.

**^*^**

I took a deep breath as I stopped in the doorway. I had Art and guess _who_ was in my class? You guessed right, Paul. After last night I had decided to take Kim's advice. No offence to Summer but Kim's tactic seemed harmless. So I had decided to sit next to him. I walked to the empty seat next to Paul and plopped down next to him like it was a normal thing to do. I ignored the look Paul gave me and while the other students walked in I couldn't help but noticing the stares in our direction. Was it _that_ odd for me to sit down next to Paul? Apparently because when Summer and Kim came in Summer's jaw dropped to the ground. Kim just looked irritatingly smug.

"So..." Paul began. I turned to look at him more closely and realized that I was sitting a bit too close to him. But somehow I didn't mind. I looked in to his gorgeous brown eyes and couldn't help but smile.

"So..." I repeated. We were engulfed in silence. "Did you finish your history essay?" I blurted out. That was so typical. I tended to talk about homework when an awkward silence would erupt. I suppose I need a new habit.

Paul chuckled and I liked the sound of it. Maybe Kim was right. "Yeah, well at least one half of it."

"But we were supposed to hand it in today." I said astound. God I sounded like a geek, a terrible annoying geek. Shut up Julie! Thank God he didn't seem annoyed by me. He just gave a simple shrug with a dazzling smile. "This is new." I confessed after a while. People were still looking at us and I twirled a lock of my hair around my finger, a nervous habit of mine.

"Definitely," He replied, his eyes still on me. Suddenly I started to cower. What was I thinking? I can't do this. I'm not good with guys. Never mind Paul. I'm so screwed. As our Art teacher, Miss Delavan, started class I couldn't help but try to keep my attention at her, instead of the gorgeous guy next to me.

The first ten minutes were bearable but then hell began.

"I'd like you to pick a partner. Just pick the one next to you and make a sketch of that person. You have fifteen minutes to finish your sketch of your partner and then you do the same thing but then the other way around. Any questions...? No? Good, you can begin." Miss Delavan was a sweet petite woman somewhere in her mid forties. She was a very optimistic person and always saw the best in people.

"So, partner? Who goes first?" Paul said. I looked at him and didn't know what to do. Shoot! Just what I need...

"Uh, you…can go… first. If you want to though," I quickly said. Paul shrugged casually.

"Why don't you go first?" I gulped and nodded self consciously.

"Sure." My voice was strained and as he seated himself in front of me I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to survive this class?

_Why oh why did I listen to Kim?!?_

**_A/N: So school's starting again next week! So updating won't be as much but I'll try! As long as you review expect updates. Oh, that's not nice of me. Well fair enough! Review, make my day!_**


	4. The Farthest Thing From Beauty

_**Disclaimer: Don't anything, nothing, nada, nihill! **_

**_A/N: Here's chapter 4! I'm very happy with the response I'm getting but guys even though Alerts are very nice to get, I'd love to hear from you guys. Even a silly little Sweet! Or JUK! Is good! Well I hope the former of course but still! Anyway, still I'm happy! Thanks to my lovely beta WolfGirl-Addie. Addie you're the bomb! Thank you dear =D Here is chapter 4 =]_**

_The Farthest Thing from Beauty_

"We are allowed to talk you know..." Paul said to me. I looked up from my sketch. There was a smile on his beautiful face and I couldn't help but smile myself.

"I know." I replied. "What do you want to talk about?" He shrugged casually but stayed in his current positions. Like that I could see his face very well and I could capture it on canvas.

"I don't know something random?" His dark eyes stood careful but the smile on his face told me otherwise. He casually leaned back again and I sighed looking at him exasperated.

"Paul, stop moving! Or else I'll ruin the sketch." I scolded. Paul laughed and other students looked in our way, wondering what was so amusing. I scowled once again but I couldn't help but keep the smile from my face. That's how it always was. Every time I was near Paul I would be gloating like a light bulb, I couldn't help it. It was out of my power to control it.

"I don't think you can ruin the sketch, Jules." He said casually. I raised my eyes back to him and gave him a pointed look. Of course I can. I wanted to say that but my mind was stuck on the other thing he said. _Jules... _I'm not entirely used to him calling me Jules. But I suppose I can get used to that. I'm even looking forward to getting used to that.

Till now, things were going quite easily actually. Paul was being nice, and he hasn't said any stupid things, yet. But of course I haven't either but I'm sure that won't last long. With Paul I manage to make an utter fool of myself, or at least, most of the time. Yesterday for example, he knocked a door in my head, but that was partly my fault too. I was running and not looking, which I shouldn't do.

"Which by the way, reminds me, do you mind if I come by so you can show me your stuff?" My heart stopped beating right there and then. Wait a second, Paul coming by? To see me, or more likely my sketches but still it counts! But the most important thing of all was it a date?

"My stuff...?" My voice was higher than I would like. Paul nodded.

"Yeah, I'd like to see what you work on when you're covered in paint." I blushed at that. It was true, I was often covered in paint or at least, my face was. How I got paint there? I never knew. I just know that when I begin painting I'm still clean but when I'm done my face is full of paint splats.

"Don't blush. It's kind of cute actually." The way he expressed himself, it almost seemed easy for him. Like it was his second nature... He must hang out with his sister a lot.

"Stop it." I hissed. He was making me very awkward. I continued drawing him and as I added the finishing touch I couldn't help but look forward to him sketching me. I wonder if he's a good artist.

"I'm done." I said and I got up. He hopped off the table he was sitting on and took the piece of paper out of my hands and looked at it. I always hated this moment. When people would see my things, it would always scare me because I wasn't sure whether they would like it or not. Because I'm not that extraordinary or something, I'm just different when I paint.

"This is great Jules." Paul said. I looked up at him and realized that his words were genuine. I was kind of surprised actually.

"I don't know!" I said insecurely. "I couldn't quite get your cheekbones the right way because you were talking."

"Jules, come off it! This is amazing." Paul exclaimed. He looked at me and then blushed. Wait! Did Paul just blush? Or maybe he didn't. No he did, his cheeks are a bit red. It's hard to see if a Quileute boy blushes because of their skin tone. I quickly took the sketch out of his hands again and handed it over to Miss Delevan who looked at the sketch approvingly.

"Good job Julie. You'll get it back next week, grade and all." I nodded and walked back to the table where Paul was sitting.

"It's your turn now." I said nudging him slightly in the ribs. Paul gave me a nervous grin but sat down opposite me and grabbed a pencil.

"I'm warning you though. I'm very bad at drawing!" He said. He looked so serious I couldn't help but think he was lying.

"Sure you are Paul." I teased. "Come on. Show me your skills."

"Your funeral..." He muttered and I rolled my eyes at his insecurity. It's not like Paul to actually be this insecure. Most of the time his ego was impossible to deflate but somehow he seemed different around me.

"What's your favourite colour?" Paul asked suddenly, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yellow." I said thoughtfully. "I like it because that colour isn't quite common here. What is yours?"

"Brown," He said looking straight in to my eyes. Could it be that he meant my eyes? I shrugged that thought out of my mind.

"How come...?" I asked casually hoping my nerve wouldn't show. I really wondered what he could possibly mean by that.

"It's captivating." He said, mostly to himself. I knew it was corny but I couldn't help but say:

"Is it because of my eyes?" The moment I blurted that out both Paul and I got red. And I mean real _red_. For once Brady didn't bring us in such an awkward position but I did. But his answer surprised me even more.

"Yeah," He ran his hand through his hair and I decided to shut up now. I was only making a fool out of myself.

Minutes went by and Paul was working hard on the sketch. He was taking even longer than I was. I looked at the clock in the corner of the classroom and saw that we only had ten minutes left before the bell would ring. My eyes roamed over the class and I saw Kim drawing with Jared, obviously. Summer on the other hand was sitting just like me, only she looked very bored. Her eyes found mine and she mouthed a "What the hell" in my way. I shrugged but gave her a smile. She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless.

It's funny to see how things could change in a short span of time. Only a week ago I didn't associate with Paul. In fact, in my eyes he was only the best friend of Jared, my best friend's boyfriend. We barely talked let out communicated in any other way. But things change very fast, because exactly one week later, Paul Matson, has somehow ignited a very odd feeling inside of me. A feeling that's new and I'm not sure what to think about it. But for now I suppose it's alright. Because he's definitely someone I could get used to. In fact, I'm planning to.

"All done," Paul's voice snapped me out of my train of thought. His hand was waving in front of my face and I realized that he was in fact done.

"Oh show me." I said excitedly. I reached out the paper but he held it out of my reach. I looked up at him. "Let me see. Come on."

"No, I don't think you want to see it." Paul said. He was holding the paper behind his back and I hopped off the table reaching behind his back not realized that we were a bit too close for liking. My chin was almost touching his chest and my hands lay limply on his arms, both hands holding his biceps. I promptly let go of him and we both took a step backwards creating space. Suddenly I saw the chance to grab the sketch and I quickly snatched it out of his hand walking to Miss Delevan immediately. He had caught up with me in a few long strides.

"This is… interesting." I said trying hard not to laugh. Apparently Paul had a flaw. He wasn't a very good artist. In fact, he couldn't draw at all.

"Yeah I know." Paul said, his playing demeanour coming back again. "I didn't manage to capture an ounce of your beauty."

"Oh stop it." I said feeling very uncomfortable but not entirely ill at ease. I was the farthest thing from beauty. I wasn't really insecure about my looks, I prefer being called modest but I knew that my appearance wasn't always my strongest side.

"No it's true." He said. I looked at my feet and tried to make the smile evaporate. I couldn't think when Paul said things like that. I felt like mush.

"Um, I think you should give this to Miss Delevan." I said handing him the sketch. He took it and as our hands connected a flash of chemistry went through my hand and I knew he felt it to. He walked to Miss Delavan without a word and in a matter of seconds I realized something I wasn't quite ready for.

"Oh crap." I muttered miserably.

I'm falling for Paul Matson, and there is nothing I can do to prevent that....

**_A/N: So Julie is falling for Paul! Who'd ever thought that? Lol anyway. Review and thank you for reading. You guys are my brand of heroine._**


	5. Each Confession I Make

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Paul, wish I did though!_**

**_A/N: Sorry for the long wait but school was hectic, and it'll only become more hectic. Don't worry though, plotbunnies are forming and I've got quite a few pages written already. So I'll try to update as regularly as possible. Thank you WolfGirl-Addie for betaing this chapter! Here it is:_**

_Each Confession I Make_

Ten days, ten hours and seven minutes. Ten days, ten hours and eight minutes. Ten days, ten hours and nine minutes. Ten days, ten hours and ten minutes. It has been ten days, then hours and now eleven minutes since I last saw Paul. I could go on like this for ever but the result will be the same. He hadn't showed up at school since ten days, ten hours and twelve minutes ago. And I haven't seen him ever since. At first I thought he was sick, but Jared told me he was alright and had some business to take care of. I thought of calling him, believe me. I would sit down in my room look at the phone as if that would make any difference. Truth is; I'm too much of a scary cat to call him. I mean, I bended in every possible way to get his phone number. (I kind of stole Jared's phone and quickly scribbled down Paul's phone number.)

I know it's too soon to say but I kind of miss him. I miss his loud booming personality. His cocky grin, his woodsy scent, his towering height, even the way he eats, even though that's completely outrageous. It makes you wonder if he's brought up with manners at all. But somehow all of these things made school worth while. Normally school would be a drag. Believe me, I'm not the only one that thinks so, but ever since Paul started to give me attention I started to look out to school. I would look twice in the mirror before heading to class. I even started carrying a hair brush to school. Trivial, I know. But I can't help it. I'm completely under his spell.

But since he didn't show up at school for almost a week I started to worry. What if something real bad has happened? These thoughts often occurred but those thoughts were wiped away immediately when I saw him in the grocery store. I was picking up some things for my mother when I saw him walk in with Jared, Jacob, Embry and Quill. They were, like always, caught up in their own activities. None of them noticed me holding the sack of potatoes. I was relieved that there was nothing serious going on. He looked the same like always. Besides his hair though. His short cropped hair, which I was used to, was starting to grow and it was now the perfect length. But everything looked fine. He was active, joking around, punching Jacob on his arm while he returned the favour.

Secretly I was hoping he would see me. So I wouldn't feel obliged to start a conversation, seeing he was always the one that began. I felt like a fool. A teenage fool with a crush, I think I didn't breathe until he was out of the store and out of my sight. That was now ten days, ten hours and thirty-two minutes ago. It's kind of pathetic of me to keep track of his whereabouts and stuff, but it's like my whole brain has adapt to his pattern. I somehow managed to keep track of his classes. My eyes automatically search out for his presence in the cafeteria. It's like the claim he has on me has grown stronger. But I don't mind. Because for the first time in my life I feel like something is worth remembering.

"Jules," Seth's face popped out of nowhere. I gave him a startled look and he chuckled lowly as he plopped down next to me. I was on the beach. I went there often, it felt nice there. To play with the pebbles that had different colours. To let the cold wind blow and hope it would whisk you away. It was my temporary sanctuary.

"Seth." I said solemnly. We didn't say much. I didn't feel like talking. Seth however needed to make small talk ever single moment.

"You do know it's going to rain any minute now?" He said, and I shrugged carelessly.

"Don't care." I muttered and I grasped a pebble in my left hand and threw it in the distance.

"Apparently, or you wouldn't be sitting here." Seth responded in the same chipper tone like always and I gave him a pointed look before I rolled my eyes. Nothing could get him down.

"Seth, can I ask you something?" I began.

"Sure you can Jules." He said looking at me. I wondered how to begin. How could you ask something that's quite personal, and almost secret, in a subtle way so he wouldn't find out? Well let me tell you something, you can't.

"Is it about Paul?" That's what I meant. I started to splutter pathetically and vividly shook my head. His eyes, full of mirth, looked at me amused. "You sure, you're face is telling me otherwise." Seth said pointedly. I looked at him, completely embarrassed. "What about him?" Seth urged. This is what I like about him. I didn't need to ask. He knows. He just does.

"Well, I noticed he wasn't at school for the past couple of days." I began, fiddling with my sleeves nervously. "And seeing that you know him I thought you might know where he is."

"Why the sudden interest...?" He asked reluctantly. I shrugged embarrassed.

"U-um, I just c-couldn't h-help b-but notice. T-that's all." I defended weakly.

"Ah I see." He said casually, a bit too casual. I inched closer to him as the first few drops of rain fell. They soothed my flustered face but the rest of my body was reacting differently to their temperature.

"So, do you know where he is?" I urged.

"I don't know, haven't seen him in a while. Did you try calling him?" I shook my head and got back on my feet again. It was obvious Seth wasn't going to tell me. He didn't know either.

"I think I'm going to head home. The weather looks bad and I think my mother is expecting me home." I said awkwardly. I wondered why the situation turned so easily. It was a first that I felt this way with Seth. It was new and didn't feel right at all.

"I'll walk you home." He said and I shrugged coolly.

"You don't have to." I said weakly. I hated it that I could sound like this. I sounded like this a lot actually, for no reason at all.

"Jules," Seth said exasperated. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." I emphasized.

"Why the sour look? You upset because I didn't tell you about Paul?" Subtle Seth, real subtle...

"Seth, drop it already. It's nothing. Suppose I'm overreacting." I replied. Seth put his arm around my shoulder and brought me a bit closer to him.

"You have a thing for Paul, don't you?" There was no trace of hidden amusement in his voice. It was genuine. Seth was taken aback. I looked at him as I stopped walking. I wouldn't want to risk me falling in the mud. Besides it wasn't raining that hard.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a thing, merely a friendly interaction." I responded as I tried to keep the flustered look down.

"Oh I know. It's called a crush." He teased and he ruffled my hair and he began walking again. I followed him and avoided the mud that lay in front of me.

"No it's not a crush!" I said hotly, obviously disturbed by the thought that he could read me so easily like an open book.

"Julie has a crush! Julie has a crush! Julie has a crush!" Seth teased and I couldn't help but yell at him for being so loud.

"You idiot, no need to yell! Besides it's not true!" I snapped as I hit him on the shoulder.

"Oh really," He said slyly and suddenly he started to run. Oh no! What was he going to do? Think, think, think, no, run, run, run! I clumsily ran behind him, yelling profanities, begging him to stop before he'd do something stupid and regret it. Or more likely made me regret.

"Seth! If you don't stop! I—I'll tell Summer you love her." I yelled at him. He stopped immediately and I couldn't help but notice that he suddenly turned around with an angry look on his face. It even looked like he was shaking slightly. It didn't seem like Seth at all.

"You wouldn't!" He dared. My eyes widened. Seth, why didn't you ever tell? I suspected something, but never this. I never knew his feelings went this deep.

"Seth. I-I didn't mean it. I-I…" I spluttered.

"Look, just forget it." Seth said sourly and suddenly he turned a full 180 degrees and disappeared in the woods. I felt horrible for making him leave like this, but I knew that I should leave him alone for a while now. He'd come when he was ready. But that didn't help keep the guilt away. I felt terrible. I didn't mean to upset him, hell it wasn't my intention at all.

I sighed, troubled and trailed back home, dragging my feet up the three steps in to the living room. I shrugged out of my shoes and dropped them unceremoniously in front of the door before I plopped down on the couch. I heard my mother cook in the kitchen. The smell of baked potatoes filling the whole house.

"Julie is that you?"

Who else? "Yeah." I yelled back. My voice seemed strained.

"How was the beach?" She asked as she came in the living room with a towel in her hands, she looked at me expectantly. I shrugged.

"It was fine." No it wasn't. I made my best friend angry, worst of all, I made Seth angry. That hurts. More than I could bear.

^*^

I felt awful for the past two days. It didn't make things easier when Seth refused to talk to me. At first I understood, I mean I wouldn't want to talk either, but then reality kicked in and I couldn't help but feel angry myself. I'd said I was sorry. It was a mistake and it was supposed to be taken seriously. But apparently Seth thought differently and he avoided me at all cost.

"Seth, listen to me." I cried out as I followed him through the almost empty hallways. He full out ignored me and I stumped my foot frustrated and had to resist the urge to kick a locker. Why wouldn't he listen? It was a question I asked myself often. I slumped down and leaned against the lockers, ignoring the looks students were giving me. Some teachers that passed me by couldn't help but glance in my direction with questions filling their eyes. At least I wasn't the only clueless one.

I pressed my face against my knees as I drawded them close and tried to cut off my surroundings. If he wasn't going to listen I might as well stop trying. The results wouldn't change anyway.

"Apology accepted." I heard. I looked up startled. I hadn't noticed Seth sitting down next to me. In fact I hadn't noticed at all that someone was nearby.

"Seth." I began wanting to tell him everything that troubled me. He shushed me and ruffled my hair brotherly. I loved Seth. I really did. He was like my little brother, irreplaceable.

"Seth, listen. I'm really sorry about what I said. I didn't know. Really, I never meant to hurt you or anything. And I wasn't going to tell Summer. I'd never do that. It's not up to me to say something like that. I'm so, so sorry." I was rambling but I needed to get everything out. Make him understand that I didn't mean anything of it. Seth just nodded amused.

"Jules, you worry too much. I know you'd never do something like that. You're too kind of a person for that. Besides, I'm sorry to. I wasn't rational when I walked away like that. I shouldn't have." I nodded as Seth explained and now I had to ignore the urge to ask him about Summer.

"Spit it out Jules. I know you want to." I smiled sheepishly as Seth looked at me with his eyebrows raised.

"How long have you…" I trailed off. How was I going to put it? "How long have you harboured these feelings for Summer?"

"Well." Seth began. He ran his hand through is short locks and he looked like a lost puppy. It was so cute I couldn't help but resist the urge to hug him. So I settled for leaning against his side in stead.

"I've liked her since you introduced me to her." I gulped. That was almost two years ago.

"Oh Seth," I let out a breath and was completely in awe.

"I know. I'm an idiot for liking her. But it only increased since a few months ago. Then suddenly she was everywhere. I couldn't help but not think of her. She was always on my mind. It was disturbing actually." Seth confessed.

"Does she know?" I asked quietly. I wondered if Summer knew what Seth felt for her. Maybe she did know the little details but not the whole content. If she knew would she accept him? Or would she be the same old Summer?

"She does."

And with that my heart went out for him. Because the chance of Summer confessing her love to him would be just as impossible as the tribe stories.

**_A/N: Review, I know you wanna, make me happy!_**


	6. If Only You'd Seen It

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the ones you don't know. Like you didn't know that?_**

**_A/N: This is quite a quick update and I got nobody else to thank but you my reviewers and my beta WolfGirl-Addie. You're all so amazing thank you so much. You keep this story alive. Anyway, I've got a few questions about Seth and yes it is Seth Clearwater from the pack. To make the story a bit more comprehendable, this is at the END of New Moon and BEFORE Eclipse. I thought that Seth was already a wolf, at least in my story he is, yet he is a newbie. He always liked Summer but when he joined the pack BOOM imprint! So yes, Summer is his imprint and yes she knows. But she has her reasons to act the way she does, so don't hate her! Anyway, I want to give you the ages;_**

**_Julie is 17 soon to be 18, Paul is 18, Summer has just turned 17, Seth is 16, Jared is 18, Kim is 18, Jacob, Quil, Embry they are all 17. Hope I cleared things up now. Anyway, enough with the wait. Here is the chapter. Don't forget to leave a message!_**

_If Only You'd Seen It_

Paul screwed up, royally, enormously. I knew he had a violent nature but he seemed to have it under control. In fact, I haven't seen him fight with anyone in a _very_ long time. And even if he does fight he doesn't beat the bloody pulp out of someone. I've never seen him do that. He's better than that, at least that's what I thought. How wrong I was though. If only you'd seen it. You'd understand what I meant. If Jared and Jacob hadn't pulled him away I wasn't sure what would've happened with Dante Williamson. But if I was honest, I wouldn't care.

Dante Williamson isn't the nicest person on earth. In fact, he is a down right brute. He pesters younger kids, picks on them, he makes seventh graders cry, which is downright awful. He uses his friends, worst of it, they know it and yet they don't mind. Why? I'm not sure. He treats girls like dirt. He even assaulted one girl Lily Waltz, she and her parents moved away. Poor Lily, I knew her. We had some of our classes together. Thank God, Dante and I didn't. But Lily and he did, _obviously._

I never understood why Lily felt attracted to Dante. He's awful, a creep, scary, and he'd crush a person in a single minute. But apparently he can be charming. He only uses that charm with girl and in the beginning he's a darling, but then he meets someone else and he drops the former girl in a second. Only when he did that to Lily, things didn't end well.

I still remember her, all bloody and torn in my living room. She never had real friends and she thought of me as a friend. I thought of her as a friend too and was relieved she trusted me, but sometimes I wished I never knew.

"_Lily." I gasped as__ I dropped my sketchbook on the floor and closed the door in a swift motion. Her dress was torn in several places, her state of nature showing. I shrugged out of my cardigan and quickly wrapped it around her shoulders. I helped her sit down on the couch. I held her hands in mine as she shook. I started to panic. I didn't know how to handle this. I ran to the phone and dialled the number of the person who'd help me._

"_Hello?" _

"_Mom, y__ou have to come." I cried. _

"_What's wrong Julie?" My mother had demanded. She always knew how to handle such a situation, I wish I knew too._

"_Lily's here. But she's bleeding and… T-there's blood mom." I stuttered. The phone was shaking in my hands and I realized that it was me who was causing the shaking._

"_I'm coming honey. Calm down, okay? Take a deep breath... Good girl. I'll be there. Just stay put." I nodded even though I knew she wouldn't see it. I hung up the phone and went back to Lily. Who seemed indifferent to all of it, the only emotion she was radiating was indifference. If it wouldn't be for the shaking I would have doubted she was feeling anything at all._

_I turned on the heating, thinking she was cold. I than ascended the stairs and got the first aid kit for my mother and some blankets and a change of clothes for her to wear. I was merely walking around doing things to calm myself, while I didn't realize that I wasn't he one that needed calming. It was Lily. I could hit myself for being so insensitive. I sat down next to her, not pushing her to speak, knowing she'll do so in her own time. At that moment my mother barged through the door and saw me and Lily. She immediately turned into Nurse Lynam instead of my mother._

_She ordered me to get out of the room, because I was too _emotionally unstable_ or something. She gave me a list to do; half of it was already done. But I still did it. When I came back in the living room Lily was patched up yet the blank look remained. My mother ushered me to sit next to her and as I sat down, Lily began to tell us what happened._

"_He attacked me." My mother was sitting in front of her holding her hands. I sat down next to her with my arm around her shoulder. She shrugged it off casually. She didn't want to be held._

"_Who,__" My mother asked firmly. Not insensitively, just with authority._

"_Dante,__" She whispered. Her voice was starting to break and hot tears spilled over staining her black and blue bruised face, "at first he was just yelling but than suddenly he lost it." Her voice became squeaky. "He started to hit me and he didn't stop. He just didn't stop." I saw my mother squeeze Lily's hand in a gesture for her to continue._

"_D-did he force himself on y-you?" I asked softly, scared to know the answer. She didn't respond though but crawled up in a ball on the couch hugging her knees while crying, rocking herself gently._

"_Julie, call her parents." My mother told me. _

I didn't see her after that. She didn't contact me either. I understood, and I didn't hold it against her. I just wish she had done something about it. Her parents wanted her to press charges, but somehow the case got dismissed and she was labelled as a liar by not only the judge but also by him and his friends. She refused to stay in La Push and the next day they were gone.

It was strange seeing Dante at school, acting all innocent. Fooling around like nothing had ever happened. Everyone eventually forgot about Lily and soon she became nothing but a memory, hidden in the back of everyone's mind. Nobody brought it up, scared of what Dante would do.

Everyone also knows that Paul Matson and Dante Williamson are bad boys. They always stayed away from each other. Not wanting to provoke any kind of trouble. But today hell was out. I guess that it was supposed to happen eventually. They would butt heads sometime but it never got out of hand like this. Their friends made sure of that.

"Jules, my dear," Seth joked and I punched his arm feigning anger. He rolled his eyes and caught up with me as I continued my walk to the cafeteria. Paul was back. Apparently, it was all over the school, every girl whispering his name. The teachers glancing in disapproval as he walked in class... Late.

"Paul's back." Seth said casually. I shrugged. I didn't ask where he was. I didn't even greet him. I didn't know why, because I was worried sick for days. Or maybe not worried sick, but I was concerned and for him to brush by me that easily did kind of hurt me. I expected him to come to me. But maybe I was asking a bit too much. We weren't that close. And he didn't owe me anything.

"Aren't you going to say hello?" Seth pressed. I raised my eyebrows at him and he got the hint and subtly shut up.

"Why would she?" I heard Summer say. Her voice was filled with indignation and she looked at Seth like you would at dogs shit.

"Did I ask you something Summer?" Seth said loftily. He didn't seem bothered by her and I suppose that it irritated Summer. She felt mocked and threatened by him and that's why she always picked a fight with him.

"You didn't have to, I chose to react anyways." Summer responded. I rolled my eyes and walked to the cafeteria, them trailing behind me. I looked around till I saw the table I wanted to see. Jared and Kim were there. So were Brady, Jacob, Quill, Embry and Paul, _of course_. I rolled my eyes again but decided to sit with them anyways. I always sat there and I wasn't going to change that just because Paul ignored me.

"Hey you guys." I said faking a smile. Never knew that smiles could hurt.

"Jules," Brady said happily. Paul looked up at me and for the first time that day I noticed how tired he looked. In fact, everyone looked tired. But Paul's eyes stuck out. Maybe I was too judgemental.

"Julie." Jared nodded and he patted the empty seat next to him. It was the one next to Paul. Who cares? I sat down next to him. He gave me a smile and I felt butterflies fill my stomach and I opened my mouth to say something. Someone else cut me of though.

"For once Summer _shut up_!" Seth hissed. I looked up quickly when I heard it and to my utter astonishment Summer paled. But it was no match against Seth. He was angry and he seemed hurt. "You have no idea what I'm feeling so don't try to act like you do know. Just because you're so freaking confused about your feelings don't doubt mine. It would be a big mistake, but I assume it's not your first mistake. You're so focused on your life you're not seeing that you're not the only one affected by it. And quite frankly, I'm sick of it. In fact, I'm sick of _you_." He continued pointing his finger at her.

"Seth." I cried out loudly. But it was too late, the damaged already done and before I knew there was a loud echo, the echo of Summer slapping Seth.

"I didn't choose this you know." Summer's voice broke. I realized that they were making quite a scene and every student in the cafeteria was looking at them. Tears were in her eyes and she didn't bother brushing them away, or hiding them.

"Neither did I," Seth whispered. Summer let out a sob and spun on her heel, leaving Seth behind. Everything was quiet for a while but soon the whispers began again. This time Seth and Summer holding their attention, I didn't understand the meaning of their secret words. I thought I was the only one, but if I had looked around that day, I would be ready for a surprise. I was too focused on something else though, and that was Seth. He plopped down in the seat next to Brady who patted his shoulder in a friendly matter.

"You shouldn't have." Kim said. Her voice was holding anger and I couldn't help but feel bad for Seth. I felt bad for Summer too; she never reacted like this before. It was always yelling, she never let her guard down until today.

"Kim, leave it," I replied. Seth just groaned and got up, leaving too. Kim turned to me, fire in her eyes.

"Didn't you see what happened?" She demanded. I winced at her tone but felt my own anger bubble beneath the surface. I _did_ see it. But I also know more about it than she does.

"I did see it Kim. Seeing it was quite hard not to." I said. Jared shifted uneasily hearing our tones.

"Guys leave it." Paul begged rubbing the palm of his hand against his forehead. He looked extremely aggravated.

Kim huffed and turned her back on me, I raised my hands in anger before I slammed it on the table. I hated it when Kim acted like this. All high and mighty, thinking she knew the answer to every freaking thing. It annoyed the shit out of me.

"I'm going to get something to eat. And Kim, when you decide to get off your high and mighty horse, let me know." I sneered and I walked over to the salad bar.

I thought I heard Jacob mutter something like "Ouch," and a slap. That must've been Jared; he was always a sap when it came to Kim.

"That was quite a show." Paul's voice shook me out of my thoughts and I craned my neck to look at him. He was wearing a dark blue polo with dark jeans. His hair, which was adorable to look at, was in a messy disarray. It looked like he put his hand through his hair one to many times.

"You can say that." I muttered as I filled my plate with different kinds of vegetables, cucumber, tomatoes, lettuce, something else? Yes. I was thinking about ridiculous things like lettuce when Paul nudged me slowly.

"What." I hissed, completely disorientated.

"You're pouring water in your salad." He pointed out, if not confused. Shit. I didn't realize that my glass was on the other side of my plate. Ugh. Could this day get any worse? I blushed and tried to fix the mess. But it wasn't very fond of me fixing it anyways.

"Don't let Kim bother you, or Summer and Seth. They'll work things out. It's just a matter of time till they'll both combust. I think that'll be a bigger problem than what's going on now." Paul said, trying to offer some comfort. I felt his hand on the small of back and I shrugged, feeling ridiculous tears fill my eyes. Oh gosh, now I'm crying in front of Paul. _Paul._

"Ugh, don't mind me." I replied embarrassed wiping tears away hoping nobody noticed.

"Are you crying?" Paul's tone was almost hilarious. "Shit, I didn't mean to make you cry, Jules. Oh crap, come on." He was apparently not very good with weeping women. Who could blame him; it felt awkward when someone cried.

"It's alright Paul. I'm fine now." He gave me an uncertain smile like he didn't entirely believe me. It was endearing actually. Who'd ever think that he was afraid of crying women? I mean, he's not really a playboy or anything, but he had had his fair shares of girlfriends. He ended it with all of them. That caused a lot of tears, and he quite understood then. Not to mention that his girlfriends were drama queens.

"I think I should go to Summer." I confessed to Paul. He leant against the pillar next to the salad bar as I took a new plate.

"Why?" He asked, seeming genuinely surprised. Guys, they never really understood the meaning of comfort. They always linked it with protection while comfort provides more safety that physical protection.

"She's upset." I stated, "and I'm her friend, she's not that good handling situation that scare her that well." Paul nodded thoughtfully. I smiled at the cuteness. Sometimes I just wanted to hug him.

"I'll be back. Okay?" I said as I took an impulsive decision.

"Sure." Paul said, thoroughly confused.

"Guys," I mumbled, shaking my head.

**^*^**

"Summer," It was obvious she was here. I could hear her cry. I sat down next to her in the empty seat. I knew that she loved this place. Summer was a bright girl when it came to academics. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder not saying anything.

"I'm sorry." Summer apologized. I was surprised. The first time she actually felt regret for her behaviour. I had tried not to judge her when Seth had told me that Summer knew about his feelings. Because it wasn't my place, yet there were moments when I couldn't help it. But now I understand that this whole situation isn't just revolving around Seth and the things Summer is doing wrong. It's about Seth _and _Summer who're both in a current condition where at a loss what to do. I realized that I didn't know Summer's side of the story, and that I didn't even bother. Maybe that's where I went wrong.

"It's alright Sum. It's alright." I mumbled hugging her as she collapsed in tears again. Who would say that teenage life isn't hard after seeing this? In fact, I'd dare someone to say that being a teenager isn't hard; you'd be surprised if you found out, because it's the most awkward and for some terrible time of your life. Look at Summer and Seth, they're feeling like this, a bundle of emotions, for a long time, a really _long_ time.

"I'm fine now." Summer muttered. "I just want to go back and hope this day will over soon."

"You sure," I asked uncertainly. Doubt filled my voice, not to mention my gut.

"Dead sure," She responded and she quickly wiped away the tears that would betray her emotions. Summer was strong, a lot stronger that I'd expect, and hells of a lot stronger than others give her credit for.

We both left the class room Summer was hiding in and went back to the cafeteria. It's unbelievable that only twenty minutes had passed by, while it felt like forever. We were both laughing again when we entered the cafeteria when the scene there caught me. When I told you that Paul had different sides and that I've only seen one side, the nice one, you'd be surprised that his other side contradicted the first one.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked. Summer shrugged but looked around to find a familiar face. I than saw a flicker of moving limbs, one certain limb caught my attention.

"Oh my God," I muttered. Before I knew, I had made my way through the crowd and I stood right in front of the scene. Paul Matson and Dante Williamson were fighting, and it sure didn't look like a little friendly interaction. Paul was taller than Dante but less broad. Paul was what you would call tall and lean, while Dante was one and all buff. If I would be honest I thought that Dante had won when he had Paul pinned against the wall. Paul's nose was bleeding and he had a cut on his forehead that was bleeding profusely. While Dante had a black eye and his jaw seemed a bit off center. His lip was split and his shirt was torn. But Paul surprised both Dante and me when he turned the tables and pushed Dante against the wall letting his fist snap against his face. I thought I heard another crack. I winced and before I knew what I had done, I had stormed towards the fighting pair while I heard several people call my name.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it damn it!!" My chest heaved with the intensity of my scream, the only one affected was Paul and seeing he had the upper hand, one look in my direction was enough for him to stop. He dropped Dante who looked all bloody and gory. Paul didn't look much better but at least he was still on his feet.

Dante's pathetic friends got him back on his feet and helped him support him, soon it wasn't needed anymore. Paul pointed his finger at Dante and for the first time in my life I wasn't sure who to be more scared of. Dante or Paul?

"Why'd you stop?" Dante taunted. Paul didn't flinch.

"You're lucky she's here. Or else you're family would have to scratch you from the floor." Dante just chuckled at the threat. I knew that Paul was serious and I think that somewhere deep down Dante knew that to because he stopped laughing and shook off his friends and moved to Paul. Paul immediately grabbed me by my arm and pulled me behind him. I hadn't realized that I was standing so close to the whole thing.

"Protective aren't we?" Dante whispered so only Paul and I could hear him.

"Shut up." I muttered angrily. The whole thing with Lily was coming up when I saw his bloody face. It reminded me of Lily's face, which was all bloody to when I saw her in my house; I suppose what comes around goes around.

"Jules not now," Paul growled. I scowled and moved myself in between the two boys.

"Don't think I don't know what you did to Lily." I replied, angry. His expression turned from confusion, than recognition and then ultimately to amusement.

"Lily? You mean Lily Waltz? Oh honey you know nothing about that. She was lying from day one. She even moved away because everyone knew she lied. So if you think that's threatening, think again sweetheart." He moved closer and I immediately took one step back to even the score again.

"Liar? You're the liar here." I gritted out. "Just because you managed to wiggle yourself out of the whole situation doesn't mean that you're free from charges."

"The judge thought so." He responded.

"Well they thought wrong. The only reason that the whole case was dismissed because I didn't testify, I wished I did though. You were supposed to be locked up months ago." Dante's anger was blazing in his eyes and I realized I was in it. But somehow I didn't regret it. It felt good to put the truth on the table and it was time that he saw how I thought about it.

"She got what she deserved. I'm thinking giving you the same treatment." He whispered. I felt Paul's anger and before I knew he had pushed me out of the way and he had Dante pinned to the wall again.

"Is that a threat?" Paul gritted out.

The next thing that Dante said scared me out of my wits. It made me question my whole interference in the first place. It made me wonder if I shouldn't have told him about my knowledge. Because honestly, what good would it do?

"It's a promise." Dante replied and his dark eyes were focused on me...

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	7. A World Made Of Angry People

**_Disclaimer: There's nothing I own. You'd think all of you would know by now!_**

**_A/N: I'm updating second time this week! Woohoo! Thank you for all the reviews. Keep going on like this, seriously, you guys make me write even more than planned. And I've got plotbunnies run around in my head. I love it! Thank you so much for all of your support!_**

_A World Made of Angry People_

Everything happened so quickly, Jared and Jacob had appeared out of nowhere grabbing Paul and pulling him away from Dante, who dropped to the floor unceremoniously. Paul didn't struggle but I did see he was shaking, quivering actually, and he was taken from the cafeteria while I just stood there. I wasn't quite aware of Summer and Kim pulling me away from the whole scene until I felt the wind blow on my face. Then did I realize that I was outside.

I've never been threatened before, and I wasn't sure how to react to all of this. One side told me to ignore everything and let it go and just act like it was a normal day, the other side told me to panic while another part of me told me to think rationally. If I'm honest; panicking sounds better than all the other things, even though I knew I should think rationally.

I know that Dante is serious, but I inflicted it all on myself. If I had just kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be in this situation the in the first place, but I have the tendency to always realize these things when all is done and has happened. Then I mostly panic, but none of the situation had ended up in a physical fight. I also knew that Paul was screwed. If the principal finds out, which he will, there'll be hell to pay. I understand Paul isn't the only one to blame believe me. But the thing is; I'm scared now.

Scared for Paul, that I've dragged him into something he wasn't involved in, and that I had forced him to show me the side I never wanted to see. When I had told Dante; that I had wished that I had testified against him so he would be locked up, I did mean it. He had destroyed Lily's life and not to mention he left a mark on mine. I know that the whole thing isn't about me, but I was indirectly involved. I've seen, first handed, the result of Dante's anger. I know what he is capable of.

"Oh God what have I done?" I moaned, as I hid my face in my hands. I felt someone shake my shoulders. I didn't react until someone gently pulled my hands away from my face.

"Julie. I need you to tell me something important," Paul's voice sounded urgent and I forced myself to look in his eyes. His nose wasn't bleeding anymore and neither was the cut on his forehead.

"I'm so sorry Paul," I said tears blurring my vision; "I didn't mean to drag you into this. I just never meant to say those things to him. But I couldn't help myself. If-If you kn-knew w-what he d-did to Lily." I started to lash out in anger and kicked the bench that was next to me.

"Hey, calm down." Paul soothed. For someone who wasn't good with crying women he was sure as hell good with angry people. Maybe he recognised something.

"No you don't understand." I cried out in frustration. How could I tell him that I put him at risk? Well you don't tell anyone that. You try to fix these things before that person finds out, and that's what I'm going to do; I'm going to fix it. I just need to find out how.

"Make me understand." Paul responded grabbing hold of my shoulders. The anger replaced it self with exhaustion and desperation. I let myself be lead to the bench and sat down.

"I can't tell you." I muttered. "I don't want to."

Paul looked hurt, but at least I was honest and didn't beat around the bush, but Paul also didn't give up that easily. Something he had proved over and over again.

"Why not, is it about trust?" He asked as he crouched in front of me. I shook my head.

"No, not trust. I just don't want to." Suddenly Paul lashed out again. I swear that the guy is bipolar, or at least P.M..

"Damn it Jules, didn't I prove to you just now that you can trust me?" He yelled. I got up angry for making such a stupid assumption. He didn't know anything.

"Punching someone and forcing him to back off isn't really a way to gain someone's trust, Paul!" I fired back. Why didn't he see that it didn't involve him but it was all me, why don't men see that?

"That's rich coming from you, Julie! If you had kept your mouth shut in the first place, he'd known his place, but again you seem to screw things up!" He responded. His voice was raised and one of his hands was shaking. I wondered why he was shaking, was it because of the cold, or anger?

"What is that supposed to mean, you're saying that I can't do things right? Is that it?" I yelled back. I hadn't realized that I had raised my hand and had lashed out again, only this time I hit him in the chest. He didn't flinch; in fact he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm trying to understand Julie. I'm trying really hard, but if you're not going to tell me, I'm seriously not going to bother. It's not worth it! _You're_ not worth it." He spat and he turned around leaving me alone with Summer and Kim, who had watched the whole scene in silence.

To say that I was hurt was an understatement. I was devastated, when he told me that I wasn't worth it, I felt betrayed. Paul was the one guy I was ready to fall for, hell, I've already fallen for him, and him telling me that I'm not worth it can be taken in so many different ways, one of them more painful than the other.

I hadn't realized that it had begun to rain, and that I was positively drenched, but I didn't care for that. I took my bag out of Kim's hands and walked to my car. I took out the keys and quickly started the engine. I wasn't staying there when Paul practically rejected me in public.

I was such an idiot, an idiot to think that Paul would really be different then other guys. You see; he may be different then other boys, but when it comes to it they'll drop you. I mean; I understand his resentment at the time, his aggravation is justified but he shouldn't have said that I wasn't worth it, because he has no idea what those words mean. How much they hurt me...

It's different when my father said those words, because I've grown immune to it, but when someone, a certain person you've grown to trust says those words; it's like being stabbed in the back, and I was stabbed, the knife was still there and he was still twisting it.

As I made a turn, I unconsciously slammed my fist on the steering wheel. I suppose my hand is bruised by now. I didn't bother to check. Paul's words just echoed in my head continuously, like a prayer.

As I unconsciously made the car run faster, I saw a blur of grey. It was fast, I squinted my eyes and saw it in front of my car, I stepped on the brakes. The screeching sound was heard from my car and I turned the wheel to the right as my car came to a stop. I was surprised I managed to avoid the grey wolf that had appeared in front of my car so quickly. I didn't see it in the first place...

For a few seconds, the only thing that could be heard was my heavy breathing as I clutched my chest, hoping to keep my heart inside my ribcage. I looked at my watch and saw that it was only ten past one. The day had only just really started and I've made a mess of it already.

It must be a gift I suppose.

**^*^**

The next day at school was hell. No, that's an understatement. It was so much more. I hadn't seen Dante Williamson yet, but neither had I seen Paul. So maybe they were suspended but those happy thoughts were banned the second I saw Dante with his friends in the cafeteria. His black eye had worsened and I couldn't help but feel smug about it. I was glad he hadn't seen me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

"Julie." I heard a familiar voice and when I looked up it was Seth. He had a worried expression as he approached me. Before I knew it he had me in a bear hug, practically making it impossible for me to breathe.

"Can't breathe," I choked and he immediately loosened his hold on me. He kept his arms around me though.

"Are you alright? Jared told me what happened. I can't believe it, are you alright? He didn't touch you or anything, did he? I'm going to kill him! You just wait here, I'll punch-" Seth growled as he started to rant.

"Seth." I interrupted. I'd rather not hear the tail of that sentence. I'm sure my breakfast would come right out and I'd rather keep all of that down.

"Sorry." Seth apologized, but the murderous expression was still in his eyes, and it was enough to make me recall the events of yesterday. I hadn't slept well that night, thoughts of Paul and Dante were haunting me, and by the time I managed to fall a sleep, a nightmare, woke me up, I won't tell you what happened in that dream because it's like repeating the same thing over and over again.

Suddenly tears started to blur my eyes. Then they came and spilled over, staining my cheeks. I hated the fact that I was so overly sensitive, but somehow it seemed appropriate to feel like this. How would you feel, if someone who practically ruined your friend's life threatens to give you the same treatment? Well believe me; what I'm feeling is justified.

"Can we talk?" I looked up startled. To my surprise, and I'm sad to say, my dismay, I saw Paul stand next to Seth. He looked at me expectantly, my eyes immediately hardened when seeing him. I gave him a glare while I could see Seth look at Paul and me differently.

"Did something… happen?" Seth asked uncertainly.

"Ask him." I spat, still glaring. Paul's eyes hardened too and I mentally prepared myself for the blow.

"Me? Julie, come on, don't you blame it on me, I saved you, remember? Besides, I'm not the one with trust issues." I gasped at the low blow and I immediately stamped my foot.

"Did she just stamp her foot?" Seth said looking at Paul.

"I can't believe it." I ignored them both. I only had eye for my own problems and it seems that Paul wasn't taking it seriously at all.

"Saving me? I didn't _ask_ to be saved. I don't need your saving," I huffed while I realized that more tears had spilled over and were now staining my cheeks, again. Paul who was taking it all calmly, softened when he saw my tears. He had a weakness it seemed; and it was tears. I wondered if I could abuse it...

"Jules I-" Paul began but I didn't want to listen.

"Don't call me Jules!" I snapped as I brushed away my tears.

"Fine I won't call you Jules then," Paul bit back. Wait... I didn't want that...

"Fine!" I yelled.

"Fine," He yelled back. By this point there were people were staring at us, and to add up more to the drama, I lifted my foot and kicked him in the shins. He hissed and cursed but he didn't _look_ in pain though...

"Guys, time out," Seth interrupted and he looked at me and Paul like we were crazy. "People are starting to stare, and honestly you're scaring me, why the sudden violence?"

"Ask _him_!" I pointed at Paul and suddenly he started to shake and before I knew it he had slammed his fist in the nearby wall. I screamed when I realized what he was doing.

"Dude, stop it!" Seth yelled pulling Paul away and I just stood there while I saw Seth say things to Paul as he tried to calm himself down. I wondered if I went too far, sometimes I don't know what I'm doing and I cross a line. I didn't mean to though, it just happened.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly when they returned again.

"You know, you're mood swings are giving me a whiplash," Paul answered honestly. I knew it was coming, but I bit my tongue so I wouldn't respond. I tugged at his arm and looked at his hand. It was a bit red and bruised, but that was it. I gently ran my fingers over his warm hand and apologized when he winced.

"Sorry." I said truthfully.

"Me too, I didn't mean what I said yesterday. I wasn't thinking," He said. I shrugged, because I didn't feel sorry for what _I _did yesterday. It felt right at that point and I may have regretted my interference but I did feel like I should've said something.

"It's okay. We all say things we don't mean." I responded.

"True, but I may have taken it slightly too far. It wasn't my intention to hurt you, really. It's just..." Paul trailed off.

"I can be frustrating? I know that," I finished. Paul gave me a dazzling smile and suddenly he took his warm hand in mine. I immediately warmed up from the inside.

"Friends," He offered, I managed to hide my disappointment.

"Friends," I stated and I smiled back at him ignoring the little pang in my heart.

"Both of you are so strange." I heard Seth mumble as he took off in the other direction. I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms looking at Paul expectantly.

"You know. Fighting you is fun," Paul suddenly said. I raised my eyebrows in disbelieve. Was he kidding?

"Why," I asked. Why was that fun? I hated it.

"You're reaction is always so predictable," I gasped at the obvious insult and I raised my hand to punch his arm.

"See," He pointed out and the only thing I could do at that moment was stick out my tongue. I was glad we had settled our differences because fighting Paul wasn't something I was planning to do in the future though I knew it was inevitable. Fighting Paul was so easy, and somewhere deep down inside I did like it that he was so responsive to everything I said. It was almost like he really cared.

We were one of the last who trailed into our history class; a hand prevented me from going inside. I gasped at the sudden movement, and took a step backwards right into Paul's chest. I felt his muscles tense at the sudden connection and as I trailed the arm, I realized that it was the one person I didn't want to see, Dante Williamson.

"What do you want?" I gasped. He looked at me with anger in his dark eyes. His eyes were so different from Paul's. His were warm, and I could easily drown in them, but it was like Dante didn't have an ounce warmth in him. He was rotten right through the core.

"A talk," He growled and before I knew it, he had his hand wrapped around my wrist yanking me away from Paul. I slammed into the wall, and I started to panic. I raised my foot, for the second time today, and slammed my heel into his foot, he let me go. Paul pulled me away from him; I managed to fall on the floor, _of course!_ I silently pleaded for him to not make a scene right in front of a classroom while there was a teacher. They managed to escape the last time, but that didn't mean they would be so lucky this time.

"Gentlemen," I never thought I'd be so happy to hear a teacher's voice "Is there a problem?" Mr Lewis continued as Paul moved away from Dante, back to my side. He pulled me back to my feet and I was astounded at his strength. I wasn't a skinny girl, wasn't fat either, but he seemed to pull all my, 135 pounds, up in a single motion.

"No nothing, sir," I said quietly while I tried to drag Paul to the back of the classroom. He, reluctantly, let me pull him in, and as I ignored whatever Mr Lewis was saying to Dante, I found a seat to sit down. Paul plopped down on the seat next to me and he put his hands on his table. I reached over and put one hand over his.

"Don't worry, he's just angry," I don't think I've ever said something so inadequate. He gave me a long stare, and I couldn't help but feel stupid. I pulled away my hand, but when Paul took it back, I wondered if the whole thing between us was platonic...

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	8. In Which We Cry

_**Disclaimer: Like you don't know it, but still. I don't own anything, yada yada yada!**_

**_A/N: Thank you for the support for the past chapter, I was so glad that all of you liked it! But let's crick up the amount of reviews. I know you can do it! This chapter by the way isn't betaed, but I couldn't help myself not posting it! So I hope you won't mind the mistakes, and I'll hope my great beta will send back the betaed version! Anyway, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think in a review! _**

**_P.S I wanted to ask you guys something but I forgot what it was! Hmmm..._**

_In Which We Cry_

"Julie why are all of your things here?" I heard my dad yell. I winced inwardly and moved to the living room where he was sitting on the couch with my mother next to him. He was pointing at the sketch books that were littered all around the room. I shrugged and moved forward to pick them up.

"What did I tell you about keeping your things here? You have a room, why can't you leave all your things there?" He asked. I shrugged at my dad, I wasn't in the mood to make things more troubled. I had enough problems and the way things were going with my dad weren't really helpful.

"Well? Julie, I'm talking to you." My dad bellowed. He had a loud voice, it was natural, but when he yells it all intensifies.

"Well it's my house to, you know." I responded and I could feel my mothers angry eye on me. I met my dad's glance and it was murderous. Which wasn't new at all, you can say I was used to it.

"You're ungrateful Julie. Just so you know, you're big mouth is going to get you in trouble one day, mark my words girl." I rolled my eyes at that threat. I picked up my last sketch book and moved out of my room back in to my room.

I was glad my dad was one of the top surgeons in Forks. It meant that he spend a lot of time in the hospital and went to these kind of conferences in New York and other big cities. It meant he wasn't home a lot and I loved that. He may be my dad in blood but he sure doesn't treat me as his daughter. At first I blamed myself, it all started when I became older, suddenly I wasn't his little girl and he started to treat me like I was ungrateful. Which I wasn't. Honestly

But in his eyes I could only do bad things. He was so focused on the things I couldn't do that he forgot that I had things that I was capable of doing. But it still made no difference and after a while I stopped trying to please him. Because why should I even bother? He didn't, he doesn't care that my grades are quite good. At least I think so. He doesn't care that I like Art so much. He doesn't care at all.

He of course does mind who I hang out with. He absolutely hates boys, except Seth and he's still a bit mean to him. He thinks that they only want one thing. And I suppose you know what that would be, right? Well, it wouldn't be so bad, because a lot of other fathers have the same opinion. But they _love_ their daughters. I'm not sure if he loves me. Because I never heard him say that once, not even to my mother.

My mother of course adores him. She always had, no matter how he treated her; she was so kind towards him. He never saw that she gives him so much more credit than he deserves. He may be an accomplished surgeon, he failed as a father. And I think that's the worst name a man can over come.

But of course he doesn't care, because everybody else has to adjust to his ideas, if not, there'll be hell to pay. I just wish my mother saw the man he really was. But she loves the man so much she forgot that she had a daughter that suffered. I love my mother. I really do. But when it comes to her husband or her daughter she'd choose her husband over and over again. Because she really thinks she's happy with him.

I just wish she knew how I was suffering. I know I'm being very self-centred but the thing is, I'm allowed to. I'm jealous of Kim and Summer. Kim's mother died a few years ago of breast cancer. It completely destroyed Kim and her father Timothy Sudol. But the bond between father daughter strengthened so much that he became a mother and a father to Kim. She never complained once.

Summer of course has the loving family of four. She got her little brother by one year Brady. Her parents Dean and Hannah are one of the most loving parents I've ever seen. They support their children in everything they do and that's completely the opposite what my parents do. My mother likes that I paint a lot, but she never says something, while my dad on the other hand completely ignores it unless he finds something that bothers him.

Of course you have Seth to. He lost his father a few months ago and it completely tore him, his sister Leah and his mother Sue down. But they made it through, they're holding up and I can't believe it that they're still a family. I think Leah had the most trouble with pulling through. After the whole thing with her ex boyfriend Sam, her father's death really broke her down. And she turned bitter.

I put down my sketch books on my desk and I closed to door while I turned on the radio. I heard the familiar tune of Fallin' Apart. The All-American Reject. I loved the band, slightly whiny but I liked it anyways. I lay down on my bed as I heard the familiar drizzle of the rain. It was almost hypnotising. If you've lived with rain all your life you'll start to hear the beauty of rain. I like rain, of course, I like it less when I'm outside but it doesn't bother me as much it does others.

It's soothing and the constant raindrops that tickle the window can put you to bed, sometimes it even sounds like a lullaby. I decided it was time to get to bed, I hadn't slept well the past few nights and the thing with Dante of course didn't help. I was glad I had Paul. Funny enough, Dante stays away when Paul is with me. I like it, it's nice and I got an excuse to keep Paul with me the whole time.

I'm not sure why Paul is doing it. I don't mind of course but I'd like to know the real catalyst behind his behaviour. It's not like he owes me or something. In fact, we've only been 'real' friends for a short period of time that it's too soon to act all protective. I'm used to Seth's behaviour. And he only turned so protective since a few months or so. It was around the time he had his grow spurt. It was like he was growing every second.

I'd just wish he saw what I would see every time I'd see him.

**^*^**

"Jules, we need to talk." Those words never meant anything good in a relationship. But the thing is, I'm not in one, so when somebody tells me that I have something to worry about. Because these conversations never end up lightly.

"Oh." I nodded and as Paul took my hand in his I tried to follow his long strides to the woods. I never went into the woods. I was afraid of them, especially since those terrifying animal attacks, I made sure to steer clear from them.

"Uh Paul, are you sure we should go there?" I asked, my voice quivering slightly. I suppose he noticed because I saw him give me an uncertain look.

"I think we should." He said, his voice determined. I nodded, because that was the only thing I could do. As I followed him, my hand still in his, I tried to focus fully on the walk and not on the sounds around me.

"Okay, take me back." I exclaimed when I heard a crack behind. I spun on my heel and started to walk in the opposite direction. I only managed a few steps when I felt warm arms wrap themselves around my waist and pick me up. He put me back on my feet again and he gripped me by my shoulders.

"Julie, there's nothing here! Stop overreacting. You really think I'd let something happen to you?" I shook my head mutely, completely engrossed in his eyes. He sighed and rolled his eyes when he saw I wasn't listening. He grabbed my arm and slung me over his shoulder, settling me in away so he was carrying me on his back. I didn't have time to protest, even though I wouldn't, and before I even knew it he had started walking again. With me clutching his neck.

"Why are you so dead set on bringing me into the woods?" I asked. I knew my breath was tickling his ear, but I couldn't resist it. I heard him inhale a sharp breath and I thought I felt him falter in his steps, but if he did, he recovered soon because he was still walking in the same pace.

"I want to show you something." He replied simply.

"You know we're going to get in trouble for skipping class." I pointed out. To be honest, it was the least of my problems. I didn't mind skipping, even though I never did it, unless it was an emergency. Sadly enough, those emergencies never occurred.

"I'm sure we'll survive." He said flatly. I frowned at that and I tightened my grip on his shoulders. I could feel his warmth seep through his clothes. I wasn't sure if it was healthy. Sometimes it would scare me that his temperature was so high, he didn't seem bothered by it though. He avoided it completely after he gave me a lame excuse like; 'it runs in the family'. Some family he must have.

"Are we there yet?" I asked. The silence that had engrossed us had made me aware of our surroundings and it was just the thing that I avoided. Suddenly the trees that were so thick that it completely blocked out our views opened up and I felt like Alice in Wonderland that had walked into the magic garden.

"It's beautiful." Those words seemed far too inadequate for this. We were now standing in front of a meadow which was being lit up by the sun, the little sun we had though, but it was just enough to make this place beautiful. Everything was of course green, but this place made me love the colour green. Somewhere on the east there was a wooden fence with a little white cottage. The cottage was obviously abandoned but it was truly adorable. The tree that stood so tall gave me this particular feeling I couldn't quite identify. It was a sort of longing, a desire, yet the whole emotion was new and in some way quite bittersweet.

"I come here often, to think… to be alone." He added and he startled me with that. I had almost forgotten he was there with me. I turned to him and craned my neck to look at him.

"Thank you for showing this to me." I murmured. Knowing that this was something personal. He took my hand again and we started walking to that same cottage which stood so alone.

"Julie, if I'd ask you something, would you answer honestly?" Paul asked carefully. I nodded, but couldn't shake the feeling it arose.

"Of course, why?"

"I'd like you to tell me about Lily Waltz." Those words shocked me. I didn't want to tell him about that. It was the one thing I wouldn't be able to tell him about. Not because I didn't want to, well partly because I didn't want to, but also because it's not my secret to tell.

"I can't." I murmured, my voice awfully painful. I swallowed painfully and looked at my feet. We had stopped walking and I felt Paul stand in front of me. One of his hand tilting my cheek so I would face him.

"Why not?" He asked. He was being awfully calm. I'd thought he would be angry again, but I suppose that this boy is capable of surprising people. Most of the time me.

"Because it's not my secret to tell." I replied honestly. I pulled my hand out of his and crossed my arms, forcing myself to focus on the tree. It was the only tree in the meadow which was standing on his own. It made me wonder why it was all alone.

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Paul offered. I knew that I never should've interfered in the fight between Paul and Dante. That whole mess brought this upon me. When I finally thought I was able to walk away from that piece of history it came back to bite me in the ass. I should've expected it. I should've prevented it in the first place.

"Yeah, unfortunately we don't know what Lily wouldn't have minded. Because she's not here, is she?" I snapped. Angry tears were filling my eyes again and I cursed loudly for the fact I was so emotional. I hated that, but I couldn't help it. He had crawled under my skin and forced me open up. Unravel every one of my secrets. He wanted to crawl as deep as possible. And he had succeeded.

"Julie, don't be like that. I would help if you talked about it. I'm here to listen." I hate you. I hate you for being so bloody helpful.

"Stop being so freaking understanding Paul. Can't you see that I don't want to talk about it? It's better left unsaid, why can't you see that?" My voice echoed in the quiet meadow and I flinched hearing the volume. Paul however didn't flinch. His own anger got fuelled by mine.

"Stop being such a spoiled brat." He sneered. "You're not the only one that's involved in this now."

"_Yes_ I am. I didn't ask for _you_ to help me." I responded angrily. Which was true by the way. I didn't remember asking him to step in. I could've handled it. Or maybe not, but it's the thought that counts.

"You know, I'm starting to regret it now." He snapped. I placed my hands on my hips as I glared at him. The nerve of the guy.

"Good, you should." I replied.

"Fine."

"Fine." I yelled. His chest was heaving because of his anger and mine was to. Before I knew it he had his arms around me and I was being held close to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I stood on my toes.

"Can we go now?" I asked quietly, my voice muffled by his shirt. The sweet scent it radiated made me weak and I had trouble standing on my feet.

"Sure, come on." He said gruffly.

The walk back was awfully uncomfortable. I suppose it was the tension in the air of our little disagreement. Paul and I fought often, not on purpose of course. We'd just butt heads for the most ridiculous things. Sometimes it was justified, sometimes it wasn't. This time, my anger was completely legitimate. Because I had the right to refuse, I may have dragged him in, not by choice of course, but still. I was allowed to keep him out of that part of my life.

But I also knew that, that part was awfully crucial to me. The whole situation had scared me. And I know it's not even about me and I shouldn't complain because I don't know the amount of pain Lily went through. But still. It marked me and shaped me in the person I am now. I'm not proud of it though, not proud of the fact I let it affect me in a way so it would seem that I was the victim. It wasn't my intention. I didn't mean to. But sometimes these things are inevitable and you take it in like it's a part of your life. I did that. Look what happened?

I don't recommend it.

"You're awfully quiet." I heard Paul say beside me. He wasn't holding my hand anymore. I didn't mind. I hadn't expected something else. I suppose he's still a bit set with me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I wasn't sure if he had heard me because he didn't respond. He didn't even look in my direction. Before I knew it we were standing in front of my house. We had made a silent agreement not to go back to school again.

"Here we are." He replied. Acting like nothing had happened.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked. Wondering if he really was as mad as he appeared to be. Because he sure seemed frustrated. He looked at me and his eyes which had softened so quickly looked like the familiar brown orbs that I had grown to love.

"No, not upset. Mildly frustrated, yes." He gave me a roguish grin and I rolled my eyes. Paul was someone you can trust. That was true, it was something you couldn't deny because he would prove it to you in a split second.

We walked up the three steps and stood in front of the front door. I pulled out my keys and opened the door. I was home alone. When I turned around it had only taken a split second to take my decision. Maybe it was indeed time for me to start talking. Maybe it would help me and make things easier for myself and others. Maybe Paul is just the right person for this.

"Lily was a nice person." I began. I wasn't quite sure why I had started so abruptly. But maybe it was more effective like this.

"I know." Paul said. Sincerity rang in his voice. I looked at him and realized that he was urging for me to continue with what I was saying. I took a deep breath.

"And I think she wouldn't have minded if you knew."

**_A/N: Review and thank you for reading this! _**

**_P.S I remember now: For the ones that forgot the surnames: Julie Lynam, Paul Matson, Kim Sudol, Summer Lott, Brady Lott and Seth Clearwater which all of you of course know! _**


	9. A Reason To Go

_**Disclaimer: Don't own anything! You all know that!**_

**_A/N: First of all I like to apologize for the delay, wasn't planning that even though I've written the upcoming chapters weeks ago. But it seems like my beta is in limbo and is busy! So this chapter isn't betaed either. I hope you guys don't mind and I hope my beta won't be so busy anymore! But I understand it if she's busy! Anyway, second of all, I was a bit disappointed by the lack of feedback for my last chapter, I understand it was a bad one, I thoughts so but it was sort of a filler with no content at all. It sorta flew that way and I couldn't change it! Anyway the next few chapters are hopefully coming out sooner if you guys will review. I know you're reading this because I get the story alerts but there is no review. Believe me, I rather update if you guys reviewed. Anyway, enough ranting, here comes the next chapter! Enjoy._**

_A Reason To Go,_

Paul moved very slowly but maybe that only looked like that way because I felt everything was like a blur. Him moving into the house while I closed the door behind me. Him sitting down on the couch while I plopped down next to him. My voice was horribly monotone, like I wasn't putting any emotion into my words, like it didn't matter. But it did, I may not have showed any emotion but I sure felt it. On the inside everything was on overdrive. My whole mind was spinning and my stomach had formed a knot.

"When her parents came here they took her back home, thinking that my mother had taken care of her. My mother had, but they should've taken her to the hospital immediately. They shouldn't have waited a week. All the evidence was of course washed away and when Lily's parents had persuaded her to press charges they had no prove. The only prove they had, was me finding her and my mother, who had helped her with her injuries." I took a deep breath. I wasn't quite sure what I had told or what not. But somehow it wasn't like my mouth was connected to my brain and so on I kept talking.

"But I didn't testify." I felt terrible when I said this. The whole thing seemed treacherous and I felt like I had betrayed Lily over again.

"Why not?" Paul asked gently. He seemed quite mellow when I looked at him. Careful but still secure.

"Because my parents didn't want me involved with something this dangerous." At this point suddenly everything rushed back. Along with the tears. I inhaled sharply as I felt the betraying tears cling to my cheeks. I brushed them away but they kept coming. I had no control on them whatsoever.

"If only I had testified. At least Dante wouldn't have gotten away but I listened to my parents." I sobbed. "Oh gosh I was so stupid."

I hiccupped as more tears fell. I felt warm arms surround me. I felt like I was being sheltered and I wrapped my own arms around his neck pulling myself closer to him. His warm hands trailed down to the small of my back and settled there. I buried my face in his chest for the second time today and found comfort in his scent that had grown so familiar. It felt right.

"I'm sorry for all this."" I said, putting my hands in the air, motioning the whole situation. I had pulled away and tried to keep the tears away, but it felt like they had a mind of their own. It just kept flowing, I was surprised that it just kept coming, shouldn't I be dehydrated or something?

"It's alright." He mumbled quietly. He hadn't reacted like I had expected, I thought he would be angrier but he seemed a bit, I wasn't quite sure, but it almost looked like he felt defenceless. I wondered what it would mean, because Paul isn't the sorta person that would feel defenceless in the first place.

"I'm not sure." I replied honestly. "I don't feel alright." I shrugged in despair and had to refrain the urge to pull my hair in utter desperation. I felt helpless, what was I going to do to make this all go away? I wasn't sure, what to do. A little voice in my head told me that Paul could help, maybe physically he could keep Dante away but in my mind there is no inner circle to protect me. Because let's face it, I'm the biggest enemy I have and the one person I really should fear is me.

"Maybe you should go." I murmured quietly. I didn't want to hurt Paul but I needed to get away from him, his presence was starting to smother me and right now I wanted space, space to breathe and move freely. I looked at Paul and saw that he didn't look hurt at all, in fact, he looked like he agreed. He bended forward and pressed his lips on the corner of my mouth gently. His lips were practically half an inch away from mine and I could feel the skin he touch tingle and burn. I didn't know what to do and kept my eyes on my hands that were lying limply on my lap.

He didn't say anything, but his gesture meant the world. Sometimes words aren't enough to explain but deeds can do the trick well enough. The moment the door clicked closed the room felt cold. With Paul here it filled up the empty blanks and his warmth radiating throughout the whole room. But today his warmth smothered me and it felt nice to have the cool seep through my clothes. Even though I know I shouldn't let it get to me too badly.

I sighed and decided to move away from the couch and as I ascended the stairs I dragged my feet, never really lifting my heels off the floor. I was glad my parents were away for the week. They were in New York, my dad had a lecture and my mother wanted to go with him so I made the decision for her and told her that I could manage things here at home.

As I moved into my room and opened the door that led to my bathroom I realized that I had to make dinner. Time had passed quickly and it was now six thirty PM. Time with Paul passed quickly and I didn't even notice. I opened the hot tap and the hot water cascaded on my shoulders. The hot water relaxed my muscles and soon I felt mellow again, calm, and somehow collected. But one thing remained the same.

What was I going to do?

***^***

I was always surprised how much noise a few students could make in only a half an hour. Today was no difference. The La Push school wasn't big, an estimated 239 students, including me. Most of the students weren't even in the cafeteria, yet it seemed so crowed. I was glad that everyone sat at the same table every single day.

"Seth, do I look bothered?" Summer said. Her aggravation showing clearly in her voice. I woke up from my reverie and pursed my lips, trying to keep my laughter inside. They were quite amusing today. Somehow they had put aside their differences and were bickering; only it seemed less personal and more amusing. I couldn't help but keep staring at them and I rested my elbows on the table we were sitting at.

"Well, no but-" Seth began. He had a clueless look on his face and was speechless.

"Than stop talking." Summer responded evenly.

"But-"

"No." Summer replied, looking at Seth. She held her small hand up and moved her face away from him. Seth looked befuddled as he constantly tried to say something but Summer was determined and didn't let him talk. Holding one hand up in the air, all high and mighty while the other grabbed a sandwich and she stuffed her mouth.

"Crap." Seth whispered and his shoulders slugged forward. Brady patted him on the back while he rolled his eyes and gave his sister a pointed look. Summer glared at her little brother and huffed before muttering something incoherently.

"So things are going better now?" I looked up startled and almost head butted with Paul who moved away quickly. A smile appeared on my face before I even realized it and I patted the seat next to me excitedly.

Good going Julie, you don't seem desperate at all.

Things hadn't been awkward at all since I told him, not even since the almost-kiss-which-wasn't-really-a-kiss-but-I-still-counted-it-as-one. I wondered how a real kiss would be with Paul, I mean, he must be a good kisser if he can give me butterflies with just looking at me.

As Paul sat down next to me I felt his arm brush mine and I felt the hairs on my neck stand up in anticipation. Gosh, it looked like I was seriously deprived or something, I was constantly reacting to every single thing Paul did. My body automatically responded to his and moved in the same direction when he shifted in his seat. Was that even healthy?

"Jules?" I looked up at Kim who was waving her hands in front of my face. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked at her while a sly smile appeared on her face.

"What?" I asked.

"There's a bonfire this Friday, to celebrate our holiday. You coming?" Next week we had one week off to study for exams but most of the students thought of it as skipping school for a week and not studying. I suppose the school knew as well, I mean how many kids would really study in that week? None, I'll tell you.

"She'll come." Paul stated putting his arm around my shoulder. I felt his woodsy smell and I bit my lip in response. Gosh I was about to combust.

"I will? I-I will." I stuttered. I picked up my bottle of water and took a sip hoping it would bring down the temperature down. I felt extremely flustered and couldn't help but shift my legs and twitch in my seat. Paul either decided not to react or didn't notice. I hoped the latter or else it would be quite awkward for me.

"Good." Kim said and Jared pecked her cheek. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and shifted again, obviously uncomfortable. I decided to take a sip of my water again.

"Whatcha doing Jules? Why are you looking like something crawled up your ass and died?" Jared suddenly said and in shock to what he said I spit out the content of my mouth spitting it all over a grimacing Seth. He glared at me and he looked at his shirt in disgust. I smiled sheepishly and the table erupted in laughter. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and distinctively ignored the burning present of one specific Quileute next to me.

"I need some air." I muttered dragging Summer out of her seat. Summer looked extremely annoyed but let me drag her out of the cafeteria. Kim was following us and as we opened the door the cold wind hit us and I hoped the temperature outside would cool me down. Lord knows I needed it.

"What are you doing Jules? You're acting off." Summer said looking at me.

"I like Paul." I mumbled. Summer gave me one hard stare. Her green eyes narrowed in slits while her dark hair was tucked behind her ears aggressively. She raised her hands in the air and than crossed her arms giving me a silent glare. I didn't understand her behaviour, she seemed quite hostile, I knew she could be distant but never hostile, at least not towards me.

"Guys, what's going on? Why did you run?" Kim's voice rang in the air and I turned to my left seeing Kim running towards us. I smiled and she looked at me expectedly before her gaze settled on Summer.

"What's wrong with her?" Kim demanded. I shrugged wanting to know the answer to.

"Why don't you ask little miss sunshine over here?" Summer said pointing at me. I frowned, her hostile demeanour didn't make any sense and she was getting on my nerves.

"Julie?" Kim asked looking at me.

I rolled my eyes. "I told Summer I like Paul." Kim's reaction was what I was expecting. She started to squeal and before I knew it she had smothered me in a bear hug effectively pushing out every ounce of oxygen I had left in my body.

"I knew it." Kim exclaimed.

"Can't breathe." I choked out. Kim let me go immediately.

"Well I didn't." Summer exclaimed.

"What's your problem?" I wondered. I crossed my arms and looked into her eyes. I knew that I sounded hostile as well but I was merely giving her what she just gave me.

"You know what, never mind, if you're going to make a mistake, go right ahead. But when you get hurt, don't come crying to me." Summer cried out, her anger showing on her face.

"What are you talking about Summer? You're making no sense." I responded.

"I'm talking about Paul, don't act stupid Julie, it doesn't suit you." Summer spat. I narrowed my eyes at her. There was no need to act like a bitch and I voiced that thought.

"Summer, this doesn't sound like you. What's wrong?" Kim asked gently.

"You know what's wrong Kim, and I think it's time that Julie knows to. After all she deserves to know what Paul _truly _is." I frowned. What were they talking about? I couldn't decipher anything about their silly conversation and decided to butt in.

"I don't understand, both of you aren't making any sense. What about Paul?" I demanded forcing myself between them.

"Summer, this doesn't concern you, stay out of their lives." Kim spat looking at Summer with true anger in her eyes. Kim never really got this hyped up during a fight. She would argue for a while but give up eventually. But now she didn't back out.

"Of course it concerns me. Julie is my friend." Summer said.

"Start acting like one and let Paul tell her in his own time." Kim responded.

"Guys! Tell me what?" I urged. The whole situation was starting to get on my nerves and I wanted to know what the whole fight was about? Because I was feeling quite clueless now.

"That Paul isn't what you think he is." Summer responded looking at me. I felt the colour drain out of my face and I could see in my peripheral vision Paul, Jared, Seth and Brady move in our direction. I turned my gaze towards Paul before I turned to Kim and Summer again, who were still arguing.

"What do you mean with that Summer? What don't I know about Paul?" I asked, my voice quivered and I realized that something was going with Paul and that it was really important for me to know. But Kim cut me off before I could even continue asking.

"Summer, for once in your life stop thinking of yourself!" Kim shouted at the top of her lungs. "This isn't about Julie or Paul for that matter but about you and Seth. So drop the whole thing right now! Don't you dare force Julie into making the same mistake you made. Don't you stoop to that level. You made a choice whether you should or you shouldn't react to Seth's feelings and I will simply refuse to let your prejudices corrupt Julie. It's _her_ life and I'm not sure if you realized but she made her choice already and she chose Paul." Kim's breathing was hard and her chest was moving with the intensity of her shouting. Summer had grown pale and she looked at Kim with tears in her eyes and I knew that whatever they were hiding it involved me to, because I was the one that didn't know.

"I'm asking you to walk away." Kim said harshly and before I knew it Summer had made her way past us while she bumped into Kim's shoulder. Her loud footsteps somehow echoed in my ears and as she swiftly passed Seth I didn't miss the twinge of guilt and pain that crossed Seth's face.

"What just happened?" Jared demanded when he saw Kim, who was obviously upset.

"I think you know." I said steadily, looking at Paul.

**_A/N: You know the drill!_**


	10. You Chose Our Division

_**Disclaimer: Don't own anything bla bla bla!**_

**_A/N: Thank you for your reviews but come on guys, let's pick up the pace a bit? Kay? Anyway, I wanted to give you guys another update because I so happy all of you like it! But anyway, let's get my reviews to 100 and i'll update immediately! Kay? Here's the chapter, and I know it's shorter than my other chapters but it seemed better to keep this one shorter! Anyway, we're heading towards a climax! Can someone guess? Anyway, enjoy!:_**

**_Recap:_**

"_What just happened?" Jared demanded when he saw Kim, who was obviously upset._

"_I think you do." I said steadily, looking at Paul._

* * *

_You Chose Our Division_

"What are you talking about?" Paul demanded looking from Kim to me. This whole situation was turning into something drastic. What didn't I know? What didn't I see? It appeared that everyone knew about Paul's secret while I was the only one left in the dark. Was it done on purpose? Or was it accidentally?

"Jules?" Jared's voice rang in the air and filled it with tension. Kim wasn't looking at me or Paul for that matter but cowered into Jared's arm as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders protectively. A sudden edge of anger appeared and I couldn't help but let it show in my voice. What were they playing at?

"Summer just told me something _interesting._" I responded looking at Paul. For once I was glad that his eyes didn't affect me. Not now. Not when I found out that he's hiding something. Something that involved me. But that's not the worst part. Everyone knows. Except me.

"What was that?" Seth asked looking at Kim with slight anger in his eyes. I thought I heard Jared growl at Seth but that wasn't possible. Men don't growl. At least, I think so. I suppose my shock was portrayed in my face because Paul snapped at Seth and Jared.

"Don't you dare." Seth hissed looking at Paul. Paul glared back at him and before I knew my best friend and my possible love interest were practically at each other's throat. Suddenly Paul started to quiver and the tension increased and suddenly I was pulled away from the scene while I saw through the corner of my eye Jared and Brady calm Paul down. Seth just glared at him from a distance but he kept talking. I wished I heard what they were saying; maybe it would clear things out.

"Let me go Kim." I snapped when Kim tried to pull me further away. I pulled my arm out of her hand and she looked at me with a hurt expression. My anger softened but it didn't evaporate and before I knew it my feet had lead me to Paul again. I couldn't believe all of this was happening in a parking lot.

As I confronted Paul again I grasped his hand and pulled him towards me. He stumbled slightly by the shock but his quivering stopped and he looked at me with confusion filling his eyes. If he expected that I wouldn't react or so to this whole thing than he was seriously mistaken.

"What did Summer say?" Paul demanded.

"That you were hiding something. Something that apparently involved me." I responded just as angry as Paul. But when Paul slightly paled and again started to shake my wall crumbled and I started to shout myself.

"What did she mean? Are you hiding something?" I asked. I knew that if he was hiding something it didn't necessarily needed to involve me but if everyone around me knew except me, it certainly had to be something important. Something he didn't want me to know.

"Jules, it's nothing. Summer was just messing around." Seth spoke up. I was surprised he defended Paul, especially since he was about to hit him just a second ago.

"Oh really?" I responded sarcastically. If he really thought his words would make a difference than he really was mistaken. "Than why were you ready to hit him?"

"It's none of your business." Seth responded.

"Than why does everyone, except me, know?" I replied. I was fiddling with the hem of my shirt nervously while anger was fogging my mind and making it hard to think rationally.

"Look, we don't know!" Brady intercepted. I glared at him. Summer was _his_ sister. It was weird he wasn't defending her.

"Whatever, I don't care." I responded exasperated and I moved to walk away but Paul grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop.

"It's about Lily." He said softly.

"What do you mean?" I responded. Alarmed by the fact he was bringing that up now. Why would he do that? I thought we had pushed that all aside. Apparently he was up to something and when he turned to me I realized that whatever it was it wasn't good.

"I found her address. And I want you to visit her." Paul said firmly. Anger blinded me and I pulled my arm out of his grip. He shouldn't have done that.

"Why?" I demanded crestfallen. "Why would you do that?"

"Julie-" Paul began but I cut him off again.

"Do _not_ talk to me. Do not _ever_ talk to me again." I hissed and I moved away. Hurt and angry tears were glistering in my eyes. He had done it now. He had ruined it all. And I wasn't sure if my feelings were worth it to make all of it alright. Because all of it was still new.

One thing I did know though, I didn't want him near me.

**^*^**

"Kim, don't! Please." I muttered when Kim forced me to eat something. I was home alone and my parents were still gone. I had asked Kim to stay with me even though I was still angry. But I pushed that anger aside and thought rationally. I had a pretty big house and I didn't feel that safe all alone, if I were with Kim I'd feel better. I asked Summer as well but she didn't wanted to come because Kim would be here. Pathetic yes! Necessary, apparently.

"Jules, you have to eat something. You haven't eaten something since this morning. It's not healthy." She reprimanded. I shrugged, honestly, I could care less. I didn't have the appetite or the energy to do anything, this included eating.

"Kim, let's not, alright? Besides, I just want to sleep right now." Kim gave me final look before she took both of our plates; mine still full, to the kitchen. She had cooked dinner and I felt bad for letting her do all the work. I got up and realized that I felt very tired, a bit dizzy. And I held on to the edge of the dining table before I continued walking to the kitchen. Kim was already filling up the dishwasher. I decided to help her.

"Sorry Kim, I'm being a bit of a wet blanket right now." I apologized, and I moved to help her. I might as well do something productive.

"I understand. I'm just as surprised as you are that Paul did that to." Kim responded focusing her attention on filling the dishwasher. Question marks rose and I frowned at her. Didn't she already know? Wasn't it one of the reasons why I was so angry? Because everyone knew beside me.

"What are you talking about Kim? Didn't you already know? Didn't everyone know?" I demanded. My voice was quivering and somehow I felt betrayed and I felt scared by what was going on.

"Oh, I d-didn't mean it like that." Kim said nervously. "I knew. I did."

"Than why didn't you tell me? Didn't you owe me that? As your best friend. You're supposed to tell me these kinds of things." I was indeed betrayed and it looked like there were more things going on which I was oblivious to.

"But it wasn't my secret to tell." Kim responded evenly. She looked at me with fearful eyes and she was clutching the white plate in her hands.

"I don't care; first of all, it's not a secret. And second of all, it never stopped you before." My anger was at its peak and I was surprised my voice was so deadly calm. Maybe because I was more hurt than really angry.

"I was only trying to help." Kim defended. "I never meant to let it come out like this. How would I know that Summer would act like how she did."

"Don't blame it on Summer, she at least wanted to tell me." I hissed slamming my hand on the table. I glared fully at Kim and felt some sort of satisfaction when I saw her glare at me to. Good, become angry, give me a reason to explode.

"Than why was Paul the one that spilled the secret, huh? Summer walked away." Kim shouted. Her voice cracking.

"Because you told her to." I yelled back. "Because you were so set on hurting her you didn't see that it hurt me to. Don't you have any shame at all?"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that." Kim hissed, her voice dropping in volume. Tears were filling her eyes and I hadn't realized that my tears had already spilled over. I knew that the argument was over. The dam had broken and the water was flowing now.

Silence engulfed us and Kim put the plate she was holding in the sink again before she started to wash her hands. I couldn't understand why she was just standing there, why wasn't she leaving? Did she want me to kick her out? Because I surely would love that. I didn't care she was my best friend. Note to the past tense. After this I'm not sure if it's worth it all.

"I think you should go." I said. I looked at her and saw that the tears had gone and it had replaced a look full of sorrow. Not to mention the regret and guilt that filled her eyes.

"Don't worry, I'm going." Kim responded. I turned my back on her as she walked away and didn't move until the door closed behind her back. I just lost all my friends in less than two days. How someone could accomplish that? I wasn't sure. But I was sure that our group had divided itself. Summer had pulled away, so had Kim. And of course Jared would be with her. And then you had Seth and Brady. And last and especially least there was Paul.

Where did it leave me?

**_A/N: Review you guys. _**

**_P.S: The secret Paul just spilled, it's a cover up for another secret, can someone guess which one?_**


	11. If You Feel Like Running Away

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! Except Julie and the characters SM didn't create!**_

**_A/N: Squee over a hundred reviews! Celebration here! Anyway, thanks for the reviews I hope you'll like this chapter as well, it turned not the way I wanted to but I do like it. Sort of. Anyway, here it is! And thank you guys! And a special thanks to oreocookiepup101 for being the one hundred reviewer of this story! Eek I'm so excited! Enjoy the chapter:_**

_I__f You Feel Like Running Away_

Days went by slowly and before I even knew it a week had passed and March was approaching. Meaning my birthday was close. I wasn't in the mood for that though. I used to love my birthday, who didn't? But seeing the state of things I'm much better without a celebration, even though I was turning eighteen. It should be a very happy moment. Mum was excited, Dad didn't react, which was something I was used to, but I wasn't in the mood for any celebration, not when I felt like my whole life was such a mess.

I needed to sort out my priorities.

And what other way would be better if I started with making amends? If only I had the guts to get over my pride. But the hurt was preventing me to take a step in their direction. I didn't speak to Summer, she refused, I didn't try. I didn't speak to Kim because I simply didn't want to, Jared didn't look at me because he was angry at me that I had hurt Kim. He seriously was blind if he thought that she was the victim in this situation. Seth tried to talk to me but I didn't open up. And Paul, well Paul was the last person I wanted to see, and fortunately I hadn't seen him since that dreadful day Kim and I had a fight. He didn't show up at school anymore.

I noticed. Of course I did. The more I tried to ignore Paul ever entered my life the more I was aware of what was going on with him. I couldn't control it. Like I was some kind of satellite, only focused on him. Moving around him, adapting my every single move based of his actions. It was ridiculous actually. I needed to get over this thing. I only wished I knew how.

Currently I was at school, holding my History books along with my sketchbook. I haven't sketched in a long time but somehow I felt the urge to draw again. They were all the same though. The grey wolf I had once stumbled upon. Even though I only saw a flash of it I tried picturing it and filled up the blanks of details I missed. I tried picturing it in different situations. It didn't matter though, the drawing would always end up the same.

"Wondered where you were." I stopped in my tracks and turned around. In front of me stood Dante Williamson. He had no expression on his face and I automatically took a step backwards. I frowned and glared at him angrily. He had messed up so many things and I wouldn't mind blaming him.

"Why? So you can fulfil your promise?" I spat out. He looked taken back and a flash of anger crossed his face. I took another step back, carefully keeping distance between the two of us. I looked around and realized that there was nobody in this part of the building. Why was the art building always separated from the main part of the school? Why? Dante apparently knew that to because he wouldn't approach me if he knew that there would be people here.

"That's not what I meant." He said casually and I grimaced as I turned my back on his and started walking. I wasn't quite sure if he followed me or not but I could care less. Right now he was one of the things I didn't want to face and I was pretty good at running for him so I could keep up this act for a long time.

"Hey, wait up. There's no need to act so bitchy?" Dante told me as he put his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off aggressively.

"Don't touch me." I hissed. He put his hands in the air and I saw a smile appear in his eyes.

"Fine, I won't. I just wondered why you weren't with your friends."

"What is it to you?" I responded, I gave him another glare and continued walking.

"Nothing." He muttered and I glanced backwards. He was still trailing behind me. I rolled my eyes. Somehow I didn't feel threatened by him. Maybe because he wasn't acting threatening. I suppose that played a big part. I smiled as I had reached the main building. I felt another hand on my shoulder and without even looking I knew who it was. Dante.

"Would you please leave me alone?" I snapped as I turned around. He dropped his hand and I saw a slight shift in his dark eyes. His hair were tied in a ponytail and his mouth stood in a straight line. His lips almost none existent. All together his face looked menacing. Now I did feel scared.

"What do you want from me?" I exclaimed. I was tired with the game he was playing and wanted to end it more than ever.

"I want you to tell me where Paul is?" He told me. My breathing stopped and I widened my eyes at him. I shook my head immediately. If there was something I expected from him it wouldn't be this. I had thought that he would want to get back at me for blurting out his secret like that. But not this. What would he want to do with Paul?

"I don't know." I answered. I wasn't lying, I really didn't know. I may have a hunch but it wouldn't tell Dante that. Never!

"I think you do." He responded. He took a step towards me and I took one back again. I hadn't realized that I had my back pressed up against the wall until it was too late.

"I don't know. Why don't you get that through your thick skull?" I spat out. Anger bubbling beneath my skin. Waiting to gush out.

"You know what the problem was with Lily? She was far too naïve. Just like you, I'm still wondering why Paul's so interested in you. You're not that unique. There are tons of girls who are like you. But I suppose getting you banged up is a good way to get back at Paul." The moment those words left his mouth something hard collided with him. I saw a blur of dark hair and heard a familiar yell.

I hadn't realized that I was standing there, merely watching the scene unfold. I saw limbs smash against each other providing a sound I never heard before. It was fire against fire and as curses were thrown, fists were broken and punches were held back I was surprised to feel that familiar tugging in my stomach. He came back. After all, he came back. I felt my knees shake, they were trembling and I had no hold of them. I didn't care though. My eyes were firmly glued on the two boys pouring out their emotions in flying fists.

Paul pulled back his hand and let it snap forward, hitting Dante in his jaw. Boy that must've hurt. But Dante recovered soon and returned the favour by lifting up his knee and jamming that in Paul's stomach. I gasped. My only vocal reaction since he came. I still couldn't believe he came. Why would he come to me after I told him off so badly? I caused a division between us and the others. If I had thought and talked about it more rationally we might've not have a mess like this on our hands right now. At least I know where my talent lays, right?

"Williamson! Matson." That was Mr Lewis and I let out a sigh of relieve. Paul had Dante by his collar and had him pushed up against the wall. Dante's hands were reaching for Paul's throat and I could see a few splatters of blood trailing in their path.

Familiar people walked by and I faintly recall some guys pull Paul off Dante as Dante was held back by others. It wasn't hard to notice the tension and growing hate between them. They were glowering at each other and Paul was shaking vividly. To a point where I thought he'd combust. Before I knew it Paul was pulled away from the scene by Jacob Black while Mr Lewis was screaming about how disappointed he was in them. I was still huddled together. Nobody noticed me.

"Both of you will report yourself at the Principal's office. This is not acceptable!" Mr Lewis roared. Dante glared at him before his eyes moved to me. I gulped and stared at him blankly. He narrowed his eyes at me before he yanked his arms away from his friends. He straightened his shirt before he walked away. I stared at his back and waited while his angry voice faded away.

"Miss Lynam, would you like to explain what happened?" I faintly registered Mr Lewis' voice. I did the one thing I was capable of doing. I shook my head and picked up my books that I had dropped. I still had classes to attend.

^*^

Whispers followed me everywhere I went. The fight between Dante and Paul went around quickly and everyone also knew that I was there. Of course the first fight was far more public than the second and their own conclusions were soon spreading itself. Word went around that I was the reason that they were fighting. How right they were, the fight was directed at me but not about me. I fought because Dante had hurt someone close to me. Lily. Dante fought with me but he never touched. Because Paul was the one barrier that stood in between us. It was the only thing that kept him away from me. I should be thankful for this. God knows I am, but I'm not sure how to react at all this. It was so unfamiliar. I felt like I was trespassing forbidden territory.

"There she is."

"I heard Williamson and Matson are expelled."

"They're only suspended for two days, that's all."

"They were fighting over her, who do you think she'll choose." I quickened my pace when I heard that. I wasn't in the mood for that conversation.

"My money's on Paul."

"Mine on Williamson."

"We'll see who wins."

I walked in to my English classroom. I was glad it was my last period. I wanted to just leave but I hadn't had the guts to do so, knowing my mum would freak if I skipped class. Not to mention my dad would be furious. I was literally counting down the minutes. I sat down at the back while I felt eyes prickle my senses. I knew that they were talking about me, I knew they were looking at me. But they could be more subtle, right?

The class started and as I made notes, focusing on the words of my teacher only. When I went to the bathroom a few minutes before I looked pale. There were bruise like circles beneath my eyes due to lack of sleep but the worst thing was that Paul was the one to blame for that. I wanted to sleep so badly, but the argument between us came up every single time and I didn't even have my own dreams to pull me away from the messed up reality which is my life.

I was torn in two. One part of me said that I should go to Paul and apologize. Start over, but another part of me said that I had to buckle up and get through this year and than go to college and forget everything. Slightly overdramatic but effective. It was the only thing for me to move on. Forget, move on and pretend it never happened. It mostly works, until it comes back and hits me ten times harder than it should.

I could run away from it, or I could face it. None of the two sounded slightly tempting. I wanted to crawl beneath my blanket and stay hidden for the rest of my life. I could live with that. The only thing was, am I able to live like that. Surely someone will come around and pull me away, force me to act my age and not my shoe size.

And I think I know who this person may be. I felt like some realization washed over me. It lightened my heavy heart as I slowly grasped the meaning of it all. Paul was the only one that had some certain hold on me. He was the only one that had me in fire in mere seconds; he was the only one who blew out the fire to. I felt strange, finding out what it meant. It wasn't the way I wanted to find it out. True I was angry at him for going behind my back about Lily, but he only did that to help me. Because he was worried about me. Surely that meant something, right?

A smile crossed my face and I brushed away the strands of hair that covered my eyes. I knew what I had to do. I had to find Paul, right now. I wasn't quite sure what I'd say to him, or what I'll do but I just have to see him. I felt like running away right now but I'm sure that wouldn't look good seeing the circumstances. I closed my eyes and hoped that the droning my teacher was doing would stop in a mere minute.

As the bell rang I bolted out of the classroom. I had no idea where I had to go but as soon as I reached the school parking lot and saw Paul stand with Jacob, Seth and Jared. He wasn't even allowed to be here, but I suppose nobody every actually kept tabs with the students. His face didn't look that beaten up though; he must've dodged the hits Dante forced his way. Before I knew it I had started running. My feet lead me to him in a few seconds and I saw his eyes widen when he saw me. I stood in front of him and the conversation the boys had before had died out completely.

I blacked out immediately and didn't know what to do. The familiar tugging in my stomach returned only it was intensified so much more when Paul looked in my eyes. His dark eyes seeking mine, they held so much regret that it was impossible for me not to feel it. As we just stood there watching each other I knew there was one thing that I still had left to do.

And I got up on my toes taking a deep breath as I took the plunge.

**_A/N: Dun dun dun, was it a cliffhanger? Let me hear your thoughts! Review!_**


	12. You Feel Like Breathing

_**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine! Bleh! **_

**_A/N: Thank you for the reviews and here is a quick update! The upcoming updates will go slower as I have other things on my mind right now but if you review a lot I'll make the next update quick! Anyway, thank you for the support for the past chapter glad you liked it all! So here is it! What will happen? Enjoy:_**

_You Feel Like Breathing_

My mouth felt dry and I was suddenly aware of the close proximity between us. I felt him whisper my name and it was the only encouraging I needed. I dropped my books and they hit the ground with a loud thud. I ignored Seth, Jared and Jacob and pulled Paul by his shirt, his lips were now a few inches away from mine and I involuntarily smiled. Loving the peeved look on his face. I curled my hands in his shirt and tugged him even closer to my lips. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering like maniacs and I was surprised that hadn't busted through my stomach yet. My heartbeat felt like it was going a hundred miles per hour. I loved it. I loved every single feeling and before I knew it had wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against him. My eyes fluttered close.

The butterflies exploded. It felt like they were now out in the open and they were fluttering like crazy surrounding us while they shone their different colours. His lips were soft and even though the kiss was so innocent it felt like it was the most passionate thing ever. Oh yes, this was something I could get used to. It felt so natural, and I realized this was what I wanted. Paul was what I needed. I parted my lips and breathed into the kiss. I felt him shudder, surprised at his reaction and before I knew it his lips started moving with mine.

It was so perfect, I could taste him, feel him. This was how it was meant to be. How it was supposed to be. I took a step closer and as his warm hands traced my waist and settled at my hips and pulled me even closer. I felt his tongue trace my lower lip and before I knew it I had granted him permission. The way he explored my mouth made me tremble like crazy and I felt my knees grow weak. If he wouldn't have a hold on me I'm sure I would've melted down. The heat he was radiating was excruciatingly pleasant.

He felt like breathing.

As he slowly pulled away and rested his forehead to mine I felt like there was something filling me from the inside. Comforting me, reassuring me. I didn't want that feeling to go away and I immediately made a mental note never to let that feeling go. I would hold on to it. Covet it, if necessary. After all, it was my feeling to treasure. To cherish. My eyes fluttered open and I saw that his eyes were still closed. I pressed my lips against his again, and again, and again.

Before I knew it I started to laugh. Paul opened his eyes and his eyes shone with happiness. Suddenly I realized that Seth, Jared and Jacob had just witnessed my intimate moment with Paul and I pulled back immediately and turned my eyes to the three boys. Jared looked confused though appreciation shone in his eyes. Jacob was making gagging noises though he was certainly amused. Seth on the other hand looked happy though I knew that he had his own issues to worry about.

I smiled sheepishly and looked at Paul. He was running his hand through his hair to tame the wild look. There was a smile on his face and I knew I had done the right thing. Never realized I could be so impulsive yet I liked the thought of it.

"That was…something." Jared muttered.

"Tell me about it." Jacob responded. "Didn't know you had it in you Paul." Jacob punched Paul's shoulder but he didn't really react. His eyes were focused on mine instead and I didn't mind at all.

"I think that's our cue to bolt." Seth said amused. "So let's go." The three boys got into Jared's truck and started the engine. They slowly drove out of the parking lot leaving me alone with Paul. I didn't mind one bit.

"So." Great way to start a conversation Paul!

"I like you." I blurted out. A smile appeared on Paul's face and before I knew it he had pulled me close to him again and pressed his lips on mine. God I couldn't get enough of his lips. They were so addictive; I was lost to them the second we kissed.

He pulled away far too soon and I grasped his shirt holding myself upright. "I think we've established that Jules." Paul murmured in my ear and I let out a shudder when I felt his breath in my ear. I pulled him closer and tugged his face closer to mine.

"Do you like me too?" I asked. I already knew the answer but it felt good to hear them from his mouth. It confirmed things, it reassured me. And like I said before, I'd do anything to get that kind of confirmation.

"Do you even have to ask?" He asked surprised. I nodded and waited for his answer. His lips brushed against the corner of my mouth briefly and even though it wasn't even a real kiss it made my knees shake nonetheless.

"Do you?" I breathed out, my eyes had fluttered close again and it was like Paul and I were in our own little world where nothing else mattered but us.

"Yes."

Who'd ever thought that one word was enough to settle things like that? I smiled and I knew things were perfect. More than perfect actually.

^*^

"What are we going to tell the others?" I asked quietly. I was currently sitting in Paul's car. He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other one was holding my hand. I loved his warm skin on mine. I felt giddy. Things happened so quickly but it felt so right. I've known Paul all my life. He was that guy who fought a lot. But I've only really known him for a few months. And boy did those months pay off.

"What do you want to tell the others?" Paul replied and he lifted my hand and pressed his lips to them. I smiled and clutched his hand even more. The safety he provided always left me dazzled.

"Paul, don't be like that. Just tell me what you want me to say." I argued. We weren't even together, at least I don't we are, not officially at least, and we were already bickering. I suppose it'll always be like this with us.

"I don't care what you say." He answered truthfully. "Just say what feels right."

"But…" I trailed off. What should I say?

"Are we together Paul?" I asked. I was sort of scared of his answer but I knew that we had to get this settled or else we'd never get anywhere.

"Do you want to be?" He asked. I saw a faint grin tug at the corner of his mouth and I gasped at his cruelty. He wanted _me_ to say it.

"Fine, if you're so immature than I suppose we can let it go, right?" I teased and smiled when I saw the appalled look on his face.

"Yeah we're together." He answered gruffly. I smiled at his quick response and let a little giggle. He amazed me. Suddenly I was seeing him in a different light and I realized that we still hadn't talked things through.

Silence engulfed and I saw that the evening was coming upon us. Clouds were hanging low and darkening slightly. Which meant one thing. There would be a killer storm tonight. I sighed. I hated storms, just like I hated the night. I turned to Paul and saw that he was driving comfortably while my hand was in his. It felt so strange to feel so comfortable in a split second but when I looked into Paul's eyes I couldn't help but feel like we knew each other from before. It was familiar and that familiarity was something I was so desperately searching for.

He drove into La Push and as the bumpy road was enough to make me hit my head a few times, which caused Paul amusement, I knew that our little trip was about to be cut short. A loud rumble was heard from a distance and a flash of bright light filled the whole sky. I shuddered and Paul stopped the car. I looked out of the window and saw that the lights were still out in my house. Which meant that my parents weren't home yet, or they weren't coming home. I sighed and assembled my school stuff before I got out of the car. Paul followed me and I let him follow me.

"Wanna come in?" I asked and almost laughed at how cheesy it sounded. Paul smiled and I pulled him in. I closed the door behind me and switched on the lights to bring in some clarity in the darkened room.

"I can't stay all too long though." Paul said as I motioned him to sit on the couch. "I have some errands to run."

"In this weather? Can't it wait?" I asked as I moved to the kitchen while I turned the heating on. I than saw the note on the table and I knew what it said before I even read it.

_Julie,_

_Dad and I are working the nightshift_

_We won't be home until tomorrow morning._

_I made some lasagne, it's in the oven._

_Make sure to make your homework and get some sleep._

_Love mom._

"Figured." I murmured and turned my attention back to Paul who had followed me.

"So you're staying all alone tonight?" Paul asked as his eyes shifted to the note my mum had left me. I nodded.

"Obviously." He frowned and I wondered what bothered him. I was used to staying home alone. Sometimes it even felt like I lived on my own already. I mostly took care for myself.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just don't like the idea of you staying on your own." He muttered and I rolled my eyes though the concern touched me. It was sweet he cared. Very sweet indeed.

"Don't worry Paul, I'm used it. I'm a big girl now." I reminded him. He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. I blushed at his actions. It was still new so I still had to get used to it. But that didn't mean I didn't like it. Not at all.

"Why don't you ask Summer or Kim to stay with you? They won't mind?" He said and my smile slowly evaporated until there was nothing left.

"Well, they wouldn't if were at speaking terms." I responded gruffly. It reminded me of something that had to be done. I looked at Paul and pushed him into a seat. When he sat down I could look into his eyes completely. The height was now compensated.

"Right, forgot." He muttered and he looked at the ground.

"Paul, why didn't you tell me what you did?" I asked sadly. I couldn't refrain the sorrow from seeping into my voice. He avoided my eyes and shrugged. He held my hands in his and pulled me closer to him until I was standing in between his legs.

"Because I knew you'd be angry." Paul answered truthfully. Well he was right about that.

"But why did you do it? You knew I was trying to put it behind me."

"Putting it behind you is a bit hard considering you managed to get on the bad side of Williamson." Paul responded. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms yet kept standing in between his legs. It felt comforting and somehow I managed to keep my cool even though the situation wasn't meant to be like that.

"That's not the point." I argued weakly. "I'm not used to someone fighting my battles. Not even Seth does that Paul. Don't you see?" I mumbled. I felt Paul's hands encircle mine and give it a little squeeze.

"Don't I see what?"

"I don't want someone to fight my battles, I can handle my own." I answered him truthfully.

"Jules, if it wouldn't be Williamson I would've let you fight your own fights, trust me. But he's up to no good, and you know that. Out of all people you're the one who would know how he is."

"Of course I know." I responded harshly. "Do you think I'd forgotten what happened to Lily? She was my friend Paul. So you have to understand why I needed to stand up for her."

"Will it make any difference?" Paul suddenly questioned. My eyes snapped to his. All the time I wasn't making eye contact but when he asked the forbidden question I had to. An automatic response that demanded every single amount of anger.

"Of course it'll make a difference." I spat. He was already shaking his head.

"No Jules, you don't understand. Lily has moved to Seattle. Started a whole new life, she has moved on, why can't you?"

My breaths came out in short gasps and I felt tears ooze out of the corner of my eyes. I wanted them to stop. I yanked my hands away from his and turned my back to Paul. I wanted him to understand, but it seemed like he was dead set on not understanding where I came from. I felt his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off quickly. I didn't want him near me right now. I was far too hurt, angry to give him any time of the day.

"Well?" His voice was merely a whisper. I turned around again and looked him in the eye.

"Because it's hard to move on when you're confronted with it on a daily basis." I responded.

"That's not true Julie; you only think you're confronted with it daily. But if you choose to let it go you're able to move on." Paul told me. He pulled me close to him and I toyed with the front of his shirt as I kept my eyes solemnly on my hands.

I knew Paul was making a point but somehow it didn't really help me get over the fact why I'm holding on to it. I was holding on to it so vividly because I thought I deserved it all. I had to remember it, torture myself with the whole guilt that I could've put an end to it. If only I had been brave enough to go against my parents wishes. Kids to it all the time, than why couldn't I?

"Maybe I don't want to move on." I confessed. My voice sounded small and I couldn't believe that I felt like opening up to Paul. But I knew I could open up, after all, he knew it all now. I felt his eyes on me, they practically burned a hole.

"What do you mean?" He sounded genuinely confused.

"Maybe because I need a constant reminder so I won't forget." I offered. I felt his hands gently lift my chin so I would face him.

"I don't think you could forget, even if you would want to. But you need to stop letting it control your life. It's not your fault." And with that he told me just the one thing I needed to hear. To ease the guilt that threatened to rip me apart.

"Julie, are you listening? It's not your fault!"

"I'm listening." I told him. "Thank you."

"Anytime." I wrapped my arms around him and he pulled me close to him.

I could get used to this.

**_A/N: This had to be the most difficult chapter to write. And it took me days to write this. Hope you like it all! Review and let me know!_**


	13. Well I Heard There Was A Secret Chord

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! You know that already though.**_

**_A/N: Sorry for the late update but school caught me up and well things have been so hectic I barely had time to update. But I'm back again and I like to thank all of you for your support. Thank you, you're amazing! Anyway, I like to tell you that my whole time timeline is messed up. I've read the Twilight books over again and well nothing is right. Paul for example is older than he actually is. He's the same age as Bella in the books and one year older than Jake and Seth is older in my story too. But I don't really care for that if I'm honest, the timeline however. Like Seth's dad has already died while in New Moon he died during Bella's spring break. So I'm sorry of the inaccuracy but well, I rather not change all of it, so just think it's the end of New Moon and well I apologize for the things that aren't in canon. Ah well, I got pretty far now I'm not going to change anything, I hope all of you will like this chapter and please review! They make me update sooner!_**

_Well I Heard There Was A Secret Chord_

Blurs, vivid bright colours, sparks in different colours shone in the dark and it was the only thing that I could grasp, even if it didn't make sense. I wondered if this had any purpose whatsoever. I didn't come far. I was faintly aware that it was some strange dream, only I couldn't grasp the concept of it. The bright colours, the blurry visions. The sudden blackness. My eyes snapped open and I immediately felt some kind of brace around my waist that kept me down. I tilted my head to the side and saw that Paul had his arm around my waist, keeping my effectively pinned against his side. His mouth was open slightly and somehow he looked several years younger than his eighteen years.

I recalled the previous night and realized that during the talks and laughs we must've fallen asleep though I couldn't remember it at all. Things were going far too fast, we were only together for less than twenty four hours and he's already found sleeping next to me. I wondered what it meant. I knew that my feelings had a tinge of dept in them. Of course, I would never be like this with Paul if my feelings were platonic. But this thing, if you could call it, it was so strong. This pull I felt with Paul was something I never had before. Of course, I had crushes before. There was a time I liked Seth but than I realized he was too young for me and he was too good of a friend.

There were no words to explain how I felt.

"Paul!" I shook him awake. He scrunched up his nose and his hold on me tightened pulling me even closer. The warmth he was radiating was pulling me under and I tried escaping his hold. He didn't budge.

"Paul, if my parents found us like this, they'll kill us." That brought out some kind of reaction out of him. Laughter bubbled on the surface and I chuckled. He let me go and got up. He moved his neck and I heard a not so healthy sound.

"Ouch, that didn't sound all too good." Paul complained. I smiled. Apparently a couch isn't a good place to sleep on when you're 6 feet 3. I got up as well and looked at the clock. It said three in the morning. For some reason I wasn't tired anymore.

"My parents will be home in the morning." I told him. Paul grimaced and I raised my hand and ran it through his dark hair. His hair was softer than I imagined no the gel had come out. His hair was also longer, a bit shaggy but not on the long side. I pulled my hand back but he caught it in his hand and placed a small kiss on my fingers. I scrunched my nose in confusion and he placed another kiss on my nose. I let out a laugh.

"Stop it." I told him firmly, trying to be stern, yet it wasn't successful.

He had been doing these cute little things ever since our kiss. Little things, like holding my hand, spontaneously kissing it. Or something he would pinch my nose and kiss it afterwards. Or he would pull my close by my shoulders and he'd place a random kiss on my head. I didn't wonder why he was suddenly so out of character, because I knew that it was exactly what I needed. I didn't want to jinx it.

"What were you saying?" Paul asked. I thought of my parents.

"My parents will be home in a few hours." I began. "Do you want to see them or is it too early?" I wasn't quite sure how my parents would react. Because I've never ever brought a boy home and well I knew my mother would be polite, dad however, he'd ask him things and embarrass him.

"Well, what do you want?"

"Uhh, let's uh, I'll introduce you later on." I told him honestly and smiled for reassurance. He raised his eyebrows but didn't argue back. I opened my mouth to say something when suddenly a shrill sound cut off my attempt. Paul reached for his pocket and took out a shiny cell phone. He snapped it open and held it to his ear.

"Yeah?" Isn't he friendly? Note the sarcasm. I didn't quite catch the rest of his conversation because he only hummed and agreed during the whole conversation. His eyes shifted to me quickly and it brought up suspicion.

"I'll be there." Was all he said before he hung up.

"I have to go Jules." And he quickly pecked me on the lips.

"Where are you going?" I asked him when he got up from the couch. He reached for his car keys while he walked to the door. I trailed behind him while he descended the stairs, ignoring his protests. I had to admit, they were pretty pathetic, he didn't use force to keep me inside, instead he just told me off. Like that would keep me inside. Shouldn't he know me better by now?

"Jules, stay inside. I have to go now." Was all he said.

"Where to? And who was that on the phone?" I demanded. He sighed exasperated but turned around now making me bump into his chest. I pulled away quickly and crossed my arms glaring all the way.

"Possessive already? Isn't it a bit too soon?" Paul asked amused. I stuck out my tongue. I knew it was a tiny bit over the top but something didn't feel right. The sudden change of demeanour had to mean something.

"That's beside the point." I told him.

"Look, baby." I raised my eyebrows at his choice of words. _Baby?_ "Alright, _Jules_, listen to me. Why don't you go to sleep and I'll go home. It's late and we have school tomorrow. You'll be exhausted."

"Alright." I drawled out. "But why are you leaving so abruptly?"

"I have some errands to run." Was his excuse and I raised my eyebrows obviously not convinced. Errand to run, in the middle of the night?

"It's three in the morning." I reminded him. Suddenly I saw his posture. He wasn't looking at me during the whole conversation. In stead his eyes were set on the dark trees behind him and his eyes shifted every now and then, it was like he was seeing something I wasn't. I put my hand on his arm and hoped his tense muscles would relax more. At that point a loud howl erupted from the wood behind Paul and I screamed loudly. Paul hissed and seriously growled. And I don't mean the dog like growl, I mean the human growl.

Suddenly I understood.

"Paul, you're not thinking of going in to the woods, right?" He didn't answer me; instead he picked me up with one arm and quickly put me on my feet in front of my front door.

"You're crazy? You're absolutely crazy!" I shouted and I tried pulling his sleeve when he walked away from me again.

"Jules!" He gritted out. "I've not time for this. Just get inside and go to sleep, _damnitt_!" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You've lost your mind. You're going to get yourself killed." I hissed. He scoffed and he bended down to press his lips on mine briefly. Not even his lips could distract me right now. Not now he's being so ridiculously reckless.

"Just go to sleep, we'll talk later." He told me. I looked into his brown orbs and couldn't help myself and nodded.

"Promise?" I stopped my protest now. It didn't look like it would help anyways. I might as well give in, right?

"Promise." He assured me and he quickly got in to his car before he disappeared, with car and all.

"Reckless dork!" I muttered before turning around and getting in side, cursing the cold and the light drizzle of rain.

^*^

Paul was right though, the next morning I was exhausted. I didn't sleep after Paul left, would you sleep while you know that your idiotic boyfriend has run off in to the forest while you know that only a few weeks ago there was someone killed? I wouldn't. When I went to school, I was glad it was Friday, Paul wasn't there. I wasn't quite sure what I should've expected but I hoped he would be here anyway. I stood outside the calculus classroom and than realized that he was suspended. Of course he wouldn't be at school. I put away my cell phone in my bag and went inside the classroom. I wasn't too late, it was just that everyone already had a spot and well, the only spot that was left was next to Summer.

I sighed and dragged my feet to the chair. I didn't say anything when I sat down next to her. Neither did she. She kept her eyes on the black board in stead and the normal chatter around us gave me a vivid headache. I knew I looked pale with bruise like circles beneath my eyes. Summer had the same only the difference between us was she looked plain miserable.

"Hey Sum." I said. I hadn't quite thought of what I should've said but it felt like I at least should acknowledge her. Didn't I owe her that? She didn't say anything back and I sighed. Knowing it was already a battle lost trying to reach out to her. She hadn't said anything in the past few weeks, not to me, not to Seth and definitely not to Kim. I understood her anger, I was angry at Kim too, but for a complete different reason. I wondered if I should make things up with her. I glanced backwards and saw her sitting next to Jared. She was much quieter than usual and Jared saw me look at her. He gave a silent nod and I smiled back weakly.

At least he wasn't angry anymore. I had expected him to be though, Jared and Kim were inseparable and Kim's battles were Jared's battles. No matter how trivial they may seem, if she was in than he most definitely was. I brought my eyes back to my table and pulled out my books when our teacher came in. I had blanked him out the second he opened his mouth. I wasn't good in Math, in fact, I was a complete disaster, it would be better if they kicked me out of this class in the first place. Sadly enough it was obligatory for us seniors.

"Summer, aren't you going to talk to me at all?" I asked in a hushed tone so our teacher wouldn't hear us speak.

"Not if I can help it." Was her snappy response. I narrowed my eyes slightly but kept my anger inside.

"Why are you angry at me? Is this because of Paul? If it is, don't bother." I whispered back.

"Why? Because you're together now?" Summer looked at me with disdain and I didn't respond. "Thought so. Now if you don't mind, I rather pay attention than listen to your pathetic attempts to make amends."

"At least I'm trying Summer. At least I'm not stubborn enough to confess I made a mistake. I'm sorry alright, what ever it is I did, I'm sorry. But I think I'm capable of taking care of myself." I hissed.

"Oh really? Wait till you find the truth about Paul. Things will change, believe me." Summer responded in the same hushed tone. This time it was filled with accusation. And there it was. The same sentence that made me question everything. Something didn't seem right because she knew something I didn't.

"Tell me! What is it I need to know?" I urged. I wanted to know what it was, she couldn't possibly keep me in the dark, but neither could Paul. Yet he managed to keep me in the dark.

"J-just don't talk to me, okay?" Summer said. I frowned at the sudden turn of the tables. It didn't seem alright, something was off and the only person who was able to tell me was now not telling anymore. Summer seemed like the only person who really wanted me to know but now I wasn't so sure of that anymore.

"Fine." I whispered.

It was fighting a battle already lost, I couldn't convince Summer telling me, so the only person I could really ask was Paul but was it worth the drama? I rather not jeopardize the frail relationship we have for something that might be trivial but I feel like I have no other choice. If Paul won't tell me, I'll go to Seth and I'll continue on until I found out the truth. But I'll say it again, is it worth the risk?

**_A/N: Review please, it'll make my day!_**


	14. A Storm Is Warning In The Sky

_**Disclaimer: Don't own anything except the characters you don't recognize.**_

**_A/N: Another quick update! Hope you'll like it. So sorry for the typo's and for the mistakes in the last chapter, I'll edit when I have time. This'll be the last update this week because I got quite a few things coming up. But make me happy with reviews! I would love that. This is just a filler, nothing much happens this chapter! Enjoy._**

_A Storm Is Warning In The Sky_

A loud crash of thunder startled me and I let out a sigh. I hadn't seen Paul for two days now and I was absolutely disgusted by his lack of discipline, he had said he would talk to me, he may have not stated the date and the whereabouts, but the thing is, he said he would talk. And seeing I'm his girlfriend he could've at least warned me about not showing up. I didn't expect him to come now anyways. There was a storm raging outside and well, honestly, it didn't look all too well. My parents were already sleeping and technically I should be too, but I was far too anxious to sleep anyways. I looked at the clock and saw it was close to midnight.

"Witching hour." I murmured and moved to the door ready to lock up when suddenly a flash of silver crossed my vision. I halted in my steps and looked at the window not knowing whether I should step forward or take a step backwards. Everything in me was telling me to run away but as I was known for doing things I shouldn't do I walked to the window anyway, not even thinking that it would be wise if I locked up first. I didn't think of that obviously and as I reached the window I put my hand on the glass and peered into the darkness. Before I knew it the same flash of silver crossed my vision again and this time I saw it was fur. Fur which meant animal. Animal!

I stumbled backwards, a strangled cry escaping my mouth. I put my hand on my mouth; I didn't want my parents to wake up now. Firstly they would be major pissed because I woke them up and that meant they would have less sleep, which meant they'd be cranky in the morning. Second, they wouldn't believe it anyway. They were scientist, and they didn't believe things unless they witnessed it firsthand. And seeing as the animal wasn't anywhere to be seen. I took a few deep breaths and concentrated on getting my mind back on track.

A sharp knock on the door startled me and before I knew it I had stumbled over the little coffee table banging my head on the floor loudly. A sharp pain erupted in my head and it spread through my whole body. I groaned loudly and put my hand on my head as I put the other on the floor and tried to get vertical.

"Easy there!" Paul's voice startled me and I let out a yelp and immediately moaned as it stimulated the throbbing in my head. His warm hands trailed on my arms keeping me upright when suddenly I heard thumps down the stairs.

"Go!" I whispered urgently and Paul quickly moved to the closet on the other side of the room. How cliché. A closet!

I hissed in pain when I touched the bump on my head and waited for the scolding to come. I knew it was my mother who was coming down the stairs because I recognize the rhythm of her footsteps. Faster and it was lighter than my dad's.

"Julie, are you alright?" I heard her ask.

"Yeah mom, go back to sleep. I just fell, that's all." I cried out.

"Alright, you need some help?" My mother now appeared at the bottom step of the stairs and looked at the mess I made. The coffee table was on the floor with all its contents.

"No, mum. Go to sleep." I told her and my mother nodded. She was far too sleepy to even protest and she went back upstairs. I waited till I heard her bedroom door close before I got up. Paul was already by my side.

"Are you absolutely crazy? How did you get in here anyway? Haven't you seen the weather outside? Stupid mutt." I muttered. Paul rolled his eyes but didn't comment and he helped me up and placed me in a swift movement on the couch.

"How's your head?" I shrugged while grimacing.

"It's throbs. That's all." Suddenly I thought about the animal. It was outside. And so was Paul a few minutes ago. I looked at him with a panic stricken face; he halted in his movements and looked at me confused.

"Jules, what ar-"

"There was something outside." I said in a tiny voice. "It was outside and so were you."

"Julie, what are you talking about? I didn't see anything." I ignored him. Right now the only thing I was paying attention to was to the fact that I knew that Paul was in danger and he didn't even know.

"Are you alright?" I fussed grabbing his face in my hands while I pulled him close. "God, you're far too reckless aren't you? First you are running off in the middle of the night and now this." I than saw he was wet. Of course, it was pouring dogs outside.

"Oh my God!" I gasped.

"Julie, calm down!" Paul told me. I looked at his brown eyes and frowned, not entirely grasping what he meant. Than I realized I wasn't breathing.

"Breathe Jules." I took a deep breath. "Good, now tell me what's wrong?"

I told him about the grey animal I saw. During the whole conversation Paul was serious until the end. When I told him I thought it was dangerous he seemed amused, almost like he didn't believe me. I felt absolutely ridiculous. Here I was voicing my worries and he could care less. I stopped talking halfway and glared at Paul before I got up and marched to the stairs. Paul caught my arm halfway though.

"Julie? Come on, be serious. I'm sure that it was harmless. Besides, it's a wolf." He told me.

I guffawed. "How would you know that?" I hissed.

"Because I saw it myself." Oh!

"See? Now don't worry and get your sorry ass to bed. You look like you haven't slept in days." Well maybe if he was around he would've noticed earlier.

"Thanks for noticing." I told him sarcastically. Paul rolled his eyes. I hated it when he did that. Because I knew he wasn't taking me seriously at all.

"Come on babe." He pulled me up the stairs to my bedroom. I wondered how he knew where my room was. I wanted to ask him but refrained. I wasn't up to argue too much. I suppose all the exhaustion was setting in and I just wanted to sleep.

"You're going to stay, right?" I asked him. I wanted him to stay and I think he wouldn't mind.

"Do you want me to?" He asked. I nodded.

"Alright then, but first get changed." I sighed and went to my closet pulling out my pyjamas.

"Turn around!" I told him sternly and Paul obliged with a smirk on his face and I knew he thought it was funny. I turned my back to him and quickly got rid of my clothes and was now in my tattered old boy shorts and a tank top. I than realized it was a bit too provoking so I quickly pulled on a grey sweatshirt.

"I'm decent." I told him and Paul turned around. I got in bed and he switched off the lights and got in next to me. He surely wasn't shy when it came to this. I didn't mind if I was honest. I personally wasn't the girl who would initiate this, minus our first kiss though, so I was glad that Paul wasn't afraid of taking the plunge. I snuggled closer to him and I felt him peck my forehead.

"I'm still mad at you though." I murmured. Sleep was almost overtaking me and with the warmth Paul radiated it wasn't hard to. I heard his low chuckle.

"Sleep." Was all he said and that's exactly what I did.

My dream was strange and they didn't make sense. Kim was there, and so was Summer. They were angry at me and were yelling shouting things I didn't understood, things I didn't hear. Suddenly I was standing in the middle of the classroom while the sun shone through the windows. It was strange though, the sun was far too bright and it was radiating such a warmth that I was starting to sweat. Suddenly I was naked and the classroom was filled with people. They were all laughing at me and pointing. I was frozen at the spot and I couldn't even try to cover myself up. Suddenly I started to melt and the heat was starting to become unbearable.

I awoke with a gasp and suddenly realized where the heat was coming from. It was coming from Paul who was snoring in my ear. Endearing isn't it? I pulled away from him and quickly discarded my sweat shirt. Much better and I lied back down. I hadn't seen that Paul wasn't wearing a shirt either, in fact he wasn't wearing anything but his sweats. I smiled. He truly had a well developed chest, even if he was far too young to look like this. Paul was eighteen but he didn't look like he was eighteen, in fact he looked like he was somewhere in his mid twenties. No wonder every girl was practically in love with him.

Paul suddenly stirred and turned so he was laying on his stomach his arms around my waist. I snuggled closer and kicked off my comforter. It was far too hot anyway. I closed my eyes again and tried to get some sleep. Lord knows I need it. I found out that I was suffering from insomnia if I was worried or stressed. I wouldn't sleep no matter how much I tried. It would cause a lot of trouble because I had trouble keeping my eyes open at school.

"Might as well get some sleep." I murmured shifting closer to the source of the heat Paul radiated.

When I woke up the next morning Paul was still sleeping. I looked at my clock and saw it was nine in the morning. I had missed first period, but somehow I could care less. I was pretty fine with the fact I was about to skip school, I was glad my parents didn't bust me in the first place. Missing one day of school isn't that much of a deal.

"Go back to sleep Jules." I heard Paul's voice in my ear as he snuggled closer. His hand was lying on my stomach and the heat was sinking through the thin fabric.

"I'm already up." I told him. My voice didn't sound nearly as sleepy as his.

"Hmm." He murmured. I turned again and this time I was facing his chest. His eyes were closed and I tapped his nose slightly. He scrunched up his nose in response and I tapped it again. This time he caught my wrist and brought it to his mouth, as he opened his eyes. Placing a sweet kiss on my fingers. It was something I absolutely loved about him.

Hold on.

_Love?_

Note to self, refrain from using big words.

"You're hot." I said without thinking. I was trying to distract myself from what I just thought and said the one thing that came up. I of course meant his temperature, not that he wasn't hot otherwise. The smirk on his face told me that he had taken it the other way, though he damn well what I meant. I flushed scarlet and that was quite the task with my complexion.

"I-I m-meant that y-you. Ugh never mind." I exclaimed eventually. The smirk was still radiant on his face. Suddenly his eyes shifted lower and before I knew it he had pushed me away while he tumbled off the bed. I heard a loud thump which meant he collided with the ground. Before I knew it he was back on his feet again and he had his arms crossed while his face held a very forced expression.

"Y-you're n-not w-wearing your shirt!" He stumbled over his words and I found it extremely adorable. I smiled at him, beaming slightly.

"Why, thanks Paul for noticing. Care to tell me something I don't know?" I teased and he rolled his eyes and gave me glare.

"It's nothing Paul!" I told him but he didn't budge and I sighed picking up the sweatshirt I had discarded earlier and pulled it over my head.

"Happy?"

"Ecstatic."

"Dork!" I muttered, he heard it though.

"Brat!"

"Hey!" I cried out.

"You started it." Was his childish response and I did the one thing I could do. I stuck out my tongue.

^*^

"Are you still mad at me?" Paul asked. I shrugged; we were at the First Beach taking a walk. His warm hand was around mine and I was kicking away some stones. I shrugged as I looked up at Paul.

"Not really, though I'm not that happy about you bailing." I told him honestly. I was getting quite tired of it. Him not showing up when he told me he would. Running around like a maniac chasing something Lord knows what.

"I told you I was sorry Jules! But I just had to take care of some things." Paul responded. There was a hint of annoyance in his voice and it tugged on my mood.

"Yeah, about that. What _were_ you exactly doing?" Paul stopped walking and he avoided my eyes. I raised my eyebrows. Why couldn't he just say what he was doing? Was it that hard to be honest? He sighed deeply and a frown appeared on his handsome face making him look angry though I knew he wasn't really angry.

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about." What kind of answer was that?

"What do you mean with that?" I exclaimed. I raised my finger and pointed him in the chest ignoring the pain that it caused. "When _my_ boyfriend runs off in the middle of the night, to chase God knows what in the forest, I think I'm allowed to be worried." A smile appeared on his face. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me close putting my arms around his neck. I didn't protest.

"You know, protective women turn me on." He said with a sly smile. Immediately butterflies appeared in my stomach and I had trouble glaring at Paul. I pulled away my arms and pushed him. I suppose he faked that I caused him any harm as he fell down taking me with him. I yelped as he pulled me on top of him breaking my fall.

I laid my head on his chest and I felt his hands on my back trailing circles. This felt really natural. Somehow everything with Paul felt so natural, everything came out easy and well, it looked like we were together for months instead of a few days. But there was something between us I couldn't explain. Some form of familiarity which I also saw in Jared and Kim only this time it was so much more personal.

"When will you tell me what you're hiding?" I asked him softly. I knew he knew that I knew that he was hiding something; I also knew that he was trying to keep it that way. But I didn't want that.

"Soon." He breathed out and I suppose I could live with that. Though I didn't want it to be like that for always. If he wouldn't tell me than I suppose I would have to find another way, and believe me. I would.

**_A/N: Review!_**


	15. Daisies, That's What You Gave Me

_**Disclaimer: You know it!!!**_

**_A/N: So sorry for the long wait but I got extremely busy with school! But I got a new chapter out anyways! This chapter will probably shock a lot of you, but believe me, I had this planned out from the start, I just hope you won't kill me! Anyway, I won't spoil anything. I hope you'll like it! And before you tell me, I KNOW MY TIMELINE IS RUBBISH! But I got over it! Lol! Anyway, here it is and enjoy! And remember to review! I love to hear from you guys! You're my inspiration to keep writing!_**

_Daisies, That's What You Gave Me_

_^*^  
__A blissful heat, that's all I felt. I was faintly aware about our surroundings but I could care less. I mean, the fact that I was pinned beneath him on his bed was quite intimate but I was more focused on his lips and his hands. They were roaming quite freely, not to mention he wasn't wearing a shirt. My hands roamed over his tanned back and I could hear him hiss when my nails scratched his skin. I pulled away from his lips but he didn't give me a chance and he pressed his lips on mine again. Kissing me, teasing me at the right places. His tongue begging entrance and exploring every part of my mouth. I felt his hands on my back roaming freely. Goosebumps appeared on my skin and tugged at the back of his hair. The heat was unbearable and I felt like drowning. _

"_Paul." I breathed out heavily as his lips trailed down my jaw to my neck. My hands were now hanging on to his shoulders limply. It was like I had no control over my body and with this heat it felt like a warm blanket covered me. A strange hazy fog suddenly filled my mind and the only thing I could hear was some sort ringing in my ear. Spots danced in my vision._

"_Julie?" I could hear Paul's frantic voice close to me and I forced my self to open my eyes. Reluctantly they fluttered open and I saw through a haze Paul's face. His face worried and frowns marking his face._

"_Oh crap!" I mumbled suddenly realizing what happened._

"_Baby, you alright?" I blinked in response and he hoisted me up, settling me in his lap. His hand on the small of my back. His warmth practically suffocating me._

"_What happened?" I asked in a tiny voice. I looked at Paul confused._

"_You fainted!" He said. I frowned. I fainted?_

"_I fainted?" I asked perplexed._

"_Yeah, how did that happen?" I flushed scarlet. I covered my face in my hands._

"_Oh my God, how humiliating!" I exclaimed. I fainted. While I was making out with Paul! Could it get any worse? Well it could! Suddenly Paul's loud laugh bellowed in his room. I buried my face deeper in my hands. This had to be the most embarrassing moment ever. I wish the floor would swallow me whole! Ugh!_

"_Shut up!" I muttered as Paul peeled off the fingers from my face. I shrugged off his hold on me. He didn't budge._

"_Come on Jules!" Paul urged and I focused my eyes on his face. His beautiful face was fighting the urge not to laugh and I cried out in frustration and got off his lap, or at least, that was the intention. Paul's hands had a firm grip on my hips. _

"_Paul!" I drawled and he let go and I got up._

"_Honey, don't worry. I won't tell!" Paul assured me with a sly grin. I blinked blankly. _

"_Much!" _

"_Ugh PAUL!" I screamed annoyed but Paul only laughed at me playfully before he pulled me closer again. Pressing his lips gently against mine._

"_I love you!" I smiled at him. My heart practically exploding with joy. He said he loved me. He said he loved me?! What do I say back?_

"_I love you too!" _

^*^

I shifted my weight to my other side as I tossed and turned. I kept my eyes shut even though tears escaped, rolling down my cheeks, leaving a trail of heartache. I took a shaky breath and bit my lip to keep myself from crying out loud. It was three days ago when I stayed at Paul's house to meet his parents. He had met mine before and well, I already expected that it would be a disaster, but Paul was persistent and he kept insisting to meet my parents. Who'd thought he would want to? I for one didn't know that he wanted to meet my parents this much.

^*^

_The doorbell rang and I quickly bolted for the door before my parents had the chance. I pushed Paul outside before he could even blink and shut the door behind me. I looked at him with a frantic look in my eyes and eyed his clothes. He looked _very_ nice. He was wearing dark blue fitting jeans with a white button up shirt. His dark hair was in a perfect disarray and I had to refrain myself from running my hands through it. _

"_What's wrong?" Paul asked. I smiled at him feverishly than I saw the bouquet of flowers in his hands. I melted._

"_Paul, you shouldn't have!" I cooed seeing the gorgeous bouquet of daisies. Even though I didn't like daisies that much it was the thought that counted. Paul's eyes shifted to the flowers in his hands and than looked at me._

"_They're not for you." _

_What?  
__  
"They're for your mother." I silently fumed. Pal had never bought me flowers. Never and he's seeing my mother for the first time and he has the nerve to buy her flowers and not me?_

_"Oh!" I drawled inadequately. I rolled my eyes and opened the front door as I pulled him inside by his sleeve._

_"Mum, Paul is here." I said loudly. My mother immediately came running to the living room and eyed Paul carefully. I knew she was being cautious because he was so huge but she kept it hidden fairy well and shook his hand. Paul than gave her the flowers and just like that she melted. How much alike are we?_

_"Oh dear they are beautiful. How thoughtful of you Paul." My mother's voice was so sickly sweet I wondered if it was fake but when I eyed her more carefully I saw the sincerity in her eyes. I let out a deep breath. My mum was sold, now I hoped my dad would approve him. Not that it mattered but still._

"_You're welcome Mrs Lynam." Paul said in a perfect polite tone. I frowned at him. He sure was very polite. I wasn't used to that. I mean, I know how Jared kept telling me that Paul can be fairly crude but he seemed so… so polite? I couldn't think of another word. Of course with me he'd tend to slip a few things. But according to his friends he'd censor everything for me. Just a few notches though._

_I sighed heavily as my mother called for my dad. "Finn sweetheart, come here." My dad growled and I closed my eyes to avoid any further humiliation. I grasped Paul's hand and pulled him down._

"_You cannot hold me accountable for what happens next." I hissed and pushed him away. I could practically hear Paul roll his eyes. As my dad came in he took one look at Paul before saying the unthinkable._

_  
"He's too old!" _

"_DAD!" I hissed. No hello, nice to meet you but he's too old. What kind of greeting is that? My dad didn't react though._

"_He's my age dad!" I said clenching my teeth hoping I wouldn't say something to set him off. Paul eyed me carefully as I glared silently at my dad. This wasn't going to the way I wanted it to go. We were all engulfed in this awfully uncomfortable silence. But what I hated the most was that my dad hadn't even greeted Paul properly after his little, very inappropriate, greeting. If you can even call it that._

_My dad grunted something incoherently and walked away. Tears burned in my eyes and I shifted my eyes to the wall while my mother apologized on dad's behalf. I didn't want her to apologize, I wanted him to apologize and be nice to Paul. Accept him. I wanted him to be the dad I always wanted him to be. The dad he was supposed to be. Not the dad that only wanted to be a dad when it suited him. I blinked away my tears and I felt Paul's warm arm around my waist. He gently tightened his hold letting me know that he was here._

"_I think it's time to go." I said. My voice cracked slightly and I gave my mother a silent warning not to interfere. She smiled, pecked my forehead before shooing us out of the house._

"_Have fun sweetheart." _

"_Thanks Mrs Lynam." Paul said cheerily as he waved at her. His hand was clutching mine protectively and I let him pull me towards his car._

"_You alright?" He asked as he pulled me to him. I put my hands on the buttons of his shirt and I tugged at it. Merely because I needed something to do with it. No other thoughts or meaning were involved. I felt his warm hands on my back. I kissed the side of his neck and nodded. I was fine, slightly embarrassed but nothing I couldn't handle._

"_I'll be fine Paul. Let's go." _

"_Wait!" He said and before I knew it he had reached into the car and pulled out a beautiful bouquet of lilies. _

"_I love you!" I murmured kissing him on the lips as I pulled him down to compensate the height difference. _

_^*^_

After that hell broke loose. I wasn't truly sure what happened everything was blurry and it all happened in like a spam of a few minutes. I'm sure I must've missed so many things to make a clear story out of it. But all I knew was that I saw something. Something big! Something that scared the hell out of me and that something made Paul pissed as hell.

*^*

_  
"What was that?" My voice sounded squeaky. I looked at Paul as he stepped on the gas. His jaw tightened and his hands were shaking. _

"_Paul?" My voice sounded hesitant. "Paul, stop the car!" _

"_Julie not now!" Paul responded._

"_Paul! I saw something. You saw it too didn't you?" I asked. The flash of brown was hard not to see but it seemed like Paul didn't see it._

"_No Julie, I didn't see it." The way he pronounced the words made me feel little. He was patronizing me. I narrowed my eyes and I clutched my knees as a flash of red went through my body. _

"_Stop the car." I hissed. I looked at Paul but he didn't oblige._

"_I said stop the car!" Paul stepped on the brakes and the car came to a stop. I fumbled with my seatbelt and got out of the car slamming the door loudly. Paul was next to me in a matter of seconds. Sometimes the speed of this boy surprised me immensely._

"_You are either hiding something or you're really blind!" I hissed angrily. I couldn't believe that Paul was acting like this. I knew he saw it. I just wished he told me the truth._

"_Julie, you're being ridiculous, I didn't see anything. Can you get in the car now?" Paul asked. I narrowed my eyes at him as he pulled at my wrist. I slapped his shoulder but he didn't let go. I ignored the throbbing in my hand._

"_Stop it! I don't know what game you're playing but it's time to come clean!" I shouted. Paul's brown eyes flashed with anger and he dropped my wrist immediately. _

"_I'm not playing a game Julie! You're overreacting. There's nothing here, see?" He said loudly, motioning with his hands that the road was empty. I looked at the field next to the road which bordered the forest and peered into the trees. I didn't see something or I that's what I tried to tell myself._

"_Whatever."_

_Suddenly out of nowhere I did see something. And for the first time I got a clear view of what was going on. I finally had a word to give the gigantic beast that stood only a few feet away from me. A bear. It had to be a bear. Only it was far too doglike to be a bear. Yet it was too big to be a wolf. Or was it? My eyes snapped to Paul and I could see him shaking in anger. My eyes snapped back to the beast in front of us but he was gone. My feet stumbled and I fell on my back. _

"_Jules!" Paul's concerned voice said and he hauled me back up in a matter of seconds and as he practically carried me back to the car before getting in himself I knew he had seen it to. This time there was no escaping._

"_You can't tell me that you didn't see it now." I told Paul. He kept quiet the whole way back home. _

^*^

This was only the beginning of it all. We hadn't brought up the whole situation anymore. I didn't want to talk about it because I knew that Paul wouldn't be helpful. I might as well figure it out myself. But somehow Paul was on edge the whole time. I couldn't figure out why though. At first I thought it was me but he didn't change his attitude towards me but he was more careful when we were out. Like he was expecting that thing to appear again. It worried me though. Especially when he had skipped another day of school.

But than the day of a bonfire came up and Kim had dragged me to it. Paul was already there and at first I thought everything was fine. We flirted, joked around. Or at least I did that. When I kissed him, he kissed me back with such passion it made my knees weak. It was a sign that nothing was wrong, was it? Or so I thought. When Paul had pulled me away from the crowd to take a walk I knew something was wrong.

And than he said the words I dreaded most.

"_I can't do this anymore Julie. I can't." _

"_What do you mean?" _

"_It's over Julie." _

**_A/N: *Hides* Uhh I guess It would be too much to ask from you guys to review!? Right?_**


	16. You're The One, You're The One

**_Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? Fine, it's not mine! Happy?_**

**_A/N: Aha a quick update, lol! Anyway, this'll be the last chapter for a while because right now things are going pretty bad. I had the most crappiest day ever and well I'm just exhausted, but don't worry I'm not abandoning this story, I just need a time out which I'll have when school will end in a few days. Anyway, I hope you'll like this chapter, and you'll be just as great with the reviews like before! I'm very happy with the feedback this story is getting. Anyway, review and keep the tissues ready! Enjoy:_**

_You're The One, You're The One_

_I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was ending it? Of all people, or all couples. I had thought that we would be the ones that would stick with each other for ever. I knew it was a silly thought. Heck, maybe even childish. But it was one of the things I was one hundred percent certain of that I could rely on. So him telling me that it should be over felt surreal. None existent. I looked at the Kim who was standing with Jared a few yards away. I could see that she knew that this was coming and I felt a stab of betrayal, but it was not as big as the stab of pain that wrecked my whole body. I had to force my body to calm down and I realized that the sharp shallow breaths were mine. I put one hand on my mouth and looked at Paul. His eyes seemed pained and it almost had me thinking that maybe I was imagining things._

"_W-what?" I croaked. My voice was high pitched and unstable. _

"_It's not working Julie." With every word he said a sharp pain ripped through my heart. _

"_That's not true." I murmured. I hadn't realized that I had talked back. That I was talking back to him now._

_"You know it is. Jules." He put his hand on my cheek and I stepped back letting his hand fall back. I didn't want his touch right now. I wanted him to shut up so we could forget that he had uttered those heart breaking words._

"_No." I shook my head, forcing the tears that were blurring my vision to evaporate. "It's not. I'm not sure how you got that idea because in my experience everything was fine. We don't have any problems whatsoever. So I don't understand why you're telling me this." I looked him in the eye and I felt cold. _

"_Julie. You're not looking at the bigger picture." He said. His voice sounded exasperated and it made me question about the honesty of his feelings. _

"_Bigger picture? What bigger picture?" I spat._

"_Julie." He growled. I saw his hands shake in the darkness. "Us. What else?" _

"_Look it doesn't matter, I'm sure we can work things out." I quickly said. Feeling immediately bad that I had snapped at him. _

"_We can't." He replied. He didn't say much. He was just stating things. Simply responding in a short impersonal way._

"_Why not?" Scared to hear the answer. My hands felt numb with the cold but most of all, numb of feeling. Because I was feeling overwhelmed. _

"_I don't want to. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel like I'm being hold prisoner. If it helps. It's not you it's me. I'm simply not cut out for this." My heart broke. He had used the 'it's not you but me' card on me and that was the worst thing that he could say. _

"_We shouldn't push ourselves into something that wouldn't work out anyway. It would be pretending something we're not. We're not supposed to be together, and it's best if we end it as soon as possible." Paul continued. He wasn't looking at me. But neither was I looking at him. I didn't want to see those big brown eyes that would pull me in. I didn't want to see the honesty in his words. Most of all. I didn't want to see that he didn't love me._

"_Okay." It seemed the only word that I could say. The only word that seemed adequate at the time. It was also the only word he would want to hear. I might as well help him._

"_Okay?" He repeated. I felt him come closer and I took another step back. If we were going to do this we might as well keep our distance. Why not start right away?_

"_Okay." I repeated once more. My voice seemed dead and before I knew he had walked away. Leaving me alone with my torturous thoughts. He didn't want me. He never did. It was all a game. He wasn't cut out for this. That's why he had to end it. He didn't want to hurt me. It was the best for us._

_A strangling kind of noise escaped my mouth and I sank to the ground. Ignoring the cold it radiated as it seeped through my bones chilling me to the core. I drawled my knees to my chest and hugged them, not knowing what else to do. Tears made their way down my cheeks as sobs made its way out of my throat. _

"_Shh." I knew that it was Kim who held me close and I clutched her arm in response. I didn't want anything else. I didn't expect anything else. I just wanted her to stay and give me the comfort I needed._

_It wasn't enough though. I needed more and with every tear that fell my heart shattered in to more little pieces. He had done it on purpose. He had broken my heart on purpose._

"_He didn't say he didn't love me anymore!" _

^*^

Days went by quickly. I suppose that's what heartache did to you. It made you unaware of the time that passed you by. I held on to the only certainty I had left and that was the simple routine I had planned out before I met Paul. I didn't skip anymore. I was present at every class. But I wasn't really there. If you understand what I mean. My heart and my mind was somewhere where I wouldn't be troubled and I was fine with that. At home nothing had changed. The only person that had felt a change in me was my mother. Dad was clueless as ever, and vicious like always. But he at least kept his mouth shut about _him_. I couldn't bear to hear his name. I didn't want to hear it anyway.

Kim and Summer remained the same. Didn't push me to talk. Kim even managed to stay away from Jared when I was around so I wouldn't have to see the lovey-dovey stuff. Summer didn't say anything about being angry about before. She didn't give me the 'I told you' speech. She stayed and was the friend before all the drama. But even though Kim and Summer were with me and at times Seth as well. Something kept coming back to plunge that knife that Paul had placed before. Something just wasn't right.

The one thing that stayed with me the whole time was the fact that even though he was the one to end it. He missed the key ingredient to really end it. The factor our whole relationship revolved around. The one thing that really, truly mattered. The three words that made such a difference.

"I love you." Those words were now an echo. They never sounded as beautiful in my memories as in real life. Maybe because they held a different meaning than at the time it was said.

I angrily got on my feet as I descended the stairs from my room to the living room. Dad wasn't home, like always. Mom wasn't either. But that didn't matter. It felt good to be home alone. Maybe I would finally get some answers. It had been a week since that unfortunate day. I wondered how it would look like if I went to Emily's house. Maybe he would be there?

It wasn't an easy thing to do. Barge in there and command Paul to tell me the truth. But it may work. It may give me answers. Answers that I deserve to know seeing as Paul was my love. My first love, my only love for a long time. And my last, I wouldn't want to be with someone else while my heart was in somebody else's heart.

I shrugged into my boots as I saw the rain pour down and shrugged on my coat. I took the keys off the table and in less than a few minute I had managed to get in the car. I carefully manoeuvred my car to Emily's cottage and hoped that he would be there. I remember Seth telling me he spends a lot of time there if he wasn't at school or at home. I turned off the engine and I let the keys in the car. I might need that. I got out of the car and ran to the house, up the steps. I knocked on the door a few times and I could hear the rumble of conversation from outside. The door opened and I saw Emily in the doorway. Or at least, I thought this was Emily. Her scars assured me it was here. She looked at me with a frown.

"Can I help you?" She asked friendly.

"Is Paul here?" I asked. Didn't even bother to beat around the bush. She nodded and reluctantly opened the door. I went inside and as the door clicked close behind me I saw several head turn my way. Seth. Sam. Jared. Embry. Quil. Jacob. Brady and of course Paul. Only he wasn't paying attention. He was simply staring at the table and maybe he was just as miserable as I was and we would be able to put this behind us. Laugh about it in a few months.

"Paul. There's someone here for you." Emily said softly but Paul only grunted and I took a spontaneous decision. I walked past everyone and stood right in front of Paul, on the other side of the table.

"Paul." I said softly. He looked up startled as he saw me. I didn't beat around the bush. I had to get it out because it was the only thing I could do. The only thing I needed to do.

"Julie." He said. It sounded tired. Pained.

"Paul, before you say something. I know you're angry. But I just want you to tell me something." I crawled on the table and stood. Towering above everyone else.

"Julie, you'll fall. Get down." I ignored him.

"Because your break up is missing one key ingredient." I continued. I tried to focus on Paul only and not on the audience we had. Even though they were polite enough to move to the other room, I knew they could hear everything.

"The only ingredient actually."

"And that is?" Paul replied, not catching on.

"That you don't love me anymore." It was out. I looked at Paul as he looked at me. I tried to be strong, and tried to keep the tears from not spilling.

"Julie."

"No listen. I love you _so_ much and I want to be with you now and tomorrow and what ever comes after that. But seeing as we're not on the same page I honestly need to hear from you that you don't love me anymore."

"Julie, don't ask me that. I can't." Paul said and he stood up holding out his hand to help me from the table.

"Paul. Tell me. If you don't love me I swear I won't bother you anymore and I'll go to school but I'll keep my distance. Just be honest. I think I deserve to know." Paul groaned in pain and he shoved his hands in his pockets. I felt the tiniest bit of hope when I saw him look away.

"I don't love you anymore." I closed my eyes. It seemed like I was standing there for eternity while in fact I was only standing there for a few minutes. I opened my eyes again and had only one thing left do. I started to climb off the table.

"Julie I-"

"Oh my god." I cut him off. I awkwardly got back down and saw Paul move to me.

"Get away from me Paul." I cried out. "Get out of here." Paul didn't complain or protest he just left and I sat down on the chair holding my head in my arms. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off.

"I have to go." I mumbled as I saw Seth standing next to me. I couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes. Because it was a mere reflection of what I was feeling.

**_A/N: Obviously I got inspired by the OC at the end, so they can take credit for that! Secondly, this chapter has been written a long time ago anyway. I hope you'll review and let me know your thoughts!_**


	17. Sur Le Fil

_**Disclaimer: You know it! Nothing mine!**_

**_A/N: First of all I like to apologise for the long wait! I'm so sorry but life caught up with me. But the summer is here and I plan to write a lot. Or at least, that's what I wanna do! Second of all, OMG the reviews! WE HIT 200!!!! EEEK You made me so happy when I came back from my holiday! So here is the chapter, I'm sorry for the crappiness! It's not that good though, and it ended up totally different than expected but ah well! Here it is, enjoy:_**

**_P.S: Please read my other Imprinting fic : Another Form Of Breathing. It's an Embry/OC but with loads of Jacob! Let me know what you think!_**

_Sur Le Fil_

There isn't much I can say right now. Everything feels the same. A strange numbness had come over me and I can't find a way out. Who'd ever thought that the world would keep spinning while my whole life just fell apart? It may sound like an exaggeration but it's not. For me it actually sounds like an understatement. It doesn't happen often you'd find the love of your life as an eighteen year old. I found it. Yet I managed to lose it. I wonder how I'd get through the few upcoming months. I was leaving at the end of August for college. It was the end of May now.

There wasn't much I did for the past few days. Mum told me I looked like a walking corpse. I thanked her for noticing. I refused to go to school but seeing it was my senior year and exams were in a few days it wouldn't do me any good to skip. So I forced myself to get out of bed every single morning with only one light that shone in the dark which was my mind. And that light was the one thing that kept me going, if I got through the few months of school and managed to keep my indifference towards Paul and his minions I would have a bright future ahead of me.

I'd go to college away from all of them with whole new people, where nobody knew me and vice versa. It was the one thing I looked forward to. After all, everything here was gone and there wasn't much left for me here to stay.

*^*

I was accepted! I could barely grasp the fact I got in. I was accepted. My hands were shaking as I held the two big envelopes. Suddenly I realized I had to tell someone. I painfully ignored the first name that got up and I ignored the ache it brought along with it. I had a painful grip on the letters as I sprinted down the stairs to the kitchen, where my mum was.

"Mu!" I yelled as I ran through the living room to the kitchen.

"What is it honey?" My mother asked as I she was standing in front of the stove. Cooking. Something she loved to do. I held up the envelope in my hands. Her eyes went wide before she recognized the address which was scribbled on it. Academy of Art Washington.

"I got in." I started to cry. For the first time in days I was crying for something that was a good thing. It seemed like the tears wouldn't stop.

"I got in." I repeated again and I ran over to her as she too began to cry and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her happy tears on my cheek as they clung to mine and couldn't help but jump around like a lunatic.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart." I loved her. So much it hurt. I could see in her dark eyes she was proud of me. I was proud of myself. I got in! After all of the hard work I had done for my portfolio I had created they had decided that I was qualified enough to get in. How in earth was that possible?

Because you had an incredible muse.

I ignored that little voice and brought my attention back to my mother. She was chatting away and I hadn't even realized that she was talking to me. I brushed away the tears on my face and listened to her chatter. A smile on her face was so radiant I couldn't help but keep smiling myself.

"Your dad will be so proud! Come one, let's go out tonight and celebrate?" I pondered about this but decided to agree. It wasn't like I had somebody to occupy me for the rest of the night. Those nights were gone. I was on my own now.

"Do you think dad will like the idea of me going to Washington?" I asked my mother tentatively. She shrugged and I could see the hesitation in her eyes but she covered it up soon.

"I'm not sure but don't you worry about that dear. I'll talk to him and we'll make tonight your night. Alright? Come on now, go and get dressed. I'll call your dad to make reservations and we'll pick him up before we'll go to the restaurant." I nodded as she picked up the phone.

My feet dragged me up the stairs to my room. I always loved my room; it was my sanctuary where nobody had any control except me. The left wall where my bed stood had a forest painted on it. I remember my uncle and me painting it. I was twelve. Of course I asked him to do the painting because he was so much better than I but he refused to do it alone because he wanted to put my own elements into it. So I did. It still was his creation though.

I sighed and walked to my closet and thought what would be appropriate to wear. I pulled the little black dress I loved so much but when I held it in front of me I realized that this dress wasn't something I could wear anymore. Too many reminders of the nights I had spend with _him_.

Something suddenly snapped. Tears suddenly started to fill my eyes and spill over. I hadn't cried since that unfortunate night where Paul had broken up with me. I hadn't cried when I came back from Emily's cottage where I had tried to make amends. I hadn't cried about him for so many days that something pathetic, like a dress, made me cry. I clutched the dress to my chest hoping it would help dull the vivid ache that was supposed to be my heart.

I wanted to hate him so much the thought of hating him hurt more than the actually hate I was trying to harbour for him. It didn't work though, I only wanted him more, so much more that the pain overruled every other thought. I had no idea what to do. The thing I did know was that he was the only one I wanted. I suppose he was the only guy who would endure my silly rants and tantrums; he was the only one that called me cute when I had fallen in the mud two weeks ago. He loved the fact that I was covered in paint every single time I worked on a painting. It was endearing and cute. The exact words he used.

Tears kept oozing out of my eyes like there was no tomorrow, and there was no stopping at all. I wanted the tears to stop because I knew that crying wouldn't help. It's not like Paul would come back and we'd be happy again. I thought about him. Paul. His name alone would make me laugh. Right now it only increased the tears. I gave another spluttered sob and before I knew it steps were making its way up the stairs and my bedroom door opened. Revealing a confused mother. She looked at me with a frown on her face. Probably questioning my tears.

I quickly brushed them away and tried making a semi dignified explanation to my tears but before I knew it tears had spilled over again and I had no choice but to sob again. It was like she didn't even need to know to know how I felt. In a few strides she had made her way to me and pulled me close to her and simply murmured soothing words in my ear like every mother would do and for now it was enough.

Because even I know that she wasn't the one that would rid me of the pain and the tears Paul had caused. If someone was capable of stopping them and getting rid of them it was only him. But he was far too engrossed in his own problems to acknowledge that I, too, was suffering. I wished he knew, it'd make things so much easier. How ever, if he knew, I wouldn't be in my room crying so hard.

Yet I couldn't help but wish he would know. Hoping he would feel a bit of regret.

*^*

"Julie, did you finish your history essay?" Kim asked. I nodded my head as I handed it over to her. I knew she hadn't finished it. She was always too late handing over essays or so. It wasn't that she couldn't do them or anything, or was far too lazy. She just didn't have the discipline to hand them over in time. She just made them on the due date and would hand it over a few days later. It of course aggravates the teachers but they're used to it by now. It annoys Summer as well because she's the most studious one out of us all.

"God Jules, how long is it?"

I shrugged. "Around twelve pages why?"

"Nothing." She mumbled though it was obvious she thought I was a nutcase for making such a big essay. You can say I was inspired to write a thorough essay. I didn't have much to do anyways.

Kim was staying with me and we were sitting in the front yard of my house. For once the sun shining and it wasn't too cold though we were both wearing our warm sweatshirts and boots. I felt comfortable and as my I had my school books stashed next to my seat I couldn't help but wonder why my life had fallen back into this routine so easily. Was it because I didn't put any effort in it? I shrugged off those thoughts quickly and focused on the string of words that were placed in front of me. It was easy to ignore it.

Suddenly I felt like I was being suffocated by this familiar feeling. The feeling of normality. I didn't want to feel normal. It made me feel so helpless because I'm dead sure there was someone else who felt just like I did right now and that thought made me wince. This feeling is so normal, so frequent because it happens to somebody on a daily basis, I would grow past it soon enough.

"I _have_ to get out of here." I muttered as I got on my feet and made my way out of the front yard. I could hear Kim indignantly call out my name but I simply told her I needed time. How much time could I need though? It's been a month. Paul hadn't given me the impression that he cared. In fact I don't think I've ever seen him move from one girl to another that fast. He was with Fallon Weeds last week and before that he apparently was dating someone named Valerie. I immediately hated them. Because they had what I didn't. At least he didn't flaunt them when I was around.

Would that be a sign of regret?

I made my way to the first beach and remembered when Paul had showed me how he would cliff dive. He didn't let me though, that wasn't a loss of course. I didn't even want to in the first place. But it felt nice seeing him like that. As I plopped down on the pebbles I heard the waves crash against the rocks. It wasn't that violent like usual. It was the only thing I could hear next to the insects that always made their presence known. The sky was blue, with not too many clouds today. The sun was there but it was in the wrong place in the sky, nonetheless it was a normal day for La Push.

I felt at ease and I took a deep breath. It felt good to be alone again. After my little cry fest my mother had told Summer and Kim what had happened and had asked them to keep an eye on me. Quite frankly, she forced all my friends to not leave me alone. And that's exactly what they did. Summer and Kim went with me to the bathroom. Seth walked me to every class I didn't have with Summer and Kim. Paul ditched every class we had together; either that or he changed his time table. I'm not sure which one because none of them made me feel better.

I got up again and started to walk further away from civilisation and further into the dark, ominous woods. I was planning to take a hike but I knew it wouldn't be too responsible for me to do so. Nobody knew I was here in the first place and since La Push bordered a very large forest it would be wise to tell somebody you're there. I suppose my rational side had left me the day Paul did because I could care less and took the plunge anyway. A little hike couldn't mind right?

How wrong I was though. My foot guided me the whole time but I knew my feet and my brains were never connected so it was only natural for me to get lost. I could care less though. I felt completely at ease, there was no fear involved. Not even when the sun had started to set and the trees had grown thicker the dark creeping up on me. When the dark had completely set in and the cold was starting to seep through my clothes I grasped the severity of my idiocy. This had to be the most stupid thing I've ever done.

"Hey!" I screamed and turned around just to see a nervous Jacob Black in front of me.

"Jacob!" I put my hand to my chest and could hear the soft thuds that my heart was making. I wondered if he could hear my heart beating out of my chest. I was relieved though, that it was only Jacob, it could've been someone else, someone who was just as stupid as I was to get lost in a forest or it could've been someone who expected people to get lost in the forest. If you know what I mean.

"Julie right?" Jacob asked and I nodded my head. I was sorta surprised he knew my name, but he used to hang out with Paul so it was sorta logical that he knew the girlfriend of one of his friends.

"Right, what are you doing here all alone?" He didn't even wait for an explanation but beckoned me to follow him. I followed him, too stunned to even react. As I tried to match Jacob's long strides I suddenly realized that Jacob was here with me. Why was he here? What was he doing here? I knew that I was just a nutcase but Jacob doesn't look like a person who would get lost in the forest.

Ah I forgot, he wasn't lost. I was.

"I got lost." I said. I was trying to break the silence.

"You shouldn't wander alone though. What if you ran into someone less pleasant than me?" I smiled. Pleasant? Ah well.

"But I didn't though, so no harm done." I responded. Another silence came upon us and this time I didn't mind. It was actually comforting. Again I felt relief wash over me. I was so glad that Jacob had found me. I was ready to panic but by some miracle he found me. It was strange I didn't notice him though. Was I that much in my own thoughts that I couldn't hear him approach me? I must have been.

"Julie. You shouldn't let Paul get to you so much." My breath caught in my throat and I looked at him with eyes wide open.

"What?" I breathed out.

"Just because he is being stupid doesn't mean you should be stupid as well." I frowned at Jacob. He wasn't looking at me though; he kept his eyes in front of me.

"Me being stupid?" I hissed. 'What the hell gave you that idea?"

"The fact that I found you all alone in the forest." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Who told you anyway?" I didn't like the fact he was reprimanding me. I knew it was a stupid thing to do. I was too late, but still. Besides I was alright now. We were almost out of the forest anyway.

"Kim." Jacob said.

"Figured." Kim was prone to exaggeration. I knew that. Everyone knew that, hence why she wasn't taking seriously often but she must've been really panicking if she managed to get someone looking for me.

The trees thinned out and before I knew it we were in La Push again. So maybe I wasn't that far away from home after all but it sure felt that way when I was back there. I opened my mouth to thank Jacob; after all he made an effort to find me so the least I could do was thank him when suddenly a howl erupted from the trees behind us. I stopped walking and grabbed Jacob's arm. He didn't say anything about the fact that I was digging my nails into his skin. He didn't even notice. I looked at Jacob and saw that his eyes were narrowed and it seemed like he was sniffing.

Wait sniffing? As in smelling?

Suddenly he grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of him and twisted me so I would face him. His abnormally large hands, larger than Paul's, were resting on my shoulder holding me so tightly it almost hurt.

"Go to Emily and tell her I send you there. You stay there till one of us come to pick you up. Okay?" He didn't wait for a reply but let me go as he nudged me into the right direction before he turned around and went back in to the forest.

"Jacob!" I yelled. I could still see him. He was pulling his shirt over his head when he turned around in my direction. His eyes found me when the strangest thing ever happened. I wasn't so sure what to expect of it though. It scared me but thrilled me at the same time.

My heart was pumping louder than before and I was pretty damn sure I wasn't breathing but I had no control over my body's reaction. Whatever I was witnessing was really defying nature but I was also sure that my eyes weren't playing some kind of trick on me.

I'm not sure of you would believe me. But I think I just saw Jacob Black turn into a wolf.

I didn't have too much time to think it through though. Because one second I was looking at the reddish brown wolf when suddenly the ground was trudging forward. I never felt it happen. It just happened. And I had no control over it whatsoever.

So I just closed my eyes and ignored the loud sharp cry which seemed quite familiar.

**_A/N: Please review, you make me write more!_**


	18. Wolves In Their Clothes

_**Disclaimer: Do I have to say it?**_

**_A/N: Short chapter, but on the bright side it is written in Paul's point of view. I thought it was time to clear a few things out. Next chapter will be out soon and I love to take a second and just hug ALL of you reviewers out there! I absolutely love you guys, which is WHY the next chapter will be out in a few days! I'm already working on it! So please do me a favour and review review review! You keep me going! Enjoy:_**

_Wolves In Their Clothes_

**Paul's POV**

When life forces you to make a choice, you make it. You don't turn your back on it and ignore the little man on your shoulder who keeps shouting in your ear that you have to break up with Julie because she is in danger with you close to her. Even though I love Julie and even though I can't physically live without her because she's my imprint. I don't have a choice.

That all doesn't matter.

Because you see. If I ignored it Julie would be dead. And that would be more than I could bear.

Us, being apart, that wasn't permanent. I was planning on going back to her and apologize to her so she'd take me back and all would be fine again. But than I realized that it was more complicated than that. Because you see, there wouldn't be a mess in the first place if I was honest to her in the first place. Told her openly about the fact that I change in to a grey wolf. That there were dangerous vampires in the woods and that she shouldn't wander off without someone knowing it.

But I wasn't honest to her and now we've broken up and I had to hurt her in order for the break up to be true. Somehow I can't get those brown eyes out of my head. All hurt. But we still had to get rid of that red-haired leech so till then I wasn't planning on reaching out to Julie. So I still had to hold on and hope she wouldn't move on. Because I knew Julie, she would make mistakes in order to prove a point and later on she'd be ashamed of her actions and in order to stop her from going that far I had to kill the vampire.

Our pack was motivated yeah, but with Jacob all hurt with Bella leaving him it was a bit hard to concentrate. With Jacob all depressed the rest of the pack felt down as well. Not only because we could feel whatever he was feeling when we phased but also because he was our brother. Our stupid brother that got involved with the vampire girl. But still our brother.

If only Leah knew to shut her pie hole.

"Oh you _got_ to be kidding me." Leah exclaimed. I inwardly groaned hearing her nasal voice and almost moved away from the table when she barged in. I knew she was hurt, hell I think everyone in La Push knew that Leah Clearwater was hurt. But her constant nagging and bitching about it made it real hard for us to sympathize. Though I doubt she would want us to sympathize.

"Not now Leah." Quil groaned as he halted in his actions. He was shovelling one of Emily's muffins in his mouth; actually, everyone was shovelling food in their mouths. Sam was here, Quil and Embry and Seth. Jared was patrolling with Jacob.

"You know?" Leah began as she made herself comfortable on the other side of the table, spoiling my view. "I had a very interesting dream last night."

"And you're telling us why?" Quil replied. His eyes were still on the remaining muffins and he swiftly grabbed two more and put both of them in his mouth. I don't think he even chewed.

"Because I dreamed making out with Paul's imprint, that's why I'm telling you." Leah said looking thoroughly disgusted. I clenched my jaw together and focused on my untouched plate of food. Though we all knew Leah was all bitter and was just aiming to hurt us didn't mean she should cross a line.

"Really Paul, desperate much?" Leah said as she grabbed a muffin and took a bite. I could hear everyone halt their breathings as they awaited my reaction.

"Leah that's enough!" Sam said with authority. I saw Leah glare at Sam from the other side of the table.

"Sam I wasn't talking to you." Leah retorted and turned her sharp eyes back to me. Leah was by no means an unattractive girl, quite the opposite actually, there was only one thing that scared people away and that was her attitude.

"You're telling me I'm desperate?" I hissed. "Hypocrite much Leah? You're the one still drooling over Sam, how do you think all of us feel when we have to look at Sam through your eyes?"

"PAUL!" Sam shouted. He had gotten up from the table and was now forcing me to shut up. "That's enough, both of you. Stop behaving like children."

"That's just disturbing." Embry muttered.

"Disturbing?" Leah shouted, I knew I had touched a sensitive snare but she was asking for it. "You're the one dating other girls just to make sure you're imprint won't ask any more questions, you're so damn focused on hurting her that I honestly don't understand what she sees in you."

"I agree." Seth suddenly said. I looked at him and I could feel my image starting to blur. My hands were shaking and I clenched my fist.

"You're playing with her emotions dude, that's not cool." Seth said and I glared at him. "She's my friend Paul and if you won't tell her I will."

"No one is telling Julie. Seth it's not in your hands to tell her, Julie is Paul's business not yours." Sam said calmly. I ignored him.

"You're not entitled to say anything. Your imprint doesn't even want to be near you so stop telling me how to deal with mine." I hissed.

"That was out of line!" Leah shouted. I got up and grabbed her shoulders and forced her against the wall.

"Then stop provoking me." I hissed. I would never ever hit a girl, not even Leah but she was sure as hell pressing my buttons.

"Not in my house." I felt Sam grab the back of my shirt as he practically threw me out of the house. Leah got the same treatment. I tore myself out of his grip and started to shake.

"You deal with your differences somewhere else." Sam said coolly before he got back in. I could see Leah glare at the house before she turned her eyes on me.

"Well done Matson!" She taunted and before I knew it I had phased.

Phasing was a complete different experience and very painful the first time. But slowly you get used to the fact that you feel like your limbs are burning as your bones start to shift. I personally never got used to it all but since my anger forced me to phase quite often I had no other choice than get used to it. And that's what I did.

I growled at Leah and took a few steps in her direction. I wasn't planning on attacking her, just scaring her. But Leah is a tough cookie to crack and I had no other option than turn away. Sometimes it felt good to be on four paws.

**^*^**

"Paul, listen to me." I heard Jared's voice and I rolled my eyes, knowing what he was going to tell me.

"If you're going to say _one_ word about Julie I will personally scrape your intestines from the floor when I'm done with you." I growled. "And box them for Kim. So think about it."

"You're not being serious."

"Dead serious." I responded and I got into my car. I liked my car. The perks of having rich parents. I wasn't bragging or so, I didn't care about money if that's what you mean, it's just, my car is my sweetheart. I love it.

Jared opened the passenger door and got in himself. I knew what he was going to say but I wasn't interested. Nobody knew what was better for Julie than herself. I didn't even know what was best for her, so I even stopped trying. I started the car and sped off the interstate leaving Port Angeles. I was glad to get away for a while but I craved going back to La Push. It was home after all.

"Paul." Jared's voice broke the silence and I grunted in response. "Will you ever get off your high horse and admit that you made a mistake?"

"Nope." I popped the P without even realizing what I had said. I sighed and focused on my driving instead.

"I'm not wrong." I said a little while after that. How hypocrite of me though. I knew I was wrong but this was better for Julie. Easier. And the same went for me. It was stupid of me to think that imprinting could tie me to one woman. No that was wrong. Julie was the one woman for me, but since the leeches were around it would be better to cut off ever liability. And just like that I insulted every memory of Julie.

"You're being an ass." Jared whistled lowly. "Stubborn man."

"Jared, I'll kick your ass out of my car if you don't shut the hell up." I growled. Julie wasn't a liability, she wasn't a weakness, she was my strength and the reason I was able to get stronger in many other ways. I even managed to my temper under control and it was just because her mere presence influenced me in every way.

"You know I don't agree with the way you're handling things, right?" Jared was starting to get a pain in the ass. I knew he was jesting me, I knew he was trying to talk sense into me. But I wasn't having that.

"So you keep telling me." I responded coolly. I glanced at Jared through the corner of my eye when his phone went off. He picked up.

"Yeah?"

"Sweetheart." Kim. I should've known. Jared was the most whipped out of all of us.

"Wait what?" My interest was caught and I couldn't help but frown when I saw the worry in his eyes.

"Kim, go to Emily." Jared's tone was serious. It could only mean one thing. The leeches were back. I stepped on the gas as I sped down the highway.

"Don't worry sweetheart, we'll take care of it." Jared soothed. "You sure Julie is with Jacob?" I blacked out for a second. What did Julie have to do with all of this?

"We got a problem." Jared confessed once he had hung up. "The red head is back, they need us."

"What does that have to do with Julie?" I demanded. I looked at Jared and saw he was hesitant to answer. "Damnitt Jared!" I shouted.

"She got lost in the woods but Jacob got to her in time. She should be safe now." Jared told me.

"Should be? That's not enough!" I yelled.

The rush of protectiveness I felt towards Julie was overwhelming. The loyalty I felt towards her was astounding and I realized, just like that, that living without her was no option. And it was time for me to gain back her trust. If only I wasn't too late.

**_A/N: You know the drill! Thank you for reading!_**


	19. And Now It's Out

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except Julie and the characters you don't recognize.**_

**_A/N: So here is the next chapter, I was planning on posting it before but than the site had some technical problems, hence the little delay. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed Paul's POV, trust me, it won't be the last time, his story is also very important. A lot of people have been asking me about Summer and Seth and I think I'm going to do a spin off, a story which is purely about Summer and Seth, since there are a lot of questions that can be answered with that story. But before I do that, I want to finish this story, trust me, the end is near but with the upcoming sequel and all!_**

**_Yes there is a sequel for this story, but before we reach that point, I'll finish this story._**

**_Another thing, I'm so happy with the support I've been getting for this story, it's so nice to have all these people review and you guys just make my day. Also thank you to the people who put my story on alert, maybe I'll hear something from you guys that'll be awesome. And last, I wanna thank the anonymous reviewers, I read those reviews as well and they are just as great!_**

**_Anyway, after this chapter, the next will be out in a week or so, I'm very busy this week but I'll make time. I'm also going back to fix my other chapters, as in grammar mistakes and stuff like that. I'm also adding a song list, since my chapter titles are inspired by those. Anyway, sorry for the long AN, but I'm just on a roll again and I got my groove back again! So here is the chapter and enjoy:_**

**_P.S: Please review my new story This Way. If you're an CSI Miami fan you'll probably like it =]_**

_And Now __It's Out_

My eyes opened on their own and I knew that I didn't really faint, merely lost control of my emotions for a while. I put my hands on the floor and got up and peered into the dark, in the same directions I saw Jacob _change._ He wasn't there anymore. I tried wrapping my mind around what I just saw and couldn't help but feel like someone was playing a trick on me. It wasn't possible. I turned so I was sitting on my knees and took a few deep breaths. A cold breeze brought out shivers and I wrapped my arms around each other.

"No." I murmured. I refused to believe it. No, Jacob did not just. No. He is not a wolf. He is not. I got up and turned around and walked back to my house. But than I remembered what Jacob had asked me to do.

_"Go to Emily." _My mind told me but I wasn't so sure if I should be going there. After all, last time I was there, things turned a bit ugly for me. Why would I go there?

Suddenly things started to make sense. The constant absence of Paul and his friends. The heat and the way all of them grew up physically. Something which could be seen as scientifically impossible. The way he used to sneak around. Him disappearing in the forest at the most random times. Paul was in on the secret.

And he never told me.

"JULIE!" I turned around and saw to my surprise Jared and behind him Paul. My heart stopped beating and my breath halted in my throat. I took a step backwards as they caught up with me.

"Where's Jacob?" Jared demanded as Paul suddenly grasped my arm. I tried pulling away but no avail. He was stronger than me that was for sure.

"Let me go." I hissed angrily. Paul frowned at me and I could hit him for the way he thought about me. I wasn't _that_ naïve. I may have been stupid enough for him to fool but I wasn't going to let him fool me once more.

You know what they say. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

I wasn't letting that happen. I used my other arm to push him away as he somehow manoeuvred me behind him as he peered into the dark. Just like Jacob a few minutes ago he was sniffing the air. _Wolf._

"Let me go! I swear to God I'll scream." I threatened as I started pulling with my weight.

"Julie, stop being so damn childish and just answer the question. Where did Jacob go?" Paul snapped and he glared at me through the corner of his eyes. He never really looked me in the eye. I raised my foot and tried kicking him in the shins but he dodged the kick.

"Paul, let her go." Jared demanded and with one final look he dropped my arm. I grasped it with my other hand and held it to my chest. I knew it was going to bruise.

Suddenly tears started to burn in my eyes. This always happened. I would start crying when I was angry. And just like always I felt the same anger burn through my veins as tears started to spill over. Paul reached out to me but I stepped away.

"I know what you've been hiding. Both of you." I stated looking at them. Paul and Jared both froze. Paul even paled and I could see his hands start to shake. I looked at him wide eyed; for once I didn't care about his feelings.

"What do you mean?" Paul asked lowly. He sounded even scarier when he was beyond angry.

"Don't act dumb Paul. You know what I mean." I hissed. "How long do you think it would've taken me to find out? Huh?" I brushed away the tears furiously.

"The sneaking around? The strange excuses you used, the secrets? Do you really think I was that stupid not to notice?" I felt strangely insulted. I just wanted him to be honest with me and now it was too late.

"I know you're a wolf. Jacob showed me." And with that the bomb exploded. Paul's frame started to shake and I swear I could see him blur. Glints of silver appeared in his hair as Jared pulled me away from Paul. Suddenly I regretted pushing him over the edge. It felt better in my head than in real life.

"Easy there." Jared tried to soothe but it didn't work.

"Get her away from me!" Paul ordered Jared and as Jared shielded me behind his back Paul's clothes exploded and instead of seeing Paul, there was a silver wolf standing in its place. The corner of his mouth pulled back as he snarled and disappeared in the forest. I grasped Jared's shirt as I witnessed, for the second time, someone defying gravity.

"Jared." I murmured quietly. Jared looked down at me as he pulled me closer to him.

"He's going to kill Jacob, right?" As Paul disappeared in the forest.

"Yeah." Jared sighed and grabbed me by the arm as he took abnormally long strides. I let him pull me along, I didn't even complain about the fact that I had to run just to stay in step beside him. I only had eye for Paul.

These things didn't happen for real. This was some crazy, messed up story that came alive. Maybe if I pinched myself I would wake up in my bed and all of this would've been a dream. I think I could get around that fact a bit more easily than the reality.

Somehow the line between reality and fantasy thinned out. I just witnessed it.

^*^

I wasn't even aware of the fact that we had reached Emily's house until I was seated on the couch in the living room and everyone was staring at me. With everyone I meant Emily, Kim, Jared and Brady. They were looking at me anxiously and I knew they expected me to explode. I think I was already beyond that point, partly because I lashed out at Paul, or maybe I'm jinxing it all and it will come back. Whatever it was, I wasn't exploding now.

"Do you think she's in shock?" Brady asked and I heard Kim slap the back of his head as he bit back a yelp. They were talking about me, pretending I couldn't hear them. I turned to Brady.

"I'm not in shock you idiot!" I snapped. "I'm _thinking_."

"I knew something was wrong with her." Jared murmured as he pulled away from Kim who had her arm wrapped around his waist. I glared at him but decided not to reply. I didn't even know what to say about that anyways.

While I just sat on the couch letting everything just wash over me the door opened while a very frustrated Summer got carried by a very frustrated Seth. I frowned at the two as did everyone else.

"You _can't_ keep me here!" She shouted as he placed her back on her feet. Both of them looked thoroughly wet and I realized that it was raining outside. Summer had raised her hand and hit him in the chest. I winced. I knew from experience that hitting him wasn't a real good idea. But Summer didn't wince or show anything that she was hurting and just kept on shouting.

"I'm seventeen for crying out loud! Besides, I'm just as safe back home than here, you ignoramus." I winced at the insult but Seth didn't react. I heard Jared and Brady chuckle at the banter and I understood why. It was slightly hilarious, seeing a five feet three girl reprimand a six feet three guy.

"It's for your own good Summer. I'm just trying to protect you." Seth defended and I smiled at his protectiveness. Seth always meant well. I sighed, why couldn't all guys be like that? Honest, sweet, caring. Than I realized that I already had someone like that, or used to have. There were just a few dents in the shields. Nothing you couldn't be fixed though.

"It's for your own good." Summer sounded too much like Seth and I saw him rub his face in exasperation. "Do I look like someone who needs protection?"

Brady and Jared both snorted but tried to hide it as a snort. Kim was glaring at the both of them and I knew from experience that she wasn't always this nice. Especially in these kind of things.

"Do you even _want_ me to answer that?" Seth responded as he grabbed her arm and dragged her to a separate room. They were still oblivious to the fact that we were all witnessing their word exchange. I wondered how long it would take till Summer would crack.

"Shut up." Summer hissed before Seth closed the door behind him. I could faintly hear them shout but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. It seemed that Jared and Brady had no problem because they started to crack up.

The door slammed open and Seth rushed passed us while Summer followed him grabbing hold of his shirt, trying to make him stop. From the looks of it Summer was regretting what she had said in her anger.

"Seth, just listen." She insisted but no avail.

"Summer, it's alright. No need to apologize. We both know how you feel. Don't worry, I'm over it." Seth explained and I couldn't help but feel bad for Summer who looked like someone ran over her puppy.

"Well I'm not." Summer suddenly confessed and Seth halted in his steps, turning around to face Summer. She walked up to him and got on her toes and pulled his face to closer to her before pressing her lips to him. My eyes widened and I was sure my mouth just fell open in surprise. Did Summer just _kiss _Seth?

It took Seth a while before he could comprehend what was happening but once he understood he started kissing her back enthusiastically. I smiled at them and couldn't be happier. Finally. Summer had cracked.

Jared whistled while Brady started gagging. Kim hit him on the head again. "Be nice." She chastised. Brady just grimaced.

"Dude," He moaned. "That's my sister."

Summer finally let go of Seth and pushed him out of the door. There was a smile on her face and Seth was practically glowing. She urged him to go and as he pulled off his shirt and handed it over to her, he descended the three step of the porch and disappeared in the dark. Summer closed the door behind her and exhaled quite loudly.

"That was sweet." Kim spoke up and Summer looked up startled. I think she just realized that we were all present.

"You saw that?" Summer sounded embarrassed.

"Who didn't?" Brady muttered and again Kim hit him on the back of his head. Jared chuckled.

"Oh, well. I'm just going to clean up." Summer excused herself and ascended the stairs to the second floor.

"They're perfect for each other." Emily said as she walked into the living room. She looked at me, her scars never blemishing her beauty, and suddenly I realized how alone I actually was. Everyone was so happy and in love. If not in love, they were at least content. I wish I could say that.

Misery clouded my vision and I pulled my knees on the couch as someone put a quilt around me. I looked up and saw it was Emily. That was thoughtful of her. She gave me a sympathetic smile and my heart felt heavier than before. Why couldn't things be as easy for me as it was for the others?

"I'm going to phase now, I wanna know how things are going on with the pack. Brady, you come with me." Jared ordered and both of them disappeared just like Seth. As the door closed behind them Emily and Kim both sat down next to me.

"So I guess both of you know. Summer too?" I asked. Kim and Emily nodded.

"How did you guys know?" I asked feeling slightly aggravated.

"You're getting ahead of things Julie. I think it's better if we tell you the whys and such, so you can understand the whole concept more." Emily elaborated. "Do you know about the tribe legends?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, Taha Aki. The spirit warrior." I cleared up. Emily and Kim nodded.

"Yeah, well Taha Aki was the first shape shifter."

"Shape shifter as in wolf." I clarified.

"Werewolf actually but they can transform when they want to." Kim explained. "They don't need a full moon."

"Oh." That was strange. If I was honest I wasn't so sure how to react to all of this. So I just went along with it. Nodded, chimed in if necessary. But besides that there wasn't much I could do.

"Anyway, the thing is. The werewolves nowadays. The pack." Kim continued. "They're the descendants of Taha Aki which is why they are able to transform." I nodded.

"The previous pack wasn't nearly as big as it is now. And the pack just keeps growing." Emily put in. I nodded. Honestly, all of this was a bit strange, surreal, but really interesting.

"Can I ask something?"

"Sure."

"What do they do? The pack I mean. What is there purpose? I know they're the tribal protectors. But what do they protect us from?" I asked. I looked at Kim who pondered at this while Emily gave me a gentle look.

"Julie, do you know about the Cold Ones?" I frowned.

"Wait, you mean." I gasped. I think my face paled because I felt slightly light-headed.

"They're real?" I breathed out. Kim nodded.

"Yeah."

"So there are actual vampires." I shook my head and got up from the couch. I put my hands on my mouth as I started to pace.

"So, you're telling me that the boys are now outside. Protecting us from vampires?" I almost yelled. Kim winced, and Emily just nodded neutrally, as if she was expecting me to freak out.

"Isn't that dangerous?" I exclaimed. Emily and Kim exchanged looks.

"Well, they're made that way Jules. They're body has changed, I mean you've noticed it, right?" I nodded thinking about their physical appearances.

"You can't tell me that they look like normal teenagers." I shook my head, she was right they looked more like in their mid twenties. And now there was a rational explanation for all of it.

"So the temperature and everything. It's a wolf thing?" I asked cautiously. Emily nodded.

"Along with the speed, the strength, height. Them healing quickly. All of it." I blinked.

"_Shut_ up." I blew up. "That's just ridiculous. No, this must be some sick joke." I started to ramble and moved to the door when Kim appeared out of nowhere and put her foot against the door keeping it shut.

"Jules, we're not lying. It's really true." Kim said truthfully. Her big eyes penetrated mine and I felt overwhelmed. I walked back to the couch and sat down again.

"Julie, say something." Emily urged.

"I-I don't know what to say." I said truthfully. All of this just didn't make sense. Like I said before; the line between fantasy and reality suddenly thinned out.

"I-I need some time." I admitted. Emily nodded in understanding and got up.

"We'll be in the kitchen if you need something. You just take it easy for a while." Emily said taking charge. Kim briefly hugged me before she and Emily both left for the kitchen.

As I just sat there trying to process it all I couldn't help but wonder how I fitted in the story. So Paul was a descendant of a shape shifter. No big deal, right? I swallowed heavily and my mouth felt dry. I rested my elbows on my knees and watched the door.

The idea of Paul being a werewolf was a crazy idea and I wasn't so sure if I could accept that. It's not that I don't want to, but the idea just freaked me out. I couldn't help it, I didn't want to. Maybe I'll be fine with it in a few days. But now I just needed some time.

I got up and moved for the door when a voice made me stop in my tracks. Of course, how could I have forgotten. Summer.

"Where do you think you're going?" Summer asked. I rolled my eyes and turned around. No need to get scared. She was only five foot three. I was two inches taller than her. I could totally take her.

Or not.

"I was just getting some fresh air." I confessed. It wasn't a complete lie. Summer glared at me before sighing deeply.

"Jules, I think we need to talk." She said and I frowned at her. What could she possibly have to say to me?

"Oh, alright then." I responded and both of us sat down on the couch again.

"I don't think I've been real honest with you before. Not to mention completely biased. I would like to apologize for that." I raised my eyebrows and nodded cautiously.

"Okay, but what for?"

"Emily and Kim told you about the pack right." I nodded. "Well there is one thing you don't know about. And that's imprinting."

"Imprinting?" I voiced and she nodded. "What's that?"

"It's their way of finding their soul mates." I nodded before I even realized what she had said. Soul mate?

"Soul mate?" I repeated confused.

"Yeah. It's quite complicated actually and if I'm honest I don't think I'm the right person to tell you all of this but once a werewolf has imprinted they'll only see their imprint, and trust me when I say they can do the most ridiculous things to prove their love. It's like gravity, you know."

My mouth felt dry again and I tried salivating it but to no avail. I exhaled quite loudly and put my hand to my forehead, hoping that all of the information will stay in my head.

"Sam imprinted on Emily." Summer continued. "Jared on Kim. Quil on Claire. Seth imprinted on me." My head snapped up. Seth imprinted on her?

"So that's why you were so reluctant to start something with him." I answered when the pieces fell in its place. She nodded.

"I know it's ridiculous but I felt like Seth was forced into loving me, and I didn't want that. I also didn't want to be forced into loving Seth just because he imprinted on me. I mean, I have some free will as well you know. But than I sorta realized that it's not like they can help it. Besides, I think somewhere along the way, I fell in love with Seth as well." At some point she was more talking to herself than me and I brushed away strands of hair that had escaped my pony tail.

A burning question was on the tip of my tongue and I looked at Summer. "Summer do you know if Paul has imprinted yet?" Maybe that's why he broke up with me. Because he was obliged to love somebody else now. I would understand if he had, I could walk away.

Summer closed her green eyes. "I don't think I'm the right person for that. You should ask Paul himself." I nodded, understanding where she was coming from.

"I hope you understand that all of it wasn't a choice. They hate it as much as we do sometimes. But if I'm honest. We never could've been luckier without them." I smiled in unbelief.

"What?" Summer asked. She looked at me and I shrugged.

"Nothing." I began. "It's just strange hearing this from you, you know. You were the one resisting all of this so much."

"Not my only mistake." Summer responded as she looked at her hands and I could hear the sincerity of it all.

If Summer Lott was able to get over her prejudices than why did I have such a hard time believing all of this?

Simple.

Because she at least had someone to lean on.

**_A/N: You know the drill, let me know in a review. =]_**


	20. I Don't Wanna Let You In

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!**_

**_A/N: So here is another update, I'm getting good at those! Thanks for all the reviews I loved them buutttttttttttttttttttttttt there can be more! Since I'm so loyal now :P lol! Although I have to say, I've already starten the sequel to this story! Cool huh? Anyway, I would love it if we could reach the 285 reviews! An update will be immediate and you guys will be VERY happy because I've planned something quite awesome! Lol! Anyway here is the next chapter, enjoy:_**

_I Don't Wanna Let You In_

Things were pretty slow now I knew. Emily and Kim were still running around on egg shells but Summer was behaving normally. The way things were before all of this Supernatural crap interfered with our lives. Right now I was folding clothes Emily had given me while she and the others were preparing dinner. She told me that the boys would be needing them when they came back. When I asked her why, she told me that once they phase they rip their clothes and I couldn't help but blush. Although it was slightly childish. It was sorta obvious. Their clothes didn't pop in and out of existence everything they phased.

Phased. Huh, the word sounded still foreign. I wondered how long it would take until I would get used to all of it. Kim assured me that I shouldn't force it on me. Just take my time. It was only natural to push it away. I sighed and grasped the familiar shirt I was holding. I knew it was Paul's because I remember him wearing it. I sighed and folded it and put it on top of the others.

No need to reminisce.

The door suddenly opened and a wave of cold air and male chatter filled up the room. I looked up and saw Seth, Jared, Brady, Jacob, Sam, Quil, Embry and Paul come in. I avoided my eyes from Paul and focused on the pair of clean clothes. I than realized that all of them were only wearing sweats and they were soaking wet. Water was clinging to their well defined chests as a second skin and I couldn't help but feel the heat rise to my cheeks.

As Emily, Summer and Kim all entered the living room I couldn't help but smile the way Kim flung herself into Jared's arms. She kissed every inch of his face she could reach and Jared grinned as he finally gave in and gave her a proper kiss.

Sam was completely different with Emily. The way he put his hands on her face and kissed her scars before pressing his lips on hers gently was almost so personal that it was too hard to watch. I diverted my eyes and moved on to Seth and Summer who were just grinning at each other before Summer took a step and pulled him in for a hug.

Like I said. It's painful to watch. I pulled away and looked up startled when Embry plopped down next to me. I pulled away as he shook his hair like a dog. Oh the irony.

"Embry." I whined and he barked out a laugh. I rolled my eyes and leant back against my seat as everyone came up to me and grabbed their share of clothes out of the basket. When Paul came up he didn't say, nor acknowledge my presence and I couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt.

"Please, if I get mushy with my imprint punch me in the face, will you?" Embry complained as he groaned.

"Will do." Sam replied simply and gave Emily another kiss.

"So you're in on the secret huh?" I shrugged in response.

"Did you get her?" I heard Emily ask Sam. I looked at the couple and saw Sam shook his head.

"The bitch got away." Quil complained as he sat down at the table. Soon the others joined him and Kim grabbed my arm and pulled me with her to sit down. There was a lot of food for them, than again, I've seen the boys eat. So it was natural.

"She keeps slipping through our fingers." Seth continued. "Damn annoying." I shook my head, not understanding, just confirming. As I realized I was seated next to Paul my first instinct was to find a different seat but than realized that, that was childish behaviour. Then again, we were being childish.

"So you know?" Paul suddenly asked. His voice startled me and it took me a while to realize what he was talking about. I was more interested in the fact that he was talking to me.

"Yeah." I breathed out. The table had gone quiet and they were more interested in our exchange. He nodded carefully and I played with hem of my shirt. I pulled my hands out of my lap and grabbed the glass of water, feeling incredibly thirsty.

"And you're okay with it?" He asked. I knew that this was a trick question. It would only backfire so I settled with an honest answer.

"I'm getting there." I pursed my lips and put the glass back on the table. I glanced sideways to see him nod his head slowly. I wanted to reach out but knew better than that.

"You're taking this better than Kim." Jared piped up. I turned my attention to him while Kim scowled.

"How did she react?" I asked, suddenly interested.

"She started laughing hysterically and completely blew him off." Embry chimed in. Everybody started to laugh and even Paul managed to crack a smile.

"Can you blame me?" Kim exclaimed. "You never were eloquent with these kinds of things."

"Not with you." Jared defended as he raised his hands when Kim smacked him on the chest.

"Ah well," said Embry lazily. "At least it was less harmful than Summer, right sweetheart." I saw Summer glare at Embry along with Seth. Quil burst into laughing and his laugh was infectious. I couldn't help but laugh even though I didn't know what it was all about.

"What did she do?" I asked.

"Well." Quil began.

"Quil, if you finish that sentence it will be most likely you will not be able to reproduce." Summer threatened and Jacob snorted. He tried to compose in a cough though but we all knew he was laughing.

"I think she's serious." Embry mocked.

"Won't you do anything?" Quil asked Seth and he shrugged.

"It's your call man." Seth responded.

"Well, finish the story." Embry encouraged. And Quil gulped before getting starting again.

"Well, when Seth told her he was a werewolf Summer freaked out on him. She started throwing things at him. It was hilarious. The poor pup came here, with a bruise the size of Canada on his forehead." Everybody started laughing and I rolled my eyes. Typical Summer. She would do that.

"Yeah, imagine seeing your best friend getting beat up your sister." Brady chimed in as he shook his head. His floppy hair covering his eyes. "I don't think I'll ever forget that."

"I heard you fainted." Quil continued. The smile on my face froze and I brushed tucked away a piece of hair behind my ear nervously. I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

"I didn't faint. I just…stumbled." I admitted.

"You did a face plant." Quil continued and I could hit myself with my plate continuously. We hadn't even started dinner yet and things were already getting uncomfortable. Jacob reached out and hit both of them on the back of their heads while his eyes obviously said 'back off'.

I coughed embarrassed and glanced at Kim who looked at me with a sympathetic look. I guess that it was normal for them to make jokes about it. Because that's what it was. For them at least.

"Well what else did you expect?" Emily suddenly said. She hadn't participated in the conversation at all because she was in the kitchen but as she put the food on the table and put her tiny fists on her hips I couldn't help but be reminded of a mother. She looked at Jacob with a small scowl.

"You completely caught the girl off guard. It was the least she could do." Emily defended and I felt a surge of gratitude towards the woman and I smiled gratefully ad her.

"Don't mention it." She mouthed at me and I laid my hands on the table. Paul was resting his arms on the table as well and as mine touched his, a spark caught me off guard and I knew he had felt it as well because both of us pulled away from each other.

"You're awfully quiet Paul." Seth said and as I looked at Seth I could see some buried animosity between the two. I wondered what it was about.

"Not in the mood to talk." Paul responded coolly. Somehow I couldn't help but feel not welcome anymore. I looked at Paul, surprised by the way he so easily ignored me. Before I knew it I had stood up.

"It's getting late." I excused myself. "I think it's better if I head back home." I pushed the chair away.

"But you haven't even eaten yet." Emily suddenly said.

"It's alright, not hungry anyways." I quickly said as Emily got up as well.

"Oh, but at least have something to eat. I'm sure one of the boys can drop you off later on." She insisted and I shook my head. Ignoring the cries of approval.

"I'll walk home. It has stopped raining anyway. So don't worry about me." I persisted and I raised my hand and gave all of them a quick wave.

"I'll drive you. I don't like the idea of you going alone." Sam suddenly said and I looked at him. I was slightly intimidated by him but I knew he meant well. But his eyes were focused on Paul instead. I saw the silent demand in his eyes but Paul wasn't even looking at him.

"Oh no. Please, it's okay. I'll manage." I protested, even my voice sounded weak to me.

"Don't be silly Julie." Sam smiled crookedly. "I don't mind." He moved to Emily and gave her a quick peck before walking back to the door. Summer and Kim gave me a brief hug and as Sam was waiting by the door, already holding it open when someone grabbed my hand. I looked down and saw that it was Paul. I tried pulling it away from him but he wouldn't budge. As if I didn't have enough bruises.

"Let go." I hissed quietly. Hoping not to alert anyone.

"Paul." I heard Sam say.

"I think we should talk." Paul said. He looked at me and his eyes looked pained. Well too bad for him though.

"So now you wanna talk." I snapped. The anger washing over me all over again. I heard him sigh.

"What?" I snapped again. "What do you want from me Paul?" I asked him. Because quite frankly I was tired. I wasn't so sure how long I could handle the way he handled things. The way he played with my emotions.

"Jules-" He began but I cut him off.

"_Don't _call me Jules." I shouted. Paul got out of his seat and towered over me. A feeling of Déjà vu washed over me and I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. And that was only a few months ago.

"Fine." He shouted.

"Fine." I whispered. I could feel tears burn in my eyes. I focused my eyes on the floor and I could hear the ruckus we had caused. People were moving, shouting, talking, doing everything at once and I was being stupid by only focusing on one person. Paul Matson.

"Hey take it easy will ya." Jacob interfered.

"Don't you start with me." Paul hissed as he stood at his full length. He was shorter than Jacob but somehow he looked stronger. I backed up when I felt myself collide into someone. I turned around and saw it was Seth. Good ol' Seth.

"Seth." I murmured and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to his side and I welcomed the gesture. Apparently I needed it. But somehow it only made things worse. Paul looked at us and something in his eyes flashed, it looked like hurt but I could be mistaken.

Suddenly Sam came in between Jacob and Paul and pushed them both out of the door. Something told me that it wasn't good news. I looked at Seth and I suppose my eyes said it all. He shushed me.

"Don't worry, Sam won't let them hurt each other. Don't worry." I nodded. Always the passive one.

"I wanna go home." I murmured and Seth understood.

"I'm gonna take her home." He announced and Summer nodded in understanding. She walked over to us and gave me a hug.

"You'll be okay? I could come over with Kim if you want to. We could have a girl's night?" I shook my head. Thankful for the offer though.

"No it's alright. I think I need some time for myself now." She nodded and stood on her toes giving Seth a kiss on the cheek before Seth pulled me outside.

Once outside the small cottage I couldn't help but look for the three werewolves. I couldn't see them though and something told me that they weren't here anymore. I sighed and got into Seth's truck. Once he had started the truck and we were on the road, on our way to my house I brushed away the tears. I needed to make sure I didn't betray anything to my parents. I didn't want them to suspect something. I was eighteen for crying out loud. Not a little girl anymore.

"Does it look like I have been crying?" I asked Seth. He looked at me before focusing his eyes on the road again.

"Yeah." He nodded. "But I don't think you're parents will notice."

"Oh okay."

"Jules."

"Hmm."

"You really need to work things out." I closed my eyes knowing that Seth was right at some point but right now I didn't want to do anything. Just go home and go to bed. Just get some sleep and not worry about the things that have been going on.

"I know." I breathed out. "But not right now."

"Fair enough."

**_A/N: You know the drill! _**

**_P.S: I got a new CSI Miami story, please check it out! And for the people who have been following my Narnia fic Dìgame, I updated =]_**


	21. You Made Me This Way

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except the plot and the characters you don't recognize!**_

**_A/N: So here is the next chapter, see! I can update regularly! lol! Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! I love them! Seriously! It's so amazing to get support for something that started out as a joke :P _**

**_Anyway, some people have been telling me that Paul only get's angry and that he needs some anger management! I agree but you need to understand that Paul is the volatile one so him only getting angry is something which I deem normal because it's the only way for him to deal with his issues, I'm not saying it's a good thing, but it's the way that Paul reacts! _**

**_And about the sequel! One spoiler: College! That's all I'm saying :P But we're not at that point yet so we can all calm down and enjoy this chapter because I have a feeling you guys will like it! _**

_You Made Me This Way_

Once back home it was fairly easy to keep myself composed. I was most definitely overwhelmed and I felt like someone just ran over me a few times, mentally of course, and as exhausted as I was I didn't wanna do anything except get back to my room and just crawl into my bed. Mum understood enough while I just knew she muttered, kids these days, but whatever.

"Honey, don't you want dinner?" She yelled up the stairs as I ascended them.

"No mum!" I shouted back. "Not hungry."

"Honey you haven't eaten anything since you left the house today, that's been hours, I rather have you eat something. You're not developing an eating disorder, are you?" My mum suddenly added. I slapped my forehead.

"No mum!" I assured her. "I do not have anorexic tendencies." She was far too frantic when it came to that.

"You sure?" She asked. Even though she was a nurse, tact wasn't always one of her strong points.

I opened the door to my room and pulled off my shirt and unbuttoned my jeans. I immediately crawled into bed and held onto the sheets and closed my eyes. So what I smelled bad, so what I needed a shower, I just wanted to get some sleep.

Sleep was welcome. And that's what I did.

I slept and I didn't worry about anything. Never realized how good that could feel once you actually need it.

The next morning I woke up to country music. Most definitely my dad. He loved country music. Especially Country rock, I wasn't so fond of it honestly. I had my favourites but that stopped with Tim McGraw. I crawled out of bed and looked at the clock, it was almost noon. I thought about getting back in, but decided against it. That was a bit too extreme. As I walked to my bathroom and stripped down my clothes I couldn't help but think what happened between Jacob and Paul. Were they alright?

If they weren't I knew Summer or Kim would let me know, right? I stood underneath the hot water and as it relaxed my muscles I let my mind drift off. I needed to talk with Paul. That was for sure. I needed to know whether he imprinted on someone or not. Because if he hadn't I wouldn't get in the way in case he would, and if he had I still wouldn't get in the way. Pretty selfless huh?

I turned off the water and grabbed a towel and started to wipe myself dry. I quickly picked out my clothes. Simple dark blue denim jeans and a brown top. I wore a long-sleeved white top underneath as the brown top was low cut and sleeveless. I tied the pink ribbon around my waist tighter and pulled on white ankle socks before I grabbed the hairdryer. I didn't understand why I was dressing up; I wasn't seeing anyone, anyway.

But I let myself go and even went through the trouble of straightening my hair. It hung halfway my shoulders and I clasped the front of my hair at the back so I wouldn't come in my eyes. Next was make up, but since I only used a bit of eyeliner and mascara I was quickly done. When I looked into the mirror I realized that I looked a bit pale. Maybe because of the excitement?

As I went down to the living room the music became louder and I realized that it was Dancing When the Stars Go Blue by Tim McGraw coming out of the speakers. I smiled at my mother's enthusiasm when she saw me.

"I knew this song would get you out of bed." She grinned and I smiled back. I looked around the living room and saw that dad wasn't home anymore. I sighed. When was he ever?

"He left work early today." My mum cleared out and I didn't react. I knew it of course.

"Oh, before I forget sweetheart." My mother continued. "This weekend you're dad is taking me to Seattle, so we'll stay there for two days." I nodded.

"Okay, have fun." I said not so enthusiastically. I could see my mother smile at me as she shook her head.

"You know the rules right?" I nodded my head. I already knew them, they were gone so much I couldn't help but not forget.

"Yes mum." I dragged.

"No parties. No drinking involved in any way. Summer and Kim can come over, or somebody else but no boys, although I think it's okay if Paul came, that boy is such a gentleman." I snapped my head to my mother. She knew Paul and I weren't together anymore, why did she say that than?

"Mum, Paul and I aren't together anymore. You know that, right?" I clarified.

"He called this morning. Quite a few times. Much to your father's dismay. Anyway, I told him you were still sleeping and it would be better to come over. He'll be here in an hour and I'll be leaving in a few minutes so that will give you some time alone." My mum looked immensely smug and I felt a rush of anger. I stood up.

"MUM!" I shouted. "You can't do that without my permission? He was _my_ boyfriend and he broke up with _me._ Don't you see it's extremely painful if he came over?"

"But honey, he sounded really upset and I think it would be better to talk and clear up a few things. I know I shouldn't do this but don't think I haven't seen you the past few weeks." My mother said as she walked over to me and put her hands on my shoulder in a reassuring way. "You've been miserable, and you're my daughter. I want to see you happy. If that means I need to play match maker, so be it." She added and with that she grabbed her purse and quickly pecked my forehead.

"Listen to the boy." She said. "Or else you'll regret it." I sighed as I heard my mother leave the house and I sank back into my seat. At some point my mother may be right. But I didn't like the fact that she just smacked my face right into it. I wanted to talk to Paul but not like this. I needed more time. I was alright with that, why couldn't others be?

Before I knew it an hour had passed and all my thoughts of just leaving the house left my mind and unease crept up. I got up and moved to the door where I waited. I didn't have to open the door. I could just let him be, but it would've been mean if I didn't do anything. I wasn't mean. I took a deep breath and opened the door to reveal the person I was dreading to see.

Paul Matson.

He looked nice today; he was wearing a simple black shirt with dark denim jeans. Simple yet effective. I sighed and stepped back so he could get in. We didn't say much, in fact we didn't speak at all and for some reason it didn't feel that uncomfortable. He walked into the living room and I motioned him to sit down.

"Jules, I know you don't want to talk right now but just hear me out." Paul began. I kept my face blank as I forced myself to listen.

"You've got the whole thing wrong. I know what I did was wrong but you have to believe me, I didn't have a choice. It was for your own good."

"Don't you think that it would've been better if you let me decide that on my own?" I responded coolly. I crossed my arms as I stood on the other side of the room. I saw something flash in his eyes and he wiped his face with his hand in exhaustion. It wasn't going the way he had planned it.

"But I didn't want you in the middle of it all. You could've been in danger, with all the vampires running around." I blanked out the rest. All those vampires? There were more? Here? In La Push? Right now? I felt my breathing accelerate.

"You see?" Paul exclaimed as he grabbed my arms and pulled me into a chair. "This is why didn't tell you. You're so damn vulnerable; I didn't want to burden you with it. Besides, it's under control." So it was a nice thought, him being thoughtful, yet he managed to call me vulnerable.

So it still felt like betrayal.

"Paul, you deliberately kept me away from all the secrets, you-you broke up with me because you thought I couldn't handle it. So why should I listen to you now?" I asked as I pulled away from him. I ignored the hurt in his eyes and focused on my feet instead.

"Look, I know you're angry but like I said before, I had to break up with you, I didn't want to, but I _had_ to." Paul sounded aggravated.

"You didn't want to?" I scoffed. That sounded hard to believe. "But you _had_ to?"

"Julie?"

I cut him off. "That's a load of crap and you know it. If that's the best you can come up with than you should go. Because I can't deal with-"

"I broke up with you because you were a liability." Paul hissed. I took a step back. So that was the true catalyst behind it all. I simply wasn't worth it. Tears burned in my eyes and I looked at Paul through blurry eyes. I heard him sigh.

"That came out wrong. I d-didn't mean it." Paul said. "I'm sorry Jules, it's just. Sometimes I don't get the way your mind works."

"_My_ mind works?" I blurted out. "Have you ever thought about the way your own mind works? You're the one that breaks up with your girlfriend because you're too scared to say the truth and than goes to other trashy girls just to get lucky. I don't see the sense in that?"

"Those girls were a mistake. It was stupid, I know! But I only did that to keep you away, because I know you would confront me anyway, I thought that if I stayed with other girls you wouldn't come to me." Paul responded back. He tried to pull me towards him but I moved behind the couch. Him on the other side.

"Don't!" I hissed. "You should've given me more credit than that! I told you that if you honestly told me how you felt I would've left you alone. But apparently that wasn't enough."

"Julie, I know you. It wouldn't be enough because I thought you knew that I did love you."

He loved me? I put my hand over my mouth as I tried to grasp that. It sounded like a lie if I was honest. Because he told me that he didn't love me anyways and I wasn't stupid enough to pursue him after that. I didn't need him to walk all over my heart and smash it.

"You t-told me…" I trailed off. "You didn't love me." He walked to me and I didn't move away this time. He put his hands on my shoulders pulling me closer to him. I could smell his husky scent and it was comforting and familiar. It reminded me of the way things were before.

"I lied." Paul confessed. I pulled away. No, I couldn't live with that. If he didn't love me, it was easier to move on, but with him loving me, and us being apart, I couldn't do that. I didn't want him to be in that situation when he would imprint.

"No." I shook my head. "You don't love me."

Paul's eyes stood surprised and I saw him fumble with words. His hands were shaking slightly and I realized that he was trying to hold in his anger. I sincerely hoped that he wouldn't let his anger get the best of him.

"Julie I-I don't understand."

"You don't love me." I began. "Because when you imprint, you would have to choose and we both know who you would chose." Realization dawned upon him and I saw him narrow his eyes.

"And you don't need to worry about me telling your secret. Don't worry about that. The secret is safe. Besides, if it helps, I think I'll be able to get used to it. But for now I think you should go." I said casually. My voice was cracking slightly but I managed to keep it under control.

"You silly girl." I looked up hearing his voice.

Before I knew it Paul stood before me, his hands on my face as he pulled me in for a kiss. I didn't have time to react or grasp what was going on because I found out I was kissing him back as enthusiastically. His hand moved down my back and to compensate with the height difference he quite literally swept me off my feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I felt him pry open my mouth and I immediately obliged wanting to taste him again because it was far too long ago.

The whole situation should've set me off immediately but somehow it felt so right and with the whole familiarity thing going on I couldn't help but move with him the way we did before. I didn't protest when I felt my back on the couch or when he was on top of me. I didn't protest when I felt his warm hands under my shirt, drawing circles. I didn't protest when he pulled away and started to kiss my neck instead. The way he moved to my throat made all coherent thoughts go away.

I reacted by pulling his shirt over his head wanting to feel the warm skin on my hands. I held on to his shoulders, being able to cling to them again and arched my back when I felt him pull my shirt over my head. His mouth only pulling away to get rid of the peace of clothing. I was still wearing my white top underneath it but for some reason I couldn't wait to get rid of that. I pulled him in for a kiss again and something in my stomach tightened painfully. But it was a good kind of painful.

I felt his hands trail down my side to my hip and his hand gripped my hips while the other was still on my stomach moving closer to my chest. I decided to take my own initiative and pulled on the hem of my top before discarding it. I knew that this wasn't the right thing to do but it didn't hit me yet. And till then I was fine with whatever was going on.

The whole thing was going way too fast and it was a result of oppressed emotions and deprivation but there was something more in his kisses and I knew that there was something more in my kisses. I wanted Paul, needed him because he was the only person that could make me feel this way. He was the one that made me so impulsive and even though the consequences weren't always positive I liked the fact that he had loosened me up a bit.

I wasn't the same girl I was before I met Paul. And I was fine with that.

"Paul." I breathed out as I pulled away due to lack of air. His hands were being painfully gentle and I couldn't help dig my nails in to his back. He only reacted in a good harsh way.

His body heat was making me breathless and there were a few black spots in my vision but I couldn't help but want him closer to me. His hand went to my thigh as he gripped it tighter. His other hand was on the small of my back moving to the clasp of my bra. His mouth was on my throat and was only going lower. His teeth grazed my skin and I realized I was breathing far too loudly, gulping air but than I realized I wasn't the only one.

His hand let go of my thigh and I felt his hips press in to mine. _Oh oh! _

Of course reality had to hit me right now. My eyes snapped open and I let my hands go limp on his chest. This wasn't what we should be doing. Before I knew it I started to pull away. Tears burned in my eyes and I had trouble keeping the sobs inside. Paul noticed the sudden change in demeanour and pulled away. His brown orbs looked at me in worry. He saw me struggling to get up and got up himself pulling me with him. I moved away from him to the other side of the couch. I couldn't face him right now. This was the farthest we've ever been and even though it felt right, it wasn't. He couldn't do that to me. Not like this, not now.

"Was it too much?" I heard his voice and I couldn't help but feel angry by the way he reacted. Was he that ignorant?

"You can't do that!" I snapped getting off the couch and picking up my clothes. I quickly put on my clothes and looked at Paul in anger. "That was uncalled for."

"I wasn't the only one doing it Julie, you can't just blame me."

"You're the one that came on to _me_, what'd you expected me to do?" I hissed back. I heard him sigh exasperatedly and I felt tears run down my face.

"You should go. I don't want to keep you here."

"So that's it?" Paul snapped. He looked at me and I focused my eyes on his jaw instead. I knew he would be mad. I was making it hard for him but he was doing the same thing to me. If not harder.

"That's it." I said trying to sound brave which I wasn't.

"So you had me on spinning around on one foot the whole freaking day and this is all you can say? Damnitt Julie!" His fist landed on the wall next to me and I quickly looked at the damage he had done. I was so screwed! My parents were going to kill me.

"Look, it's not going to work!" I defended myself. I pushed away Paul and moved to the door holding it open. "It's best if you just left!" He glared at me and I felt the sharp stabs in my heart. I had to stay together until he left.

"So I just told you, you're my imprint and this is what you do?" My eyes snapped to his in confusion.

Me being his imprint? That was impossible! But that wasn't possible, an imprint would never be a liability, he was lying. He couldn't be serious? Right? I put my hand to my forehead and held on to the door, my mind was on a rollercoaster and making my head spin around. I tried to take a deep breath but halfway through I felt my throat close up again.

"That's impossible." I choked out. I felt Paul's warm hands on my shoulders as he shook me for another response. I looked at his mouth but the words coming out weren't coherent for me to understand.

"Julie?! What's wrong? I thought you knew! You knew right?" I shook my head numbly as Paul held on to my hands. My hands felt colder than they were and with Paul's heat it only made it more obvious how cold I was. I pulled away and looked at Paul in the eye. I was pushing away any kind of emotion I could possibly feel and made way for determination.

"You're telling me that I'm your imprint." I asked for confirmation. Paul nodded and I found myself nodding with him. "So you're not going to imprint on someone else?"

"That's impossible Jules." Paul scoffed.

"Just answer the question!" I said. Paul's hands found my face as he cupped my cheeks. He pulled me to him and I had to stand on my toes.

"_You're _my imprint." Paul murmured. I finally let the overload of emotions wash over me.

"Really?" I gasped. I felt tears burn in my eyes again and before I knew it my hands were around his neck and my lips were on his again.

And this time I wasn't planning on stopping soon.

**_A/N: Please review, I love 'em! Let's hit over 300 kay?_**


	22. Light Up, Light Up

**_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, so stop your bugging, will ya?_**

**_A/N: _**

**_So I got a review telling me that Julie should've been angrier with Paul. That he should've grovelled more and that Julie gave in way too soon. Because of that the reviewer was disappointed in this fic. I really want to explain myself._**

**_Firstly, being angry with the person you're in love with is a very difficult task at itself. I've been there and I'm sure many others have been there as well. Julie wore her feelings on her sleeve, but since Paul hurt her so much she had no other choice than to stay clear from him and 'suffer' in silence. She did that for a long time, a bit more than a month. (I hope the timing was obvious from the chapters) But imagine this, the love of your life comes to you apologises and explains his side of the story, how can you possibly stay angry?_**

**_Well you can't, because people in love are often blind to the faults of their partners. Julie is the same. Paul handled the situation fairly bad not to mention he resorted to pathetic attempts to keep Julie away from him. I agree; Paul was a jerk! But he's only human and we all know that Paul isn't the brightest crayon in the box. It doesn't mean that Julie should bring him down to get revenge. Because I personally think that love isn't about getting revenge. You should be able to forgive each other._**

**_This brings me to the second issue I like to discuss: Imprinting. I believe that imprinting comes from both sides. Obviously from Paul, but also from Julie. Because she always had this pull towards Paul and when they got together it only strengthened their bond they already had. Both of them were unhappy with the situation and their separation, caused because of unfortunate circumstances. And because their love is so much stronger than the usual, although I would never underestimate that, staying angry can take its toll. Physically and mentally and I thought it was time for them to get back together because I couldn't bear to see them even more depressed. _**

**_It is not like they will forgive each other immediately, they will, eventually. But it takes time; in every relationship it takes time but only if you're willing to give it some time. _**

**_I hope that you can understand that I tried to be as real as possible and that I'm sorry that you seem disappointed with this fic. Maybe in the future I will get it 'right' but there are others who seem to like this fic and I thrive to keep their interest. I'm sorry you're disappointed because your opinion matters and I hope that you understand why I wrote Julie this way. Because in real life we would to the same thing. We wouldn't stay angry, it would get childish. And maybe this fic may have a not so strong OC imprint but I think Paul confronting Julie is even better. They need each other to be happy, and at the end of the day we all want to be happy…_**

**_I'm sorry for this long AN, but it was something that bothered me and I just had to get this out! Anyway, here is the next chapter and thank all of you SO much for the reviews, you have NO idea how happy they make me, so enjoy: _**

_Light Up, Light Up_

I huddled deeper into my sweatshirt as I held onto Paul's hand. We were walking around aimlessly on the beach, trying to catch some fresh air. Well, air we weren't lacking, conversation however, we were. There were things I wanted to say to Paul, but I didn't know how to say it without sounding rude. Being together with Paul again was familiar but there was a cloud hanging above our heads. The things we haven't said to each other and I knew that one way or another it would come out. And I wasn't so sure how to react to that.

"You're awfully quiet." Paul noticed and I smiled. Go figure Paul! I turned to him and looked up. I took in his appearance, something that never seized to surprise me. His high cheek bones and strong jaw stood out, his russet skin, his black shaggy hair, his warm brown eyes framed with dark eyelashes, his full lips, his small nose.

His small nose.

I had to be honest; he had the cutest nose ever! It was like a button nose only slightly longer and the tip of his nose was quirked upwards. I sighed huddling closer against his arm.

"Hmm. I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?" He asked. His husky voice made goose bumps appear on my skin. As if I wasn't cold enough.

"There are some things…" I began. "Things we sorta need to talk about." Paul stopped walking and looked around. I followed his eyes, wondering what he was looking for.

"Why don't we sit down?" He said and he pulled me to a log which was located close to the sea. I looked at the water, the waves were crashing against the rocks and it appeared to be darker than usual. We sat down and his warm arms went around me. I fell into the embrace gratefully.

"Now tell me." Paul said gently. I swallowed, wondering how I was going to put it gently.

See the thing is. We lack communication. We may have chemistry but chemistry isn't enough. I thought that being an imprint meant that he had some kind of sixth sense with me. Knowing when something is bothering me. But Paul and I. We just don't communicate, which leads to stupid mistakes and certain situations the both of us can do without.

"We need to talk more." I began. "We need to be honest." I heard Paul's breath as he exhaled and I swallowed.

"I want you to be honest with me." I said firmly. "If you're angry or something like that. Just tell me why you're angry and if there is something bothering you, just say it. You don't need to keep it in; because you're afraid you'll hurt my feelings. I rather deal with that than be kept in the dark." I realized I was sort of rambling.

"You want me to be honest?" Paul asked. I nodded looking at my feet instead of his face. I felt his fingers lift my chin and I looked at him.

"That I can do." I sighed. It was done.

"Good." I replied. I decided to lighten up the atmosphere. "So, what are you feeling right now?" Paul looked at me with a funny expression.

"Uhh, w-what should I be feeling?" He stuttered. I blinked a few times and than smiled.

"Just kidding honey." I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his arm.

"Just to make things clear, you're not going to turn Dr Phil with me, right?" Paul asked and I laughed.

"No of course not." I responded. I let him go and looked at his face. His eyes were slightly confused but a smile was on his face.

"Good!" He said firmly and before I knew it he stood up.

"Come on, let's go to Emily's." I nodded and got up as well.

So things were back to the way they were. Although I was thrilled with it and I actually felt happy about it all there was a slight doubt at the back of my mind. What if something happens again, will we be able to fix it just as easy as we did just now? Every relationship has its problems of course, granted our relationship is slightly more _permanent_ than most teenage relationships but it didn't mean we were immune to the same troubles that other teenagers have. I decided to let it go for a while, maybe I was just overreacting but who was I kidding, there was still something.

And that something I couldn't keep ignoring.

"Let's go in." Paul suddenly said and I realized that we were at Emily and Sam's cottage already. Paul knocked and I heard footsteps before the door opened and Emily appeared in our view.

"Julie, Paul, come in." Emily said looking cheery. She looked nice, I noticed. She was wearing a blue skirt with a white top and her hair was slightly curled. She truly was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Despite her scars she manages to be so flawless.

As we got inside I noticed it was dark. I looked around and couldn't see anything but shadows of what I thought was people. I didn't hear anything though that proved that there were other people in the house.

"Emily, why are the lights out?" I asked when suddenly the room lit up and people suddenly jumped up screaming "SURPRISE" I was so startled that I almost fell to the floor. If Paul hadn't grabbed my arm and hauled me up again I was sure I would be on the floor.

"What the?" I gasped and looked around. The living room was decorated and on the dining table there were presents and a big cake. There were balloons littered all around and I realized that it was for me.

"Happy belated birthday Jules." Seth quipped as he moved forward and wrapped me in a bear hug. I just limply held on while I processed it. My birthday? Which was three weeks ago. I turned to Paul as Seth let me go and looked at him.

"You knew?" I asked.

"He knew? He was the one to suggest all of this." Kim exclaimed as she pushed through everyone to give me a hug. I smiled at Paul feeling a rush of affection wash over me. I don't think someone did something this sweet for me. Ever!

As I was passed around, I tried to remember the faces. Seth, Summer, Kim, Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, Emily, Sam, Brady, Collin, Jacob, Leah. Everyone was here. Suddenly I felt so giddy. They were here, for me, with presents. I squealed seeing the presents.

"Are those for me?" I gushed.

"Yup!" Quil said with a big smile on his face as he reached for the cake. I heard a slap and saw that it was Jacob who had hit him on the head. I laughed.

"You guys really shouldn't have!"

"Oh yes we should've!" Seth piped up as he pulled Summer under his arm who looked at Seth with a slight uncomfortable expression. I suppose she wasn't exactly used to public display of affection, or she wasn't used to it because it was coming from Seth. I let Paul pull me into a chair.

'Why don't you open your gifts, Julie?" Sam suggested. I nodded eagerly.

I was surprised, deeply moved and ecstatic that this was set up for me. It did feel slightly strange because I wasn't used to this but all in all it was one of the sweetest thing people did for me. I looked at Paul who pecked me on the cheek.

"Thank you." I murmured.

"Don't mention it." He replied and he sat down on the chair next to me.

As I opened my gifts, which contained painting equipment like new paint, brushes etc. All the things I needed and wanted to buy but now I didn't need to because Jake, Embry and Quil took care of that. I got the cutest top from Summer and from Seth I got a crystal ball. I remember telling him that I loved those. Brady and Collin bought a replica of my favourite painting by Degas. "The dancers in blue" and with that they brought me a frame so I could frame my own favourite painting. It was a very sweet thing of them to do. Leah had given me these scented candles to decorate my room. Emily and Sam had given me a bag of accessories for in the shower.

When Kim stepped forward to give her present I saw Jared at the back turn red. He looked at me a mouthed sorry. I gave him a confusing look, what was he talking about? Kim on the other looked fairly giddy herself as I took the bag from her. I frowned when I saw the couples contradicting looks. What could it be? I peered into the bag and turned red myself.

"Kim!" I hissed. She just laughed.

"I told you we should've bought something else." Jared complained as I saw Paul peek into the bag himself. I blushed and tried to hide it from him but he already saw it. A mischievous smile appeared on his face and he smirked smugly. Oh he was so dead! I got out of my chair and pulled Kim to the other side of the room.

"You bought me _lingerie_?" I whispered loudly. I felt extremely flustered.

"Did I get you the right size?" Kim asked innocently. "You're a 32B right?" I slapped my forehead. I looked at the table and realized that everyone could hear us and that they were trying to keep their laughter inside. I glared at Kim and walked back to the table sitting down.

"Why don't we cut the cake?" Emily suggested seeing my flustered appearance. I could kiss the woman! I smiled thankfully and she winked at me as she started to cut the cake.

"32B huh?" Paul whispered in my ear and I dug my elbow in his stomach.

"Oof!"

"Take that, you moron!" I muttered as I leant back in the chair, crossing my arms. I glanced at Paul who rubbed his stomach, he was grinning though. I rolled my eyes taking the cake from Emily.

"Not a word Quil!" I said when Quil opened his mouth to say something. I just knew that he was bursting to embarrass me. He grinned at me widely.

"Nice rack Paul!" My mouth plopped open in indignation and I glanced at Paul who bumped his fist with Quil's. I glared at the both of them and turned to Kim.

"You are so not buying anything for me EVER!"

**^*^**

"Thank you." I murmured. Paul's arms were around me and I laid my head against his chest as I watched the sun set. His heartbeat was ringing in my ears and I pulled away putting my hand on that exact spot. He was only wearing a short sleeved shirt and I was surprised he wasn't cold but apparently he never got cold. It was a wolf thing. I didn't question it after that.

It was only a day or so since I found out that Paul was a wolf and I wasn't so sure where I stood with all of this. I was alright with it, but I didn't ask much about it. Maybe after some time I would be alright with it, but whatever it was I didn't want to think about it right now.

Not now everything was going so well. I wasn't going to spoil it, I was sick of rubbing salt in my wounds. I may have started it but I was also the one that finishing it.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked while a shiver racked my frame.

"Nah, my body runs a toasty one-oh-eight-point-nine nowadays." My eyes widened.

"Are you crazy? You could die with that temperature!" I almost shrieked. Paul chuckled and shook his head.

"Not really Jules don't worry about that. I'm fine." Paul murmured as he kissed me on my lips. Paul was constantly touching, if only it's for a second but he keeps coming back for some physical contact. I don't mind at all, I really enjoy it actually.

It's comforting somehow. I like the way it feels, just a little reminder he's there. So instead of pinching myself I settled for kissing Paul. Feel his warm lips on my mouth or anywhere else. I sat up on my knees and grabbed Paul's face in my hands before I pulled him in for a kiss.

Slightly confused with my behaviour it took Paul a while before he kissed me back. But no matter what Paul was always up for physical entertainment and I wasn't even complaining, seeing I was just as bad as Paul.

I moaned when I opened my mouth and his tongue swept around mine, moving in a series of excruciatingly pleasant making-your-toes-curl kind of kisses. I pulled at his hair and I felt him groan inside my mouth. I felt my body temperature rise immediately but this time I was being cooled by the cold breeze that swept across the beach. His hands were on my hips and he was rubbing his thumb on my hipbone and the surrounding exposed skin. Goose bumps covered my skin. I pulled away after pecking him slowly once more.

"Not that I'm complaining, but where did that come from?" Paul suddenly asked. Way to kill a mood, right? I rolled my eyes.

"Just wanted to kiss you."

"Ah, so I'm just here to satisfy your needs?" Paul was teasing, I knew that but I couldn't help but glare at him.

"Fine, don't satisfy my needs. I'll find someone else." I responded back and I wanted to get up but Paul reached out for my arm and pulled me into his lap. His eyes boring into mine. My breath halted and I looked at him, waiting patiently for whatever was coming my way.

"You're mine."

And who was I to argue?

"Oh, here." Paul exclaimed as he pulled out a box out of his pocket. I eyed it carefully.

"What's that?"

"You're birthday present of course. I wanted to give it to you when we were alone." He said and I opened my mouth to protest. He arranged the surprise party, which was more than enough.

"Come on, take it." He urged and he put the box in my hand. I eyed it suspiciously before I took off the lid carefully.

"Oh Paul." I breathed out and I pulled out the silver bracelet. It had a little clock dangling from it with something engraved on it, I looked at the piece. It was lovely and utterly beautiful.

"You can add charms to it, if you want." I hmm'd since I was so astound by the gift. It must've cost a fortune.

"So, do you like it?" Paul suddenly asked. I realized I was looking at it way too long.

"Oh I'm sorry. I absolutely adore it Paul, it's beautiful, really. Thank you so much." I pressed my lips on his for a quick kiss.

"Put it on for me." I said and I handed over the bracelet to Paul. His large hands were delicate as he clasped on the bracelet.

"It's perfect." I murmured. Looking at the bracelet. "Thank you."

"My pleasure baby." Paul murmured in my ear. I sighed feeling completely and utterly content.

"So, do I get another kiss?"

**_A/N: Sorry for the boring chapter, the next chapter is far more exhilarating, not to mention quite good! Anyway, please do review and try to make me feel better again, school is starting tomorrow and for the past few days I've been feeling like crap! :( This story keeps me alive for a while!_**

So please press George for me :D He's been so lonely!


	23. I Simply Cannot Hold

_**Disclaimer: Don't own anything! It's Stephenie Meyer's!!!!**_

**_A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I thought a quick update would please all of you, it surely does please me! Anyways, people have been asking me about LEMONS! I'm not sure yet, but I think there will be a lemon, although it'll be mild, I think! Ah well, things that I still need to think about! Anyway, school started again today and I'm exhausted, I didn't sleep well last night and with my hardcore classes, well it doesn't make things real easy! So pleaaaaaaaaaase make me happy with reviews :P So here is the next chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it, it's extra long! Here you go :D_**

_I Simply Cannot Hold _

"Julie! What is this?" I immediately closed my eyes. I knew what my dad was talking about. The slight dent in the wall caused by Paul's fist. I sighed and mentally prepared myself for the attack as I descended the stairs into the living room. My dad was standing in front of the wall and as he turned around to face me I could see the damage. It wasn't that bad but bad enough.

"Dad." I began. I wasn't so sure what to say, I could say I was sorry and get grounded for the rest of my life or I could lie and pretend I didn't know about it. Somehow the latter tempted me more. I wonder why?

I just hope that he'll buy it.

"Well?" I cringed and shrugged.

"I don't know dad, how did that happen?" I tried being innocent. Didn't work though. He saw right through my façade and I could hit myself for even thinking for a second that he would buy it.

"Don't act stupid with me, young lady." And here he goes again. "This wasn't here yesterday and since your mother wasn't here I can only assume it was you."

"Dad, you're assuming I did it. But I didn't." That wasn't a lie. I crossed my arms and looked at my dad. His slight grey hair was tousled and his sharp brown eyes were looking at me with anger.

"Julie! How many times did I tell you not to lie to me? When will you get it?" He shouted and I stepped back.

"I'm not lying dad." I persisted. "I didn't do it, so if you don't mind, I have work to do." And with that I turned around heading for the stairs when I felt my dad's hand grasp my wrist. I gasped at the contact and felt my shoulders go stiff when he pulled me around. I think he may have underestimated the power he used because I felt my ankle go the wrong way and I lost my balance. My cheek collided with the coffee table and it immediately began to throb.

"FINN!" I heard my mother shout as she rushed over to me. Her hands pulled me upright and she pulled away my hand that was shielding my cheek. It was throbbing painfully and I just knew it was going to bruise.

How was I going to explain that?

"I-I d-didn't-" My dad stuttered and I looked up at him from the ground. He looked genuinely confused and something flashed in his eyes, which was something like regret. I felt tears burn in my eyes and I quickly got up.

"Finn, what were you thinking?" My mother cried out as she helped me stand up again. I held up my hand.

"Mum, it's alright. I'll be upstairs." My voice cracked and I turned around and ran up the stairs to my room. Once the door closed behind me I felt the dam break as tears were running down my cheeks. I walked into my bathroom and looked into the mirror.

My hair was messed up and my eyes were already turning red. As I investigated my cheek I couldn't discover anything except the redness but I knew that it was going to bruise. If not now it would tomorrow. I felt sobs built up in my chest and I buried my face in my hands for a minute.

Something like this never happened before. It wasn't supposed to happen, yet it did and I felt a sudden rush of anger towards my dad. I sniffed and walked out of the bathroom to my closet in my room. I pulled it open and some clothes and put it in the duffel bag which was under my bed. Then I grabbed my toothbrush and stuff like that and threw it in the bag as well. I grabbed my purse and ran down the stairs.

"Julie, where are you going?" My mother shouted as she saw me ran through the living room. I couldn't see my dad.

"I'm staying at Kim's tonight." I told her as I shut the front door behind me and I ran towards my car. At least she didn't stop me. I got in my car and dumped my stuff on the seat next to me. As I tried to get the engine started I saw that I had run out of gas and I cursed under my breath.

This had to happen now!

I pulled out my phone and dialled Kim's number. Right now, I was craving Kim's company because she would do the exact thing that I needed right now. Comfort. As I heard it go on voicemail tears appeared in my eyes again and I couldn't stop the flow.

I wasn't going to call Summer because she was with Seth and I didn't want to bother her. I pulled out my phone again and dialled a random number. As I waited for the receiver to pick up I tried to stop the tears.

"Yeah?"

"Paul?"

"Jules? What's wrong?" Did he pick up my mood already? I pressed my lips on each other.

"Are you busy?" I asked, my voice cracked at the end and I cleared my throat.

"No, I'm free. What's wrong Julie?" I got out of the car and grabbed the duffel bag and pulled it over my shoulder before I grabbed my purse with the same hand.

"N-nothing. I-I just wanted to know if you wanted to d-do something." I lied. I felt tears burn in my eyes.

"Julie, you're a terrible liar, now tell me what's wrong." I sighed and suddenly heard the background. I recognized Jacob's voice and I realized he was with his friends. He didn't want me right now. I sniffed.

"You're crying?" Paul suddenly asked. His voice was concerned.

"N-no. It's alright, I'm sorry. You're busy."

"Jules shut up for a second and tell me what's wrong. I can't help you if you won't tell me what happened." Paul insisted and I knew he was right. Before I knew it tears were running down my cheeks again and my voice was cracking.

"I had a fight with my dad." I confessed in a small voice. I heard Paul sigh on the other side.

"Jules… Where are you now?" I looked around and I couldn't place my surroundings and I realized that I didn't notice that I was already walking.

"Somewhere outside my house." I murmured. Sobs built up in my chest. I couldn't help but let a few escape.

"Jules?"

"I think he hurt me."

"_What?_" His voice was serious. "Julie? What did he do?"

"He didn't mean to." I immediately defended. "I fell."

"I'm coming." I heard him grit his teeth in anger. "Don't move Jules, I'm coming."

"Oh-kay." I heard him hang up and I held the phone in my hands. I wasn't so sure if I did the right thing, calling Paul. But right now I did know that I didn't want to be alone and since I couldn't go back home.

Paul was there in less than ten minutes. He must've driven quite fast to reach me and how did he know where I was in the first place? I wasn't that specific when I told him where I was. But all of that didn't matter right now. I sighed as he pulled over and got out of the car. He looked at me and I felt my eyes burn again. He pulled me into his embrace.

I hadn't realized I was shivering but when I felt Paul's warmth I noticed how cold I was. I wasn't the only one that felt it. Paul's warm hands were running up and down my arms and I buried my face in his chest. I felt his warm lips on my head; I pulled myself closer to him.

"Shhh." He soothed and I noticed that I was crying. I pulled away from him brushing away tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot." I added feeling like a moron. I felt him trace my cheek.

"Your cheek?" He asked for confirmation and I nodded. I looked at his face. His strong jaw was clenched in anger and I could see that he was forcing himself to stay calm. I appreciated the effort.

"I'm going over there." He suddenly exclaimed and my eyes widened in shock. No, he couldn't go over there!

"NO!" I almost screamed and I grabbed his arm as I tried to hold him still.

"You can't go!" I shouted. "N-no! It's okay, he d-didn't mean to."

"Julie!" Paul exclaimed and there was a hint of anger in his voice. "Let me at least give him a piece of my mind, and more!" I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine."

"No you're not." He didn't look convinced and his eyes suddenly fell on my wrist that was now exposed to the cold. He pulled away my sleeve a bit more as he held it close to his face. I gasped, suddenly seeing what he was seeing. It was already blue. How come I didn't feel that? You could see the shape of my dad's fingers and I heard Paul's hiss of anger. My bottom lip trembled.

"I didn't know." I confessed looking at him. He grabbed the back of my head with his hand and pulled me closer to him. I put my hands on his chest.

"Hey, don't cry. It's alright, come on, why don't you come home with me. You can stay the night. Did you bring something?" I nodded and he grabbed my duffel bag from my shoulder as he pulled me to the other side of the car. He held open the door as I got in.

"Let's go." He said and I heard something in his voice that made me smile.

"You sure your parents won't mind?" I suddenly asked. He shook his head.

"Nah! They wanted to meet you for quite a long time actually." Aha! So no pressure at all. I whimpered.

"Oh don't worry Jules, they're gonna love you." I sighed not convinced and rested my head against the window.

"What were you arguing about?" Paul asked as he started the engine. I shrugged.

"The usual. Things I haven't done." I confessed. Paul sighed. I felt his hands on my hair as he ruffled it affectionately. I pulled away.

"My hair already looks terrible without you making it worse Paul!" I whined and I heard his low chuckle, but it sounded forced. As silence engulfed us I knew that there were things running through Paul's head. He was far too concentrated on driving.

"Paul." I sighed. "I can hear you think, you know."

"Then you do know that I'm not so thrilled right now." I knew he was holding in his anger. Which I found really thoughtful since he knew that I hated it when he lost his temper.

"I know you're upset, but honestly, you have to believe me." I began. "I think he really didn't mean to. You should've seen his face, he was so confused."

"Julie, could you do me a favour and stop defending your dad, please?" I felt tears burn in my eyes again as I heard the harshness of Paul's voice. I closed my eyes and felt a tear escape the corner of my eye. I ignored it.

"If you will let it rest." I responded quietly. I heard him grit his teeth and suddenly he pulled over. I looked around, we weren't there yet. I looked at Paul and his dark eyes looked conflicted. He wiped his hand across his face and suddenly he looked exhausted.

"Jules, you're my imprint." He started. "It's my job to protect you but I can't always be there, you know that do you?" I sighed but nodded anyway, he was always so damn persistent about this. "So if something happens and I'm not there…" He trailed off and exhaled deeply.

"You don't _have_ to protect me, I can manage you know." I told him, feeling slightly indignant. Thinking I wasn't strong enough. "I'm stronger than you give me credit for."

"I know that, it's just. There are things you_ can't_ handle." He stated, there was more to that sentence than he let me know and I felt my chest tighten. When I mentioned him to be honest with me I didn't realize that the truth was brutal. I entwined my fingers in my lap and looked at Paul. I decided not to react.

"It was an accident." I insisted. "This isn't going to happen again." Paul groaned and rested his head against his seat.

"It better not happen again." After that he became incomprehensible and he bended forward kissing me gently. I let him kiss me before I pulled back and rested my head against his.

"You're such an exaggerator. I'm fine." I persisted and I heard Paul groan in protest and he put his hand on my cheek, rubbing the skin underneath my eyes. I closed my eyes in response. Paul's touch always seemed so gentle despite his rough nature. I sighed as he pulled away and got the engine running again. This time we didn't speak and I didn't make an effort to start a conversation.

**^*^**

"We're here." Paul said as he stopped the car. I glanced at him wanting to say no shit Sherlock but, I refrained myself. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. They were not going to bite me or something. I opened my door and got out of the car as Paul grabbed my duffel bag. He beckoned me to him and I fell in his one armed embrace.

"Your heart's racing." He muttered and I looked at Paul. I didn't know he could hear my heartbeat. I rolled my eyes; it must be some wolf thing.

"Great." I murmured. "Just great." I heard him laugh.

"Relax Jules; you look like you're going to a funeral. It's not a big deal; I met your parents didn't I?" He had a point there. He didn't complain… much. I nodded my head and let him pull me to his front porch. He pulled out his keys and opened the door.

The first thing that always struck me about his house was the feeling of home. His house was beautiful from the outside. Big, comfortable, homey and not to mention beautiful. The inside was even better though. The pastel colours used in the living room made the room look even bigger than it was and give it a welcome feeling.

"Paul, is that you? Sam just called; he wants you to patrol at seven. I've already started dinner so you can eat before you-" I looked at the small woman. Her long black hair was pulled in a bun with a few strands framing her heart shaped face. Her big hazel eyes were looking at me as she wiped her hands on a towel. I bit my lip and looked at my shoes.

"Mom, this is uh Julie Lynam." Paul said carefully and I realized that he was nervous as well. He was such a little liar.

"So this is Julie?" Her mother came up to me and put her arms around my shoulder as she pulled me away from Paul. "It's so nice to finally meet you dear. I was starting to worry that Paul had made you up."

"Mom!" Paul exclaimed and I had to laugh.

"No, I don't think he has enough imagination for that." I told his mother. She laughed and I felt some of my nerves ease.

"That is true dear." Suddenly she gasped. "I haven't even properly introduced myself." I smiled. She was so sweet.

"I'm Hestia Matson, Paul's mother, but I think you've already figured that part out." I laughed. "I hope you're staying with us for dinner." I looked at Paul and I saw his eyes snap to his mother.

"She's staying the night actually." He told her and I felt a slight awkward moment come up. What if she didn't want me to stay?

"Oh, I see. Well I'm going to fix the guest room then. Why don't you show her around, dear?" She said to Paul and she gave me a smile as she turned around and disappeared up the stairs. I turned to Paul.

"I don't necessarily have to stay you know, I can go home if your mother prefers." He shook his head as he walked to me and he put his hands on my shoulders. His warmth seeping through my clothes immediately.

"You're not going home tonight, trust me." He assured me and I shrugged. "Besides, my mother loves you."

"I'm sure she does." I said sarcastically, I wasn't here long enough for her to like me yet.

"Suit yourself Jules." Paul pinched my side and I jumped up glaring at him. "Come on baby, I'll show you around." I wondered what the baby stuff was all about. I didn't mind though. It actually felt nice when he said it, less trashy then expected. I let Paul pull me through the living room up the stairs.

He showed me the first floor where his sister's room was located and his room and the spare room that served as a guest room. I was going to sleep there. According to him the second floor wasn't that special. His parent's room was there. Last time I was here we went directly to his room after he showed me around downstairs. You can kinda guess what we were doing. I sighed, suddenly craving to touch Paul.

"You know." I whispered as we stood in front Paul's room. "I really wanna kiss you right now." Paul's eyes snapped to mine as he looked down at me. He raised his eyebrows and he looked really pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes as he lowered his face to mine. I could feel his warm breath on my lips and I swept my tongue over my lips self consciously. His warm brown eyes looked at my lips as his hands went to the small of my back. He suddenly pulled me to him and I let out a small yelp. I couldn't help but smile.

"I really wanna kiss you too." He whispered and I sighed when his warm hands were under my shirt tracing my sides carefully. I pushed my self on my toes and moved my lips to his. He pulled away and I could've killed him. He was teasing me. I put my hands on his shoulders and glared at him.

"Tease." I murmured as his lips suddenly kissed the spot under my ear. I swear, I think my toes curled. I sighed blissfully as his lips trailed down to my neck.

"Julie honey, you're not a vegetarian right?" I heard Hestia say as she appeared from the guest room. I quickly pushed Paul away from me and flattened my shirt as I looked at Hestia. I shook my head.

"Nope," She looked at the both of us with suspicion in her eyes and nodded.

"Good, anyway, Paul, Sara's been asking about you. You don't mind spending some time with your sister when she comes home." Paul shook his head.

"Course not." He murmured and Hestia nodded before she descended the stairs behind us. I let out a breath when she had appeared from sight and looked at Paul jabbing my finger in his chest.

"That was close." I said as he cringed in pain. "Oh shush." I snapped my fingers at him. "That doesn't hurt you at all." Paul rolled his eyes and pulled me to the door on the other side of the hall.

"Come on, I haven't showed you the bathroom." I frowned, what was so special about the bathroom?

"This is the bathroom." He said as he switched on the light. I looked around. Nice. It wasn't that special, just an average bathroom. I looked at Paul and saw that the door behind him was closed. Ah, I think I caught whatever he was planning.

"You know, we could've gone to your room." I told him as I crossed my arms. Paul thought about it.

"Yeah, suppose so. But that would've been a bit too obvious." He said cheekily and he pulled me to him again. I put my hands on his shoulder again and moved to his hair, running my fingers through it. I loved the feeling of his hair. It was so soft.

I don't really know who started kissing who first all I knew was that suddenly we were kissing. And I liked it. His hands went to the back of my thighs and I suddenly squeaked. He pulled away.

"What?" Nothing, absolutely nothing. I knew my head was red and I felt slightly embarrassed. Suddenly realisation dawned upon Paul and he sensed the issue. The issue I didn't even know about.

"Sorry." He told me and I pressed my face in his shirt shaking my head.

"Don't worry." I told him. I was new to all of this and I knew it was all about going with the flow but sometimes it just catches me off guard. His lips reattached themselves to mine and as his tongue pried open my mouth I felt my stomach tighten in such a comfortable painful way. It was hard to explain, the feeling wasn't that comfortable but it was somehow pleasant. I pushed myself on my toes again but our height difference made the whole kiss slightly unpractical. Sensing the problem Paul grabbed the back of my thighs again and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist automatically. I didn't even think.

"You" kiss. "okay." Kiss. "now?" Another kiss and I made an agreeing sort of noise. He caught it and I felt my butt collide with the counter and he settled me there. His hands moved upwards and I felt him trace my sides. I pulled at the short locks of hair and I heard him growl. I smiled. It was sort of funny hearing him. My legs were still around his waist and I tightened my hold as his hands were dangerously close to my chest.

I had to think about this, but somehow thinking was a difficult task when someone was kissing you like this and I let myself being caught up in the intensity of our make out session. I realized that we were being awfully fast paced when it came to being intimate and somehow it wasn't that big of a deal but I did know that there were things I wanted to wait with. But right now I was more focused on kissing Paul thoroughly.

I pulled away my lips and raked my lips across his jaw moving to his ear. My hands were moving down to the hem of his shirt and I made the fast decision getting rid of that shirt. I dropped it on the floor and my hands roamed over his chest. His chest was hard and well defined and it felt good so good to feel his hot skin under my hands. I heard his shaky breath on my shoulder and I dug my nails on his back when overwhelmed by an emotion called lust. I felt doubt rise.

"Don't you think…we're going…too fast?" I breathed out and I found out how shaky my own breath was. I tilted my head back when suddenly Paul's lips found my throat. My toes curled yet again and I raised my arms involuntarily and he discarded my shirt next. His lips pulled away from my skin and I opened my eyes to find him looking at me.

"You set the lines." He told me firmly and I felt envy that he had such control over his voice. I nodded and swallowed before I put my hand on his cheek pulling him in for another kiss.

His hands went down my sides as he dipped his finger in my jeans breaching my underwear. I slightly scratched his chest as my fingers ran down his chest to his waist. I gripped his hips and pulled it closer to mine. Pleasure ran through my core and I couldn't help but let out a moan. It felt so good. My head was spinning as his tongue roamed my mouth in a series of rhythms.

I saw the familiar spots again and I realized that I was burning hot. I wanted to hit myself when I realized what it meant. I pulled my lips away from him lazily and I felt my actions were sluggish. I heard a small buzz and it was hard to distinguish any other sound as everything blurred together.

"Paul." I gasped. His lips were on my shoulders as he pulled away the strap of my bra. "It's…" Never knew that talking was so difficult when you felt like you were suffocating. "too…hot." I wondered if he heard me. But when he pulled away and his hands were on either side of me I knew that he knew. His hands supporting my weight.

"You're not going to faint on me, right?" He asked, sounding more than just amused. I groaned and rested my head against his shoulder.

"I'm trying not to." I told him, holding back the urge to punch him for being amused. "It's not my fault you're too hot.' I could practically _feel_ his smirk. He nuzzled my bare shoulder and pecked it lovingly. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply, hoping my temperature would drop.

"Maybe we should continue this in a cold shower?" Paul suggested cheekily. I snorted.

"In your dreams." I replied. He grinned mischievously as he looked at me raising his eyes suggestively. I slapped his arm. "You're incorrigible."

"You like it." He snorted and I rolled my eyes. Sometimes he was just so confusing.

"You know your parents are going to kill us if they'll find us like this." I told him as his hands went to my hips gripping them tightly. He shrugged.

"Then we make sure we don't get caught." He remarked as he pulled up my bra strap and put it back where it was before. Suddenly I heard a giggle and my eyes widened as I turned to the door. Paul did the same thing and I heard him swear under his breath. I put my hand on his mouth not wanting him to rub off on his little baby sister who was standing in the doorway looking at us with wide eyes and a big smile.

"We just corrupted your sister." I gasped.

Paul let out another string of profanities as I dropped my hand.

**_A/N: Please review, and thank you for taking your time to read my story =]_**


	24. Girl Could Get Lost, Tonight

_**Disclaimer: Not mine! **_

**_A/N: Finally! I can update again, the stupid thing wasn't letting me upload this document. Hence the delay. Anyways, thank you for the reviews, I'm glad you enjoyed it! People have been asking me whether I'll do a LEMON, and I've decided... The answer is yes! I'll give a warning though, so for the people who don't want to read it can skip that part! Personally I think it's challenging, because I've never written a LEMON before, so it'll be new, but I hope you guys will like it!_**

**_As explanation for the last chapter why Paul and Julie were so in the mood! They're teenagers, they're hormonal, and Paul is litteraly a hot werewolf! Personally I think that's enough of an explanation! Don't all of you agree? Lol! Anyway, here is the next chapter and please review, I'll update ASAP if I reach the uhhh, let's be bold! How about the 380 reviews? I know you guys can do it!_**

**_P.S This chapter, is a bit of a filler but it's a set up for the drama coming up! So expect a lot of tears, angst, fluff and romance! _**

**_P.P.S I know Julie is a little high strung here, but trust me, she has a legitimate reason to be on edge!_**

**_P.P.P.S This chapter is dedicated to my little brother -Not so little anymore by the way, that guy towers over me- because he is just so darn sweet, even though he annoys the shit out of me! I still love him though!_**

**_P.P.P.P.S I'll stop with this now, but have you guys noticed my chapters are getting longer! Cool huh?!_**

_Girl Could Get Lost, Tonight_

"Sara…" Paul trailed off as he suddenly let go of me. Because I was leaning against Paul I lost my balance and I tumbled off the counter, Paul just barely caught me as I pushed my self on my feet again all the while glaring at Paul. I huffed at him.

"Sorry." He murmured as he bended down and grabbed his shirt pulling it over his head. He walked to Sara who was still smiling like crazy.

"What were you doing?" She asked cheekily and I felt my cheeks glow red as I thought about what we were going to tell her. I looked around for my shirt and to my surprise I couldn't find it.

"Paul, where's my shirt?" I hissed. He looked around and retrieved it from under the counter. I snatched it out of his hands mumbling thanks before I pulled it over my head. I looked at Paul, he was looking flustered and he was running his hand through his hair. I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was looking like a birds nest. Great! I quickly tried to flatten it.

"Are you Paul's girly-friend?" I looked at the small pigtailed girl. She was wearing a pink dress and holding a stuffed animal in her hand. I saw it was a grey wolf. That was so cute.

"Uhh, yeah. I'm Julie." I faltered slightly and looked at Paul. He was looking at Sara and me intently and I realized that he was nervous as hell. I smiled and walked to Sara crouching down to meet her eyes.

"That's a nice wolf you have." I told her and she practically shoved her stuffed animal in my face as she tried to show it to me.

"Paul gave it to me. It's for protection." She told me. She bobbed her little head and her pigtails bobbed along. I smiled and turned my head to look at Paul who had a slight flush on his cheeks. He was getting more adorable every second.

"That's a nice clock." She suddenly exclaimed as she looked at my wrist. I eyed the bracelet. Paul gave it, not a day ago. I smiled.

"Yeah, Paul gave that to me."

"Really?" She gasped. She turned to Paul. "I want one too." She demanded looking at Paul with big eyes. He reached down for her and swept her in his arms. I got back on my feet as well.

"I'll get you one." He promised.

"Can it be pink?" She asked and he nodded. Apparently she liked pink. We walked out of the bathroom and I followed Paul and Sara into her room. Her room was the perfect room for a little kid her age. I saw that there were a lot of stuffed animals. Some were on the floor and others were on her bed. The walls were surprisingly white but there was a pink carpet and it reminded me of how I was when I was little.

Paul put her on the floor and she ran up to the littering toys on the floor. She was sure bubbling with energy. I looked at Paul and he was looking at me with a sheepish expression. I wondered if Sara was going to say something about what she saw. I desperately hoped not, I didn't want Paul's parents to think I was some kind of trashy girl. Which I wasn't.

"You think she'll say something?" I asked Paul and he shrugged looking completely lost for a second.

"I have no idea." He murmured.

"Paul!" I heard Hestia's voice as she ascended the stairs. I heard her footsteps and she appeared in view. She saw me and smiled.

"Dinner's ready." She said and Paul turned around.

"We're coming." He told her and she nodded before going downstairs again.

"Sara, let's go and eat." He told her and she got on her feet running to him as fast as her little legs allowed her. The grey wolf was dangling along in her hand. She stood in front of me and looked up.

"Will you watch Thumbelina with me?" She asked and I found myself nodding.

"Sure, come on." I held out my hand and she took it eagerly, practically jumping up and down. I looked at Paul and he smiled brightly.

The three of us walked down the stairs to the kitchen where the dining table was set. I saw an older version of Paul sitting in one of the chairs. He looked up and smiled at me. This must be Paul's dad. I looked at Paul and he pushed me towards his dad.

"You must be Julie." He said holding out his hand. I took it and he shook it gently. "We've heard a lot about you." I turned to Paul, he avoided my eyes carefully.

"Really? I hope its all good Mr Matson." I said. His father laughed.

"Please, call me Tyler and yes it was all good." Suddenly Sara demanded attention and she let go of my hand and pulled at her dad's pants.

"Daddy, daddy! Julie is going to watch Thumbelina with me." She said, she was wearing a big smile and Paul pulled me along with him. He held out one of the chairs and I sat down. He was being very gentlemanly.

"Thank you." I quipped and Paul sat down next to me. His hand reached out to mine.

Dinner went by quite well. Paul's family was very welcoming and I felt like I fitted in immediately. This was a relief. Sara was adorable and she demanded attention from every person and I knew that this girl was going to be stealing hearts everywhere she went.

"I have to go in an hour." Paul told me. I looked at him frowning. "Patrol." He elaborated. "I have to patrol from seven till one." I felt my eyes widen. There was a vampire here right now. Or worse, there were more!

"Don't worry Jules. It's just patrol. We're trying to keep La Push safe." I found myself nodding. I didn't trust my voice. I suppose Paul felt my reluctance towards the whole situation.

"I know how you feel honey." Hestia suddenly said from the other side of the table. "But the boy won't listen." I actually knew how that was. I felt Paul's hand on the back of my head.

"Mum, you're being silly, Jules you don't have to worry. It's just patrol, okay? No need to be scared." He sounded agitated.

"I know Paul." I responded. "I'm not saying anything, right?" I told him firmly and I turned to Sara.

"Are things under control?" Tyler asked and Paul looked at his dad. He nodded and I realized they were trying to keep it down for Sara who looked at Paul with a frown.

"You're going away?" She asked. Her big brown eyes were wide with fear and I saw her bottom lip tremble. "But you can't go!" She protested. "The cold people will come back."

I looked at Hestia and I saw her pale as Tyler suddenly swept Sara out of her seat into his lap. Sara looked scared and she buried her face in Tyler's shirt.

"What does she mean?" I asked in a tiny voice. Paul's hands were on the table and I could see them shake. His eyes were looking at the wall on the other side and I could see the sharp glare he was sending it.

"Paul!" Tyler's voice was warning. "Hold it son." I looked at Paul while I felt the colour drain out of my face. He was angry, so so so _so _angry that the table was starting to shake. I got out of my chair and steered clear from him. I knew that he wasn't approachable right now. Tyler and Hestia did the same. Tyler held Sara close to him as he shielded her from him.

"Paul! Honey! Calm down, its okay! It's not happening again." Hestia tried to soothe Paul. But it wasn't working. Glints of his silver fur appeared and I thought he was going to phase right here. But somehow out of nowhere he stopped.

His frame, his shaking, his anger. He just stopped. The only thing I saw in his eyes was concern and fear?! I took a step towards him and when I saw he didn't react I moved closer. Paul kept looking at his hands and didn't indicate he knew I was next to him. I put my hands tentatively on his.

"Paul?" I tried reaching out to him.

"I have to patrol." He snapped and he jumped up as he shrugged out of his shirt while leaving the room. The door slammed shut behind him. I bit my lip anxiously and looked at Hestia and Tyler. Both of them sighed and Hestia moved forward and to my surprise she began cleaning the table. I saw a fog of tears in her eyes as she moved picking up all the dishes.

"Why don't you go sit down on the couch?" Tyler suggested as he put a hand on my shoulder. I nodded.

"Do you want me to take Sara?" I asked and he nodded as he gently handed Sara over to me. I could feel her tiny arms wrap themselves around my neck and I knew she was scared. She was clinging to me but I couldn't feel any dampness so I assumed she wasn't crying.

"Hey honey, do you wanna watch Thumbelina now?" Sara pulled away slightly and looked at me cautiously. I gave her time to answer and sat down on the couch. Finally she gently nodded and she got off my lap to move to the TV. I helped her switch on the TV and set the movie. As the movie started and Sara was sitting next to me I couldn't help but let my thoughts drift back to Paul.

He was angry. I never saw him like this, he didn't phase but he was close to phasing. And than you had the way Sara reacted. She was talking about vampires. That I knew. But whatever had happened, was it something that I wanted to know? I seriously doubted it but somehow something told me that it was something I _should_ know. At least, that's what my gut told me. Confusion and doubt filled up my mind and I sighed loudly.

"Oh no!" Sara gasped, in her element again. "The bad bug!" She screamed as she pointed at the TV. I watched the pictures on the screen and suddenly realized something that wasn't appropriate for Disney movies. That freaking dragonfly was a sexual predator.

"The _bad_ bug." I said tonelessly and Sara ignored me as she got engrossed in her movie again.

Two hours passed and Sara had fallen asleep on my lap. The movie kept replaying and I kept staring at the clock. It was nine PM and there was still four hours left till Paul came back. And that wasn't even set in stone. I sighed and brushed Sara's dark hair out of her face and she mumbled some gibberish that I didn't comprehend. I didn't like this feeling. The feeling of unease I had with Paul not being here was almost killing me. I didn't want to be here, I needed something to keep my mind off things but what kind of things could keep me busy for the upcoming hours?

"She fell asleep?" Hestia asked, as she came in and sat down next to me. I nodded.

"Yeah, she was pretty put out." I responded and Hestia sighed.

"I'm sorry about what happened during dinner." Hestia apologized. My eyes widened.

"You don't have to apologize. It wasn't your fault." I responded. "I'm used to Paul's anger by now. Don't like it." I added. "But it's Paul."

"He wasn't always like this." Hestia said. "He used to be the sweetest boy around, the one who never got in trouble. But ever since he phased, it just made him a different person." I was curious now. How did he phase anyways?

"How did he phase?"

"When a vampire almost attacked Sara." My eyes widened. So that's why she was so scared. A vampire attacked her.

"When was that?"

"Well, Sara is almost four, I would say less than two years ago." I sighed, feeling a sudden anxiety creep up.

"And she still remembers?" I asked Hestia.

"Yes, it was something that surprised me as well. I thought she would've forgotten by now because she is so young." Hestia explained as she picked up Sara from my lap and settled her in her own. She stroked Sara's hair and rested her own head against the top of Sara's. It was like she was consoling herself.

I didn't want to know how much pain Hestia must've gone through. As a mother she was so much more in touch with her children's feelings and of course, Sara is the baby of the family; it must've shaken them all up.

"But she still cries at night." Hestia sighed. "Paul never got over it. He started to grow aggressive and there were times he had trouble controlling his anger. Tyler and I…" Hestia trailed off and looked at the TV. "We didn't know what to do and than Sam came and explained what was going on. I was just relieved that I had a reason to justify my son's behaviour."

"And than he met you." She suddenly said. I looked at the older woman. "You changed him. And I'm so glad you came, Julie. You have no idea." I felt my chest tightened and my throat constrict. I managed a nod and I cleared my throat.

"I didn't do that much actually." I answered. Hestia was already shaking her head.

"You did more than you can comprehend. I'm his mother; trust me when I say he changed." I smiled and nodded.

"Okay."

"Well, I'm going to take Sara up to bed. Your room is ready in case you want to go to bed but I assume you're going to wait up for Paul?" Was I that obvious?

"Yeah, if that's okay?" I asked and Hestia rolled her eyes.

"Of course it's alright." She started walking to the stairs. "Goodnight Julie."

"Goodnight."

And so I was all alone. I got up and picked up Paul's shirt that he had discarded in the corner and held it to my face. It still smelled like him. Time wasn't going by as fast I wanted it to go. Not to mention with all the things I just found out it made it hard for me to stay still. I just had to get up and do something, so I settled for pacing and looking outside the window every once and a while. When it was half past eleven I knew I had to sit down. I was making myself crazy with my erratic behaviour. There was no need to overreact like this. Yet it was exactly what I was doing.

_Overreacting._

"Stupid." I murmured. I sighed and turned around when suddenly I saw my reflection in the mirror. I gasped. There was a bruise on my cheek and I knew that it was because of my little accident, only a few hours ago. I raised my hand and flinched when I probed it. I sighed. Another problem.

Being here in Paul's house was comforting, but only when I knew he was alright. And since the state he left in was everything but alright I couldn't help but feel anxious and out of place. Like something wasn't completely right. Not to mention my paranoia when it came to getting abandoned and add up the fear I was feeling in general, well you can say my emotions were all haywire.

I yawned and plopped down on the couch, lying down on my side as I clutched the shirt to my chest. I was facing the front door and my eyes were completely focused on that. I tried to ignore the faint howls in the distance or the strange shimmering of shadows I saw through the window, even though it was freaking me out. I felt tears burn in my eyes as I suddenly realized how big of an idiot I was.

I was so ridiculously stupid!

**^*^**

_Dirt, leaves, trees and the cold radiating from all around me. It took me a while to realize where I was but it didn't take a genius to see that I was in a forest. There was a slight breeze that made the branches of the trees move rhythmically. It would've been beautiful if it wasn't so dark, if the sun was shining and lighting up the whole area. But that wasn't the case._

_It wasn't so strange that I was so terrified, I recognized this place. Only a few days ago I was lost. The feeling of loss was so distinctively clear that it made my heart throb. There wasn't a Jacob Black who would lead me back home this time. There was something else._

_This time it was all up to me. _

_I took a step and I knew that something could hear me with the amount of noise I was making. But maybe they would've heard me anyway, with the way my heart was thumping out of control. I felt my hands shake as suddenly I felt something graze my arm. The way it ghost past me made me think that I might've imagined it but when I felt it again I knew that it was real._

_So, so real._

_I felt cold hands on the small of my back. It was so different from the warm hands I was used to. I flinched away and turned around. There wasn't anything. My breathings accelerated. Everything around me was so quiet that I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. Not to mention that my breathings weren't exactly soothing to anyone._

_I turned around again just to be faced with the most beautiful woman I ever saw. Her red hair was like a beacon, and even in the darkness it was the one bright thing that distinguished herself from everything around her. The one thing that didn't blend together. There was something off about her though, her pale skin, I've never seen anyone that pale, was almost illuminated. There was a slight feline similarity and it was giving me goose bumps. When I saw her red eyes I gasped and opened my mouth to scream. Her cold hand muffled my scream and slowly she inched closer to me as her other arm wrapped itself around my shoulder. Pulling me closer to her as suddenly I could see her sharp teeth move to my skin. I started to trash wildly but her arms were pinning me to her and I couldn't move or escape. Tears were running down my cheeks._

_So this was it…_

"Jules!" My eyes snapped open. I saw black eyes peer down at me in curiosity. My chest was heaving up and down and I started to shake as I rolled on my back. Nausea was running havoc in my stomach and I took a deep breath through my mouth. Hoping that maybe it would soothe me if calmed myself down. I felt warm hands on my shoulders as they pulled me in a sitting position.

I almost forgot that Paul was there, witnessing it all. As his warm hands were running up down my arms to create friction I realized that I was still crying. Or should I say, crying in real life now. I took a shaky breath as I tried to stop the tears when I felt Paul's fingers trace my cheek. When it came in contact with my already bruised cheek I flinched. He pulled away his hand immediately and I felt his eyes on me. He hadn't said anything yet.

"What's going on?" He demanded. He crouched down in front of me and I felt the paranoia set in. "Hey, come on!" Paul shook me and I took a shaky breath and whimpered. This wasn't going right at all. I closed my eyes, in the hope it would calm me down. But when I shut my eyes, the only thing I saw was the bright colour of _her_ hair.

"Julie, you're freaking me out here!" His voice was loud, but at least it pulled me out of my own misery. His eyes were alarmed and confused. The latter being overruled my the former. "Take a deep breath, will ya?" I did as he asked me to do and I felt his warm hand on the small of my back, rubbing circles in order to soothe me. I rested my forehead against his bare shoulder and my hands rested on his chest.

"I'm sorry." I apologized as I got a hold of my breathing. I was facing him now and one of his hands was on the back of my head.

"What happened?" I looked around and opened my mouth to say something when I suddenly I realized something.

"How was your patrol? You're alright, right?" Paul rolled his eyes and I on purposely ignored that.

"It was alright." He told me. "But what happened with you?"

"Nothing." I shook my head. "Nothing, I'm fine." I assured him. I didn't want him to know. I was already embarrassed enough. No, he's not going to find out that I freaked out because of a dream.

"You really think I'll believe that?" I shrugged. Not in the mood to argue.

"Believe whatever you want to believe." I responded. "But I'm okay. So, just…let it go." I finished. He gave me a penetrating glare and I sighed exasperated. Now Paul was here I did feel better, even though he was angry with me. I rather have him like that than not at all.

"Let's get you to bed." He murmured and for the first time since he woke me up I saw the tired look in his eyes. I couldn't 'believe I didn't see that before. Not to mention the exhaustion his posture was radiating. The poor boy was absolutely drained and he found me panicking when he came home. That's not really something you would like to see, I suppose.

"Oh-kay." I breathed and I let him pull me up. Suddenly I recalled his shirt. I turned around to and saw his shirt was on the floor.

"Your shirt." He looked at me and than at the discarded shirt on the floor. He picked it up and put his hand on the small of my back, pushing me gently towards the stairs. We ascended the stairs in record time and I was surprised I didn't fall, but with a werewolf around with super reflexes I doubted that I was going to fall down anyways.

"You're not going to tell me what's wrong, right?" There was a slight edge in his voice and I found my annoyance grow.

"There isn't _anything_ wrong, Paul." I snapped. God knows how much I was overreacting but sometimes I just couldn't get past my head or heart. In this case it was a matter of dignity.

"Whatever." He muttered exasperated and I huffed, feeling the urge to hit him. I glared at him.

"If you don't want to hear my answer than just don't ask." I responded feeling extremely frustrated. He raised his hands in the air and rubbed his face.

"It's not the answer I want to hear Julie. That's the thing that's pissing me off." He responded harshly.

"What doesn't piss you off Paul? You get angry about _everything!_" I hissed. I crossed my arms and focused my eyes on the floor instead.

"Just go to bed Julie, we'll discuss this in the morning." Now he was acting like my parents and I felt the unease creep up.

"How about we don't discuss this?" I suggested and I turned around walking to my room.

I wasn't even supposed to get angry in the first place. I suppose this proved that Paul and I were more alike than we originally thought. I sighed as I closed to the door behind me. I rested the back of my head against it.

I wish I could've stayed with Paul but I suppose that was out of the question.

**_A/N: Please review, my dearest Review Box George is so lonely! And you guys are my fuel for writing this story. Without your support I wouldn't be where I was right now!_**


	25. Hot Temper With The Shortest Fuse

_**Disclaimer: I own Jules, whatcha think of that?**_

**_A/N: So, we didn't get the 380 mark, but ah well. I was in the mood to update so here is the next chapter! Anyway, thank you for the people who reviewed. Weren't that much, but honestly I didn't expect too many anyway, I know I said that the drama would start now but this chapter there isn't too much drama. At least, not the kind of I imagined, but this chapter came out longer than thought so the drama has to be scooted upwards. _**

**_Anyway, I went clubbing, after I don't know how many months!, and I saw the most gorgeous guy. He was like this Paul look a like and I just swooned seeing him. Too bad he wasn't going to the same place I was or else I would've jumped him! Hihihi! The guys I did meet well they were only after girls who didn't talk too much so I suppose that ruled me out! Lol! Nah just kidding, it was fun, while it lasted but I don't think I'll be going clubbing often, it's just not my cup of tea! Besides, it's not fun when you get separated from your friends and you wind up somewhere completely unfamiliar! Which happened to me, sadly enough I wasn't the only person lost and I found myself being groped my a very 'happy' male! _**

**_Embarrassing! Not to mention that I'm fairly clumsy and that someone held out his foot so I would fall down only to be approached by a guy that I shouldn't swoon seeing him! . As if! Right?_**

**_Enough yapping now, here is the next chapter and please review! Let's see if we can get it to the 400 reviews! Whatcha think?_**

_Hot Temper With The Shortest Fuse_

3:30 AM. The time was practically shouting in my face, telling me that it was late and that I needed to sleep, but somehow sleep wouldn't come. Even though my body was exhausted, my mind was on overdrive. Too many thoughts were going through my mind. Mainly about me overreacting. I hated being upset with Paul but you know what's worse. Me feeling guilty about it. I'll be honest, it was slightly selfish of me to blame Paul for out argument but I didn't know what else to do, except blame myself.

I sighed and turned on my side again, the night was cold. But this was La Push, it was always cold. You'd think you'd get used to it all. Another sigh escaped my lips and I turned on my back, facing the white ceiling. This was severely messing with my emotions. One part of me was still angry, while another part of me wanted to hide beneath a rock because there was some embarrassment. While the last part of me wanted to apologize. I wasn't so sure which part to respond to.

Before I knew it I had gotten up and I quickly eyed my attire. It was innocent. White cotton pyjama pants and a black camisole. _Completely_ innocent. I walked out of my room and stopped in front of Paul's room. His door was closed and I hesitated before opening the door and getting in. His soft breathing was the first thing I heard when I closed the door behind me. He was spread over his big bed as he lay on his bare stomach. His legs poking out from underneath his blanket. I doubted he actually needed it. His hair was messy and his mouth was slightly open. At least he wasn't drooling.

Yet he still was gorgeous.

I sighed again and moved to the other side of his bed. He seemed to be asleep and I didn't want to wake him up. As I lifted his blanket to scoot next to him he moved so abruptly that I yelped and I dropped the blanket as I took a few steps back. I could see his brown orbs peer at me with confusion.

Sleep was still in his eyes.

"What are you doing Julie?" I stuttered. What was I going to say? That I was feeling lonely and wanted to annoy him instead?

"I couldn't sleep." I mumbled and he closed his eyes and yawned. He pulled away his blanket and patted the empty space. I beamed and lay down next to him, he wrapped his arm around my stomach and I felt his breath on my shoulder as he buried his face into my neck. I put my hands on his, just taking in the picture for a moment.

Paul was exactly the person that neutralized me. I was, and I know that, quite dramatic, not intentionally of course, but I wasn't that good at letting out my emotions quite well. I rather keep it in and just wait for the bomb to explode. Paul didn't like that. He rather had me explode in smaller doses to prevent the major nuclear bomb.

It was kinda sweet of him to do that.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled and I turned my face to his. I felt his hand rub circles on my stomach and I tried to ignore the clenching in my stomach. "I suppose that might not cover it completely, but I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to freak out on you, honestly."

"Hey shhh." Paul soothed. "I know that. Trust me, I've been keeping tabs on your mood swings, I'm used to it now." He added lightly. I shoved my elbow in his stomach.

"Ouch, yeah guess I deserve that."

"Damn right you did."

Silence engulfed us and I savoured the moment. I suddenly realized that Paul and I didn't have much 'take it easy moments'. I mean, we just got back together from this enormous fight, not to mention that both of us were always in this strange frenzy that seems to take up practically all of our time. I mean, we did see each other quite often but sometimes it wasn't enough. Or so it felt. Paul's hand suddenly moved to my face. It traced my cheek till it reached my bruise. I flinched moving away from his hand. He mumbled a sorry and than a curse.

"I really wish I could hit him right now." And here it came. The rant in which Paul would completely bite off my Dad's head.

"Well I don't want you to hit him." I told him honestly. He didn't mean for it to happen.

"I seriously can't believe you let him to this to you." Paul growled. There was a menace in his voice that wasn't there before and I didn't like the sound of it.

"Nobody _let_ him do this Paul. It was an accident." I reminded him. He pulled away his arm from my stomach and bolted upright. I got up as well and stared at Paul.

"Do you know what this is called Jules? It's called abuse and don't you tell me that isn't true because it is. Whatever he's doing its abuse." I felt taken back by that confession and felt breathless.

No it wasn't, it wasn't abuse. Maybe he was neglecting me but that wasn't so bad. I could live with that. Was living with that for ages now.

"Say something Julie." Paul urged. I pulled away my eyes from his face and looked at my hands, which were folded limply on my lap.

"You got it wrong Paul. It's not abuse. He doesn't hit me on a regular base, nor does he call me names."

"No he emotionally blackmails you." Paul put in sarcastically. "Really Jules, that makes it better." I felt tears burn in my eyes.

"He doesn't emotionally blackmail me. We just don't… connect."

"It doesn't justify his actions Julie. It's not a good enough reason. You're his daughter damnitt." Paul sighed and rubbed his face with his hand letting both of us catch our breaths.

"Can we not talk about this?" I mumbled as tears spilled over. I felt his hands on my neck as he brushed away my tears with his thumbs. I closed my eyes and took a deep shaky breath.

"And do nothing? Don't think so Jules. You need to do something, or at least, let me do something."

"And you'll do what? Hit him?" I pulled away from him and got off the bed.

"I would never hit him." I knew that even Paul didn't believe that. "Although he does deserve a few punches." He growled that last part and I let out a few shaky laughs even though it wasn't funny at all. Because I knew that Paul would really hit my dad.

"Let me help you, _please._" I shook my head before he even finished that sentence.

"I don't need any help. Trust me, nothing is going to happen. He'll ignore me again and I'll ignore him and things will be the way they were." I responded and even though I hated the thought of it, it was true. Reality was often harsh.

"I really don't get this Julie. This masochistic behaviour of yours." Paul muttered as he stood up and stood in front of me. He towered over my five feet five frame. Apparently he was taller than I thought he was. He was six feet four and I personally thought that was huge.

"How was patrol?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Don't you pull that trick with me Julie, it's not going to work." Paul growled at me. His eyes stood casually but in his posture there was some sternness, some stiffness that dominated.

"Just don't, okay? I know we're not exactly the Brady Bunch but every family has its flaws. And so do we." I answered.

"I don't care if you're the Brady Bunch or not, that's not even my point." He grabbed my shoulders shaking me slightly. "You need to stop this self inflicted pain. You _can_ stop this if you let me help you. You deserve a better father Julie. Don't take for granted what you could've had." Paul said firmly. His voice held a certain amount of anger and disbelief. I think the latter was most definitely aimed at me. But he didn't know that this was what I was used to and I didn't know how to change it.

"I know it's difficult." Paul continued. "And you don't need to answer me right now, but you have to face this one day. I rather have you face it now you can. You can't delay the inevitable, Jules." Tears blurred my vision and Paul's face was blurry through my tears I leaned against his chest letting a few tears roll down my cheek.

"I don't want to do this. I'm sorry. But I don't want to do this." Paul sighed and I felt his frame shake slightly. I pulled away and stared at him, why was he getting so worked up about this?

"Are you okay?" I asked carefully as I eyed his shaking. He nodded as he pulled me close again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and focused on his embrace. His arms held me tightly against his chest. Just holding me together as I gave him permission to do that for just a little while.

"You never told me how your patrol was." I mumbled. Desperately trying to ease the tension in the air that seemed to hang over the both of us. Paul shrugged casually.

"It was fine, I thought I had caught a scent of the redhead but the rain washed it away." I stiffened. Red hair? Paul didn't catch my reaction which I was thankful for but there were so many factors playing an issue that made me sick to my stomach.

"Red hair?"

"Yeah, the vampire." Paul elaborated. He looked at me strangely. "Why?"

"No." I shook my head. "J-just asking, that's all." He frowned but nodded anyway. "What about her?"

"Nothing much Jules. She's been tormenting the reservation for a few months. You remember those missing tourist, well apparently she's been killing them." My mouth felt dry and I blanked out every word he said. So there was a red haired vampire running around. Set loose and Paul and the others couldn't even catch her. She was just one vampire. The pack, it was enormous. How could they not catch her?

"Hey, Jules? You there. You zoned out on me for a while." Paul snapped his fingers in front of my face and I looked at him startled.

"How long have you guys been chasing her?" I asked. Paul shrugged nonchalantly.

"Give or take a few months." He replied. I gulped.

"Why is she here anyway?" I blurted out as I sat down on the edge of the bed. Paul crouched down in front of me. His warm hands resting on my knees. His warmth seeping in through the fabric of cotton pants.

"Bella Swan." He replied. Bella Swan? The chief's daughter? I voiced that thought out loud.

"Yep, that's her." He said.

"And a vampire is after her?" I said sounding astound. I couldn't believe that. Why would a vampire stick around for so long just for Bella Swan. She wasn't that special, right? Paul nodded.

"Why?"

"Well, to sum it up. She dates a vampire who killed the redhead's mate because he was trying to kill Bella." I blinked a few times. I tried to wrap my head around it. So Bella's boyfriend had killed the redhead vampire's mate, because he was trying to kill Bella.  
_  
Typical._

"So you're telling me, that Edward Cullen is a vampire?" I sounded bleak.

"Yeah." I think I'm going to be sick. Who would even do that? _Date_ a vampire? Was she crazy?

"Has she grown mad? Is she stupid? How can you possibly date a vampire? He would suck up her blood, right?" I exclaimed. Paul shushed me by putting his finger on my lips.

"Well, they claim not to drink human blood." Paul explained as he seemed to approve my reaction.

"They're vampires." I replied in an obvious tone. "It's what they do!"

"Trust me, I'm with you but since they're not 'harming' people on the rez, well there isn't much we can do. Except protect our own people from them."

"How do you do that?" I asked. It seemed strange to keep away the Cullens from the reservation, but since Paul mentioned it, I've never seen a Cullen on La Push. Ever!

"The treaty. They're prohibited from stepping foot on La Push." I sighed. So we were all safe from them.

"Wait a minute." I suddenly murmured. A horrible thought entered my mind and it was making my insides churn. Blood was leaving my face and I felt slightly light headed. "Doesn't their father. Carlisle Cullen work at the Forks hospital? The same hospital my parents work in!!!" I almost screamed that last part.

"Hey, easy now. Don't worry. I don't think they would harm anyone from the reservation since it would give us permission to hunt them. But this treaty is going way back. They haven't broken it."

"Yet!" I put my face in my hands as terrible scenarios ran through my mind. My parents, they were in the hospital with a vampire. Someone who lives off blood. I felt Paul wrap his arms around me and I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Don't worry. We're protecting them." Paul assured me. Another thing that bothered me.

"Can I be honest with you?" I mumbled as I pulled away from him. I cupped his one cheek in my hand. "I really don't like the idea of you hunting these vampires." Paul rolled his eyes. An amusing grin was on his face.

"You don't have to worry about us. We're stronger than you think. We're made to kill those things." Yeah, that's what worries me. It meant that that they were putting their lives on the line. And that may be very noble but if something ever happened to Paul. I don't know what I'd do.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. I mean." I swallowed. "You can still get hurt. You're human." I pointed out. "They're not." I put my hand on the spot above his heart. "I'd don't know what I'd do without you." I confessed quietly. I knew he had heard me. With his superpowers and all! I sighed. "You have no idea how important you are to me."

"I think I do." Paul murmured back and I felt my chest tighten when I saw the affection in his eyes. He kissed the tip of my fingers and I bended forward. Kissing him gently on the lips.

His lips that always made me crave more. Not to mention his hands. God they're hands were made to make my toes curl. I know that this confession of mine made some feelings more prominent than others. But since none of us really told each other this out loud, well it was bound to make a certain impression. Which is why I didn't complain, not that I ever did, when Paul grabbed my waist and gently lowered me on his bed as he hovered over me.

My own hands were more preoccupied with roaming over his back. I never got enough of him. Once we were in such a comprising position my brain would shut down and I would let my instinct take me further. I think that it was the same way with Paul. His hand went down my side and settled on my hip. My stomach clenched and I arched my back into him continuing our open mouthed kisses. His breath was raspy, I could hear him growl as it rumbled in his chest and I responded by hitching one of my leg around his hip. His hand went from my hip up my shirt. Taking the hem of my camisole with him. His bare skin came in contact with mine and my stomach clenched.

I sighed as suddenly his hand slipped underneath and his hand roamed over my bare back. I wasn't wearing a bra which meant there was more freedom, more than we were used to. As his hand brushed my side I shuddered. His mouth pulled away from me as he looked down at me inquisitively. I didn't want to know how I looked right now. Probably all mushy because that's how my insides felt. At least I wasn't the only one breathing loudly, that would've been slightly embarrassing.

"I think we should stop now. Or else I won't want to." Paul confessed. He is voice was raspy. I nodded, feeling slight disappointed as Paul rolled off me. We both took a few minutes to calm down. I propped myself on my elbow facing him.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked. He looked at me with the sweetest face every. I couldn't explain it. It was just so endearing.

"You just did." Paul pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

"Funny." I told him. Paul grinned and I tapped is nose.

"Go ahead."

"You'll tell me when something big happens, right?" I wanted an honest answer from him. Because I couldn't bear it if something happened and I didn't know that. Paul groaned at that and closed his eyes before taking a deep breath.

"Jules, can you do me a favour and just not worry? Things are going pretty darn well." He assured me. Or at least. He tried to.

"Liar." I breathed out. "That redhead vampire is still out there!" I pointed out.

"Yeah, minor detail you need to ignore." I glared at him. A minor detail? It was a vampire for crying out loud! I scoffed.

"Look Julie. I don't want to exclude you from it all but I rather not involve you in the pack business."

"Why not?"

"Because, unlike you we are able to protect ourselves from the leeches. You on the other hand, you will only get your self hurt. Or worse." Paul shuddered and I shivered along with him. "Not to mention if they find out our weak spot. Well we'll be in a shit load of trouble!"

"So I'm a weakness?" I felt hurt by that. I know I wasn't that strong as most imprints. And with that I meant Summer and Emily. Both of them are so remarkable. But I also know that I'm not as lenient as Kim. And I sure as hell ain't a female wolf like Leah, but still. It hurt. More than it should've.

"No Julie. I didn't mean it like that. It's just. If you get caught in the middle of all of this. Both of us might not survive." I bit my lip. "I don't want to put you in a situation like that. I just don't."

"But you risk your own life. Let me be a part of that." Paul hissed in anger and glared at me.

"You're crazy! You are not going to be a part of that Julie. God, you're being an idiot! What part of you been fragile don't you understand?" Paul ranted. I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm.

"Paul." I hissed. "You're overreacting."

"Me? Dude, you're the one suggesting something that's freaking ridiculous. Not to mention that these kinds of liabilities will get us killed!" Now that really did hurt!

"One, who are you calling a dude? And two, I'm not planning on being a liability." I hissed and I got out of bed ready to walk away again.

The way our moods swung made my head spin and I was sure that I was going to grow a few grey hairs if we continued like this. I felt Paul's arm around my waist as he halted me in my steps and lifted me off my feet. I grabbed his arms for support. The sudden movement wasn't expected.

"What are you doing?" I yelped.

"You got it all wrong!" Paul hissed. "I didn't mean it that way. But you have to understand that I tried explaining it gently to you. But I cannot and will not involve you into something you cannot protect yourself from. So just, do what the other imprints do." Paul finished. That last bit was pathetic. It made me sound like I was being held by a leash. Which I wasn't.

"And do what?" I snapped. "Cook the whole day?" Paul sighed and I pulled my hands out of his grip and put them on my hips.

"No, that's not what I meant. Jesus Christ, you're frustrating." He murmured that last bit and I felt a stab of hurt in my chest. Sometimes it seemed that his mouth wasn't connected to his brain.

"God!" I exclaimed and I slapped his chest as tears of frustration and anger appeared in my eyes. He saw those tears and softened trying to pull me into a hug. I dodged him and pulled away.

"I swear to God, you'll be the reason I'll be grey pre-maturely." _Sorry. _Paul raised his eyebrows in unbelief.

"What about me? It takes to two to tango baby. You're not the only one." _I'm sorry too. _I stuck out my tongue and just like that both of our anger was forgotten though the whole issue was still present. Only we were less aggressive.

"We're so dysfunctional." I murmured and raised my hands to my head and Paul chuckled.

"True, but I wouldn't want it any other way and look at the bright side. We're communicating." I let out a laugh and wrapped my arms around his waist lazily kissing his chest.

"Doesn't mean I won't end up killing you." I confessed mischievously.

"You couldn't even if you wanted to." That was so true. I felt his lips on the top of my head. Warmth spread through my veins and I perched myself on my toes and kissed the base of his throat. His slight scruff tickling my skin.

"I love you."

"I love you too. More than you will know Julie Lynam."

"You forgot my middle name." I quipped.

"Oh, right. Julie Virginia Lynam. Is that better?"

"Much." I grinned loftily, my expression mirroring that of Paul. We were most definitely dysfunctional. But if was honest, I wouldn't want it any other way. Because no one else would be able to put up with my antics like Paul did. And I knew that nobody else would understand Paul the way I did.

The way he wanted to be understood. Because that part, well that part was completely mine. And nobody else's.

**^*^**

I could hear movements. Soft, hushed voice. I wasn't coherent though, and nor were they. Or so I thought. I sighed and turned on my side instead. I was aware of the fact that I was in Paul's bed. I was also aware that Paul wasn't next to me. It was far to cold for that, hence the blanket that has been draped over me. Suddenly I recognized the voices.

Paul and his mother Hestia.

"Julie was with you the whole night?" Hestia questioned. There was a certain authority to it and I knew that Paul wasn't going to lie about it.

"Uhh, yeah." He sounded slightly embarrassed that Hestia had caught us. I felt guilty. I never meant to cause him any trouble.

"Did…something happen?" My heart lurched.

"Mom! No! Sara is just across the hall, I would never!" Paul protested. He sounded slightly hysterical. So he does have a dramatic streak!

"I was just checking sweetheart. I'm your mother." She reminded him, I heard him grumble something incoherently. "I know you're an adult Paul." Hestia replied. "But you're still my son."

"Yeah, yeah." He mumbled.

"Breakfast will be ready in an hour. Make sure to wake up Julie and tell her to put some ice to her cheek. I really don't like the colour it's turning." She sighed. "Poor thing, do you want me to talk to her mother?"

"I don't think she'll appreciate that." Paul responded. My heart stopped in my chest. Was it that bad?

"But still." She sighed. "I'll be downstairs."

The door closed behind her and Paul sat down on the edge of the bed. I kept my eyes closed and my breathings as delayed as possible. Giving him the idea I was still asleep.

"Julie?" I felt his hand on my shoulder. His warmth seeped in and my skin took it all in immediately.

"Jules? I know you're up."

Busted.

I snapped my eyes open and looked at him sheepishly. He rolled his eyes in a amusing way and I smiled at him as I got up. I saw that he was already dressed and ready. There were circles underneath his eyes but he seemed radiant anyway. I moved forward and rested my head against his shoulder, pecking the base of his throat. I felt his lips on my head as his hands went to my hips. His warmth was so easy to drown in and that's exactly what I did.

"You were talking in your sleep." He mumbled. I frowned. Really? I never talk in my sleep.

"Really?" Paul nodded and he looked slightly troubled. I didn't understand what was troubling me and I wasn't so sure if he wanted to tell me just yet.

"Oh, well that's strange. I never talk." I responded.

"No you don't.'" I sighed and moved away from Paul commenting that I needed to get dressed and walked to the guest room where I was supposed to stay. But I sorta didn't. As I walked into the room and grabbed my clothes from my duffle bag I suddenly realized that if I was talking in my sleep, than it was about my previous dream. My mind blanked out. I turned around feeling slightly dazed when I saw Paul stand in the doorway. He was leaning against the door casually. His hair was sticking out like he just got out of bed but it looked really nice. He was wearing a simple brown shirt with his normal jeans, hugging his low hips.

"I'm gonna take a shower." I said as I moved past him stopping just to peck his mouth. He pulled me in deeper than thought. My hands were clutching my clothes as his tongue invaded my mouth, exploring the all too familiar area. I was replying quite eagerly when he suddenly pulled away.

"Whoa." I mumbled.

"Do me a favour." He told me. "Don't worry, alright?" I nodded, feeling slightly isolated from the whole problem that was occurring. I wasn't so sure what was worrying him but I nodded anyway. Hoping to ease him.

"Good." And he rested his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes.

I didn't like the sentimental Paul; it didn't suit him that well. It just doesn't not to mention that I felt slightly responsible for his problems. It always revolved around me.

Whereas it shouldn't.

Because without me the world would keep spinning around, but without me Paul wouldn't function.

At least that applied to me as well.

**_A/N: You know the drill! The song inspired for this chapter is I Want You by Kelly Clarkson! Amazing song!_**


	26. He Could've Bowed Out Gracefully

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**_

**_A/N: So this will be the last chapter in a while. Things have been pretty hard lately, and it resulted into PTSD. For the people who don't know what that is -doubt it though- it's Post traumatic stress disorder. I personally never realized that it went that far, I'm not so sure whether it'll affect me in person that much because apparently I haven been living with the symptoms a long time. Anyway, some exams are coming up as well, I have such a strange school, and that will be taking a lot of time. In a month I'm going on a trip, so I'll be gone for another two weeks. So, this is the last chapter for a month or so. After that, I'll try to update as soon as possible. I hope you guys won't desert this story because of my absence. I have no intentions of leaving this story, dont worry about that. I love Paul and Julie too much. But things are just a bit too overwhelming. Anyway, enjoy:_**

_He Could've Bowed Out Gracefully_

Time went by smoothly. The end of the school year was coming closer and closer and I was excited for the summer to come. Although it did mean that I had to move to Washington when the summer was over. And that meant that I would be leaving Paul. And that meant that both of us wouldn't be together for a long time, I wasn't so sure if I could handle that. But I couldn't just give up on my dream like that either. But when somehow Paul found out, well let's say his reaction wasn't as happy as I thought it would've been.

And we were so happy engaged into something I loved doing with him before.

Kissing.

"Jules."

"Hmm?" I opened my eyes just to see Paul peer at me quietly. He did that a lot. Stare I mean. He would do that and things would get awkward on my side which would result in to mirth to him. Neither sounded amusing to me though.

"What?" I snapped. "You're so bursting my bubble here." I complained as Paul moved away from me. I was feeling so blissful just a second ago when his heat got a bit too much to bear and he had to pull away. I was started to cool down again.

Paul laughed as he plopped down next to me. We were still fully clothed. I sorta hated that. Can you blame me though? My boyfriend is super hot, in looks and temperature and here we are. All home alone. Compromising position and all and he backed out on me. Just because I'm slightly unconscious didn't mean I wanted him to stop.

Okay, unreasonable here.

"You can go on, you know." I persisted, trying to be subtle and I looked at him with a hopeful smile. Paul rolled his eyes.

"We're not going to get anywhere if you keep fainting on me." Paul pointed out and I scowled.

"It's not like I'm doing it on purpose, you're just too hot." I complained and I looked at the ceiling of my room when suddenly I got an idea. Of course!

My fan!

I jumped off my bed and switched on the fan; I practically ran back to Paul and lay myself across his stomach as a breeze filled my room. I checked the door and I knew it was safely closed, keeping unwelcome foes away. The blinds were shut as well but light was still shining through it all. But at least we were safe from people outside. I grinned loftily at Paul and he smirked back flipping me on my back immediately, hovering above me.

So this was it.

His lips attached themselves to mine and we moved gracefully as he explored my body. For the millionth time, he said he never got bored of it. I believed him since the feeling was mutual on my side. I was eagerly tugging at the hem of my shirt and he pulled away so I could discard the troubling piece of clothing.

"Eager aren't we?" Paul teased.

"Shut up." I pulled him by his collar close again and he grunted when I caught him off guard. The way his body hovered above mine, his weight pressing into me felt so good. I wondered if it felt good for him as well. I mentally reminded myself to ask him.

My thoughts were cut off when we discarded his shirt and both of us were upright in my bed. Me straddling his hips and our lips moving in a rhythm that made butterflies explode in my stomach. I was holding on to his shoulders while his hands moved to my bra strap. Before I knew it he had pushed me down again and he was on top of me again. This time I could feel his excitement on my leg and I didn't mind at all arching my back into his stomach. He growled in my mouth and I moaned at the same time.

His mouth pulled away from mine and he trailed kisses down my throat to my collar bone. From there his mouth laid a trail down to the swell of my breasts. I realized I was slightly tense and I felt his hand rub my side in a calming manner. He felt it and he was trying to ease me into it. It calmed me down, a bit.

I'll be honest, the thought of sleeping with Paul was exciting and it had been playing on my mind for quite a long time and I had figured out I was ready but I was still slightly scared. Since I was still a virgin and Paul wasn't. He knew what he was doing, I wasn't. I just hope it didn't burst his bubble. I hoped he didn't have any expectations. I wasn't sure what to expect.

I remember Kim telling me that it was the best feeling ever. Summer told me that the first time was always awkward. Emily told me that with werewolves it was very passionate which meant I should always be prepared. Which I was. I think.

My stomach clenched and I bit my lip to keep a moan inside as suddenly Paul suddenly went down my stomach. His lips were marking me, biting, licking pleasantly, I had the sudden urge to buck my hips but his hands kept me down. He moved to the button of my jeans and before I knew it my jeans were undone and he was pushing them down my legs before discarding them on the floor with the rest of our clothes. He pulled me up by my arm and I wrapped them around his neck as he bit down on my lobe. I hissed and dug my nails into his back.

My hands moved to his jeans, shaking slightly. Before I comprehended what I exactly did he was out of his jeans. Both of us just dressed in our underwear. Everything felt so much more intense now.

Here we are. Staring at each other, with nothing separating us besides a few thin pieces of clothes. Both of us were breathing loudly, his chest almost touching mine even though we weren't that close anyway. He looked at me with question in his eyes. His hands grabbed mine hands and suddenly I felt cold. Even though I had Paul to warm me up.

"We can stop if you want to." I bit my lip. Did I really want that?

I mean, how many times haven't I dreamt about this? Too many times. Now it was here and I was thinking about backing out. I knew that if the moment was there we would be constantly backing out and with me things were always slightly overanalyzed. I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I told him. My breath was shaky but firm nonetheless. Or at least the message was. Paul nodded and he let go of my hands pressing his lips to my shoulder before pulling down the strap of my bra. It seemed innocent though I knew his intentions were everything but innocent. Nor were mine.

I was ready now.

His hands played with the clasp of my bra and before I knew it he had it figured out and it snapped open. He didn't pull it off me immediately, as expected, in stead he stared at me, waiting for consent. I took my own initiative and pulled it off, throwing it on the floor. I avoided his eyes feeling the nerves catch up with me as they hit me full force. Suddenly things seemed so much scarier than before.

"Uhh Paul?" I murmured. He pulled away a bit. "You know when I said that I was ready and I am, really, really am but. Like. Did you plan this? I mean. We did, right?" Oh God I was rambling. Paul looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes and I realized I was breathing a bit too loudly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Paul urged. I nodded eagerly.

"Yeah, yeah. Like we can totally do this. Uhu." I nodded. I pulled him in for a kiss again and I felt nervous butterflies swim in stomach making me dizzy.

"Paul, is it gonna hurt?" I blurted out pulling away again. I heard him sigh and he put some distance between us. "Like, do you know if it hurts?"

"Did I hurt you?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No, I was just wondering. Is this going to hurt, I heard girls say it hurts. But I don't know because I haven't done this before and since you have, I figured…you might know." I trailed off. I looked at him. He ran his hand through his hair and I saw him think.

"Well, I don't know. I'm not really a girl." He responded and I rolled my eyes.

"I know you're not a girl. But did your previous uhh 'happenings' complain about pain?" I looked at him with nervous eyes. Gosh my nerves were through the roof. Like on the height where you get dizzy. I was that. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Julie, we don't _have _to do this. I still love you. I don't want to pressurize you." He said. And suddenly everything came in perspective. I was going to be scared anyway. But I had Paul to guide me through it. It was alright.

"I love you too." And just like that I gave him my consent.

I felt Paul's lips on me and I replied with a kiss. This kiss was tender and soothing as his hands were rubbing up and down my back before settling on my sides moving upwards. Shivers went down my spine and I realized I was shaking slightly. Paul pulled away again, sensing the issue.

"It's alright." He murmured against my lips. "Don't think, just feel."

I took him on that advice and I wrapped my arms around his neck, we fell back on my bed our lips moving in synchronize, I was much more enthusiastic now and slightly nervous in anticipation. But Paul was here, and that was more than enough. His hands roamed up my sides, teasing the sides of my breasts. His hands were teasing in all the right places actually. I arched my back into him as his lips settled on my collar bone when suddenly I heard a door slam.

_Shit!_

Both us stopped our movements staring at each other in shock when suddenly he snapped me out of it. We pulled away from each other grabbing our clothes from the ground, putting it on as quickly as we could. I looked at Paul from the corner of my eyes as he shrugged on his shirt. He was already done and I had just pulled up my jeans. I glared at him for his speed.

"Crap, crap, crap." I murmured as I pulled over my shirt and smoothed down my clothes and hair, trying to appear normal whereas I felt on edge and slightly erratic.

The door opened and I was glad that mum only saw Paul sit behind my laptop as I was on the floor with my sketchbook opened. She smiled seeing Paul and greeted him.

"Hello Dena."

"I didn't know you guys were here." My mother said as she looked at me with a curious expression. _Well that was because you weren't supposed to find out!_

"Really?" I feigned innocence. "I thought I told you this morning."

"No you didn't."

"Oh, too bad." I murmured as I focused my eyes on my sketchbook. I hoped she didn't see that both of us were a bit too frazzled than normal. She didn't however, thinking I was the innocent virginal daughter.

"Paul honey, do you want to stay for dinner?" My mother asked.

"Sure, that'd be nice." Paul responded and he flashed me a cheeky grin. I smiled back at him.

"That's good. I'll be downstairs." My mother said as she turned around and both of us heard her descend the stairs. I looked at Paul letting out a sigh.

"That was close!"

"You're telling me." Paul said sounding slightly uncomfortable. I realized his problem, I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry." I said. "Is it really bad?"

"Nothing I can handle." His voice sounding strained. I sighed and I got up wrapping my arms around his shoulders from the back pecking the top of his head.

"You are so cute." Paul grimaced pulling away.

"I'm not cute." He said firmly. I laughed tapping his nose.

"You _are_." I reminded him as I settled myself in his lap. His arms were around my stomach and I was smiling feeling smug.

"You are cute." Paul responded, his voice was gruff and I just loved the faces he was making. Going from disgust to unbelief and affectionate. He couldn't seem to make up his mind.

"Not as cute as Kim." I said knowing that it was true.

"Trust me, you're cuter than Kim." Paul said and I frowned. "Really! Everyone thinks so. You're the one with the chubby cheeks." My hands moved to my face and Paul laughed. I shook my head.

"You're the one with the bambi eyes." He continued and I rolled my eyes mumbling that it wasn't true.

"Summer has gorgeous eyes." I said, interrupting him. Paul nodded thoughtfully. Who couldn't agree to that? Summer had the prettiest eyes on the rez. They were emerald green and not that common in our tribe.

"True." He said and he kissed my nose. "I still prefer yours."

"That's because I'm your imprint." I reminded him. He shrugged and he rested his chin on my shoulder.

So maybe we didn't get as close as thought, we had plenty of time. Maybe it wasn't meant to be? Or at least, not right now and I was fine with that. Suddenly Paul pushed me out of his lap and he reached for an envelope that I had hidden beneath a stack of paper. That paper was sprawled all over my desk now and the envelope was out in the open. My heart stopped and I stiffened looking at it. Paul looked at me curiously and I moved to take it away from him but he got up quicker and before I knew it he was reading the letter inside it.

"You never told me you got accepted to the Academy of Art." I shrugged feeling slightly guilty.

"We were apart when I got that letter." I confessed. "After that, I sorta forgot about it."

"You forgot?" Paul sounded like he didn't believe me. Hell I didn't blame him. I wouldn't believe myself if I were in Paul's shoes.

"It didn't cross my mind."

"That's a lame excuse Jules. How can you forget to mention that you got into the University you've been dreaming about for the past few years?" _When you put it like that…_

"I'm sorry." I apologized looking at Paul as I moved closer. "It wasn't my intention, I just…" I trailed off pathetically. "Are you angry?"

"No, just…" Paul trailed off and a flash of hurt seem to cross his eyes. The guilt intensified.

"I didn't mean to keep you out of it. I just didn't think of it anymore." I tried to ease all of it but it didn't work. Paul opened his mouth to reply but the shrill ring of his cell phone cut us off. He stared at me for a split second before he pulled out his phone.

"Yeah?" I blanked out afterwards. There wasn't a worse feeling than what I was feeling right now. I really didn't mean to keep him out of this, it wasn't intentional, I just forgot about it because I was more focused on my misery revolving around Paul. This just seemed so insignificant, whereas it wasn't. Not all. It just paled in comparison to the importance of Paul. He was such a big part of my life now that college seemed so far away.

It wasn't though. We only had a month left before we had our exams and after that the summer would be here and all of us would be going to college.

"I have to go." Paul exclaimed and he turned around. I stood there, deciphering everything for a split second when I ran behind him. I heard him tell my mother he had to go and he couldn't make it to dinner. Was he just going to leave?

"Paul!" I yelled as I jumped down the last step running to the kitchen. Both he and my mother looked at me slightly startled. I guess I was being a bit too overdramatic. I glared at Paul though. He sighed and moved to me pecking me on my mouth. My mother turned around giving us space.

"We'll talk later." He promised in a hushed whisper. I felt tears burn and I tried keeping them in.

"Okay." I croaked and he let me go.

"Bye Dena." He waved and my mother smiled brightly.

"Bye sweetheart." I sighed as Paul closed the door behind him. I could hear the engine of his car and I plopped down on one of the chairs in the kitchen. I could feel my mother observe me. She wasn't stupid. She could put two and two together.

"Is everything alright?"

_No._

"Yeah. Of course." My mother nodded thoughtfully as she turned to the refrigerator. I wasn't happy right now, things were going so well and now things were starting to go back to the way they were. Irrational. I huffed in annoyance.

So what I didn't tell him? Is that such a bad thing? He knows now, right? It's not like I would wait till the summer would be here and than I'd announce that I was leaving for College.

But that was the plan and another wave of guilt poured over me.

"Are you alright honey? You seem distraught." Yeah, that's the word, distraught.

"Fine." I mumbled.

"Alright then. I have to go to the grocery store to get some errands, I'll be right back. Do you need something?" My mother asked me as she wiped her hands on a towel.

"Uhh, why don't you let me go? I need the fresh air." I proposed and she nodded as she moved to her purse.

"That would be lovely dear." She said and she handed me a fifty dollar bill.

"Make sure to get some…" She named the things she needed and I added up my personal things to it.

"Alright, I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Take your time." I put on my shoes and grabbed my coat and my car keys. This time there was gas.

As I started the engine and drove to the ten minute drive to the La Push grocery store I tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I focused on the job and parked my car before I got out and moved to the store. It wasn't a really big store, but they had the necessities and that was more than enough. I grabbed the things my mother needed and than some more.

All in all I was done in twenty minutes. As I paid for the groceries and packed them in two paper bags I suddenly felt two eyes on me. I turned around, my eyes scanning the space. I didn't see someone. Just the old lady smiling at me brightly. I smiled back and waved before I carried the bags to my car.

I had just put them in the car and was closing the door when my keys fell on the floor. I moved to pick them up when suddenly a force halted me halfway. I felt my back being slammed into the car door and I gasped for breath, my lungs emptying themselves from oxygen. I looked wide eyed at the person when he put his hand on my mouth.

"There will be no screaming." He told me. He sounded so sober. "Understood?"

A flash of fear went through me and I felt my knees shake in the effort to keep standing. I nodded for safety's sake and he dropped his hand before he stepped closer pinning me against the car with his body. He didn't feel good, let me tell you that. It felt wrong, forced. Not the way it was supposed to feel. His hands trailed down my shoulders down to my hips where he gripped them hard. I gasped out loud.

"Remember what I told you?" He suddenly asked. Confusion ran through my mind and I knew it reflected on my face. He saw the hesitation and suddenly his dark eyes hardened with a glint of something I couldn't decipher. A shiver went down my spine as she suddenly pressed his body closer to mine. I whimpered and moved my face to the side as I felt his damp breath on the skin beneath my ear. His hands were really gripping me hard. I tried to move against his grip but I immediately wished I didn't. His hands suddenly gripped my shoulders painfully and he slammed me against my own car.

Stars danced in my vision and panic blinded me briefly. Of course this had to happen when I was alone and 'vulnerable'. Tears started to burn in my eyes and before I knew it they spilled over, staining my cheeks.

"What do you want?" I said. My voice shaky.

"Do you have _any_ idea in how much trouble you got me?" What the hell was he talking about? I didn't do anything. I avoided him, after Paul attacked him I hadn't even thought about him.

"Because of your _boyfriend_" Dante spat. "the case is getting reopened. They're re-evaluating." I gasped and he pressed his forehead against mine. He was so darn close that I couldn't breathe. I didn't like the way his body pressed against mine, far too intimate but the worst part was that no one would notice anything.

"Apparently he had talked to Lily and she decided to try again. I'm being sued. _Again_. And it's all _your_ fault." His voice was so hard and menacing that it thought it might bruise me, if his hands hadn't done the trick.

"Why are you telling me this?" I sobbed. I wish I didn't know that Paul had done this. I assumed when he told me that it was a cover up for the fact he was lying to me about him being a werewolf. I hadn't thought that it could've been true. After all, why would he do such a thing?

"Because I promised you something. I'm planning to follow through." Fear flooded me. He wasn't kidding. Oh dear, he wasn't. As his mouth moved closer to mine I started to trash my arms hitting him everywhere I could.

It didn't do anything though. As his mouth pressed to mine his hands roamed freely. I tried pulling away but his wet mouth bit on my lip and pried open my mouth. His disgusting tongue was everywhere as his hands pushed against my backside, feeling his arousal on my inner thigh.

I was so blinded by fear and panic it took me a while to react but even then it was futile. I tried raising my knee so I could hit him somewhere sensitive but his other hand intercepted my knees and with that he pushed me to harder against the car. Tears were running down my cheeks. This wasn't what I had expected, not something I wanted to be confronted with. A flash of courage surged through me and in a desperate attempt I raised my hands and dug my nails on his face. He screeched and moved away and I quickly raised my knee, this time kneeing him in the crotch. A moan of pain escaped his lips and I bended forward grabbing my keys before I moved inside my car. I slammed the door and started the engine with shaky hands. I was gone in less than a minute.

I was gasping, breathing for air as I drove above the speed limit. But I could care less. I was more focused on getting out of here. I was terrified, disgusted, nauseated and pretty much befuddled. So overwhelmed with the heightened rush of emotions I was afraid I would hit a tree or something. I wanted to go to Paul but than decided against it.

He would blow this way out of proportion. He would fight with him and I could risk getting him hurt or suspended, or worse. He could get sued for assault. Another wave of panic went through me and I lost control of the wheel for a split second, making a strange U turn.

Telling Paul was out of the question.

I was on my own now. I glanced in the mirror and suddenly reality hit me. Dante was planning to do the same thing to me as he did to Lily. And this was only the first try. I screamed and stepped on the brakes opening the door as I emptied the contents of my stomach on the road.

This wasn't over.

**^*^**

As I pulled out my key out of the ignition I felt drained. I had calmed down a lot and was able to think rationally but there was still a surge of panic going through me when sudden movements were made. I don't want to know how many times I almost drove into a tree. I exhaled shakily and stepped out of the car shutting the door gently when a warm hand settled itself on my shoulder. I screamed.

"Jesus Christ! Julie!" I stopped abruptly turning around just to see Seth stand behind me in his sweatpants and simple blue shirt. "What the hell?" I stared at him for a split second but something churned in my stomach.

"I think I'm going to be sick." I murmured and Seth looked at me with concern in his eyes when he suddenly hauled me up in his arms, moving to the nearest bush. A bile rose in my throat and I emptied my stomach, or at least, what was left in it. Seth kept rubbing my back as he held back my hair.

I dry heaved a few times before I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. God, my mouth tasted horribly. I leaned back against Seth and he kept a firm grip on me, still rubbing my back soothingly.

"Are you alright?" I shook my head. "You don't look so good either. God, you're pale." I wiped away strands of my hair with shaky hands.

"What's going on here?" My mother appeared in view and I looked at her wide eyed. How could I have forgotten about her?

"I think she's sick. She just threw up." Seth clarified and my mother put her hand on my forehead looking worried.

"She's burning up." She exclaimed and I tried to pull away but my legs were wobbly and I almost fell down. Seth suddenly picked me up in his arms and I didn't complain as he brought me inside the house.

"Let's get her upstairs." My mother ordered Seth and he ascended the stairs with me in his arms. He laid me on the bed and sat down on the edge holding my hand. I tried to get upright but my mother scolded me.

"Stay still Julie." I sighed and put my head on my pillow.

"I'm alright, I just got nauseous." I clarified but it felt like no one was listening.

"Maybe it's the stomach flu?" Seth proposed and my mother frowned.

"I severely hope not." I shivered pulling the blanket over me.

"I'm alright; can I just go to bed?" I asked and both my mother and Seth looked at me with hesitation written all over their face.

"Alright. I'll be back soon sweetheart." I nodded. Seth pecked me on the forehead and walked behind my mother as she dimmed the lights and left the door open. It looked like she was coming back soon.

I sighed feeling tears engulf me and I shut my eyes, trying to stem the flow. I took a shuddering breath. Please let it end now.

Please.

**^*^**

I didn't sleep that night. My mother came in every few hours to check on me only to find me reading a book. She was worried, that I knew. Her round eyes always stood with concern when she saw me and she even proposed to call Paul to cheer me up. I asked her not to. He would know that something was wrong in a split second. I rather avoid that.

"Julie honey, maybe you should try to eat something." I shook my head. I hadn't eaten anything since I got back home yesterday. I didn't go to school today either. Paul called a few times but I didn't pick up. He left a few dozen messages which annoyed me; if he was so worried he could've come over, right?

But then I would have to see him and I still wanted some time to think things through. I was still feeling like I was in this surreal bubble. When Paul would come he would drag me from this bubble. Which meant I was exposed again. Which meant, I had to tell him. I preferred staying in that bubble.

When I went to bed that night it took me four hours before I finally succumbed to some sleep. I woke up a half an hour later in tears anyway. I wasn't sure how to react. I knew what I was feeling. I was feeling drained, tired, scared, shaky, like someone was watching me constantly and I couldn't do anything. I kept hearing things I couldn't see and it made me question if it was real in the first place.

"Don't scream." I felt a hand close my mouth and my eyes widened. I clutched the arm, digging my nails into it. I couldn't believe it, he was back so soon? Here? My parents were in the same house! Panic rose in my throat, tears jumping in my eyes.

"Julie, calm down it's me." I fell back against Paul's chest as I recognized his voice. He lifted his hand and he appeared in view. My bottom lip was trembling and I knew that tears were shining in my eyes. He looked wind up. Like he ran all the way. I looked at my door and got up closing and locking it immediately when I moved to the window. I shut the blinds and turned on every light I had in my room.

"Julie?" I ignored Paul and moved to the bathroom door. I had a little window there and even though it was practically impossible to get in the house that way, I still wanted to make sure it was closed. I locked the bathroom door from the outside as well, thinking it might be safer that way. Paul just sat on the bed, observing me quietly.

When I was finally done he pulled me in his lap. I collapsed against his chest thankfully and he swung my legs on either side of him so I would be straddling him. His hand was rubbing circles on my back and I nestled my face in the crook of his neck.

"You alright now?" I nodded. Now I was alright.

"Can you tell me what all of that just was?" He was being frighteningly patient. Too much.

"You scared me." I admitted half willingly.

"Sorry baby, I didn't mean to." I nodded and closed my eyes, taking a deep gulp of air. His hand went down the length of my hair, rubbing my neck.

"How are you feeling now? I saw what happened." I frowned. He saw.

He _saw_.

"How?" I choked.

"Well, Seth phased afterwards and I saw it in his head. You gave that pup quite a scare." I sighed, exhaling loudly.

"What do you think I was talking about?" Paul asked, sensing that something wasn't right. I shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Julie?" Paul brought out. "If you keep things from me… You're making this difficult for me." Paul continued.

"I'm tired; can we do this tomorrow morning?" Paul sighed he hesitated before finally letting down his guard.

"Sure, let's get some sleep." He agreed and as I crawled back to bed he laid down next to me.

"You're staying right?" Paul nodded.

"Sure." He pecked me quickly on the lips. "You need the sleep anyways. You don't look so good."

"Thanks." I mumbled sourly. He chuckled lowly.

"Don't mention it." I was too tired to hit him, besides I would've only hurt myself if I would hit him.

I liked the fact his arms were wrapped around my waist firmly. The fact that he was pulling me so close made a bit of the fear disappear. It was still there, but now I was able to sleep. Or at least, without waking up every five minutes. I sighed and buried my face in the crook of his neck, pecking him gently before resting my head there.

"I'm not angry." Paul spoke up. I frowned. "I was just hurt that you didn't tell me. But I understand now."

"Thanks."

"Anytime." He murmured and I shivered when I felt his breath on my neck.

"Paul."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

**_A/N: Please review, and I'm sorry that Jules is so angsty, but we knew that Dante wasn't going to let her go that easily. Right?_**

**_P.S: I'm upping the rating to M. :) _**


	27. Another Hand Upon Me

_**Disclaimer: Nothing bla bla bla.**_

**_A/N: I am so terribly sorry for the delay and the lack of updates. Things have been rough but I'm getting better and so have things around me. But school is still a hassle and with graduation getting closer I have to work my ass off. But besides that, I came to a stop with this story but than realized I still wanted to continue. So this chapter is crap. And I seriously mean it. But I hope you guys will still review because that's what keeps me driven to write. The next chapters will be more angsty and filled with drama. This is more a filler for now. But this story is coming to an end and the sequel will hopefully be out afterwards ;) Anyway, please review oh faithful reviewers! _**

**_P.S I got a new Paul OC story. It's Not Me, It's You. It's different from this one :) Check it out :D_**

_Another Hand Upon Me_

So they say it's easier to hurt than to heal.

They've never been so right!

I agree, hurting is easier then healing. Healing requires confrontation, which requires courage, which is something I didn't have. I wasn't so sure how I was going to save myself from this mess I was forced into but I did know that I had to try it on my way. I couldn't tell Paul yet, I had to fix it myself. But I knew I couldn't do it on my own and I didn't know someone neutral enough who could help me without going ballistic.

So Seth was out of the question. I couldn't tell Summer either, nor Kim. Because she would go to Jared who would go to Paul in a split second. I didn't know the other pack members well enough to confide in them. So basically, there was no one left. I really was pathetic.

I opened my locker and stuffed my book in it, trying to find some peace of mind. I hadn't slept in the past few days. Even though my mother had me convinced it was better if I stayed home I still couldn't. This was my senior year. I just couldn't skip any more school if I wanted pass my exams. So I forced my self to go to school and hope that I wouldn't see Dante.

That was impossible though. I saw him several times, but I was always surrounded by people that he didn't have a choice but to keep his distance. I was rarely alone because I forced myself to be around people. Paul was with me almost the entire time. He seldom left me by myself. But now, it was nice to have just a second for myself. Even though it may not be the smartest thing to do.

I sighed and a hand placed itself on the locker next to me. I turned around when I was suddenly banged against my own locker. Through the sharp pain I blinked in the face of Dante Williamson. He was looking at me with his black eyes filled with anger. Unlike Paul, he wasn't shaking, he was terrifyingly calm and that scared me. There was no warning whatsoever.

"You really shouldn't do this." I brought out as I struggled to move underneath his arm. But his leg cut off any way of escape and I felt the despair creep up on me

"Don't." His voice was cold. Like ice and I cringed inwards.

"Look, I'm not the one you're angry with." I tried to negotiate.

"No, but you are the reason why I'm in a shit load of trouble." I swallowed the lump that threatened to overwhelm me.

"Hey, what the hell is going on!?" I snapped my eyes open when I saw a sophomore come my way. Her dark hair was up in a bun, and her sharp eyes were directed to Dante and he scowled letting me go in an instant.

"This isn't over yet." He told me before walking away.

***^***

"Are you alright?" I swallowed and nodded mutely at the girl who stood next to me. Her tall, boyish stature was somehow comforting but I kept quiet anyways. She put her hand on my shoulder and I flinched but she didn't let go, as opposed to what I was expecting. I looked at her with a. embarrassed expression. The paranoia was there, but it was like something was blocking it entirely. I had no other choice but to go with that.

"I'm Kari." She introduced herself. I smiled weakly.

"Julie." I responded and she nodded and finally let go of my shoulder.

"Are you alright? I don't know what he's playing at but, don't worry. He won't be able to do something soon enough." She promised me and I realized I knew what she was talking about. But how did she know?

"I know that." I told her and she frowned at me. Her dark eyes suddenly portraying understanding.

"Oh."

"Thanks Kari." I said carefully as I closed my locker. "If you weren't here. I …"I trailed off. "Thank you, but could you keep this quiet?!"

"Why?" She demanded and I shrugged at her.

"Please, can you do that?" I urged and she finally nodded. I smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You really shouldn't keep this quiet though." Kari complained as she leant against the locker next to me. I shrugged.

"Look, I don't know if you know what he did to my cousin but I'm not going to let him to the same thing and get away with it. So, please you-"

"Lily, was you cousin?" I cut her off.

"Yeah, why?" So I was talking to Lily's cousin, someone who knew. Maybe that's why she knew he was being sued again.

"No, I knew her as well." I said carefully and Kari nodded.

"Jules!" I looked up and saw Paul walk towards me with a smile on his face. "There you are." And he kissed me on the cheek before turning to the girl next to me.

"Oh, sorry." I said as he looked at me pointedly. "Paul this Kari, Kari this is Paul." I introduced and Kari smiled at him a bit shyly. I guess she was a bit intimidated by him.

"Kari was just here to…" I trailed off. Thankfully Kari jumped out to help me.

"She's my tutor. Mrs Berkeley told me I should ask Julie." Kari made up and I let out a breath hoping Paul wouldn't notice anything.

"Oh, that's great Jules." He looked at me, slightly surprised. "In what subject."

"History." Kari piped up and Paul looked at me.

"History, now that's interesting." He was smirking at me, knowing I didn't like history that much. I slapped him on the arm.

"Shut up." I said and Paul laughed.

"Well, thanks Julie and I'll see you later." Kari said as she moved away from us.

"Yeah, we can discuss when we're free." I said pointedly and she nodded and waved at us.

"Bye guys."

"Bye."

I picked up my discarded bag and walked to our next class. I knew Paul was bursting and I couldn't help but want to get it over with. I stopped walking and pushed Paul in the chest. He didn't move.

"Fine! Out with it." I demanded and Paul rolled his eyes amused.

"Fine. You, tutoring. Since when?" He asked and I shrugged.

"Well, unlike you, the teachers do trust me." Paul scoffed and crossed his arms as he looked down at me. I smirked at him. The previous paranoia dying away in his presence.

"They do trust me." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say." I said, clearly not convinced.

"Brat." Paul murmured and I couldn't help but shrug my shoulders at him. He grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me into his chest. I yelped and dropped my bag on his feet. He didn't flinch or whatever merely pushed away the bag. His warm skin felt good on mine and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"There is a bonfire this Friday. You should come with me." He said and I pursed my lips. The way he was asking it, well, if you could call it that way, he was merely stating it and expecting me to come with him.

"If you ask _nicely_. Maybe." I told him and Paul bended his head; I felt his breath on my cheeks.

"Please?" I smiled at him.

"Sure. I'd like to." Paul kissed me on the lips briefly and I stepped away from him.

I felt strange. And it wasn't the lack of sleep I was talking about. More about something else. But I couldn't figure it out even though I knew the catalyst behind it. The whole day it was like this and I wasn't the only one who saw it. Summer was frighteningly perceptive. She kept glancing at me and murmured something to Seth who would do the same thing. I felt like everyone was moving around me instead of with me.

Paul didn't know something was wrong. Or maybe he did and he chose not to react. But whatever it was, it was something that slowly spread and there were only a few people who didn't bother to hide their obvious looking.

And I knew it was somehow justified but I couldn't help but feel like a showpiece in this little soap opera I was tangled up in. Not to mention I was dragging down others with me.

I had no clue what to do.

**_A/N: I know Julie is a drag right now, but bear with me and her! Please, you'll understand more and more about her and next chapter or the one after that will be in Paul's POV. Loved writing that :D_**


	28. How Can A Body Contain Something So Grea

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**_

**_A/N: Alright, here it comes you guys. The semi lemon! Sort of. I personally hate, I've never written a lemon before, or something like that, so it sucks bad, it's strange. I'm embarrassed and I didn't want to publish it at all! So you guys can throw bad lemons at me! If you want to!_**

**_Second of all, I got a review, an anonymous review who told me, very snottily that Paul's last name is Walker and not Matson. Well now I can say, very snottily, there are no records of his last name, I looked it up! Just so you know! _**

**_And now I'm back again :D Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter! I loved them, but it's so funny, that this story has over 215 alerts, yet cannot manage to get more reviews than 15 a chapter. Come on guys, where are the other 200?! Lol! Anyway, enjoy this chapter, I hope and please don't be mad at me for screwing it up!_**

_How Can A Body Contain Something So Great?_

"Damn, you're annoying right now." I felt stings of hurt pool around my chest and I frowned indignantly. I didn't meant to be annoying and the only thing I said was that I didn't feel like going to the bonfire.

"Julie, come on. It's Friday night. It wouldn't hurt to come. Besides, you're going to hear the tribe stories." Paul grasped my shoulders with his warm hands, shaking me slightly as he forced me to look in his eyes. I met his gaze halfway. His dark eyes demanding, yet gentle.

"I know Paul." I said. "But I'm just exhausted, and I don't want to be rude by falling asleep halfway." I explained.

"How can you possibly be exhausted right now? We just slept for two hours." I shrugged at his question pulling away from his grip and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"You're not sleeping." It wasn't a question so I couldn't deny it, but honestly, I was ready for Paul to find out yet there was something blocking it and the more dominating part of me, that didn't want to tell Paul, took over and I shrugged again, only this time, it looked defying.

"It's not important." I told him. "Stress for exams, that's all."

"Bullshit." Paul scoffed and he looked at me. "Now tell me the truth." He demanded and I sighed exasperated and moved past him up the stairs to my room. Every day he seemed to come here and we would sleep two or three hours and than he'd go back to his place to change and do patrol.

I knew Paul was following me, even though he was more graceful than me, especially for someone his size, I knew it. I rubbed my forehead as I ascended the last step and rounded the corner to the door at my left. I didn't bother to close the door and fell on my stomach on my bed; my room was cold since I hadn't turned on the heating. I closed my eyes for a bit when I felt the mattress sink in. I opened my eyes again and saw Paul's blue shirt and I sighed.

He pulled me close by my waist, practically lifting me up with one hand and draped me over his lap. My face was buried in his heavily woodsy scented shirt and I couldn't help but sniff a bit, merely because it felt nice to be like this. His hand was rubbing my back and I wrapped one arm around his neck. I felt him peck the side of my head.

"You know I'm gonna find out anyway, right?" I rolled my eyes. He wasn't going to find out. That I knew.

"Yeah, yeah." I murmured drowsily and I felt his exasperated sigh vibrate in his chest. I pulled away, feeling aggravated my self. I glared at him feeling the familiar anger rise again.

"You can't stop, can you? You've been nagging me constantly and I'm getting tired of it. Just stop!" I almost yelled and I stood up from him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back, I didn't have a choice and I slammed back in to him.

"_You're_ annoyed? Baby, how do you think I feel when I know you're hiding something from me? Well I feel a bit more than just annoyed. I'm fucking pissed you're doing this thing again. Keeping me out of this just because you think its best." I opened my mouth to reply but the anger that flashed in his eyes made me shut up. He was angry, and I could see it in the way he manoeuvred.

I sighed and felt the familiar sting of tears again. I rubbed my eyes and kept my hands on my face. Hoping the betraying tears wouldn't come out. "If you put it like that." I began weakly but Paul cut me off.

"Look, just leave it. We'll talk some other day. Just come with me tonight, alright? It'll your mind off things. Alright?" I nodded reluctantly and Paul pecked me on my forehead before he gently kissed me.

The past few days I hadn't kissed him properly and since the moment was here I felt the sudden urge to catch up with the lost days. I put my hands on his face, pressing closer to him and moved my lips the same way he was, following him on almost everything. His hands roamed down my back to under my shirt. I moaned as his warm hands contacted my skin and I felt my face flush already.

I pressed myself even closer to him and moved my own hands under his shirt. I wasn't thinking properly, everything was hazy but it was a good kind of hazy. And with that feeling I found myself lying on my bed with Paul hovering over me. His shirt already discarded on the floor, mine a close follower. The buttons on my blouse were annoying and I cursed myself for thinking of wearing this blouse today.

Paul pulled away from my lips and I heard him mutter a curse and I laughed softly before unbuttoning it myself. His lips attached them to mine immediately and I felt him pull off my blouse. Both of us were shirtless now and I stopped kissing him to look at him.

I knew we weren't going to get disturbed this time. My parents were in Portland this weekend so we had the whole house to ourselves and the bonfire wasn't till nine tonight and it was only five now, so we had plenty of time.

His eyes were focused on me as well and I saw the question in his eyes.

"You sure?" Both of us asked at the same time and I smiled kissing him softly.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He smiled at me crookedly and kissed me back gently.

"Good, so am I." And with that I started to kiss him again. I nipped at his lips begging entrance as his feverishly hot body covered mine. I held on to his shoulders as his hands went to the back of my bra. He snapped it open and discarded it on the floor. His lips moved down my lips to my throat and I felt my stomach tighten in pleasure.

I was in it for sure now. Everything felt like it was on fire. I was shaking in anticipation and my heart was beating so loudly I was sure it would burst through my chest any minute now. But Paul seemed so sure of what he was doing I had no other choice but to rely him completely.

I was scared yes, terrified if I was honest. But I wanted this so badly and he'd been so patient with me. I've heard of boyfriends who'd broken up with their girlfriends just because they didn't want to sleep with them. But nothing of that with Paul. He was so damn patient with me that sometimes I felt like he was trying to be celibate. But I knew better.

"Jules." His voice was deeper than usual.

"Hmm." I brought out as his feverish lips went down my throat again. His hands were on the sides of my breast, kneading them in a painful slow way. It was almost torture. I moaned and arched my back in to his stomach and he suddenly flipped us over so I was on top of him. I balanced my weight on the hand next to his head as his hands skilfully went down the small of back to my hips. He was fumbling with the button of my jeans.

"I don't have a condom with me." He said and I sighed into the kiss before pulling away again.

"Don't worry, I'm on the pill." I told him. Thank God for overprotective mothers. She wanted me to use the pill since Paul and I were getting so serious. It was embarrassing at first, but now I'm glad.

We were going fast and I was comfortable with that. If he went any slower than this I would probably die of anticipation and the slow torture. We turned around again and I was on my back as I kicked off my jeans. I moved my hands to his jeans and his were off in a second and soon we were in our underwear. He looked at me and I could see the desire and not only that, I could feel it as well. It was pressing against the inside of my thigh and arousal spread through me.

I put my hand on his jaw and pulled him closer, kissing him again.

We moved as one.

His hands were everywhere. Moving up and down, where his skin, separated from mine, left trails of fire behind. When he finally breached my underwear he carefully pulled them down and I kicked them off. He did the same thing and before I knew it I felt the tip of him at my entrance. He pulled away and I took a deep breath before he gingerly slid inside of me. It was going well until I felt him hit my barrier. I suppose the pain was about to come now.

"Tell me when it hurts." He told me. "And I'll stop." He sounded so in control that I envied him. I felt like I was going to explode. Especially since both of us were so exposed. He could see everything, I could see everything. Both of us were vulnerable and I could hurt him with the sharp edge of my words.

The feel of his bare skin against mine was addictive. He fitted in a way I never thought was possible.

"Oh-kay." I whispered and before I knew it he pushed further and the flashing pain came. I scrunched my eyes shut and felt tears escape. This was not what I expected. Yes it was supposed to hurt but this felt awful.

This piercing pain was going through my whole body and I wasn't sure how long it was supposed to last. I felt Paul's forehead pressed against mine as he tried to shush me. He was using all his strength to make this all about me and love blossomed at my chest, spreading throughout my whole body, filling it with warm affection.

Gradually the pain lessened and I opened my eyes, more tears escaped.

"Ouch." I murmured and Paul looked at me with guilt in his eyes. He raised his hand and slowly wiped away my tears, kissing the sides of my eyes.

"Sorry babe. You alright now?" I nodded my head in confirmation and Paul shifted a bit before we started to move together.

"You ready?" He asked and I nodded again. As he pushed out of me and into me again I felt something else. Something that I couldn't describe, it was dominating and I inhaled sharply. It was burning and churning in my stomach and I realized I wanted him even closer.

This burning in my stomach that seemed to reach a climax was almost unbearable pleasure. I hitched one of my legs over his hip and he pressed his mouth against mine again. I heard him groan as we moved as one and I knew I murmured his name more than once. This was new and even though it was still unfamiliar, it was something I could get used to. Paul pushed into me again and suddenly coherency left my mind.

I was pushed towards this new level of bliss that nothing else matters but Paul and me.

I felt him collapse on top of me, his breath in the crook of my neck. Both of us were spent and covered in sweat but I couldn't care less. Paul slid out of me and lay down next to me. I was breathing loudly and I shifted on my side, carefully looking at Paul, whose chest was heaving up and down as well. I smiled.

"So."

"That was something." Paul brought out and I smiled even brighter.

"Yeah." I responded and he looked at me, his hand moving through my hair and pushed myself closer to him. His heat was so comfortable now.

"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you too much did I?" I shook my head.

"I'm perfectly fine Paul. Yeah, it hurt in the beginning. But it was worth it." He smiled at me and kissed my lips gently. I couldn't help but smile in the kiss. I was so darn happy right now but I was also exhausted and as fatigue swept over me, I got pulled under by a thick blanket called sleep.

I felt Paul's lip on my forehead as he murmured to me to go to sleep.

*^*^

"Julie? Baby?" My eyes fluttered open and I was faced with the brightness of my lamp and Paul's face hovering above me. I blinked a few times and saw Paul move closer to me.

"Hmm?" I croaked and Paul laughed softly.

"Wake up; otherwise we'll be late for the bonfire. And I'm guessing you want to take a shower before you go up there." I frowned when suddenly the previous events came upon me and I smiled at him, blushing slightly. "Don't worry, you smell great, but the others will know immediately. My smell is all over you." I blushed even more now.

"Come on, it's eight already." Paul urged. I nodded, sluggish in fatigue, as I suddenly realized I wasn't wearing anything. I clutched the sheets to my chest. Paul laughed.

"It's not like I haven't seen it." He told me and I glared at him. "That's not the point Paul." I told him and he shrugged.

"Suit yourself, but hurry up now." He said and he got up. "I'll be downstairs."

"Yeah, yeah." I got out of bed and moved to my bathroom when I felt my head spin. I stopped walking and leant against the door, closing my eyes, hoping the spinning would stop. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again. The dizziness was gone and I gingerly took a step again. No spinning, I took a deep breath.

Maybe I should eat something before we go.

I was done showering in a record time and I slipped on something comfortable. I wore my black Uggs and my grey jeans with a dark sweatshirt. I wasn't dressing up for a small gathering like this. I was comfortable with this. I looked in the mirror and realized I looked pale and frowned. Strange, maybe it was the exhaustion. I presumed it was. I quickly applied some make up and put my hear in a braid.

"You done, Jules?" Paul asked as he appeared in the doorway. I nodded. "Alright then." He said as he looked down at me. He frowned, rubbing my cheeks with his hand.

"You look pale, you sure you're okay?" I nodded, waving my hand, trying to brush it off.

"I'm fine, just tired." I told him kissing him on the jaw.

"Maybe we shouldn't have…" He trailed off and I raised my finger to his lips, shushing him for whatever was coming next.

"No, don't. It was…"I trailed off, a small blush covering my cheeks. "It was nice." Paul's arrogance came back the minute he saw me blush.

"Just nice? I thought I was rather mind blowing." And I hit him on the chest and he laughed. He pecked me on the forehead. "Kidding Jules, but for what it's worth, you were mind blowing."

"Shut up." I was flushing crimson now.

**_A/N: Review? Please! *hides* Or is that too much to ask for?_**


	29. I Could Run For The Life Of Me

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**_

**_A/N: Thank you so so much for all the reviews and alerts. It's amazing and incredible to see. This story exists for a year now. And I can't believe how far this story has gone. I'm really happy with it not to mention that all of the readers are simply brilliant! I'm sorry for the lack of updates, but I had some sort of block with this story, but I'm back at track so I hope you are still with me after all this time :) So in this chapter Julie and Paul are finally making progress. Progress in what, that you'll have to find out for yourself by reading the chapter :) Enjoy :_**

_I Could Run For The Life Of Me_

A shrill sound startled me. I opened my eyes and the warm arm around me moved. I groaned. Great, just what I needed. Someone calling while I finally got some sleep. I turned around to face Paul and as he muttered a few profanities he picked up his phone. I could barely make out his face in the dark.

"_What?_" Don't you just love how he answers his phone? Notice the sarcasm. I scooted closer to him and tried to ignore the fact I was sweating and probably didn't look as attractive as I wanted to be.

The bonfire was nice. We had fun and it was nice to see everyone again. Especially Summer and Kim. I also met Bella Swan. She was... different. She mostly kept to herself and it was obvious Jacob was smitten, I just felt bad for the fact that Bella kept Jacob on some sort of leash while she had a vampire boyfriend at home, waiting for her. Why she refused to see this, I didn't know. But I saw it, and so did the others.

Paul stayed the night with me, my parents were still out of town and I liked having Paul around, especially at night. But with this phone call, I wasn't so sure whether it was going to last.

"Right now? Fine, hold your horses. I'm coming." I grimaced. I was right, Paul was leaving now. I quickly glanced at the clock. 3:24. In the morning. Paul hung up and turned to me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. His breath tickled my skin.

"Who was that?" I asked him.

"That was Sam. He needs me to patrol." I groaned.

"It's three in the morning." I pointed out.

"Yeah I know that. But I don't really have a choice here." I breathed out a curse and tried to ignore Paul's chuckle. If he thought this was funny than he was wrong.

"Yeah, really hilarious Paul." I said through gritted teeth.

"Oye, why you getting mad at me? It's not like I want to go." Paul reminded me and I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he was right.

"I know. I'm sorry." I said and Paul kissed my shoulder. Apparently I was forgiven. "Shouldn't you be getting up right now?" Paul shrugged.

"Five more minutes and then I'll get up." I nodded. I didn't really have a problem with that. The lack of his presence was something I did have a problem with but I knew that this was one of the down sides of dating a werewolf. There would be a lot of cold and empty nights without him next to me.

"Something is bothering you." Paul murmured and his deep voice made me shiver.

"No." I responded automatically.

"Yes." He replied. "You're all tense, what's bothering you?" I shrugged.

"I'm not really fond of you leaving, that's all. Nothing to worry about." I added quickly. Paul sighed though and I hated when he did that. It mostly meant that he was going to tell me not to worry or something like that.

"That's not it." I frowned. "Or at least, not all of it." Stupid observing boyfriend.

"Nope, that's it." I said instead.

"Liar."

"Are we really going to argue about this?" I asked, a little angry.

"Do you want us to?" Paul said back and the hidden message beneath that question annoyed me.

"No!" I exclaimed. "Of course not, why would I want that?"

"Because apparently the only time I can get something out of you is when we're arguing." Paul pointed out. His annoyance obvious.

"That's the point of an argument." I pointed out. "Saying things you don't normally say."

"Bullshit, but go ahead. Something you like to share?" His sarcasm itching beneath my skin.

"Ugh, whatever Paul. Go!" I said exasperatedly and turned around burying my face in my pillow. I knew that this was another childish moment. I also knew that this was all because of me, I couldn't give Paul any credit because the fact I was so high strung and easily mad was because I was breaking the promise both of us made. Communicating with each other. I asked him to communicate now I simply refused to do the same thing with him. Hypocrite much?

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with you and I'm tired of trying to help you because no matter what it seems like you're only pushing yourself away from me." Paul's hurt sliced through me like a knife, coated with guilt. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was angry, yes. But more at me, because I was stupid. I couldn't make myself react though. The warm hand on my shoulder left me paralyzed and I kept my mouth shut all the way.

"Call me when you've made up your mind." Paul said coldly and pushed himself off the bed. His footsteps going soundlessly down the stairs. I heard him slam the door and still I kept my face buried in my pillow. Because I knew that if I didn't stay like this I would end up crying. And that was something I had done enough.

I knew it wasn't fair what I was doing to Paul, hell it wasn't even fair to me anymore. From the beginning I should've behaved like an adult, I knew that in my eyes this was being responsible, selfless even, because I wanted to solve this on my own, keep everyone else out of it. While I should've told the person I trusted the most. Asked for help because from the beginning this wasn't being responsible, this was being stupid, careless, not to mention stubborn.

I took a deep breath and turned on my back. Paul's spot was already turning cold and that's how I felt. Because I knew it was time for me to stand up and deal with it. This selfish bubble of mine was about to burst and all of the collateral damage was my fault. I might as well start and try to make amends.

I just wish I knew how to break it to him gently. After all, Paul's temper scared me the most. And this time it was going to punch me in the face first. But I wasn't allowed to whine about it, this was my fault. The only thing I was allowed to do right now, was to accept it.

And telling Paul was the first step.

**Paul's POV**

My skin was already burning with the anticipation of the phase. It was something that thrilled me now but scared me at first. But with the lingering effects of the words I said to Julie it only angered me right now. It was all fun and bliss in the beginning. During the bonfire there were no problems, no words that were able to set me off. Except maybe Jacob and his _Bella,_ but besides that, there was nothing.

"_I _can_ hear you think, you know." _Jacob barked and I felt aggravation course through me. Of course I knew he could hear me. I was aware of that, part of me wanted him to hear it.

"_I know that."_ I growled back and I urged my paws to quicken their pace. Of course I had to be stuck with Jacob for patrol tonight.

But continuing on, besides Bella and Jacob I felt great, amazing. Partly because Julie had decided to take the plunge towards intimacy in physical terms but also because I felt like everything was just the way it was supposed to be.

But now, I wasn't so sure anymore.

"_Trouble in paradise Paul?"_ Jacob's voice reverberated in my mind and another surge of irritation flamed in me.

_"Shut up Jake!" _I warned. _"Stay out of it."_

"_And give away the shot of everlasting blackmail?"_ Jacob scoffed. "_No way."_

Julie had changed. From the girl I imprinted on, the sweet, gentle, stubborn and vivacious girl to the quiet, tired and exasperated person I started to get annoyed with. I was easily annoyed, yes I admit it. But with Julie, I had meaningless limits. I could go the stars if she asked me. She changed me, in a good way.

But with her distancing herself from everyone, I felt like there was more than just 'something' bothering her. And no matter how many times I tried to push her she didn't crack, she didn't let anything slip, everything was kept hidden from me very carefully and I wondered if she knew how much this hurt me.

I urged my four paws to quicken my pace again. Yes this was a perfect outlet, but it was only temporally, because the thrill will eventually die out and the bottled up anger would consume and dominate every single fibre of my being. I was weak towards my anger, I succumbed to that easily. I knew it and everybody else was as aware of it. The fact that they used it against me was all in good fun, until I cracked and was out of control. That happened several times in the past, but now I was getting better at controlling that rage.

"_You should confront her." _And just like that I forgot that Jacob was still in my head. Not!

"_Get _out_ of my freaking head Jake! Jesus Christ, you're giving me a fucking migraine." _I growled out and I could hear Jacob's laughter echo in my head.

"_No can do." _Jacob sang and in my aggression I growled at a rabbit that crossed my path.

"_Do you mind shutting up then?"_ I suggested. I ignored Jake's reaction and phased back. I knew I was going to get in trouble for bailing during patrol but tonight I could care less. I shrugged on my sweatpants that were slightly damp because of the slight drizzle of rain but it would be dry in a matter of time.

I knew these woods by heart. Every path was familiar and I knew the shortest shortcuts to get wherever I wanted to be. Right now I desired my warm bed. I was exhausted and even though there was a part of me desiring to see Julie, I knew it was better to give her some space. Lucky me then, because no one was home; mum, dad and Sara were with my Grandmother so I had the house to myself. As the trees thinned out and I could see the first peak of my rooftop I could hear something though. It was somehow familiar, but I couldn't completely put my finger on it. I lightly jogged to the house when I saw someone sitting on the porch. My porch.

Julie.

"Julie." I said out loud and Julie looked up. She looked visibly stressed out and her pale face stood out in the dark. I jogged closer to her and grabbed her forearms. Was she out of her fucking mind? Who told her to come to me at this hour of the night, or should I say morning?

"What the hell are you doing?" I gritted out. Several scenarios of Julie getting her played out in my mind. I tried to push them away. She was here, safe and sound. Try to focus on that. Then, I realized I was sort of angry at her and I quickly let her go. Taking a few steps backwards to create some distance between the two of us.

"It's because I'm terrified." She admitted and I saw her avoid my eyes by focusing on the trees behind me. I frowned. Because she was terrified? Of what, the vampires? I thought I told her not to worry about that?

"Of what? Of the vampires? You don't have to worry about that. I told you that the pack had it under control." She was shaking her head. I then saw the lack of clothing. I grabbed her arm and ignored the protest. "Let's get you inside before you turn in to a popsicle." She let out a small laugh that didn't sound well in my ears. I opened the front door by retrieving the key out of the potted plant. As I ushered her inside the house and closed the door I saw that Julie looked like she was going to be sick.

"Jules?" She didn't react and I grabbed her arm and steered her to the couch, seating her there before she fell over.

"Tell me, what's terrifying you?" She bit her lip.

"You're going to be so angry." She whispered and I frowned again. I crouched in front of her putting my hands on her knees, rubbing it softly, hoping it would urge her to continue with her story.

"Tell me."

She took a deep breath and that is when the tears started. "I know that you contacted Lily." Her words were still coherent but with the amount of noise she was making and the lack of air she seemed to be getting in worried me. But that was only one of the many things. The fact she knew made me shiver with shame, but not only that. Guilt was apparent as well. The fact I went behind her back gave her the full right to be angry with me.

"Jules." I began but she cut me off.

"Dante knows as well." She said and hearing her say that bastard's name shook me with anger. But not just that. It was what she said next that scared me. Because it was the last thing I wanted to achieve with it.

"He told me."

Red, that's all I saw.

**_A/N: Two POV's. Hmmm, ah well, next is back in Julie's POV. Hope you liked it, please review :) It stimulates updates. Oh yeah, before I forget. Julie will not get pregnant. :) She's just a teenager :P Lol!_**


	30. I Won't Soothe Your Pain, I Won't Ease

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. And you all know that.**_

**_A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and the alerts :) Here is the next chapter. I'm not sure how I feel about this, especially the end. I just rapidly cut that off. Don't know why. Ah well, here it is and remember! I love alerts, but I love reviews even more!_**

_I Won't Soothe Your Pain, I Won't Ease Your Strain_

Knowing that I had no other choice but to tell him, I went to Paul's house with a heavy heart. I hated this whole situation, hated it with every cell inside of me, I was aching to hide behind a rock. Remain oblivious to the fact I wasn't going to make it without help. Help from Paul.

It was obvious I needed it desperately.

I just wish I wasn't so afraid of his reaction. But I was. So damn afraid that I was quivering with hesitation. My mind was spinning and I wasn't paying attention to anything at all. Stumbling all the way from the top of the stairs, I made my way outside. Paul didn't live that far away from me. Ten minutes walk, so I decided to walk there. Maybe I could postpone telling him. But that was one side of me. The irrational side of me, whereas I knew this had lasted long enough.

Too long actually.

I arrived far too early, and I knew I would wait for a long time in the dark before Paul would be back. I wish I had thought of a coat or something warm. I closed my eyes and sat down on the steps putting my head in my hands.

I was going to let Paul be angry at me. I wasn't going to protect him from anything. He's not the one needing the protection, I was. He knew that all too well, and so did I. I brushed away my hair and looked at the sky. Dark clouds made it hard to see the stars and somewhere far away I could hear wolves howl. I smiled involuntarily. I knew it was someone I knew, but it wasn't like I could tell by the howl who it was.

Somewhere inside of me I was wishing it was Paul.

I wringed my hands together, the anxiety finally catching up with me. I closed my eyes and pulled my knees to my chest. "I can do this." I whispered to myself. It was true, I could do this. Just open my mouth and tell him. No emotions attached. Just tell him. He'll be able to fix it.

"Julie!" I looked up and saw to my surprise that Paul was back already. I swallowed the thick lump and I stared at him as he made his way to me. His hot hands grabbed my forearms pulling me visibly closer to him. In this freezing cold I wasn't protesting. Paul on the other side was. But on a different subject.

"What the hell are you doing?" He sounded angry and suddenly I realized I was backtracking. I wasn't going go through with this. Because I couldn't do it. The shame I felt was so dominant and burning its way through my body. I hadn't even realized that Paul had let me go and stepped away. I was even immune to the hurt that was coming but I didn't feel it.

How was I going to tell him what is wrong with me? What's been going on for weeks? That I'm too scared to be alone, because a freak ass psycho has his dirty mind set on me. That I'm scared every single time Paul leaves my sight. That I'm just so fucking scared that I can't breathe? How the hell was I going to tell him that Dante was causing all of this? That he is the reason that Paul and I were fighting nonstop. Dante was the reason that I didn't leave Paul out of my sight, forced him to spend his nights with me. That I persuaded him to bail his patrols just because his fucking imprint is too scared to sleep alone.

How long was it going to take for me to start being responsible and share my problems instead of keeping it inside until I burst.

I took a deep breath. My voice would crack before I speak. I knew it.

"It's because I'm terrified." I confessed. I focused my eyes on the trees behind Paul. But his eyes were solely focused on me. I could see the frown colour his face.

"Of what? Of the vampires? You don't have to worry about that. I told you that the pack had it under control." I shook my head. He was drawing the wrong conclusion.

Suddenly Paul grabbed my hand. "Let's get you inside before you turn into a Popsicle." I wanted to protest, but I couldn't. So I settled for a small laugh that sounded wrong in so many ways.

I watched Paul drag me to the front door and retrieve the spare key out of the potted plant that stood next to the _Welcome_ mat. He pushed in to the dark living room and suddenly everything fell into place. This was it. I was going to tell him. This should be the moment where all the weight of the world would be lifted off my shoulders. So why did it feel like it was going to kill me before I could even open my mouth?

"Jules?" I barely heard his voice. I was more focused on the fact that I was going to fall over any second. Paul's hot hand grabbed my arm and he steered me to the couch. I plopped down. My jelly knees trembling even now it was released from the weight.

"Tell me, what's terrifying you?" I bit my lip taking deep breath at the same time.

"You're going to be so angry." I whispered. I looked at the ceiling as Paul crouched down in front of me. Putting his hands on my knees. His large thumbs circling a pattern that would've calmed me down.

"Tell me."

I took a deep breath but the tears that I've kept to keep inside were now spilling over. "I know that you contacted Lily." I told him. Suddenly everything spun out of control. I was sobbing now. Loudly, out of control. I couldn't breathe but I wanted to say so much that I cut off any sense of logic and concentrated on the one thing I was here for. Telling Paul.

"Jules." Paul began but I cut him off. I couldn't have him interrupt me now I was starting.

"Dante knows as well." I said, I looked at him and I saw him shake. "He told me."

He pushed himself away from me. With teary eyes I observed him pace the room. One part of me was hoping that Paul would lose control and he would leave so I would have more time to sort this out but the other part, the more rational part, knew that I had taken more time that I should've. This was my last chance to make things right.

I've hit rock bottom. Now the only way is up.

"You're telling me. He came to you and did nothing?" I swallowed as Paul's low voice, filled with anger and hate, reached to me. I got up and made my way to him. Standing right in front of him I saw the slight fear in his eyes. And I realized that even though I didn't always believe it, he did truly love me. And I had hurt him a lot.

"H-he..." I trailed off. I took a deep breath. "I-I went to the store a few weeks ago. A-and I was putting the groceries in the car w-when he suddenly appeared a-and p-pushed m-me against t-the c-car." I was sobbing. My chest was heaving with the lack of air but I pushed myself to continue. "I t-told him to s-stop." I put my hand on my forehead rubbing away the headache.

"What did he exactly do Jules?" My knees were trembling and Paul grabbed me by the shoulder steering me to a chair now. His warm hands on the small of my back were shaking with the effort of him keeping it together; I appreciated the fact that he defied gravity just for me.

"N-no." I shook my head and I folded my hands in my lap now. We were in the kitchen, and since there were so many windows here I felt exposed. I felt like everyone could see me fall apart. Everyone was able to see how I freaking ruined everything!

"Julie." Paul repeated my name again and grabbed my shoulders forcing me to look in his eyes. "What did he do?"

"He k-kissed me." I confessed. I closed my eyes. "A-and h-he forced himself on me." I pulled away from Paul, waiting for his anger.

But Paul had stopped shaking. In fact, he wasn't moving at all. His eyes were most certainly focused on me and suddenly he dropped his hand from my shoulders. Moving away as he suddenly grabbed a lamp and smashed it into a wall. I gasped and put a hand on my mouth, watching him with wide eyes as he practically tore apart his living room.

And I did nothing.

Seconds ticked by and I was wondering whether people could hear the noise he was making. But no one did. And Paul slowly stopped. He turned to me again. The anger in his eyes was inevitable. I caused this; I'll deal with the blow.

"And you kept this from me?" I nodded slowly, hoping it would ease him a bit more. Yet it did nothing but fuel his anger.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry." I apologized. "I couldn't tell you because he'd know immediately. I was too scared to do anything. I thought this was the right thing to do."

"To keep it from me? Are you fucking stupid?" He yelled. The decibel of his voice was getting louder but I just sat there and took it. "Do you have any idea how many scenarios I've thought about, hoping that one of them would explain your fucking behaviour."

"I'm s-sorry."

"How could you be sorry? Do you have any idea how big of a masochist you are? And frankly it's annoying the shit out of me. You didn't have to keep this from me because if I knew I would've fixed it for you." I shook my head.

"What would you have done?" I ignored the glare. "You would've kicked his ass. And I don't want ANYONE to know what kind of bastard he is. I thought if I kept this from you that it would blow over eventually and I wouldn't have to worry about YOU getting sued for assault."

"SO! I would've kicked his ass yes! If it was up to me I would've killed him and I don't give a flying fuck about it. I _do_ care about you and I would've fixed this in a way that would've suited you best. This just proves how little you know me."

"REALLY!" I was shouting now. The tears were flowing without a stop and I got on my feet, my fists clenched by my side. "I DO KNOW YOU! THAT IS WHY I DID THIS."

"So it was all about protecting me huh?" Paul scoffed. "I AM NOT THE ONE THAT NEEDS PROTECTION."

"YES YOU DO!" I yelled back. "YOU NEED PROTECTION FROM YOURSELF AND THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I KEPT IT TO MYSELF!" I sobbed and put my face in my hands. This was going way out of hand. The conversation was now reaching a point where the climax would be disastrous.

Paul suddenly grabbed me by my wrist. "You wanted to communicate. You're the one that wanted me to be honest. And yet you're the one breaking that fucking promise." I bit my trembling lip. "Do you have any idea how much you've hurt me." And that was when I finally broke down. I pushed myself away from him and walked with trembling knees to the front door.

Paul was in front of me though. Stopping me effectively.

"Let me go." I pushed against his torso and he let himself being pushed around. But he put his arm around me, pinning me to his body and I slowly lowered myself to the ground. Paul went down with me. I pressed my forehead against his chest feeling this emotion overload draining. I had fallen apart and you could see the pieces of us everywhere.

His hand was on the back of my head, stroking the length of my hair soothingly. My hands were on his chest, and I closed my eyes. I wanted to breathe, but every single time I did that there was this pressure that hurt me so bad because I had a bad conscience. I was able to breathe now but I was hoping it would ease the guilt and fright, but that didn't change.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I know you're mad, you have every right to hate me. I won't hold it against you." I clenched my hands again. The flow of tears had dried out. I had no tears left to shed. "Please don't leave me." I whispered slowly. The biggest fear I had.

Yes he was allowed to leave me. Yes he was allowed to bail because I did something that was inexcusable. But he couldn't leave me now. He just couldn't, because I won't be able to forgive myself if he did. And for my sake he had to stay. He just had to. I would do anything to keep him here. Anything.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jules." Paul murmured in my hair. "I'm keeping my end of the promise."

"I know." I breathed. The fatigue was rapidly catching up with me. My full weight was now kept up by Paul. "But still. Don't leave."

"Julie. I'm not going to leave." He said firmly. His voice wasn't affectionate. But he was merely sharing the fact he was staying. "But I'm still angry at you. So I'm fixing this my way and you can't do a thing." I nodded. I figured that much.

"You're parents are going to kill you." I was referring to the messed up living room. Paul let out a small laugh and he hauled me back up on my feet.

"Don't worry about that. I'll think of something." He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs to his room. Before I knew it I was in his bed and he was next to me. As I pushed myself closer to him and he wrapped his arm around my waist, he kissed my bare shoulder.

"I'm so sorry about this."

"Stop apologizing Julie." Paul shushed me and I smiled at him, looking at his face made me realize that I was really lucky to have him as boyfriend. I pushed myself up on my forearms and kissed him.

The feel of his lips on mine made things go away. I was able not to think of the things I said today, the things I've done wrong. I was able to let myself go because Paul was my release and no matter what I did he accepted me. His hot, wet lips were pulling away from mine and he flipped me over. His hot body covered mine and I was glad he wasn't wearing his shirt. The feel of his bare skin on my hands were enough and I was getting undone by the slight touch of his teasing lips on my skin.

I raised my arms immediately as he lifted my shirt over my head. His lips were going down my neck, leaving a trail of burning skin in its wake. His hands were teasing my side moving up to my breasts. The tips of his fingers stroking my sides before finally cupping my breasts in his hands. His thumb brushed over my nipples, and a rush of lust waved over me, making my temperature rise. Paul's mouth was reattached to mine again and I ran my hands through his hair. Pulling, while one hand went down his chest, scratching.

The sounds that escaped my mouth and his were loud and I knew that I was embarrassing myself with the loud breathing but I couldn't help it. Every touch was like fire and I was on fire with the way Paul's hands moved around my body. I lifted my hips and I could feel his arousal press against my inner thigh. It wasn't enough though. I wanted to feel him entirely.

I let myself fall back against the bed when I felt dizzy. I took a deep breath and slowly I couldn't feel Paul's lips anymore. Maybe I was too tired for this. But I couldn't leave him like this.

"Jules, you there." I heard his voice and murmured a reply. Paul turned around and I laid my head on his chest. "We'll finish this another time." I nodded.

"Sure." I breathed out and I let Paul's hands touch my sides as I slowly let the fatigue take me under.

**_A/N: Sorry about the ending. Crap ending. Crappy day. Ugh! Sorry!_**


	31. I Cannot Stop My Rebel Hands

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! Blah blah blah!**_

**_A/N: I honestly feel silly practically begging for reviews, because I feel reviews should be given when the chapter is really good. I assume, that the last one didn't really do the trick. Although I did get a lot of alerts, reviews and not just alerts motivate an author to write quicker. It's like their brand of heroine. And I'm sort of wondering why it's so hard for people to review. I always review a story I read and I suggest others should to because there is always something positive to say. So say it in a review. But maybe this is a subtle way of saying that people are getting bored with this story. But I got a solution for that too. This story will be wrapped up pretty soon. I'm guessing a handful of chapters after this and after that the sequel will be posted. _**

**_I just hope whether it's worth it..._**

**_P.S This is not meant for the people who review every single time! All of you know who you are :) So you can ignore this :) *hug*_**

_I Cannot Stop My Rebel Hands_

"Remember what I told you." He let out an exasperated breath. He had to know I was serious, he had to know that whatever he was going to do that it had consequences. He might not care, but I did. That should be enough.

"Julie. I'm not an idiot." He gritted out. "Besides, can we not talk about this now." He referred to the empty school hall. "We just finished our last exam, can we go out and celebrate?" I rolled my eyes.

"Of course." I said and I linked my arms through his kissing his shoulder. "Thank you." I told him. He brought his warm lips to my head and I smiled. Now this is how it is supposed to be all the time. Simple and just utterly perfect.

"Anytime babe." I was glad Paul had taken it seriously. Ever since I had told Paul what had happened between Dante and I, I was afraid there was going to be an explosion of violence but surprisingly enough Paul kept a low profile. He of course did make sure I wasn't alone anymore.

The fact that the whole pack knew afterwards was something I did regret. Not to mention I had Summer and Kim fussing over me continuously that I suddenly wondered why I didn't tell them before. It shows how little credit I gave them.

Now everything was finally working out and I felt great. I had finished my exams, my parents and I were getting along fine. Paul and I were perfect again and in less than two months I would be going to Academy of Art in Seattle. It wasn't that far away, but far enough that I couldn't see him every single day since Paul was planning to stick around for another year before starting college.

The latter was something I hated. In fact, it was something that churned in my stomach at times. Because I didn't want to leave Paul, hell if I thought about it I got tears in my eyes. I didn't want to leave him because I couldn't bear going without him for days, let alone months.

But he assured me we would make it work. We had to make it work because both of us still had a future. Just because we were linked to each other in a more intimate way than any other eighteen-year-old meant that we should forget about ordinary things like school. Besides, I was planning to go there ever since I knew it existed, and that was way before Paul.

"Summer!" I exclaimed as the green-eyed brunette appeared in front of us. She smiled at me and gave me a hug.

"How did your exam go." I shrugged at her inquiry.

"Well enough, what about yours." She grinned. "I'm guessing it went well!"

"Absolutely!"

"Uhh! Right here, remember me?" Paul piped up. I rolled my eyes and slapped his shoulder lightly.

"Don't be a baby." I chastised

"Hi Paul!" Summer said sweetly, blinking at him making Paul frown. Summer's smile disappeared and she rolled her eyes mumbling a curse.

"Where is Seth?" I asked before Paul could even react.

"Right here!" Seth's voice rang out and I looked up finding him next to me. He ruffled my hair before bending down and kissing Summer. "Aren't you glad that the exams are over?" He asked and I nodded.

"Oh please." Summer exclaimed. "We're the ones who did all the hard work." Paul laughed at Seth's expression and all of us walked out of the school.

"Why don't we go and get something to eat." Seth proposed. "I'm hungry."

"Aren't you always?" Summer asked and Seth smacked her on her back slightly as she turned around and gave him a glare.

The parking lot was filled with cars and there were enough people outside, hanging around and catching up with their friends when suddenly our eyes fell on Dante and his friends. He hadn't confronted me ever since Kari had intercepted but I knew that he was painfully aware of my presence because I could see him look at me.

"Jules, wait here." Paul suddenly said and he gave me his car keys. I blinked at him as he moved in the direction of Dante. Everything blacked out. I could hear the hard thumps of my heart in my ear, I could feel the colour leave my face, leaving me all pale. There were switches getting turned on in my head and I realized that Paul was going to confront Dante, right here. Right now.

"Paul no!" I shouted. I was too late though. I could see them exchange some words as Dante separated himself from his friends and moved to Paul's direction. Paul pushed Dante roughly and that resulted in a punch from Dante. It hit him in his jaw and Paul reacted by grabbing him by his collar and punching him back. I gasped and in my peripheral vision I could see Seth run to the scene.

A crowd was forming around the two and I felt dread clutch my heart. It was like this silver clamp tightening with every breath I took. At some point it was getting painful. I ignored Summer's cry when I felt my feet take me to the scene. And suddenly all the noise rushed back to me and I was aware of the people screaming and shouting around me.

There were people who were shouting to fight, there were girls screaming and there were people who did nothing and stared. Like me. I took a shaky breath as I witnessed the hits that were exchanged. Seth tried to separate the two of them but at some point even he stopped trying. I felt Seth's warm hand on my shoulder.

"S-Seth." I spluttered. "Do something."

"No." Seth's voice was cold. "I'm not going to do a thing."

"He'll kill him." I said and that was the cold truth. Because I knew Paul wasn't using all his strength but he was close. Dante was still replying but it didn't mean that he was winning. In fact, he wasn't winning at all. Dante was just keeping up this image of him being tough but next to Paul, he wasn't tough at all.

"PAUL!" I shouted and I pulled away from Seth. I grabbed Paul's hand, pulling at it. "Leave him." I pleaded. "Please." Paul ignored me though.

"You stay the hell away from her." Paul whispered quietly to Dante. "You stay away from her or I will kill you." He pushed Dante hard to the ground and wiped away the blood from his nose. He looked at me and I suddenly saw what he was like before I met him.

Volatile.

I glared at him and moved out of his way when he tried to reach out to me.

This was beyond crazy now. Paul crossed a fucking limit and practically killing Dante in front of everyone like this was too much. I had asked him to treat this whole situation carefully but instead Paul gave caution to the wind and just did whatever he wanted to. Just because an asshole couldn't keep his hands to himself.

"Julie!" I ignored his cry and moved to Paul's car. Pulling out his keys out of my pocket. I must've pocketed it without realizing. I opened the door and got in as Paul got in the car as well. He settled in the passenger seat when suddenly Seth and Summer got in the car as well. They were patiently quiet.

I started the ignition and manoeuvred out of the parking lot in record time. The things I was feeling were bordering on insanity. But at least physique-wise I wasn't catching up.

"Julie." Paul said quietly and I ignored him again yet chose to reply to something else.

"There are napkins in my bag. You can use them in case some blood spills on your seat." I told him and he shrugged.

"I'm not bleeding anymore." Right, the superfast healing thing. Right!

"You shouldn't have." Summer began. Her voice was shaking but she was coherent. "You shouldn't have." She said again and I was glad that she was going to voice the feelings I was feeling. "But I'm glad you did it." I looked at Summer through the mirror incredulously. Was she serious?

"Thanks Summer." Paul grinned and I could see he wasn't feeling sorry at all.

"If you even_ think_ of me approving the little stunt you just pulled then you're seriously mistaken Paul." I gritted out. "I can kill you right now."

"Julie, I told you before. I was going to deal with it my way." He said and I realized that there was no regret in his voice and he was actually proud of his stupid move.

"Oh, of course." I began sarcastically. "Because violence is the answer to everything."

"You don't get it do you?" Paul shouted. "This isn't just about you!"

"YES IT IS!" I shouted and I slammed on the brakes. "This is about me. You can't handle the fact that Dante put his hands on _me!_ Your girlfriend. And I get that, but practically killing him in front of everyone is _not_ the answer. So do me a favour. Don't try to smooth talk this."

"Julie." Seth began. "This may be about you but it involves other people as well and as much as I hate the way Paul dealt with it, doesn't give you the right to lecture people on how they have to solve problems. In fact, it's best if you shut up about it!" I turned in my seat looking at Seth.

"You're kidding, right?" I screamed. "Paul is going to get into some serious trouble with this and the only thing you can say is how selfish I am?"

They were my friends. Supposed to be my friends actually and instead of understanding me they were doing the exact opposite. I gave them all a final glare. "I can't believe you." And moved out of the car, slamming the door hard.

"Hey! Don't slam the door." I heard Paul yell but I didn't stop and made my way home, on foot.

"Julie, wait up!" Paul caught up with me and turned me around, grabbing me by my wrist. I shrieked in annoyance hitting him in the chest.

"You stupid selfish son-of-a-bitch!" I screamed. "It always has to be the way you want it to be! Right? Why can't you just fucking grow up and deal with a situation as an adult?" I asked. "You're almost nineteen!"

"And I'm sure you know all about it, don't you Jules?" Paul said sarcastically and he looked down at me. His arms crossed over his chest as she pinned with a dangerous glare.

"That's not the point!" I reminded him.

"Oh, right!" He began. "Tell me, what is it then?"

"You can't go and beat up people when you feel like it. Especially not because you can."

"You want to know why I hit him? Why I wanted to fix this my way?" Paul asked me and I scoffed. "Because I felt guilty, alright?"

I blinked. He felt guilty. For what?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Because if I stayed out that whole Lily and Dante thing this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't have forced himself on you because he didn't have a reason to. So yeah, I wanted to make him feel how I felt when someone messed with the person I love and yeah it had to be with violence."

"That's it?" I asked and he didn't indicated if it was a yes. "Well that's just fucking fantastic, right? Seriously Paul, there are other ways."

"What other ways?"

"Oh I don't know, talking perhaps?" The sarcasm was becoming a dear friend and I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I didn't know how I could possibly make Paul understand how I felt about this.

"As if that would have made a difference." Paul sighed and wiped his hand over his face. "Look Julie. I started it and I finished it. The end! Now why don't we go back home." He suggested calmly.

"No!" I said forcefully. "We are not going home. _I_ am not going home with you."

"Julie, stop being such a pain in the ass." Paul gritted out and he pulled at his hair in anger. "Just forget it. It's done with. Now let's move on."

"That's easy for you to say!" I yelled. "It always has to be about you." Suddenly Paul grabbed me by my shoulders pulling me close to him. I could feel his breath on my face as his finger accidently tightened.

"It has _always_ been you. Don't you dare say otherwise." I swallowed thickly and let out a shaky breath.

"You can't take the credit for that Paul." I said. "You don't have to feel guilty for something you never could've controlled." I told him. He slowly let me go and I stepped away from him. "I will give you full credit for fucking this up though."

"You're a real piece of work, aren't you?"

"You should know." I retorted and Paul sighed when suddenly Seth appeared next to him and Paul tensed up. Both of them were practically statues but there was some kind of understanding between the two of them when Seth suddenly opened his mouth and included me in the secret.

"Vampire!" I froze. I met Paul's eyes and for a second all of our current problems dissolved because there was something else that demanded attention right now. I blinked rapidly and tried to ignore the vomit like fear that was crawling up my spine. I barely registered Paul moving closer to me until I felt the heat of his skin almost on mine. A shiver ran down my arms and I grasped Paul's sleeve.

"There is a vampire?" My voice went up and octave and Paul put his hand on the small of my back as he shushed me. His eyes moving to the dark of the trees. I closed my eyes and put my hand in front of my mouth. I hadn't realized I was shaking.

"Julie, go back to the car." Paul's voice was cold like ice. "Alright?"

I took a shaky breath. "Oh-kay."

"Go." He urged.


	32. With Eight Seconds Left In Overtime

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Yada, yada, yada.**_

**_A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and now I understand what I was doing wrong. Thank you for pointing that out to me. Here is the next chapter, the story is coming to an end soon and I'm not so sure how to feel about that. Since it's been more than a year since I ever published this story and look at it now. I'm so proud ;D Anyway, no more yapping, here it is :) Enjoy and let me know your thoughts._**

**_P.S I published a new Twilight story. Wretched, Look At Me. It's quite a heavy story with a heavy topic, but if you're into Bella/Edward (AH) you might like it :) Check it out, if you can._**

_**With Eight Seconds Left In Overtime**_

I was shaking. Like earthquake shaking, my hands, my knees, my lips, everything was shaking. I felt my clammy hands grasp each other desperately while I tried to get hold of my body and move to the car, as Paul had told me to do. But it wasn't as easy to do as I thought, as I wanted it to. Once paralyzed with fear it's like my whole system is failing. I couldn't breathe, and my eyes were moving to every corner of my sight to find something, _see_ something that didn't belong. I couldn't though, I didn't see. I just felt it by the way Paul tensed up behind me. His muscles tightening, I could see it by the way his jaw clamped shut.

"Julie, go!" Paul persisted and I found myself paralyzed to reply.

"She's not moving Paul." Seth warned and I felt Paul's hot hand on my arm, shaking me out of it.

"Jules, baby. Just go! Why aren't you moving?" It wasn't a question that needed to be responded to so I finally pushed my feet to move. Just take it easy and focus on the car. The car was my end destination.

Slowly I moved towards the car finding myself look at Summer who looked clueless. I could see her mouth words to me or Seth who was behind me, demanding an explanation when suddenly something red moved in my peripheral vision. I knew that it wasn't common to see something as red as that so it was only natural that my eyes snapped to the unknown colour, only to be confronted by the sight of one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen.

Her pale skin almost glittered, even though we lacked sunlight, her crimson red hair was waving in slight breeze. She was absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. The unusual part though, her eyes. They weren't the colour I expected. Hell they weren't even the colour that was humanly possible. And that was exactly the thing that made her terrifying at the same time. Her blood red eyes that stared at me with a certain hunger made me want to run.

I blinked and in a second she was gone, I swallowed the panic down when I realized she was in front of me. And then I suppose hell broke loose.

In a split second I felt someone push me down to the ground as I heard the sound of clothes ripping. My head slammed to the concrete with a dull thud that seemed to reverberate in my head, echoing only one thing, pain. The sharp knives that stabbed themselves in my head made it impossible for me to think clearly.

The thick strawberry pie like fog made the world look like it was dully pink. The cold concrete chilled me down to my bones and as I spluttered a faint sound I heard the screams of Summer as the car door slammed shut with so much force I knew Paul was going to kill her. But where was Paul? I couldn't see him.

The panic struck. Like a big truck it struck me and I blindly struggled when I felt something grab my foot. His sharp teeth bore right into my skin and I screamed when I felt it was dragging me over the ground. In my hazy vision I saw Summer run towards me and suddenly the teeth were gone. Nothing was dragging me anymore. In fact, I was on the damp grass facing the sky as I let the waves of pain crash over me.

"Julie! Oh God, Julie, are you alright?" Summer shook me and I grabbed her arm as she pulled me into a sitting position. I clutched her arm as she did the same and both of us stumbled to get on our feet. I didn't know it was going to hurt as much as I thought it would. But apparently whatever had grabbed me, and I had a faint idea who, broke through my skin and I felt the cool blood stick to my jeans. As I put my weight on the foot I cried out. The pain stabbed right through my whole leg, spreading as it went, and I let go of Summer dropping to my knees in the grass.

"That idiot!" Summer cursed. "I don't understand why he pulled you over like this." Summer was angry as she put her arm around my waist and helped me to get upright again. But her small stature wouldn't be able to hold me up and both of us went tumbling to the ground again, me taking her with me.

I heard Summer cuss again and I realized that either Seth or Paul had pulled me away from the road. My money was on Paul because I knew that in his blind panic he'd do something like that. I bit back a curse as I felt the cool ground underneath me again and I pushed myself off the ground on my knees again. I glanced at the car that seemed so far away when I heard the growls and howls. I inhaled a breath looking at the gray wolf who seemed to be running towards us.

Even now, I can't admit that this form of Paul terrified me somewhat, even though I knew I was safer with him than with anyone else. And this little situation didn't count. Because even Paul has cracks in his armour. Suddenly a sandy wolf, much smaller than Paul, joined him in his run and I saw them race towards me and Summer.

"Oh God." Summer gasped as she watched the two wolves. Their pace uncommonly fast, they were like blurs. My panic ebbed away slowly and I stood up too fast again sinking slowly through my knees when I felt the pain. The gray wolf stood in front of me, nudging me slowly with his nose. I bit my lip to keep myself from crying out and I slowly put my hands in front of me on the grass.

"What happened?" I demanded in a frenzy. "Who was that? Is she gone?" Summer, who was on her feet, glanced around her in a frenzy.

"That was Victoria, right?" The sandy wolf made an agreeing kind of sound and Summer gulped visibly.

So that was Victoria. The one vampire the pack couldn't get hold of. I blinked away the tears that appeared in the panic that slammed back into me again. I looked at the gray wolf as he ran to the car and disappeared behind it. A fair few seconds later he appeared back as Paul, only clothed in cut off pants.

I couldn't explain how good it felt to see him back in his human form. But the panic on his handsome face was enough to make my heart sink through my stomach. "We have to get you two out of here." I was nodding before he even finished his sentence.

He bend his knees and looked at me with concern. His hot hands moving over my body, as if checking if I was still intact. He pulled me to my feet in a few seconds, putting weight to my feet. I closed my eyes and cried out in pain. Paul's hands grabbed my waist in an instant and he hauled me up, his one arm holding my weight. I grasped his shoulder with my other arm as he moved to Summer pulling her with us.

"Seth, go to Sam! Tell him we're coming!" Paul ordered as he practically ran towards the car. As I turned to look behind us I saw Seth's sandy form disappear in the woods. The thick trees hiding any sign of him.

The second we reached the car he pushed Summer to backseat, silently ordering her to get in as quickly as she could and he put me in the front seat as gently as he could. That obviously wasn't gentle enough because I could feel my foot hit the door first. I put my fist in my mouth to refrain myself from crying out. I could hear him curse.

"Shit, shit, shit." He murmured as he looked at me quickly before he slammed the door and moved to the driver's seat. We were off so soon that I barely realized what was going on.

"Julie? Julie!" I shook out of my temporary paralysation and saw Summer and Paul look at me. "You're leg." Summer said as if talking to a little kid. "How's your leg, Jules." I swallowed thickly and I quickly bended down and pulled at the dirty, wet denim. Pulling it away to reveal the red blood.

"It's bleeding." Summer said. While driving Paul bended over me with his one arm and pulled at the seat so it would slide backwards. "Thanks." Summer said and she picked my hands away with her cold ones and ordered me to bring my leg towards her.

With much trouble and a lot of swearing later I had managed to put my foot in Summer's lap. She pulled off my shoe and her skilful hands brushed over the red skin. I could see the faint imprint of the teeth and the blood rushing. It was less than before but it didn't make it less painful. I hissed as Summer pressed on the wound.

"We need to wrap this up quickly." Summer said and she looked at Paul urgently. Paul almost immediately pressed in the gas pedal, urging his car to go faster.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry Jules." Paul brought out through his teeth. I could see the guilt in his eyes and I felt sorry for all of the things I had called him only a few minutes before. That so much could happen in only a matter of time.

"It's okay, Paul. Just don't do that again." Paul didn't reply and stared at the road ahead of him, his focus solely on the fact we need to get home.

"Ouch!" I gasped and glared at Summer. The pain got worse and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Sorry." Summer said and she gave me a small smile that seemed forced.

"We're almost there." Paul said and I looked at him. His eyes were on the road but I knew that his other senses were tracking down the red head Victoria. My mind immediately moved to the dream I had a few weeks ago. The night I had fallen asleep on Paul's couch. The night he told me about the fact that there was a vampire they couldn't catch.

In my dream the vampire didn't look like her at all. The only thing that was similar was her hair. Her crimson hair. I immediately hated the colour now, the way the colour stood out on her pale face. The way it moved in the wind. The way it would stand out in the neutral colour that surrounded us. And the way it was so similar to her terrifying inhuman eyes. I felt the nausea creep up on me and I grabbed the edges of the seat blindly.

"Julie?" Summer saying my name pulled me out of my stupor and I glanced at her with panic written all over my face. "You look like you're going to be sick."

"I-I." I stuttered. "I-uhh, I don't feel..." I blinked and put a hand to my head, the panic was now closing in on me as the realisation struck me. I had dreamt about this Victoria before I even knew she existed, before I even knew how she looked like, yet I managed to get the one crucial thing right. Her hair.

"Honey, it's okay." Summer tried to soothe and she put her hand on my shoulder. "It's just the blood loss that's making you a bit woozy." I nodded, knowing she was right but still I couldn't shake the dream away.

"Baby, we're here, don't worry. We're gonna be fine. I promise." Paul said and his deep voice conveyed nothing but the honest truth. The sincerity that rung in his voice reassured me but it could also be because he wanted to convince himself.

As Emily and Sam's cottage appeared and Paul parked the car in front of the door I moved myself so I was sitting properly again. I opened the door and welcomed the cool air. Everything was so stifling in the car and the cold breeze made thinking clearly much easier. I took a shaky breath and let Paul pull me out of the car. He slammed the door shut with his foot as he carried me to the cottage. Summer had opened the door and I could hear her frantic explanations to Emily who stood in the doorway with worried eyes.

"What happened to her?" Emily demanded as she looked at my leg.

"I bit her." Paul admitted, ignoring the look Emily gave him. "I tried to pull her away but accidentally bit her too hard." I sighed as Paul eased me on the couch.

"Maybe I should go to a hospital?" I proposed. I wasn't sure what they had to do but wasn't I need in of a shot?

"I don't think that's necessary." Emily said as she took hold of my leg and inspected it with careful fingers. I hissed as she reached a rather sore spot. "I'll wrap it up, you'll have to be careful for a few days, but I think that'll do." Emily looked at Summer. "Can you get the first aid kit out of the bathroom? It's in the medicine cabinet." Summer nodded and moved to the stairs.

"Paul, get some warm water." She ordered him and he glanced at me hesitantly before moving. I couldn't even make myself smile at him to reassure him.

"Does it hurt?" Emily asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah, it's mostly sore though and the pain comes and goes." I told her and she nodded. "Where are Sam and Seth?" I asked.

"Seth came here and took Sam. I think they're trying to track her down." I immediately knew who they meant. I felt my jaw tremble with anxiety. "Sweetie, maybe you should take off your pants. It'll be easier to do it now." I frowned, great. I knew it was only Emily and Summer, not to mention Paul, but he had seen me in less so it wasn't a big deal. But somehow I didn't feel as comfortable with this.

"Don't worry, it's just us." Emily soothed as if she had read my mind.

"O-ohkay." I breathed out. Paul came back with a cloth and some warm water when Emily ordered him to hoist me up. As I stood on my feet awkwardly I unbuttoned my jeans, the sudden change of equilibrium made me slightly dizzy but Paul held me up and as he sat me down again, he pulled off my jeans as carefully as he could.

So here I was, in my pink cotton panties while Paul held on to my jeans with his cheeks slightly flushed as he looked at me legs. I felt my own cheeks redden. Emily tried to rub off the blood when Summer returned. She looked at our awkward standings and grinned at me. I glared at her, warning her silently to shut up. Emily never said a thing while she patched me up however couldn't resist saying something to Paul.

"You really did a number on her Paul." She glanced at him for a small second before turning her attention on my leg again.

"Yeah." Paul rubbed the back of his neck, his guilt sprawled over his face for all of us to see. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it, and pulled him next to me on the couch.

"It's alright, these things happen." I murmured hoping it would be enough to make people stop talking about this but somehow I had a feeling that it wasn't enough.

"Not an excuse, Jules." Paul responded and his warm eyes suddenly appeared distant. He pulled his hand out of mine and I tried to ignore the stab of rejection I felt when he stood up and moved to the other side of the room. I glanced at Emily as she bandaged my foot and stood up the second she was done.

Maybe that wasn't such a good idea because not only wasn't I able to put any weight on that foot, I still felt a bit vertigo and I slowly fell over as the room spun and tilted on its own. Several hands grabbed me and steadied me. Paul stood behind me, his arm around my waist underneath my chest, and his other on my hip holding me upright.

"Not so fast Julie." Emily chastised slightly as she held on to my arm. "You got her?" She asked Paul and he murmured a yes. I shivered and realized I felt cold without my jeans. Goose bumps danced on the surface of my russet skin and Paul pulled me on the couch. Me on his lap.

"You're leg isn't fixed yet Jules. Take it easy." I sighed.

"I know, I wasn't really thinking when I stood up." I admitted and I heard Paul sigh, his warm breath tickling the back of my neck. His warm hands were running up and down my upper legs, as to warm them. "What are we going to do now?"

"You aren't going to do anything." Paul said pointedly and I rolled my eyes. "I on the other hand am going to phase, figure out whether they need some help." I nodded and Paul slowly pulled me off of him and seated me on the couch. I glanced at Emily and Summer who stood in the kitchen talking in hushed voices. I could see the faint tremors Summer's body radiated and I took a shaky breath. The whole incident slowly hitting me.

"I can't believe I actually saw her." I murmured and Paul crouched down in front of me. His hands holding my face. "I mean, I-I... I can't b-believe you guys deal with this, on a daily basis."

"We're built for that." Paul answered and I felt like he was referring to himself like some kind of robot. "You on the other hand won't _ever_ be confronted with this again. I can assure you that." I shrugged lazily and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling his close to me. It felt good to bury my face in his neck. I felt safe, like I was in a cocoon. Paul's warm hands were running up and down my back.

"I'm sorry about before." I apologized. "I-I understand now." Paul pulled away slightly putting his forehead against mine.

"Don't apologize." Paul told me. "Although next time we're arguing, you could go easy on my car." I let out a small laugh and moved my lips closer to his.

"You seem so sure they're is going to be a next time." I told him and I felt him shrug, his hot breath fanning my lips.

"There is always a next time Jules. You being so damn stubborn." He said and I opened my mouth to protest when his hot lips were on mine. Crushing every form of protest. I smiled into the kiss and pulled his closer to me, running my hands through his hair. Paul's lips always made me feel good. His lips could be compared to chocolate, to anything pleasurable actually and the fun part. I had him all for myself, I didn't have to share.

**^&^**

"And?" I demanded as I stumbled on my feet. The pack had returned and most of them had thunderous expressions on their faces. Worst of all was Paul's face. I could see the glare Seth sent him and I hated the fact that Seth and Paul couldn't get along. The worst part, Paul was glaring himself and the way he carried himself just betrayed the fact he was furious.

"How is your foot?" Sam asked kindly as he grabbed my arm and steered me to a chair. "I heard what happened."

"My foot is fine." I said quickly. "Did you get her though?" Sam shook his head.

"She got away." He said calmly and I felt unease settle in my stomach. I glanced at Paul who wasn't looking in my direction on purpose. His fists were clenched on either side of him and I gave him a worried look.

"_Again._ She got away _again._" Seth repeated and I looked at him and saw him scowl as he held Summer's hand. "How long is this going to go on?" He demanded and I realized he was really angry. In my whole life I've only seen Seth like this a handful of times. Which isn't a lot.

"We've had this conversation before Seth." Sam said sternly. The way he said it gave me chills. Sam had so much control over himself and the pack that sometimes he had this strange vibe. Scary vibe, but maybe it was just because he was so big. Bigger than Paul and Seth and I thought they were huge.

Seth murmured something incoherently but Paul's head snapped to him. The anger in his eyes surprised me and I wished I had the good hearing like the werewolves in the living room right now.

"Care to repeat that?" Paul hissed as he moved towards Seth. Seth pushed Summer away and took a few steps closer to Paul. I ignored the throbbing in my foot and hobbled towards them. I was glad Emily had given me some flannel pants to cover myself up.

"Stop!" I yelled pushing Paul away from Seth. He let himself being pushed and I felt relieved because that meant he didn't really want it. "Stop behaving like three-year-olds." I said out loud. "Unattractive." I murmured under my breath and I turned to Paul glaring at him. "Stop it." I said firmly again.

"Whatever." Paul grunted and he grabbed my arm. "Let's get you home." And he started to pull me towards the door. No protest could delay our departure.

"Call me when you need me." Paul said to Sam and I couldn't even see his response because we were outside again. Paul lifted me up again and moved to the car.

Once settled in the car I turned to my dark Quileute boyfriend. My eyes narrowed and my arms crossed over my chest. He had some serious explaining to do for the little stunt he pulled just a second ago.

"Care to tell me what the hell that was?" I demanded as Paul started the car.

"Not now Jules." I glared at him. His response didn't really make things easier to understand. Darn idiot.

_**A/N: Thank you for reading :) Love to hear from you :)**_


	33. Show Me Your Teeth

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!**_

**_A/N: So I wanted to publish this chapter on my birthday this Monday, but somehow I couldn't... Hmm. But here it is, and so you know this chapter has a slight different mood. Somewhat smut alert, so people who rather not read that, don't! Anyways, at the end things are going to be in line with Eclipse again. And I hope you guys are prepared for that! And with that I hope you will enjoy the chapter and review :) I love to hear things :D Enjoy!_**

**_P.S I managed to update two of my stories! How amazing is that? Check It's Not Me, It's You out as well :)_**

_**Show Me Your Teeth**_

I wasn't really sure how the both of us ended up like this. All I knew was that I was incredibly aroused. It was a like a fire, a fire that spread itself and made me yearn for more. The fact I was in Rhea Ferris's bathroom during her graduation party, with an almost naked Paul was just something I liked and that liking increased by the second. I pushed myself closer to Paul and my hands ran over his bare back. His warm hands were currently on the back of my thighs as he suddenly picked me up. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and his lips sought out mine. I pressed myself eagerly against him, wanting to feel, to touch more of him and Paul didn't object.

Paul's hand ran up knee and his hand breached my panties. His lips ran down my throat and I realized I was breathing heavily, but so was he. I quickly worked on removing my shirt but I was incredibly uncoordinated and I fell against Paul. His laughter filled up the bathroom. I glared at him as he smiled at me amused.

"Oh shut up!" I told him. Although there was a smile on my face as well. I couldn't help it. It was sort of funny.

"Someone's eager." He commented as he helped me discard my shirt. I just raised my arms.

"Can you blame me." I responded cheekily. Paul smirked as he put his hand on the back of my neck pulling me closer for a kiss. I loved his lips and I couldn't help but eagerly respond as his mouth begged me for more. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed myself closer to his chest. His hot skin pressed against mine.

We moved great together. I couldn't deny that, maybe it was because of the imprint bond. Or maybe it just was because we had brilliant chemistry and we both knew what we wanted from each other, and we were able to provide that. Whatever it was, no one could say we didn't know how to move. Paul's hand moved down to the small of my back cupping me from behind when suddenly I heard a knock on the door. Paul groaned and his lips pulled away from mine.

"Go away!" I yelled. The only reason I was this bold was because I was slightly intoxicated. Paul arrived later on the party and I had indulged quite a few drinks, and since I was an obvious lightweight it was hilarious I chose to react this way. Paul rested his face against my bare shoulder and I pulled off my heel and threw it against the door. I felt him smile against my shoulder.

"Sorry Jules." I heard Seth's apologetic voice. The worst part was that I was somewhat embarrassed but I couldn't react upon it. So I settled for ignoring Seth.

"I knew you were a lightweight Jules, but you sure turn me on like this." I smiled and bit my lip while I raised my eyebrows.

"It's not my fault." I defended. "You're the one that made me wait. Aren't women supposed to be late?" Paul rolled his eyes and his hot hands settled on my waist. Another surge of hot fire ran through me and I tried to refrain myself from jumping at Paul again.

"Well, if you're going to be like this every time I'm late I'll be sure to make it a habit." I smacked his arm before pulling him into another kiss. My lips were swollen but I was glad to pay that price if Paul kept kissing me like that.

"Guys! Come on!" Seth slammed his fist a few times against the door and I sighed pulling away from Paul.

"Don't move." I told him and I tried to get off the counter. Stumbling as I realized I was only wearing one heel. I smiled sheepishly at Paul who just stared at me. I took that as an encouragement to continue. I moved to the door and quickly unlocked it before opening it.

The beats of the music immediately penetrated my eardrums and I glared at Seth who was standing in the doorway. Behind him stood Summer who was glaring at Seth as well. Seth glanced at my attire before I could even realize I was only dressed in my waist-high black skirt and one heel. Seth guffawed and opened the door completely to see Paul without a shirt.

"I'm sorry Jules. I told him to leave you guys alone." Summer apologized. "I told you they were fine. Besides, we should be doing that as well. But instead of that, you're being some stupid chaperone." Summer crossed her arms in front of her chest and Seth stared at me before he finally said something. Maybe he was too befuddled to react?

"Sam called." Seth said and I understood his persistence. Paul appeared behind me shielding me from the curious gazes some other students gave me. Could you blame them?

"So?" I protested. "I'm sure you guys are allowed to have a night off, right?" Paul ignored me and pushed me behind him. I glared at his bare back and decided to get dressed. It seemed I wasn't going to get some tonight. And I was looking forward to it!

"Idiot." I breathed out and I picked up my shirt that was located in the bathtub. How it got there, I didn't know. I got in the tub when my heel clad foot slipped as I managed to turn the shower on. I shrieked as the cold water sprayed me under, because of the shock I had trouble getting back on my feet and since I kept slipping I was still on my back in the tub with my feet dangling outside.

"Jules!" Paul turned off the water and I looked at him through bleary eyes filled with water. I cursed a few times when he suddenly started to laugh.

"Shut up!" I hissed pointing my finger at him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me on my feet. My other foot stuck in my wet shirt. "Shit, shit, shit."

"Come on, I'll help you." Paul said, trying to hide the ridiculous smile. This was so embarrassing. I suppose the cold water sobered me up a bit because instead of laughing I felt like crying. I glared at Paul and the others who laughing just as hard as Paul before and quickly pulled myself out of the tub. I slipped off my heel, now my feet were equally horizontal, and grabbed my shirt and wringed it out.

"Let's go." I said, my mood had taken a turn for the worst and Paul looked at Seth who shrugged. I quickly slipped on the wet shirt before I collected my heels.

"Oh come on, Jules." Paul said as I ignored him and walked out of the bathroom. "It was funny, how could I not laugh."

"Hilarious Paul." I retorted and I moved to the exit through the crowd as people looked at me with amused looks on their faces. As soon as I was outside I shivered. I turned around to see Paul in his dry shirt. I pursed my lips and crossed my arms as another cold breeze shook me. It was supposed to get a bit warmer. Summer was about to start.

"Baby, come on." Paul grabbed my arms and even though I wanted to recoil his hot skin did really feel good. "I'm sorry." I looked at him and Paul looked genuinely sorry. His brown eyes were focused on mine although I could see them wander a bit south.

"Paul, baby." I said sweetly. "My face is here." I said pointing at my face. "Not there! So if you apologise at least pretend you mean it." I snapped and I pushed Paul away. I could hear Summer laugh as Seth tried to shush her. I raised my hands in the air.

"Thanks for your support Summer." I said scathingly but Summer just kept on laughing. "Great, so what are we going to do now?"

"Waiting for Jared and Kim." Seth replied with a straight face. "They're going to be here in a second."

"And then you're going to go to Sam?" I asked. Paul shook his head. "Why did he call you then?"

"We're going to meet him around three." I looked at my watch. It was just before midnight."

"For what?" I demanded. I looked at Paul and Seth but they just shrugged. "What?"

"I'll tell you when we get home. Why don't we get you into some warm clothes?" Paul said trying to distract me. I let him. "Seth, I'll meet you tonight. I'm going to take Julie home."

"Yeah, sure." Seth and Summer waved at me and I gave them a small wave. Still slightly miffed about the fact they were laughing at me not a minute ago.

**^*^**

"I can't believe you forgot your keys." Paul hissed as he pulled me back to his car.

"I'm sorry." I apologised. "But I was sort of busy."

"With what?" He asked incredulously. I gaped, I couldn't remember. I groaned, maybe I shouldn't have drunk that much punch. I leaned against Paul as my sense of equilibrium was slightly affected.

"Just like I thought." He looked down at me. "Jules, if you can't handle liquor that well why did you drink it?"

"I didn't hear you complain a half an hour ago." I responded sourly. I saw his skin darken although it was hard to see at night, I was satisfied I affected him like that.

"Yeah. Well. Still." He spluttered with words as he ran his hand through his hair. I pulled at his sleeve before pushing myself on my toes. With my heels I was able to whisper in his heels.

"I'm sorry." I apologised, sounding anything but sorry.

"That's okay." He whispered back as he put his hands on the small of my back. I rested my hands on his chest, fingering his buttons before I kissed his jaw.

"Are your parents home?" I asked, my voice lower than usual. He shook his head, speechless.

"Good."

**^*^**

It was a good thing his parents weren't home. With the amount of noise the both of us were making I was sure it would've scared them. I could feel, yet again, the wall against my back as Paul pressed himself against me. His hard body pressed against mine was something I couldn't get enough of. I ran my hand over his taut muscles and Paul groaned into the kiss. I raised my hand and cupped his face as his ton begged for entrance. I opened my mouth slightly, granting him that. His hand went under my skirt and he cupped me from behind, lifting me up so I wouldn't have to crane my neck that much. I slipped off my heels instantly. They fell on the floor with a clatter.

I didn't care. I was glad we kept this confined to one room because I was sure his parents wouldn't appreciate it if they got home early. I pulled away from Paul since oxygen was a must and his lips trailed down my throat to my collar bone. As his lips kept dipping deeper I let my head roll back, giving him the freedom to roam freely.

"Did you shut the door?" I asked. Slightly out of breath. He grunted. I took that as a yes and I quickly pushed myself away from him so I could discard my shirt. Paul looked at me and did the same thing. This time we weren't in the mood for foreplay. We were perfectly able to undress ourselves. I reached to the clasp of my bra and quickly let it drop to the floor as Paul reached for me. I squealed but it turned into a moan and I felt his hard chest against mine.

I always felt vulnerable like this. Paul was the only one that had seen me like this and it has been a long time since we had been intimate like this. I was fairly anxious but what I saw in Paul's eyes assured me of one thing. He was in love with me and my worries paled in comparison with that.

I carefully traced his sharp jaw with my finger before I reached his lips. I tapped his nose before I leaned forward for a kiss. He obliged immediately. His lips roamed freely since he wasn't confided to just my lips. I felt him lift me up and lay me on the bed. His weight covering me immediately.

After that I was pretty much silent. I did feel his lips on me of course. The way his hands teased my breast, the way his lips trailed a path down my stomach. I bucked my hips far too often but I hated him teasing me like that and I reached down grabbing him as I quickly pushed off my panties. We moaned as he thrust inside, you can say euphoria filled us and the way our hips met each other during each thrust, the way our moans filled his room was prove enough.

As his weight covered me and both of us were sweating and breathing hardly. Trying to recover I couldn't help but think of the fact that the summer was arriving far too soon. If the summer was here it would mean that next semester was going to start soon enough as well and that meant I had to leave. I closed my eyes and Paul moved off me. I could feel his eyes on me. I turned my face to him. A slight sheen of sweat covered his taut body and I could see his every muscles.

"Hey." I whispered and he smiled. His hand lay on my stomach, his fingers teasing gently.

"I love you." He said and he moved his body closer to mine. I turned to my side and kissed his chin.

"I love you too." He smiled pushing strands of hair out of my face.

"At what time are you going to leave?" I asked remembering his meeting with Sam. I was slightly suspicious of their timing but I was sure it was either a secret or it was some silly patrol.

"Around three." I glanced at the clock. It was just after one." I smiled at him.

"We still have time." I said cheekily and I loved his grin as I moved one of my legs to the other side of him, straddling him. I put my hands on either side of him. His hands on my hips.

"I love the way your mind thinks." He retorted and I shut him up with another kiss. If I only had three months with him I was going to make it the most of it. Starting with tonight.

But on the other hand, I wasn't ready for what he had to tell me an hour later. I was still in bed, the sheets covering me as I watched Paul get dressed. I looked at his back. The way his muscles moved was something that fascinated me. Paul was strong. His back only could prove that. I pressed my lips together and moved to my stomach. My head laying on his pillow.

"When will you back?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know. Depends on how long Sam wants us there." Paul responded, choosing his words carefully. I frowned.

"Where is that exactly?" I asked, I wanted to know more. Paul shrugged.

"It's not important."

"Are you having some pack meeting?" I asked. Paul nodded and he sat down on the edge of his bed. He put his hand on my bare shoulder, rubbing circles.

"What is it about?" I pried. Paul sighed. He retracted his hand and leaned his elbows on his knees leaning forward as he looked at the floor. I frowned again and sat up straight, clutching the sheet against me.

"What's wrong?" I demanded. I put my hand on his shoulder. He glanced at me before cracking a small smile.

"You don't have to do that. I've seen it already." I rolled my eyes. I knew that. He had told me that before, but that was so not the point.

"Not the point." I responded blandly. "What's going on?" I felt dread fill me up and knots appeared in my stomach. It had to be serious if Paul got quiet himself.

"Twenty newborns are coming this weekend." I blinked.

"Twenty _what_?"

Paul sighed as he looked at me again. I could see something in his eyes and that scared me. "Paul, what do you mean?"

"Vampires Jules." I blinked again. Twenty newborn vampires were coming here this weekend.

"And you're going to fight them." I stated blankly. Paul sighed and nodded. My throat constricted and I stared at him, I wasn't sure what to say because there were so many things running through my mind. One thing that dominated over all of them. Fear.

I was scared shitless and with Paul not being able to comfort me it only made things worse. I pulled my knees against my chest trying to find my train of thoughts. Everything was spinning in circles and it was hard to pick out the sensible ones. I put my hand against my head.

"You're going to die." I choked and suddenly everything hit me. I pushed my lips together scrunching my eyes shut, tears escaped the corner of my eyes and they ran down my cheeks.

"I don't know." Paul said quietly.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" I demanded, suddenly angry. "You're going to fight twenty vampires! Why?"

"The pack isn't alone. The Cullens are going to help." Oh the Cullens are going to help, and I suppose that's going to make me feel better.

"Why would they?" I asked. I looked at Paul, craving answers.

"Because the vampires are after Bella." I blacked out. Bella. _Bella_.

"Then why don't they fix it themselves?" I almost screamed. "Just because Bella has the unfortunate luck attracting twenty vampires doesn't mean you have to put your own life on the line."

"Jules, it's not that simple. Those vampires killed our people as well. Besides, Jake-"

"Screw Jake!" I interrupted. I breathed loudly before I couldn't hold the tears inside of me. They were blurring my sights and I put my hand in front of my mouth. What was I going to do?

"I can't believe it." I murmured softly and Paul turned around again and he crushed me against his chest. Lifting me up, sheets and all, as he settled me in his laps. I rested my head in the crook of his neck. I couldn't do anything but cry.

"They're coming in two days." I said. The sobs slowly dissolving, the tears however, kept coming.

"Yes." He wrapped his arm tighter around me and I took another shaky breath.

"You'll be fine." I told him. I was trying to convince myself. Even though I knew that the chances were slim. Because him not returning at all was a possibility. And I wasn't sure whether I could live with that possibility hanging above my head. It was like a knife.

It was silly to think that just an hour ago I was worrying about being separated from Paul because of the distance whereas I should've known that there was a more permanent separation.

_**A/N: And? Thoughts? Lemme know!**_


	34. And You Can't Save Me Now

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. **_

**_A/N: Dum dum dum! So the end is almost near and I thought why not make a chapter in Paul's point of view. I always found his so bloody entertaining and intruiging. I wonder how it went. There are a few things I really like, although some parts I just flat out hate! Anyways, this will be the last update for a while. I need to sort out a few things with school and I'll try to update if I can and write things. But for the time being, this'll have to do. I hope you guys can see the end of this. I sure can't. Thank God I have a sequel to look forward to. But still, it's strange that this is chapter 34 while Paul and Julie have been on my mind for the past year and more. It's strange it's almost over. Or at least, one part of their story. Anyways, I hope you guys will like it and please review :) You know I love them. Enjoy:_**

**_P.S Thank you guys for the birthday wishes! Who knew being nineteen could make a girl feel ancient! lol!_**

_**And You Can't Save Me Now**_

It's almost funny how times goes by that quickly. Before I even knew it two days had passed and Sam had ordered us to prepare for the 'war' that was coming in less than a few hours. Both Jake and Seth were already at the scene of the clearing where we were going to fight for the upper hand. It's almost funny that there was a chance of someone not returning. That person could be me, but somehow that didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Yes, I have thought about dying.

And yes, I have thought of leaving Julie.

But at least emotions where the thing I was going to miss out on when I was dead. So the only person I'd remotely feel sorry for was Julie, because I knew that I'd hurt her if I didn't return.

_If_ I didn't return.

Julie was almost close to catatonic once I told her about the newborns. She barely reacted to anything someone said. At least Emily, Kim and Summer had a way to get rid of the bottled up feelings. Julie was only a ticking bomb and all I could do was wait for her ticker to go off and hopefully shield her from the collateral damage it would cause.

I knew how Summer felt. Hell I think everyone was aware of her feelings. She kept complaining and the resentment wasn't hard to distinguish from the fear we all could see. But at least she was reacting.

Kim was, like always, over-emotional. And, like always, it resulted into clinginess. She didn't let go of Jared and nor did Jared mind. The ironic part was that I was actually able to understand Kim's motives and why she was clinging to Jared so much. If it were me I'd do the exact same thing. I was doing it with Julie, only she didn't seem to care. At least, that's the message she gave me.

Emily was the only healthy one. She cooked, a lot, but she kept tabs on everyone else by being understanding. And by being Emily. She couldn't hurt a fly even if she had to save her own life. Which is probably why Leah never was able to go off at her. Even though Emily had stolen Sam away from her. Although that was bound to happen anyways, with or without the imprinting.

We were driving to Emily and Sam's cottage. Julie's eyes were focused on the woods outside and it didn't matter what I did or say. I just couldn't get her to react. I wondered how it was going to be when I left.

I made a impulsive decision. I wasn't going to leave her like this, she wasn't allowed to do that to me. I was sick with her masochistic manner of handling things. I was sick of the self-inflicting pain which she didn't just put on herself, but also on me. For once I would like her to react in a manner I know how to handle. For once I'd like her to be _human_. I would like her to scream and shout, cry. Anything that indicated that she was indeed a human being who had feelings and emotions and used at least _one kind _of emotion to explain herself.

Not this catatonic shit.

I pulled over the car and this pulled her out of her reverie. I took a deep breath and turned off the engine. My hands were on the steering wheel, my knuckles paling as I tightened my hold. I needed an opening to start.

"Paul?" Her soft voice made me look at her. Her dark hair was pulled in a messy ponytail, there were circles beneath her eyes, she was paler than usual. Her soft, round face with doe-like eyes were staring at me. I swallowed. There was dread in my stomach. Fear, for what was waiting for the pack and I.

I got out of the car, slamming the door harder than I should've done. I opened Julie's door and pulled her outside. The confusion swam in her eyes and insecurity radiated off her like warmth did off me.

"Hit me." I said as I stared at her. I hoped my feelings weren't showing. I hoped I was coming across as the asshole I used to be.

"What?" She frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She pressed her lips together and looked at the car.

"You heard me. Hit me." I repeated.

"You're being crazy." Julie responded and she moved back inside of the car. I grabbed her arm though and pulled her out again. Harsher than I should've done if this wasn't such a dreadful moment. She stumbled, I steadied her.

"I said, hit me." I glared at her and I saw the anger bubble beneath her skin. But suddenly it stopped. She heaved a deep sigh and raised her palm. Slapping me softly on the arm. I barely felt the impact.

"Happy?" She asked as she gave me an exhausted look. This wasn't really going the way I planned it and I gritted my teeth in order to refrain myself from snapping at her. But I couldn't help it. Julie had her way of exhausting me and pushing me to the edge in a way I didn't think was possible.

Yes I had my moments were people would infuriate me. That included family and friends as well. But with Julie it was different. Because when she said something, I actually cared and she would be the only thing on my mind if something set her off. Because I actually cared when she was angry. I actually cared when she said something about me that she didn't like or approve. She actually made me see that I wasn't _that_ horrible if I wasn't such an asshole.

However, she also was the only one who could hurt me by hurting herself. And even though I was the tough one out of the pack. I was the biggest softie when it came to our imprints. I was officially whipped and I'd give up this pack life in a second if I had a say in it. Even though there was a part of me that enjoyed being a wolf. A part of me that enjoyed having 'brothers'. Despite the pain and the consequences of being one.

It's not always as hyped up as it seems. Because it hurts like a bitch every time we phased. And that was only going to go away if we fully surrender to it. Which was unnatural, because there will always be a part that will resist it with all its power. So even trying to built a resistance was wishful thinking.

"Fuck. Julie." I growled. "Do _something._ Anything. Please." I asked her. I put my hands on either side of her as I backed her to the car. She reacted by giving me a glare.

"Is this your way of trying to coax out a reaction?" She asked. A tinge of edge in her voice. I mentally smiled. I was getting somewhere.

"What if it is?" I provoked.

She raised one of her dark eyebrows. I could see her cheeks tinge red as she opened her mouth respond. I loved riling her up, though today seemed to pull more at my conscious than turn me on.

"Then it's a pathetic way of trying." She responded. "I'm not a puppet, Paul. You can't force me to do things."

"I'm not forcing you." I explained. I swallowed the guilt and tried to get it out of my system. Since when was I even able to feel guilt?

"Oh no?" Sarcasm included. "Then what the fuck are you doing?" I raised my eyebrows. Julie swore. It was only natural. Although saying fuck wasn't something she did easily. She had her way of censoring things.

"Language." I chastised, trying to get rid of the tension.

"Oh screw you." She said and she ducked from underneath my arms and got back in the car. Slamming the door effectively in my face. I blinked. She did not just blow me off.

She did.

I grunted and I walked back to the driver's side and got in the car myself. Starting the engine as I glanced at Julie, who had her eyes on the road ahead of us. I wanted to say something, I wish I just knew how. No it wasn't my vocabulary that was the problem. It had to do with the fact that I just had a tendency of putting my foot in my mouth. And something about being a pussy.

Which I tried to avoid in the first place.

Being a guy can be so fucking exhausting.

The ride to Emily and Sam went by quickly. Julie hadn't said a word. I stopped trying to coax out anything now. She made it perfectly clear she didn't want me doing anything of the sorts. She's fairly good at making a point, you know. Wish I was able to vocalize things in the same way Julie could. On a second thought, no. I'm glad I wasn't able to do that.

Respecting Julie's way, but no, she was terrible when it came to dealing with her problems. I was pretty easy with dealing mine. So I vote for my solutions.

"You ready?" I asked her as I turned off the engine again. We were in front of Emily's house and I just knew that we were the last ones there. Sam was going to kill me for that.

"It's not like I have a choice, Paul." She said evenly. She sounded calm, but also detached and I put my hand on the back of her neck. I forced her to look at me.

"Jules, whatever happens today I want you to-" She pulled away in a second and slammed the door. She blew me off the second time today. I pushed away the rejection and sighed before getting out of the car myself.

I slightly jogged over the steps and opened the front door. Julie was already inside and I saw everyone in the living room. Only Quil had a neutral face, next to Sam of course. Whereas the others, well you can say I was able to read them like an open book. The pages in front of me, just begging to be read.

"Paul." Jared acknowledged. Quil looked over at me and grinned.

"Ready to kill some leeches, Paul? I know I am." His excitement over it all sometimes ceased me. And irritated me. I'm not sure which one was more dominant. He reached out to me with his fist. I bumped mine to his, just because I could not _not_ do it.

"That's not even remotely funny." Julie murmured from beside me as she gave me a pointed look. A look that said, _I'm too exasperated to do a thing about it but don't think I'm not angry._ You know those looks. The ones you can't ignore because that'd only set them off more.

"Jules..." I trailed off. There wasn't much I could say. Was there? So I turned my attention to Quil instead who was grinning at me as Julie moved to the kitchen where Emily was.

"Fuck off Quil." I muttered as I eyed his grin.

"I didn't say anything." He responded.

"You didn't have to." I told him and he shrugged at me, returning to his seat.

"Where is Sam?" I demanded as I moved to the empty chair next to Jared.

Jared's face. I could write a book about it. He was stiff, leaning against his chair as he looked at the window. His eyes were focused on something non-existent and he was barely moving. His manner of approach though, or should I say, the way he did not approach made things clear as crystal. He was scared shitless. And he knew he wasn't the only one.

Jared was the one person who was able to scare me in a certain way. And he managed to do that before I was even able to scamper up some kind of defence against his attacks.

"He's in the woods. He'll let us know when to go to the clearing. I'm guessing it won't be long." Embry said. Embry was always more reserved than the others. It's refreshing.

"So who is going to stay here with the girls?" I asked. Jared still didn't respond. Quil gave him a calculating look but responded.

"Collin and Brady. Sam doesn't want them in the crossfire." I nodded. "Seth is with Bella and Jake." I grimaced. Bella. The reason we were in this fucking position. Although it'd be a bit rich to give her all the credit. Now I'm at it, why don't I blame the whole Cullen clan immediately? Fucking leeches.

"Where's Kim?" I asked. This time I directly looked at Jared who finally decided to react. He shrugged.

"Sleeping. She was tired" He nudged his head to the bedroom on the bottom floor of the cottage. I nodded. I could only imagine what they had done tonight. Oh wait, I can actually.

"Wore her out, didn't you?" Quil said as he punched Jared's shoulder. "You sly dog!" Jared wore a weak smile on his face that wouldn't even convince a blind person.

"Quil. Do you ever not think with your downstairs brain?" Embry said exasperated as he switched on the TV. Apparently we weren't entertaining enough. I scoffed.

"You know him Em." I began. "He doesn't have an upstairs brain." Quil threw a pillow at my face. I dodged it quickly.

"Fuck off." Quil murmured although there was a ghost of a smile on his face. I smiled smugly at him. Embry laughed from his spot on the couch. I leant against my chair and crossed my arms.

"Where is everyone?" I asked out loud. I was referring to Summer and the other imprints.

"Summer's not coming." I frowned.

"Why not?" Embry and Quil exchanged looks.

"They had a fight." I was able to foresee that.

"Naturally." I responded. "Let me guess. Summer started it."

"Yeah that's what I thought." Quil said. "But funnily enough, Seth is the one that instigated it. For a change." That seemed so out of character.

"Well why were they fighting?" I asked. Embry shrugged as Quil replied.

"Beats me. Seth didn't want her near La Push or Forks." I frowned. Wasn't that a bit too presumptuous. "Or something like that."

"That's not really something Seth would do. He's the empathic one in the pack." I pointed out.

"Really?" Quil feigned surprise. "I thought that was you Paul." He rolled his eyes.

"Hilarious Quil." I sighed and looked at the kitchen.

"How's Julie." Embry asked. He was the only one that was able to ask such a question without coming across like a total dick with his hidden messages. The boy was too sincere. I wasn't sure what to say though. How was Julie? She was being her plain old self. A total masochist.

"That doesn't sound good." I heard Quil say. His response to my silence.

"No, nothing's wrong." I assured them. I was lying. Hell they didn't have to be in my mind to notice that.

"Uhu and I'm the fucking queen of England." Quil muttered.

"Well..." Embry trailed off and I coughed out a laugh as Quil hit Embry on the back of his head.

"I'm going to see how Julie is." I said and I got up, leaving the two sixteen-year-olds to their silly old games. I knew Jared wasn't listening. I have a feeling he was far too wrapped up in his own thoughts to pay attentions to his surrounding in the first place.

"Jules." I called out. I got no response though. I walked into the kitchen and I saw Julie with her back turned to me. I put my hands on her waist as she jumped. Did I mention she had the tendency to jump at the most silly things. Like something was going to happen to her.

I rested my chin in the crook of her neck. My lips teasing the bare skin. Julie smelled good. A hint of vanilla or whatever it was. All I knew it was damn good and I loved it.

"Where's Emily?" I asked and she nodded at the window. I could see Emily in the backyard as she glanced at the woods. Next to her was a dark wolf. Brady. I had seen Collin in the front yard.

"You okay?" I grunted, my attention back on Julie. She nodded.

"Fine." She said dismissively and I closed my eyes hoping that I was able to keep the irritation at bay. Something I couldn't do these days.

"Okay, that's it." I murmured and I grabbed her upper arm. I manoeuvred her up the stairs as I ignored the taunts of Quil and refrained to punch his face. She wasn't protesting. Or at least, not that viciously and I felt some pride that I had her give in so easily. I pushed her into the tiny bathroom and wondered why both Jules and I had this strange fascinations with bathrooms.

"What the hell are you doing?" She exclaimed. I looked at her evenly. Her brown eyes couldn't sway me today. Not today.

"We need to talk." I responded. She gave me a levelled glare.

"Since when are you so in to talking anyways?" She snapped and I rolled my eyes. Her words didn't sting that much. Partly because I knew that at this point she didn't meant them. If only I was confident enough to convince myself of that when she was her normal self.

"I'm not." I said tightly. "But since you're being such a fucking masochist I don't have a choice." She narrowed her eyes. "Besides I'm going in a few minutes."

"Oh." Her eyes softened and I smiled grimly. Putting my hand on her cheek. I rubbed the skin beneath her eye and she closed her eyes momentarily, she leaned into the touch and I put my other hand on her waist. I bended forward and kissed her forehead.

"I love you." I breathed out and she nodded. Sounding out of breath.

"I know." She murmured.

"Do me a favour." She looked at me. "And just tell me what's going through your head. Because I honestly have no idea. And I'll get a brain haemorrhage by just trying to figure you out." She let out a small laugh and I couldn't help but smile. She put both her hands on my chest and her small hands held on to the shirt I was wearing.

"I-I." She stopped and I could see her eyes focus on my shirt. It was like she wasn't able to just tell me what was going on.

"Go on." I urged.

"I don't want y-you to die." She breathed out. "And I know that you can't tell me that everything is going to be fine. Because the chances are quite small that everyone will walk away unharmed. You know that." I nodded. "So don't tell me everything will be fine."

"I won't." I promised. "But I'll try." She nodded and I could see the tears shine in her eyes. She blinked several times, willing them away but somehow they couldn't and I felt a sharp stab inside of me.

So I kissed the tip of her nose and the corner of her mouth before I fully pressed my lips against her. She responded easily and she stood on the tip of her toes trying to remain attached. I pressed myself closer to her. Her curves beneath my hands drove me crazy and I wanted to feel her bare skin. I slipped my hands beneath her shirt and hissed as she dug her nails in my shoulder. The small catlike noises she was making were enough to make me crave more and I ran my hands over her bare back.

Her lips made my insides burn and I was pretty sure it would match my outer temperature. She pulled away and my lips roamed to her throat. I gently kissed her beneath her jaw. The raw passion didn't seem right at this point.

Her hands were now beneath my shirt, her fingers barely moving as she leaned into me. My arm encircled her waist and I pulled away my lips from her skin. I could hear the voices from downstairs as one voice in particular called out my name. So it was time. Julie heard it as well and her body stiffened. She didn't pull away though, she gave me the choice to do that on my own.

"Jules." I said. My voice scratchy. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. I wasn't sure what was appropriate or what she wanted to hear. But I knew I had to go.

"Go." She murmured and I let go slowly. She looked at me and I took in her face again. There was no way I wasn't coming back to her. I bended forward and pressed my lips roughly against her. Ignoring her gasp or the way she quickly reacted to my touch. I just wanted her to know everything I felt, everything I was aware of feeling and everything I didn't know. I wanted her to know that this would _not_ be the last time I'd be kissing her.

I abruptly pulled away and pulled off my shirt handing it to her. She took it wordlessly and I gave her one last look before I descended the stairs. So the moment had finally arrived. And just like expected no one was truly ever prepared for what was coming. No matter how long we had the time.

**_A/N: Let me know your thoughts if not more :) Please review! :)_**


	35. Until I Wrap Myself Inside Your Arms

_**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**_

**_A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews :) I'm glad you all enjoyed it! Pfew, I can't believe we made it past the 600 you guys! That's like brilliant :O Anyways, on with the story. I'm sad to say that there is only one chapter left! On a brighter note, there is a sequel. But... the catch. It will be up when I'm done with my exams! So, you guys have to wait till the end of May for that. But since we still have this chapter and another one left, I'm sure you guys have enough to lessen the thirst for Oh Jules :P So here is the next chapter and enjoy :) And like always, review :) Because they are love! And this story needs some love! _**

_Until I Wrap Myself Inside Your Arms I Cannot Rest_

It was easier to see him leave than I thought it would be. Then again, he had to leave, whether by choice or not. This was a responsibility. One you couldn't walk away from and that he knew. So did I. It didn't make things easier though. In fact, I was pretty damn sure that this responsibility made things more complicated. Now I can say how women felt when their loved ones were sent to war. Technically this was a war. Between two uncanny things yes, but still a war. The risks were the same, either come back dead or not coming back at all. Paul hadn't reassured me that he was going to come back alive. And even though I tried to convince myself of the fact that he was coming back with everything intact, the chances were quite slim that he was returning in one piece.

He just signed his death sentence.

My stomach churned and I closed my eyes. I was still in the bathroom, clutching Paul's shirt. I buried my face in it and his scent washed over me. Just like that, my stomach eased down a bit and I took a deep breath, holding his shirt in front of my face all the time. I loved Paul's scent. It soothed me down and right now I wanted to tone down my anxiety. It was easier to do it if I had something that came the closest to Paul. His shirt was all I had right now. Next to his car that was parked in front of Emily's house. I doubted I could sit in Paul's car, it would encourage me to go to him and I doubt that a stunt like that wouldn't be punished. I shivered, the thought of vampires scared me.

Especially because they used to be in stories. Stories that were distanced from reality. But I suppose that theory has left the world. At least, in my world.

A knock pulled me out of my inner drabbles and I looked up from my position on the floor. Kim was standing on the threshold and before I knew it she walked over to me and sat down. She didn't say anything nor did she give me any recognition of the whole situation, instead she stayed with me and at some point I had drooped my head to her shoulder. Her physical presence being a comfort.

"I-I'm scared." She confessed. The silence that had engulfed us was long gone now she had spoken. I hated her voice. Small and fragile. It only reminded me of the fact that I was just as bad as she was right now.

"Me too." I responded. I pulled myself back to a sitting position and glanced at the brunette next to me. Her eyes were filled with tears not yet shed. I felt a lump grow in my throat.

Don't cry. You're not going to cry. I chanted in my head. It was easier thought than done though. Sometimes it took for someone else to express pain for you to break. And I was going to break if Kim kept doing this. The fragile act I mean. For I didn't want anyone else to prove to myself that I was a wreck.

Suddenly I heard the front door slam shut and a flutter of anticipation bubbled up inside of me. It couldn't possibly be, could it? It has only been two hours. Before I knew it I was up on my feet and running down the stairs to the living room. My chest was heaving up and down as I came to a stop and saw that it was Summer who had slammed the door. I was shocked to say, but there was a glimmer of disappointment as that little bubble of hope was burst and I let out a shaky breath that could've been seen as relieve. But it was nothing close to that.

"Summer." I was still trying to catch my breath. I heard Kim descend the stairs. As she asked the question that I was trying to vocalize.

"Summer? What are you doing here?" Kim sounded somewhat pulled together now and as I eyed the green-eyed girl in front of me I realized that she looked anything but pulled together. In fact, Summer had tears running down her cheeks. And I knew how she felt, because besides Seth being in battle so was Brady. She didn't know he was pulled back at the last moment though.

"Brady is in the garden." I blurted out and Summer turned to me. There was relief in her eyes, something she couldn't vocalize. She nodded though. "So he's fine."

"Seth's not." She mumbled and she dragged her body to the couch and collapsed. Kim and I followed her example and I sat down next to her as Kim sat down on the other side.

"How's Emily doing?" Summer asked. I shrugged. I hadn't really seen her that much.

"Don't know." I muttered. "She's with Brady in the garden. Collin is in the front yard. They're keeping an eye on us and keeping tabs on the battle."

"I hate this." Summer spoke up. "I hate the fact that Seth and I fight because both of us can't come to one mutual agreement." I closed my eyes and both Kim and I inched closer to Summer. "Worst of all. I hate the fact he's right ninety nine percent of the time."

Kim snorted.

"And don't tell him that." Summer warned. "He'd never let me hear the end of it."

"Don't worry." Kim responded dryly. "Your fights are far too amusing for us to take that away." Now I snorted.

"Don't you start." Summer warned. "You and Paul fight almost as much as Seth and I." I frowned. No we didn't.

"We don't." I muttered.

"Yeah, you do." Kim agreed. "Just because Seth and Summer fight more in the open and you and Paul don't, doesn't mean that your fights are less frequent."

"Thanks." I responded sarcastically. "You guys really know how to cheer a person up." Kim and Summer both grimaced and I realized I had put my foot in my mouth. They were trying to distract themselves and I wasn't really helping them.

"Sorry." I apologized. I sighed as Summer shrugged. "I think I'm going to get some fresh air." Somehow everything was so stuffy here. I got up and moved to the front door. The fresh air hit me in the face and the temperature dropped. I closed the door behind me and moved to the other side of the porch. I saw the dark form of Collin and he appeared in view. His eyes stood intelligent and I knew that this thirteen year old was brighter than he let on.

"Hey." I murmured and I ascended the three-step and sat down next to Collin's form. He was warm and I inched closer to his hot fur. I knew he wouldn't be that good of a company when it came to talking but at least this was better than nothing.

Collin wasn't paying much attention to me though. In fact, his eyes were more focused on something in the distance. I tried following his gaze but I didn't see much but trees. I suppose that he was keeping an eye on the battle. I blinked and turned my eyes to Collin. The battle. Of course! He is able to see and feel the battle since the pack was able to read each other's thoughts.

"How are they doing?" I demanded. "Who is winning? Is someone hurt?" I looked at him as I moved to my knees and I peered into the dark eyes that gave away that this was Collin. He blinked once and I frowned. What did that mean?

"Is that a yes? Is someone hurt?" I took a shaky breath and tears blurred my vision. Someone was hurt, oh God! Who could it be? Seth? Jacob? Jared? Maybe even... Paul!

Suddenly Collin nudged me on the shoulder with his nose. I looked at him startled. He shook his head.

"No one's hurt?" I specified and he nodded. I put my hand on my chest and nodded. "That's a relief." He gave me a loopy grin and nodded. I smiled somewhat weak. In a situation like this it was hard to really laugh and be genuine about it.

"How are they doing? Are they winning?" I demanded, going to my other question. I was fully crouching in front of him now. He rolled his eyes and the only vibe I was getting off Collin was that he wasn't taking me seriously. So I reacted with the only emotion I was familiar right now. Annoyance.

"Damnitt Collin! I know you can't talk but can you at least give me some indication how things are going?" I snapped. Collin looked at me. "Fine! Blink once for yes, twice for no." I was using my last options. He barked. Mocking me no doubt.

"Alright, so again. Are they alright?" Collin blinked once.

"That's a relief. Now, are we winning?" Collin blinked three times.

"What does that mean?" I demanded incredulously. "We only discussed blinking once and twice. Three times? What the hell is that supposed to be mean?" Collin gave me an exasperated look when suddenly he howled. And no it wasn't a simple howl because he saw the freaking moon. That wasn't even possible because it was like eleven in the morning. No it was an earthshaking, glass shattering, heartbreaking howl. I let out a shriek and stumbled to my backside. I wanted to something, soothe him but I didn't know how.

Collin was on his front paws, digging his face in to the damp earth as he let out sharp howls that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Panic flooded through me and I felt my eyes blur again. Suddenly Emily shot through the front door, behind her was Brady. He was in cut off shorts and he was glancing at Collin with a panicked expression.

"What's wrong with him?" I cried out.

"Someone got hurt." Emily said. There was no emotion in her face. And I felt the blood leave mine as I looked at the dark wolf in front of me. Someone got hurt, and the reason he was crying out was because he felt himself. I felt a bile rise at the back of my throat.

"Who?" I whispered. I glanced at Brady.

"I phased back when I felt it." He responded. "It's not good."

"WHO IS IT?" I shrieked.

Brady looked at Collin. I was trembling now and I put my shaky hand in front of my mouth. Please don't let it be Paul, please. Please. Suddenly Collin phased back. I ignored the fact he was naked and Brady rushed to his friend. Emily was right behind him. Collin was gasping.

"It's Jake. It's not good." My heart stopped.

It wasn't Paul.

I jumped to my feet and ran to Paul's car. I was hoping he had left the keys in the car. I plopped down in the driver's seat and saw that the keys were indeed dangling beneath the steering wheel. I let out a shaky breath and started the car. I saw Kim and Summer on the porch, looking incredulous. I could've asked if they wanted to come but that I was on this adrenaline high. I wasn't even sure whether they would be going to Billy's but since I had a feeling that, that would be the right place for Jake to go, I had no other choice but abide to that feeling.

It was less than a four minute drive and the second I switched off the engine I ran out of the car, slamming the door a bit too hard. Knowing that if Paul saw it he would've bitten my head off. But I didn't care about that, so I ran to the small cottage and knocked on the door. I heard Billy's wheelchair as he wheeled himself to the front door and the second he opened the door I could see that he knew something was wrong. Even though I was a complete stranger to him. He knew I was an imprint. That would've been enough. For now.

"It's Jake." I gasped. His eyes widened and his skin paled when suddenly I heard screams. Loud screams, a voice shouting profanities and as I turned around I saw four half naked men carry someone. There were several other people behind them. The pack. I yelped when someone pulled me inside. I turned around and saw a pale, dark haired, with blue eyes look outside. He had an horrified expression and by the car outside I realized that this was Chief Swan. I gulped. Surely he wasn't clued in on the secret.

"What is going on, kid?" I shivered.

The pack moved inside as Jacob's screams reverberated through the room. Quil, Embry, Sam and Paul were carrying him and Chief Swan pulled me out of the way, hiding me from their view as they moved past us. I wasn't sure what to do as my eyes blurred with the tears that were threatening to fall when Seth and Jared moved into the house.

"Seth!" I cried out and I moved to his way burying my face in his chest.

"Jules!" Seth cried out surprised. It took him a second to respond to my embrace and another to ask questions. "How did you know? How did you get here?"

"Collin." I mumbled. "I took Paul's car." I said with a shaky breath. I looked at Jared and let go of Seth and gave the other boy a hug. I knew I needed it, but I knew he did too.

"So everything went well? It's over." I asked as I pulled away.

Both Jared and Seth nodded. "Let's go outside though." Jared said when Jake screamed again. I flinched and looked with wide eyes at Jared who cringed and took me by the arm.

"He has a weak stomach." Seth joked. Trying to lighten the air. Which didn't really work though. I still felt anxious. Knots were in my stomach mostly because the one person I was dying to see hadn't come to me. I went along with Jared when he said to go outside but I was still waiting for the real blow when I'd see Paul. I knew he wasn't hurt as extremely like Jake but he couldn't be perfect. That was impossible right. This is a war. And in a war on both sides there are casualties. Don't take me wrong, I'm relieved he is alright. But somehow I just can't get my mind wrapped around the fact that he's alive and well.

"He's alright." Jared mumbled as both of stood in front of Paul's car. I looked over at him. My eyes portraying confusion. "Paul, I mean." He clarified. "He's fine." I gave him a weak smile. Now I wanted nothing more but to see Paul myself.

"I'm gonna go to Jake now. You stay here." Jared said as he moved back inside the cottage. I leant against the car when the door closed shut behind him. If there was anything worse than waiting, it was the anxiety that waiting brought with itself. Like now, the only thing on my mind is Paul. It's like a mantra. It keeps repeating itself and my heart is fluttering while my hands are clammy with sweat.

"Jules!" I looked up and saw Paul. To my surprise I started crying. Not shedding a few tears, no sobbing full out and it didn't help for Paul's own worry that he was showing on his face. He was holding me in a few strides. My arms wrapped around his neck as I cried loudly. He was murmuring words, words I couldn't comprehend. I felt his warm hands on my back as they held me close to him. I felt his mouth on my skin as he kissed my forehead.

"I thought you were going to die." I sobbed. Closing my eyes by the thoughts as I trembled. "And when Collin howled. I-I t-thought..."

"Baby, don't cry. I'm fine. See?" He said as I had pulled away and was now running my fingers through his hair. He was sweating, I didn't mind though. His rough, calloused fingers gently wiped away the tears beneath my eyes. I pushed myself on my toes and pressed my lips against his.

I was demanding. I wanted nothing more but to have him, completely. Right now, right here. He ran his hand through my hair before settling on the small of my back. His hands eventually slipping beneath my shirt as his hands rubbed circles on my skin. I was still crying though but that didn't stop me from deepening the kiss. My hand ran from his chest to his biceps and I dug my nails into them. I heard his throaty groan and I was somewhat satisfied I was able to arouse such a feeling. His hips dug into mine and I felt the pit of my stomach tighten in pleasure. I gasped and pulled away, his lips leaving a trail from my jaw to my the base of throat.

Slowly he pulled away and I wrapped my arms around his neck, hoping he would keep me up since my knees were like jelly. His face was still buried in the crook of my neck and suddenly he put his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up. I yelped as he put me on the hood of his car. I looked at him, trying to find some imperfections caused by the fight. But his skin wasn't blemished at all. In fact, it was flawless and I sighed. I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed his forehead.

"I love you." I whispered. My fingers were caressing his face. I drew a path from his eyes to his jaw. From his nose to his lips. From his forehead to his hair.

"I know." He murmured. "I know." I moved closer to him, craving his embrace.

_**A/N: And? How was it? Let me know in a review :)**_

**_P.S This chapter was inspired by Howl by Florence and the Machine. Good song! Very appropriate as well :P_**


	36. A Sky Of Diamonds Just For Us

_A Sky Of Diamonds Just For Us_

The chatter surrounding me wouldn't have bothered me, but seeing the circumstances it only aggravated me. Evoking a reaction that burned beneath my skin. He was late. Out of all the days to be late, he chose tonight. The last night I was able to spend with my family since tomorrow I was moving to the campus. On the other side of the freaking country! And he was late. My own father was late because he had responsibilities. Don't I count as a responsibility? Or am I even that unworthy of his attention. I looked at my mother who was conversing with Paul who was seated next to me. I loved this restaurant. I was glad my mother had arranged something like this, especially because she had also included Paul. His warm had was clutching my much smaller one. He was the only reason I hadn't snapped yet.

But I suppose even that was a luxury I couldn't afford. I dropped the napkin I was holding in my other hand and glared at my mother. Refraining from slamming my hand on the table. I didn't want to cause a scene but sometimes it seemed impossible.

"He's not here yet." I stated. My mother looked at me and pressed her lips together. Her eyes thoughtful.

"He will come. He's just running a bit late." I raised my eyebrows. A bit late?

"We've been sitting here for over an hour. We're almost done eating." I said, as I pointed to our plates. "How _late _can you be?" I was practically growling and I was certain my mother didn't appreciate that.

"Julie, watch your tone." She said sternly. "He had some business to attend to. It happens." Yeah, you can say that. It happens all the time.

"It's my last night here." I resorted to being hurt. I was. I knew he didn't see me as a perfect daughter, and I never claimed to be one. But even he wasn't all that stone hearted. "And he can't even show up on time." I closed my eyes and rested my head on my palm.

"Julie, I'm sure it's not like that. If he could-" My mother began but I cut her off. I had enough of it. Her trying to make excuses for his actions.

"Stop it!" I hissed. Paul's hand tightened. "I'm his daughter!" I pointed out and at some point my eyes were brimming with tears. "Doesn't that mean anything? Do I mean that little to him?"

"Of course not." My mother gasped when suddenly a dark figure was standing next to our table. He sat down next to my mother and I averted my eyes. I didn't want to see him right now. My _father_.

"Sorry I'm late." He grunted and he pecked my mother on the cheek before nodding towards Paul. He didn't say anything to me. I felt a hot rush of anger run through me. Bubbling underneath my skin like lava and I stood up abruptly.

"Jules." I ignored Paul's voice.

"Well it's nice to see you've decided to show up." I said angrily. "But I think it's time to go."

"Sit down, Julie." My father ordered. Not fazed by little temper tantrum. I blinked when Paul pulled me down. "I'm here now, aren't I?"

"You were an _hour_ late. That's not nothing." I hissed. "You could've stayed away and I would've been just as upset as I am now. Don't you even care?" His eyes watched me carefully and I was hoping I was cracking his armour. Maybe he would show me what I wanted him to show. But of course, it was all wishful thinking. These kind of things didn't happen when it came to Finn Lynam. Especially when my mother was near.

"I had things to settle at the hospital." My father said pointedly. He was warning me to pull back and I realized that this had become a personal battle between my father and I. Even Paul wasn't reacting. Merely holding my hand to pull back. Even my mother wasn't reacting.

"So you're telling me I'm less important than your responsibilities at work?" I whispered, hurt. "Do you think so little of me?"

His brown eyes were hard and his jaw clenched in the vocal aggression but since we were in a public place I doubted that he was going to react upon it. He was far too collected for that. My father. I closed my eyes and the tears spilled, staining my cheeks. I felt Paul's arm behind my back. I ignored it.

"You don't care. You never did." I admitted. I looked at him through blurry eyes. "I know I'm not what you wanted and I can deal with that. But stop brushing me off like this. I'm your daughter. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" I trailed off slowly.

"Enough, Julie! I didn't come here to be lectured. I'm your father, show some damn respect." I swallowed thickly.

"And I'm your _daughter_." I told him. "I'll show you respect, when you'll deem me important." I got up and grabbed my purse before leaving the table.

"Julie." My mother's voice rang. I ignored it.

As I walked out of the restaurant feeling somewhat proud. I may have ruined my last night here but I've finally told my father what I felt. For the first time I've honestly told him what was on my mind. That had to count for something. Maybe it was the fact that it was my last night and since everything felt so final I decided to act out but whatever it was. It didn't change my other emotions. The fact I was hurt and the fact I was still crying.

The cold air hit me softly and my eyes brimmed with another set of tears. Walking out on someone had never been so easy. I wrapped my arms around my bare shoulders and shivered. This was Forks, it was always cold here and I silently cursed for not bringing my jacket with me. Maybe Paul would bring it.

Hot arms settled around me, hands on my stomach. I knew it was Paul. I recognized his scent immediately. I didn't bother to turn around but Paul's warmth comforted me so I pressed my back closer to him. I felt his breath on the back of my ear as he gently kissed my bare shoulder.

"You okay?" He asked gruffly. His voice low, yet coming out as a whisper. I shrugged as I eyed the road. "I take that as a no then." I shrugged again.

"I _hate_ him." I murmured. "I never thought that was possible, but I actually_ do_ hate him. Does that make me a bad person?" I wondered out loud. I wasn't expecting any answers but I knew Paul wasn't going to let this slide.

"You don't hate him. You _think_ you hate him because you need to react in a way." He said softly. His voice was full with affection, affection for me. But his words held some kind of truth.

I resented him. Yes, but fully hating him maybe was a too big of a word.

"You love him even though he neglects you. And that is what you hate." Paul finished and my chest heaved with a shaky breath. I hated it when he was right. "There will be a day when he'll come around, and he'll regret the fact that he has missed so much. You're a warm, kind, talented girl. Who has done nothing but accepted everything he did."

"You forgot pretty." I joked.

"Don't you mean beautiful?" Paul said seriously and I turned around, grimacing.

"You're biased."

"You're stubborn." He shot back and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"You know." He mused as he eyed me up and down. "I really do love this dress. Have I mentioned that?" I shook my head as I smiled and I put hand on his blue dress shirt. "Well, you look ravishing." He playfully kissed the side of my neck again.

I groaned. "It sounds like you want to eat me." I retorted playfully. He laughed lowly and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

The summer had gone by faster than I'd expected. And since it was over now I can't help but feel remorse. I knew this day was coming. You can't stop time, no matter how much you want it. So I had stopped doing that and instead I tried to enjoy it to the fullest I could. And that worked, for a while. Because even if you've fully accepted it, there'll always be a tiny voice in your mind that will push you back to your former state. And that is exactly what happened. At night, when Paul slept. I couldn't help but feel time slip through my fingers. It was like trying to hold water. And I found myself wondering whether I was doing the right thing in the first place.

Paul was staying in La Push. He was going to take a year off to focus on the pack. Especially with the Cullen drama that was going on. Apparently Bella was going to get married in a couple of days and she had crushed Jake's heart in the process. He ran away and was still missing. I knew that it tore the pack apart, not to mention his close friends and family. Bella was looking for him though, I didn't buy it.

"Let's go home." I murmured. And Paul gave me a tiny smile.

"Yeah. Wait here. I'll go get our coats." I nodded and watched Paul disappear back inside the restaurant. I really was lucky to have found him. To have him stick around even after the many mistakes I've made. We've endured a lot in the past six months. I never knew that maintaining a relationship could be this hard. But it was fairly easy as well. They went hand in hand in fact. I felt more at ease with Paul than with anyone else. And I don't think that was going to change soon.

So with me leaving for college was just another bump in the road and we were going to smooth it down. Because with him, it was worth it. And I was dead sure that we were going to survive because we've done worse. We've _been_ worse. Besides, not being with Paul isn't really an option. It's a necessity. And I know relationships should be done with free will. But with us, free will was equivalent to necessity. And I _needed_ Paul just as much as he needed me.

"Here you go." Paul was back and he handed me my coat before he plucked the car keys out of his pocket. He pushed me into the direction of his car. His hand pleasantly hovering on the small of my back.

As we drove back to La Push I felt my heart clench, I was going to miss Paul so much. I knew it wasn't permanent, we were going to see each other every two months but somehow that wasn't nearly good enough. I needed him, so much that being apart from him for more than a day was hell. But not going to college wasn't an option either. I didn't want to give up everything and I doubted Paul would let me in the first place. So the situation remained the same.

"Paul, let's go to the beach." I spoke up. Paul turned to me, his brown eyes interested.

"Sure." He responded and he turned the car, heading to the beach. We drove for what seemed five minutes when suddenly the rain started to pour. I cursed. There goes our idea of fun on the beach, or should I say my idea.

"Shit." Paul cursed. "I don't think the beach is going to be an option now." I nodded while a grimace adorned my face.

"Can we stay here though?" Paul nodded and turned off the engine and for a while the only thing we could hear was the rain tapping down on the window.

"Come on." I murmured. "Let's do something stupid." I said and I opened the door and got out of the car.

The rain poured down on me and the splatters soaked me immediately. I could see Paul's incredulous face from the car and I smiled, beckoning him to come. He took off his coat and got out of the car. It was cold and my dress was definitely ruined as it clung to my curves. I bent forward and took off my shoes, discarding them next to the car and decided to eye Paul. His dress shirt was soaked and I could hear him swear. I laughed.

"Can't handle rain?" I asked him and Paul scowled before moving towards me. His skin was hot, like usual, and I decided that there was no way I was going to let him go tonight.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and leant my head against his chest. I felt his hot arms around mine and his mouth kissed my bare shoulder. I wasn't sure how long we stood like this out here. In the rain, but at some point the thunder started and I pulled away startled. It was as if everyone was trying to make this even harder than it already was. Paul ignored it though and bent down to press his lips against mine. I eagerly replied. Pressing myself closer to him as goose bumps surfaced on my skin. I tugged at his shirt before sliding my hands beneath them, palming his back. Exploring every bit of hot skin.

The kiss was lazy in nature and we took our time to explore each other's mouths. The way he nipped my lower lip, pulling, biting before delving his tongue in my mouth again made my toes curl. His hands were holding my face before they moved down my sides to my hips where he pulled at the dress and his hands moved up from beneath my dress. His bare hands on my skin made the pit of my stomach tightened and I felt like I was on fire. I pulled away as he kept on kissing my chin, my jaw and then my throat. His hands were now kneading my backside. I scratched his back with my nails in anticipation. The moan that escaped his mouth made me yearn for more.

"Maybe." I gasped. Paul was very good at kissing and I pushed myself on my toes bringing my hands to his chest now. He muscles clenched beneath my touch. "We should continue..." I moaned as he pulled away the strap of my dress and his mouth moved closer to the swell of my breasts. "car..." I brought out. I pulled at his arm as I tried to move towards the vehicle.

Both of us stumbled to his car and I quickly picked up my shoes before I forgot about them and we got in the car, his weight pinning me down on the backseat. I threw the shoes to the front and Paul closed the door behind us. I knew where this was going and I had no problem with it whatsoever. The only thing I was worried about though was whether it was going to work in the car. I've never done it here before. But once Paul touched me again I was long past gone and I threw myself into our current occupations.

I unbuttoned his shirt kissing every piece of exposed skin, nipping, dragging my teeth across his skin before pulling his shirt off him. His tan skin was illuminated in the faint light and I brought my hand to his cheek, dragging fingers across his jaw before pulling him closer for a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and arched my back into him, wanting to feel my skin on his. I was impatient and wanted to get rid of my dress as soon as possible but Paul wanted to go slow and he was thoroughly investigating my skin.

He was slowly pulling the straps off my shoulders as he kissed down my throat to my collar bone, resting for a bit. His teeth pulled at the skin before licking it with his tongue. I heaved a deep sigh and his hands started to work on the end of my dress. He dragged it up my thighs and it was now bunched up around my waist. His fingers ran on my inner thighs and my muscles clenched with the fire his touch gave me.

"The zipper is on the side." I breathed out as Paul got frustrated when he couldn't get the dress off without ruining it. And I refused to ruin this dress for I did love it. Paul swore and I giggled finding the situation incredibly hilarious. His fingers skilfully found the zipper and he pulled it down. I arched my back into him and he pulled the dress over my head.

I felt his eyes on me and both of us were still for a moment. Taking each other in for a second. "You're beautiful." He whispered and he moved down to press his lips on me again. I smiled into the kiss before deepening it. I wanted to _hear_ him, I wanted to feel him. Our tongues stroked each other and my hands moved to the button of his pants and I eagerly unbuckled it. He raised his hips to get his pants off and soon the only thing separating us were his boxers and mine panties.

"Slow." I whispered and my hand moved inside his boxer brushing his length. I started to stroke him slowly, holding him in my hand. His face buried in the crook of my neck. His breath fanned my skin and I felt my own arousal when he moaned.

"Jules." His guttural sighs always were the best. His moans and pants were starting to spur me myself and I as his hands gripped my hips he started to trail a path to my chest with his mouth. The skin he touched with his mouth burned and I moaned as his mouth brushed over my nipples. They hardened immediately and I felt my body react immediately. I cried out as his mouth closed over my nipple, his teeth scratching the delicate skin.

"P-Paul." I stammered as I dug my nails into his back. The rain was still pounding and it was strange I had forgotten about my surroundings completely. This just proved that his touch always had me undone. The sky thundered and a flash of light illuminated us. He looked even more beautiful.

His hands moved the sides of my panties and he quickly pulled them off. His hands moved up my inner thighs before his fingers dipped inside of me. I moaned as he rubbed the sensitive nub. My eyes fluttered close and my hips rocked against his hand. The feelings were intensifying and I wanted to feel him inside of me.

"I-I n-need you Paul." I gasped before moaning again.

"Patience Jules." He breathed out and my hips moved again. This time I was starting to reach my climax, my limbs started to twitch and suddenly he pulled away. I groaned when I heard his low laugh. His lips teasing my neck again when he positioned himself at my opening. His hips moved closer and I realized he had gotten rid of his boxers without my help. I wanted to say something but every word left my train of thought when he pushed himself inside of me.

I grabbed his arms as our hips started to move in sync. He filled me completely and the only thing I was aware of, were the waves of pleasure washing over me. I was completely riding this wave and I felt his arm grip my back as his own grunts intensified. I was perfectly sure that no one would ever be able to see where the other began since we were so complete. His thrusts quickened and the pressure started to built. I felt my muscles clamp around his and suddenly I gripped the edge of the car seat when Paul slammed his mouth on me, effectively muffling the sounds I was making. He thrust heavily again as the pressure was released and both of us collapsed, spent in every way.

We were breathing harshly and Paul's face was buried in my neck. I shivered as his breath fanned my skin. His heat was engulfing me completely and I felt sleepy wanting to sleep with Paul still on top of me. But I knew that wasn't an option and I smacked Paul's arm to get his attention.

"That was..." I began, swallowing before I could use my voice again. "I have no words for it." I concluded. I felt his grin on my skin.

"Amazing? Brilliant? Hot as hell?" Paul teased. "Well I agree." And for once I didn't scold his arrogance. Conceited ass he was.

Slowly he pulled himself off of me again and we got dressed, unfortunately. Although I wouldn't say I didn't take another peek at him while getting dressed. I'd be honest, this car experience definitely was something I was going to remember. I glanced at Paul and noticed there was something in his eyes that tugged on my heartstrings. As he started to button his shirt I quickly moved to his lap, straddling him. I ignored the surprised look on his face and started to button his shirt up.

"Not that I'm not appreciating this? But I rather you _unbutton_ it, Jules." Paul winked and I smacked the top of his head.

"Ass." I gritted out before looking outside. The rain had stopped and I rested my head against his chest. His hand stroked the length of my hair, or should I say bird's nest for it must look horribly like sex hair. That brought a smile to my face.

"I'm going to miss you." And this statement brought tears to my eyes.

"Yeah, me too." I said as my voice cracked. I sighed and pulled away before realizing that tears were brimming in my eyes. His thumb caressed the fragile skin beneath my eyes before pecking the tip of my nose.

"Don't cry." I sniffed letting out a watery laugh.

"I'm not." And he raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Right..."

"It's true. I just got something in my eye." Paul rolled his eyes and I sighed, the corner of my mouth pulling down. "We're going to make this work, aren't we?"

"Definitely." Paul responded and he pulled me closer to him again. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. "It's just college Jules. Next year I'll be going as well and slowly we'll be wrapped up in our own lives we won't even notice each other's absence." I snorted. As if!

"That's bull." I responded dryly. "You're just saying that."

"True." He responded and silence engulfed us again.

Whatever was waiting for us was something we could overcome. A bump in the road was only natural and we were strong enough to stand against it. This was like a new adventure. Only, it was a separate adventure, one that didn't include each other directly. And that was the only thing that bothered me immensely. For I wanted to be part of Paul's live in every possible way, including this. But I wasn't the only one that was going through this, so were Summer and Seth, Jared and Kim as well. This was normal. And we had our imprint bond to pull us through it all. For this was the start of our new life. In which we were always going to be a part of each other. Even when we weren't close to each other, it was a fact that would always remain.

We stood together, no matter what.

* * *

_Disclaimer: Nothing was mine, just the plot and the OC's you didn't recognize. The pack is and will always be SM's brilliant creations :D_

_A/N: So it's over :O I'm not sure how I feel about it. For the past 1 1/2 year this story has been very important to me. I didn't only get to share Julie and Paul's story but I also had the oppurtunity to entertain people with my writings. I personally think I've come a long way if you compare my horrible writing in the beginning to what I write now. But I suppose that's only natural. But anyways, one part of their journey is over and the other will begin soon! So I recommend you guys to put me on Author Alert for the sequel Oh Dear!!! Original title huh!_

_I want to thank every person who has supported me and reviewed for I couldn't have done it without you guys. You guys made it possible to breathe life into Paul and Julie's story. It wouldn't have come so far hadn't it been for you. I loved every single word, every constructive criticism, every objection, basically I loved EVERYTHING, because this story developed to something real! Thank you so, so, so much! But this story isn't over yet so I hope you guys will stay with me for the next ride, for it's going to be quite different from this one. This was just a tad more than puppy love! Oh Dear is going to be a lot more intense :D I'm looking forward to writing is even though I'm sad about this story. I'm done writing it. The first story I've actually finished :D I'm proud, like beaming right now :D lol!_

_So again, thank you and for the last time, please review and let me know your thoughts about the ride called Oh Jules :D _

_Lov3good_

_P.S I might do some outtakes on Summer and Seth but I'll do them in a different file ;D_

_P.P.S Listen to the song I'll Hold My Breath by Ellie Goulding. Perfect song for this chapter :D_


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